Brooke made no protest. She was anxious to resume what she had begun. But, Brooke struggled at times with the position she now found herself in. She loved it when she and Tess made love to each other in sync, but she often found it difficult to concentrate on making love to Tess when Tess was touching her. Brooke had no control over her body when Tess took over. It was delicious, but it also frustrated Brooke at times. She sucked in a ragged breath, determined that she would keep her focus on showing Tess how much love she held, and not on the sensations Tess was sure to evoke from her.
Tess became immediately lost in Brooke. She held Brooke in place, feeling the quivering in Brooke’s knees above her. She let her body rise to meet Brooke’s gentle explorations, feeling a rush of warmth to rush through her. She heard Brooke’s frustrated moan and softly kissed Brooke’s thigh, giving Brooke a moment to regain her composure before continuing. Tess understood Brooke. Brooke often commented about Tess’s generosity. Tess wondered if Brooke would ever know or realize that to Tess, Brooke was the most giving person in the world. It was Brooke’s capacity and need to give that drove Tess to want to surrender to Brooke so completely, and at the same time give Brooke everything she could in the world.
“Tess,” Brooke nearly cried as a wave of gentle ripples began to carry her higher. She pulled Tess as close to her as she could and tried to still her mind.
Tess felt Brooke’s body begin to move instinctively. She held Brooke steady and delighted in the way Brooke struggled to pull away slightly. Tess’s body hummed with energy. Her legs felt heavy. A deep ache that arose within had set off a series of ripples that were steadily building force through her entire body. Tess knew that a final wave of ecstasy would consume her as soon as Brooke let go. She teased Brooke one last time with the tip of her tongue before sucking gently.
Brooke’s mind exploded in an array of color. She tried to pull back and keep her focus on Tess’s need. Tess was relentless, and Brooke lost control. “Tess!” she cried out as her body thundered in response.
Tess felt dizzy hearing her name fall achingly from Brooke’s lips, and feeling Brooke’s body shudder against her. Tess fell over the edge of sanity. Her cries were muffled by her need to remain connected to Brooke. Tess continued making love to Brooke, swiftly sending Brooke into another rise and fall.
“Tess, God… Please… Tess,” Brooke panted desperately, begging for Tess to release her, half hoping Tess would refuse.
Tess did refuse, although she gentled her touch. Tess felt Brooke’s slight trembling build and slowly begin to recede, much like a wave as it brushes the shore. Brooke’s movements stilled, and a long, soft sigh escape her lips. Tess directed Brooke into her arms and kissed Brooke’s head. She smiled and stroked Brooke’s back lovingly as Brooke held onto her.
“I wanted to make that perfect for you,” Brooke commented.
“Don’t you know by now?” Tess asked.
“What?” Brooke wondered.
“Brooke, after all this time, don’t you know that making love to you is what always makes it perfect for me?”
“Maybe, but I want to give you…”
Tess pulled Brooke up to face her. “You give me everything by letting me love you,” Tess said. “You give me everything every day,” she said honestly.
Brooke closed her eyes when Tess kissed her forehead. “I did miss you.”
Tess smiled and guided Brooke back into her arms. “I missed you too, love.”
Silence enveloped the room for what seemed like hours; each woman lost in her private thoughts. Tess had started to drift into slumber when Brooke’s voice roused her. “Tess?”
“Hum?”
“Never mind.”
“What is it?” Tess asked. She heard Brooke grumble and laughed. “What is it?”
“Do you think Mom and Dad will get back together?” she asked.
Tess held Brooke a little closer. She suspected that the day’s events had kept Brad from discussing his plans with Brooke. Brooke sounded so small asking the question. When the topic of her parents arose, Brooke transformed into Bee, the little girl that Rebecca Sinclair often recounted affectionate stories of. Tess considered how to reply.
“Well, I think they already are, love,” Tess answered honestly.
“Yeah, I guess. But not really.”
