Brooke was nothing less than Davey’s idol—his hero. It was easier for Tess to see that fact than it was for Brooke. Davey and Brooke shared a special bond, one that Tess at times envied. She had come to understand over the years that people gravitated to each other for reasons that defied explanation. A person could analyze why two people were drawn to each other, but in the end, that connection always rested in something unexplainable. That’s what made loving a person a unique and special experience. In Tess’s mind and heart, she had come to believe that people were led to each other for a reason. Life was not as happenstance as many people espoused. At least, that is not how Tess viewed it.
Many people in Tess’s life had thought her decision to have the twins had been a mistake. Tess had never once considered that. It had felt to her as if what was meant to be had come to pass. The same had been true when she had collided with Brooke. Tess had circled through many questions when she and Brooke had first begun their friendship. Her questioning always circled back to one inevitability—she loved Brooke. Tess could list a million reasons why she loved Brooke. She could recite an endless list of qualities and quirks that she cherished in her wife. All of those things had been learned over time. Tess had long realized that as strange as it might sound to some people, she had loved Brooke from the first night Brooke had sat in her kitchen eating pizza, listening to the twins tell her secrets. Love at first sight? That isn’t the way Tess saw it. Perhaps, Tess thought, love was just something that had to reveal itself in its own time. That didn’t mean that love hadn’t always been there. To most people, that would have sounded absurd. To Tess, it made perfect sense. She hadn’t needed to see her children to love them. She hadn’t needed to get to know her parents or her brothers to feel the bond that they shared. She’d immediately clicked with Brooke’s mother. There were countless examples in Tess’s life that supported her belief. And, that is how she viewed her children’s relationship with Brooke.
Tess had the advantage of watching Davey and Brooke together. She often mused that his affection for Brooke reminded her of the love she still held for her older brother. Tess thought about the brother she had lost each day. Those memories were no longer tainted by sadness. Instead, they brought Tess a sense of peacefulness and gratefulness. Often when she watched Davey with Brooke, she was reminded of herself and her brother, David. Tess had worshiped her brother. He had adored her. Although she had known that he was sick, somehow Tess had never expected him to leave her. It had taken her years to understand that he never truly had. Somehow, he was always there making his presence known at the most critical moments in her life. She often saw the twinkle in his eyes reflected in her children’s.
Tess watched as Davey looked at Brooke, silently imploring her for reassurance. Brooke was not invincible. Her miscarriage had brought that reality to bear. She was not immortal nor indestructible. Brooke was human, fallible, breakable—mortal. For Davey, that reality was frightening. He had known loss already in his young life. Brooke had become his rock. Brooke had won that place in his heart early on. She had been there at some of the most frightening moments in Davey’s young life, including his first visit to the hospital. He trusted Brooke to protect him. More than that, he counted on Brooke to stay. Losing Brooke was terrifying to Davey. Tess understood.
Tess tried unsuccessfully to capture Brooke’s attention. She had to admit, the current situation amused her slightly. Brooke was struggling to find a way to explain her pregnancy to Davey and to reassure him. Tess could almost hear the wheels in Brooke’s mind turning, running through medical explanations and realistic assurances. That might have been the best approach for a nervous new mother or couple in Brooke’s office. It was wholly inadequate in the current situation. Tess finally decided to break the tense silence.
“You might feel a little better if you eat that toast I slaved over,” Tess lightened the mood in the room.
Brooke looked at Tess gratefully and dutifully lifted the toast to her lips. Davey watched for a moment and then turned his attention to his mother.
“I made you sick?” he asked Tess again.
“I think we can give your sister at least half that credit,” Tess joked.
“Were you scared?” he asked his mother.
Tess smiled. She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t scared. Only that I would never get to eat again,” she chuckled at the memory.
Davey pondered his mother’s humor and then looked back at her pensively. “Did you worry we would die?”
Tess had not expected that question. She stared blankly at her son for a moment. She glanced up to catch a curious expression on Brooke’s face. Tess looked back and forth between her wife and her son and sighed. She hadn’t considered that Davey might be worried about the baby as much as he was about Brooke. In fact, Tess had been moderately concerned that Davey might harbor resentment at first toward his sibling. Sharing was not always easy. He was already struggling with sharing Brooke’s attention with Dani. Tess was taken off guard for a moment. Sometimes, her children surprised her.
“Was I afraid that something would happen to you and Dani?” Tess asked. Davey nodded. “I always worry about you and Dani,” Tess answered honestly. “But, honestly, I never really thought about that much when I was pregnant. I just looked forward to meeting you and wondered who you would be,” she told him.
“But, you were sick,” he reminded her.
“For a few weeks, yes, I was,” Tess replied. “But, that eventually went away just like it will with Brooke. And, even then, I would talk to you and your sister,” Tess laughed. “I would ask you what you were doing in there. I wondered if maybe you were practicing sailing or something because I felt seasick,” she told him. That earned her a giggle from both her son and her wife. Davey looked down again.
“Jason’s brother died,” Davey told his parents. “He wasn’t born yet either. But, Jason said it was his brother.” He looked at his mother. “And, Jason’s mom was in the hospital for a long time too. He said she was really quiet for a long time. So, what if he does?” Davey asked.
“What do you mean?” Tess asked.
“Well, your brother died. Brooke’s baby died. So, what if he does again? Dani and me will lose our brother and Brooke will have to…”
Tess reached out and grasped Davey’s knee. “Davey,” she called for his attention. Tess looked directly into her son’s eyes. “Sometimes things happen,” she admitted. “But, I don’t want you to worry so much about that,” Tess told her son. “Worrying about bad things doesn’t keep them from happening, sweetheart. It only prevents you from enjoying all the good stuff. And, there are so many things to be happy about right now.”
Davey remained skeptical. Brooke was beginning to feel a wave of nausea roll through her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and repeated Tess’s words in her mind. She opened her eyes and directed Davey to look at her.
“D.,” Brooke began. “Mom’s right.”
“But, you were quiet,” Davey said softly.
Brooke nodded. She had been quiet for a few weeks after her miscarriage earlier that year. “I guess, I was.”
“You were sad. Mom was sad. Now, you are sick. And, Jason said his mom was sick and then…”
“Davey,” Tess put her hand on her son’s back. I wish he would listen to us as much as he listens to these boys at school.
“I’m sorry, D.,” Brooke apologized. Davey and Tess both looked at Brooke. “I am. I’m sorry that you are worried. You are right. Mom and I were both sad for a while. And, the truth is I am a little nervous,” she admitted. She immediately continued, seeing fear paint Davey’s irises. “Not that anything bad will happen,” Brooke assured him. She watched his expression shift to curiosity. “What happened before… That’s not going to happen this time,” Brooke said confidently. She believed it. “Nervous about being a mom.”
“But, you are a mom,” Davey was confused.
Tess lifted her eyebrow at Brooke and Brooke chuckled nervously.
“Yeah, but a baby can’t talk or ride a bike,” Brooke told Davey. “I can do all those things with you and Dani. You two can do most things for yourself. Your mom is the one who taught you all the things you needed to learn like how to get dressed and how to use…”
Davey smiled at Brooke. “Are you afraid of poop?” Davey laughed. Brooke’s eyes flew open. Davey laughed harder.
“I’m not afraid of poop!” I see disgusting things every day. Brooke defended herself as if she were a chastised child.
Tess held back the urge to laugh. She wasn’t sure what had shifted Davey’s mood. His candid and playful question warmed her heart. Davey was proud of himself for the reaction his question received. “Okay,” Tess interrupted the banter. “You need to get ready for school,” she reminded Davey as she began to make her way out of the room.
“I will in a minute,” he promised. Tess looked back and offered him a cautionary glance. “I will!” he promised. Davey turned back to Brooke.
“What?” Brooke asked. “You forget who cleaned Mom’s car after you had your food poisoning?”