Tess smiled as she placed another kiss on the top of Brooke’s head. “Well, does it matter what that looks like? I mean, whether they live together or are married? Whatever it looks like, Brooke, your mother loves your father, and he loves her. We both know that.”
“I guess. I just don’t want her to get hurt, you know? I love Dad, but Mom is…”
“I understand.”
“She’s still kind of traditional; you know? What if he doesn’t ask her? Or what if he doesn’t want to…” Tess’s chuckle interrupted Brooke’s thoughts. “Rambling, huh?”
“Only a little,” Tess said. “No matter what, Brooke, they will both be a part of your life.”
“You think it’s silly that I want them to get back together, I mean to be…”
“Married? No, I don’t. I think it’s normal.”
“It’d be nice to bring our kids to their grandparents’ house instead of to Grandma’s or Grandpa’s,” Brooke explained. She heard Tess’s sad sigh and scolded herself. “Tess… I know you miss your folks.”
“That’s the thing,” Tess said. “Sometimes, I do. But, I miss yours more,” she said honestly. “I love my parents, Brooke. I miss my dad. I miss them both, but I hate the eggshells. I hate feeling like I have to explain everything in my life. I’m not sure how much I want any of our kids around that.”
“You’re worried about the baby,” Brooke guessed. Tess made no reply. “Did your mom say something?”
“No,” Tess said. “She said she was happy for us.”
“But?”
“But, she is my mother,” Tess replied. “I wish I could trust that she meant that, that she viewed our baby the same way she sees the twins. ”
“Maybe she will.”
“I hope so,” Tess said. “I won’t have any of my children made to feel they are less in our family—any part of it.”
Brooke placed a kiss on Tess’s chest. She hoped that Tess’s parents would welcome their new grandchild with enthusiasm. She had little doubt that Chris Sinclair would. And, Brooke was convinced that Tess’s mother would try. She also understood that “try” is where the issue remained. Mary would have to try. That was a heartbreaking reality for Tess.
Brooke and Tess had made the decision not to disclose any details about Brooke’s pregnancy. That had been a unanimous decision when they began to move forward with their plans. Brooke had gently suggested that perhaps if Mary knew that Tess’s brother Gary was the donor, it might help her accept things. Tess adamantly disagreed. She and Gary both agreed that the reality would have a dramatic impact on Mary Sinclair’s feelings. Whether that would be positive or negative, neither was sure. For Gary’s part, this baby would be his niece or nephew. He had no desire to open a can of worms with his mother.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Tess guessed where Brooke’s thoughts might have traveled.
Brooke had no desire to ruin their evening. She respected Tess’s feelings. And, in truth, she had been relieved that neither Tess nor Gary wanted the biological realities exposed. This was her baby with Tess. That was that. She decided it was time to lighten the mood a bit.
“Oh? You know what I am thinking, huh?” Brooke challenged.
“I do… and…”
“I was just wondering if Bailey will like lasagna as much as I do,” Brooke cracked.
Tess moved to face Brooke and pursed her lips. They had been discussing baby names while Brooke had been home. Bailey was a particular favorite of Brooke’s—mainly because Brooke knew Tess had an aversion to it.
“Bailey sounds like Murphy’s sister. You are not giving birth to a black lab, and we are not naming our daughter Bailey,” Tess tol
d Brooke.
“Ah-ha! See? You do think it’s a girl!”
“No, I don’t.”
“Really? Why are you grinning then?” Brooke asked suspiciously.
“Well, if you must know, I was wondering if the nursery should be green. If Daniel takes after you, I would imagine he would feel right at home.”
“Oh no,” Brooke waved a finger. “No more Ds. Double Ds is enough for me to handle already,” she said. Tess’s eyebrow shot up into her hairline. Brooke rolled her eyes. “You do not have double Ds,” Brooke reminded Tess. “I think I would know. Two D names are enough, Diana.”