“That was gross,” Davey shuddered. He looked at Brooke thoughtfully.
“D., I don’t want you to worry about me,” Brooke told him.
“Why not? You worry about me.”
“You’re my son,” Brooke replied. “It’s my job.”
Davey shrugged. “Kids worry about Moms too.”
“I guess they do,” Brooke agreed.
“Brooke?”
“Yeah?”
“Me and Dani will help.”
Brooke smiled. “I know you will.”
Davey hopped off of the bed. “Not with poop,” he said, laughing as he went.
Brooke rolled her eyes. In less than a minute, Tess appeared back in the doorway.
“Do you think that was it?” Brooke asked Tess.
Tess shook her head. “No, but I think it was a start,” she told Brooke honestly.
“You think that he’s still worried,” Brooke surmised.
Tess smiled. “I think he loves you,” Tess replied. “And, yes, I think he’s worried about a lot of things. I think this morning helped.”
“I’m not sure how,” Brooke confessed.
“Maybe it was just having some time without anyone else around. Maybe seeing for himself that you are okay.”
Brooke put her half-eaten piece of toast back on the tray. “Okay might be a bit strong,” she groaned.
Tess took the tray and placed it on the bedside table. She sat down next to Brooke and accepted Brooke’s head onto her shoulder. Tess placed a kiss on Brooke’s temple. “This too shall pass,” she promised.
“Umm. You mean the seasickness or do you mean Davey’s questions?”
“Both,” Tess answered. She heard Brooke sigh and pulled Brooke down onto the bed and into her arms. “I know you don’t believe me right now, but one day we will look back on all of this and laugh.”
Brooke pulled herself up and felt Tess’s forehead with the back of her hand. Tess laughed. “You must have a fever,” Brooke said. Tess shook her head and smiled. “Explains your delusions,” Brooke said as she fell back into Tess.
Tess closed her eyes when she felt Brooke relax against her. Brooke hadn’t slept well, and Tess was certain that Brooke needed some rest. She opened her eyes a few moments later when she sensed a presence in the door. Davey looked at his mother and Tess smiled at him. She kissed Brooke’s forehead and extricated herself from Brooke’s grasp.
“Is Brooke sick again?” Davey wondered.
“Just tired,” Tess told him. “Come on; I’ll give you and Dani a ride this morning.”
“What if Brooke wakes up?” he asked.
“I doubt she will for a while,” Tess replied. “Don’t worry; she’s been potty trained longer than both of us,” Tess joked. Davey’s eyes flew open at his mother’s unexpected words. Tess laughed as she escorted her son from the room. It really never gets old.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THREE WEEKS LATER
“Are you sure you are feeling up to being here?” Rachel asked Brooke.
Brooke shrugged. “Yes,” Brooke rolled her eyes at the skeptical look her best friend sported. “I have a window.”
“Window, huh? Funny, a couple of weeks ago you were asking for buckets,” Rachel deadpanned.
“Funny, Rach.”
“What do you mean, you have a window?” Rachel asked.
“Well, it would seem I suffer from Morning Wellness and Evening Upchucking.”
“Can’t do anything the normal way, can you?” Rachel teased.
Brooke shrugged again. “Hey, I’ll take it. It beats riding the Titanic all day long, every day. So? Who’s on first?” Brooke asked.
Rachel laughed. “Mrs. Valenti at nine and Donna Tanner at nine-thirty,” Rachel gave Brooke her line up for the morning. “Then we have staff at ten.”
Brooke nodded. She was not looking forward to the weekly staff meeting. She would have preferred that the few hours she spent in the office be dedicated to seeing patients. Being home in bed or on the bathroom floor for the last two plus weeks had made Brooke antsy. She needed to move. She had hoped that her stomach’s rebellion would have quelled by now. It had improved dramatically, but unfortunately for Brooke, it seemed that for a few hours each evening, she would continue to pay homage to the porcelain God.
Rachel smiled knowingly. “At least, you have a window,” she laughed.