“Oh? Is that so, David Banner?”
Brooke broke out into laughter. “Point taken. No more Ds…. And, you know I am right,” Brooke said.
“Don’t get too set on those lasagna nights, love,” Tess said. “You’ll be busy planning my monthly get-a-ways between Dominic’s diaper changes.”
“No Ds!” Brooke laughed. Tess finally gave in and laughed with Brooke. “Seriously, you really think it’s a boy?” Brooke asked.
“Yep.”
“Really?” Brooke urged.
“Yep.”
“No way,” Brooke countered confidently.
Tess giggled. “We could settle it; you know?”
Brooke sat up. “Do you want to know beforehand?”
Tess shrugged. “It’d give you more time to plan those get-a-aways,” she winked.
“You do want to know,” Brooke surmised.
Tess smiled. She had overheard Brooke late one night on the phone with Rachel. Tess had just gotten back from walking Murphy. Brooke was listing all the reasons why not knowing the gender of the baby was a good thing. Tess recognized the familiar attempt Brooke sometimes made at rationalizing why what she wanted was not the best thing. There had been other little slips of the tongue that Tess had paid mind to. Tess didn’t care either way. She didn’t care about any bets either. Boy or girl, know or have it be a surprise, none of that mattered to Tess. Gender didn’t matter to Brooke. Tess knew that. Originally, Brooke had been adamant that she wanted to be surprised. Something had shifted. Tess had her guess. Knowing would let Brooke plan, and in some way feel a small sense of control. Right now, many things were out of Brooke’s control. Tess was sure Brooke would never confess that she wanted to find out the gender of the baby.
Tess let Brooke off the hook. “I guess I just would like to be able to refer to him by name,” Tess said. Brooke’s glowing smile told Tess everything she needed to know. “If that’s okay with you?” Tess asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I’ll have all that lasagna to look forward to. Plus, Bella will like hearing her name, I think.”
Tess rolled her eyes. Another name for a dog? Good thing it’s a boy. “Go to sleep,” Tess said.
“Why? Are you tired?” Brooke teased. Tess raised her brow again. “Because I feel oddly awake,” Brooke said, letting her hand cup Tess’s breast.
Tess chuckled. “Checking my cup size?”
“Solid C,” Brooke commented before moving to kiss Tess.
Tess couldn’t help the fit of giggles that ensued, even as Brooke began making her intentions known. Oh, love, you are too much. I do love you.
CHAPTER TEN
JUNE
Tess tried not to laugh at Brooke’s nervous pacing. “Brooke?” she called for Brooke’s attention. Brooke spun on her heels. Tess finally lost all hope of holding back and laughed. “What are you more nervous about?” she asked. “Planning all my get-a-ways, watching Dani’s concert, or watching your parents get remarried?”
“All of it,” Brooke said. “Can you get morning sickness a second time, because I think I might throw up.”
Tess’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “You’re the doctor,” she reminded Brooke. “Listen, if you don’t want to know the gender, just tell Dr. Kowalski that when we get in there and she won’t tell you.”
“I don’t want you to be disappointed,” Brooke said honestly.
Tess smiled. “As I recall, lasagna nights have a distinct benefit for me,” she winked.
“I know you are hoping…”
“I am hoping for a healthy baby that drives me every bit as crazy in ten years as his brother and sister do now,” Tess replied. Brooke nodded. “Ready?” Tess asked. Brooke took a deep breath and nodded again. “Come on, let’s go say hello to that little one.”
Brooke took a deep breath and followed Tess to the car. Her thoughts quickly spun to Dani. I wonder if she’s nervous?
***
“Did you talk to Brooke?” Brad asked Rebecca.
“No, but I talked to Tess,” Rebecca told him with a smirk.