“Yep. Better than the bucket,” Brooke agreed. “I’m just…”
“I know,” Rachel said. “Bored.”
“Frustrated,” Brooke corrected her best friend. Rachel looked at her curiously. “I am. Tess is running around like a madwoman. You are picking up extra hours here. I haven’t been able to practice for this thing with Dani. My Dad is running Davey around. I hate it. I should be able to help more.”
Rachel smiled. “You will. Give it another week or two. It will get better.”
“And, if it doesn’t?” Brooke asked.
“Then we will all deal with it. I doubt that will happen.”
“Glad you are so confident,” Brooke commented.
Rachel was sympathetic. Brooke had suffered through a rough couple of weeks. Rachel was sure that Brooke had convinced herself it had passed the first morning she had felt relief. Brooke was not used to be kept down by anything. Rachel couldn’t help the snicker that slipped from her lips.
“What’s so funny?” Brooke wanted to know.
“Not funny,” Rachel said. “I’m not laughing at you, Brooke. I swear. Just thinking this kid of yours is already putting you in your place.”
“That’s not funny,” Brooke said gravely.
“It is—kind of,” Rachel said. “Not that you are sick, but kids have a way of making you slow down and speed up all at once. It’s weird.”
“You don’t think I know that?” Brooke replied.
Rachel caught herself. Brooke was overly sensitive at times about her role in Dani and Davey’s life. Rachel grabbed her best friend’s arm. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
Brooke sighed. “I’m sorry, Rach. I just feel like I am letting everyone down. I swear, I am trying to suck it up, but it just keeps coming up instead.”
“No visual needed,” Rachel held up her hand. “Stop worrying about all of us, Brooke. Seriously. You’ve covered my ass a million times when Eli has been sick or when I have been.”
Brooke nodded. “So? What should I expect at staff?”
“You know my motto, expect the unexpected,” Rachel said.
“Maybe I will get lucky, and my window will close.”
***
“How was Brooke this morning?” Brad Campbell asked his daughter-in-law.
“Pretty good, actually,” Tess replied, taking a sip of her coffee. “Happy to get back to work, I think.”
“I’m sure,” Brad said. “How about you?” he wondered.
“Me?”
“Yes, you,” Bra
d laughed. “You’ve been moving at a steady clip,” he observed.
Tess shrugged. “Nothing new there,” she commented. “Except, I don’t have to go to work on top of it.”
“Missing it?”
“Work?” Tess asked. Brad nodded. “Oddly, no,” Tess answered. “To tell you the truth, I haven’t thought much about it.” She laughed. “I haven’t had time.” Tess looked at her father-in-law and shook her head. “Oh, no. Don’t tell me. Brooke is worried about me.”
“You know her,” he replied.
“I most certainly do.”
“She doesn’t want to burden you,” Brad said. Tess nodded. “That’s why I’m here,” he laughed.
“No, not really,” Tess told him. “Don’t believe me?” she laughed.
“Well, I know she thinks I might be able to help out some with Davey.”
“True. And, I suspect she’s right,” Tess said. “But, that’s not the only reason.”
“I think she…”
“Trust me. Brooke wants you here as much for her as she does for me or the kids,” Tess told Brad.
“She wants to grill me about Becky,” he laughed.
Tess shrugged. Brooke’s mother was due to arrive the next day for a long weekend. Tess generally spoke with her mother-in-law every day. It had been that way for over a year. Sometimes, it made Tess’s heart ache a bit for her mother. Tess and Mary Sinclair were drastically different women with opposing views on many subjects. And, in spite of the fact that Mary Sinclair had become more open to Tess and Brooke’s relationship, the past had words and accusations from her mother had left a mark on Tess. Tess found herself constantly on guard with her mother, waiting for the next critical comment or harsh judgment to fall from Mary’s lips. Rebecca Campbell seemed to understand Tess. More than that, she accepted Tess for who Tess was, with no inclination to try and shape Tess into someone else.
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