“She just seemed… When I was talking to her last night about Saturday’s plans, she seemed… I don’t know… I thought she was happy about us getting…”
“She is,” Rebecca tried to quiet Brad’s fears. “You know Bee,” she said affectionately. “I’m not sure she pictured watching her parents get married—ever—to anyone,” she laughed. “Hell, I know I didn’t.”
Brad nodded. “Second thoughts?”
“Not a one.”
Brad shifted gears. “Think she’s nervous about that appointment?”
“I think her mind is on a lot of things today,” Rebecca explained.
“Think she’ll be disappointed if she’s wrong?” he asked.
“You mean if it’s not a girl?” Rebecca asked. Brad nodded. “Not in the least,” Rebecca answered. “But, I think the name game might get a lot more interesting.”
Brad laughed. “They could just name him…”
“After you?” Rebecca guessed. She shook her head and moved to sit in his lap. “They could,” she agreed. “According to Tess, Bee has a penchant for names with a canine flair.”
“What does that mean?” he wondered.
“Let’s just say I don’t know many dogs named Brad,” Rebecca commented.
“What about Tess?” Brad asked.
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Well, unless I flunked remedial English, I don’t think Bradley begins with the letter D.”
“Huh,” Brad huffed.
“It’s okay,” Rebecca consoled him. “Maybe they’ll go with Daisy or Dallas and compromise.”
“Dallas Sinclair? All I can picture is a porn….”
Rebecca covered his mouth with her hand. “Don’t even say it.”
Brad laughed. “How did we ever come up with Brooke?” he asked.
“We didn’t—you did.”
“I did?”
Rebecca shook her head. Brad remembered every detail of Brooke’s beginnings. He and Rebecca had shared their first kiss beside a brook that ran behind the hospital where Brad was finishing his residency. When Rebecca found out she was pregnant, he had immediately suggested they name their daughter Brook. Rebecca agreed only if they used the spelling with an E.
“Umm. Nice try, tough guy. Out of curiosity, what do you think the baby will be?” she asked him. He grinned. “So, you do think you know?” she challenged him.
“I have a guess,” he said.
“Care to share?”
“No, not unless I get to choose the name again.”
Rebecca swatted him. “Were you always this difficult?”
“Yes,” he replied honestly.
Rebecca laughed and placed a kiss on his lips. “Hard to believe, isn’t it?”
“What’s that?”
“Our baby, having a baby,” she said.
“A little,” he confessed. “She’s a good mother.”
“Yes, she is,” Rebecca agreed.
“Lucky kid, Dallas or Daisy. We should all have two parents like that.”
Rebecca nodded, detecting the note of sorrow in his voice. “True. I think we did okay,” she told him.
“You did a lot better than okay,” he said regretfully.
“You need to forgive yourself, Brad,” Rebecca said. “For thinking you failed her somehow. You didn’t. Brooke doesn’t feel tha
t way, and neither do I.”
“I wasn’t there, Becky.”
“You were. Maybe not like I was, but you were. And, you are now. That matters more than you seem to realize,” she said. Brad’s unconvincing smile tore at her. “I love you; you know? I always have. That’s nothing new. So does Brooke. Maybe having you here now to spend time with her family is the best gift you can give her. Maybe it’s the best we can do for both of them.”
Brad nodded. “Do you think Mary and Chris will…”
“I don’t know,” Rebecca replied. “I hope they come when the baby comes, but only if Mary can greet that with genuine excitement. Anything else will devastate Tess,” she said.
“I guess I don’t understand. Don’t get me wrong, we both know I always pictured Brooke…”
“As a surgeon married to a handsome, educated man, with two perfect children,” Rebecca finished the thought.
“Something like that.”
“Well, she’s a doctor married to a beautiful, intelligent woman with two great kids. To me, this is like the cherry on top of the sundae,” Rebecca said honestly. “She’s happy, not every day, but she is, Brad… Brooke is happy.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s what I don’t understand. What I thought or didn’t think doesn’t matter. Seeing her loving her life… I can’t figure out why Mary can’t see that in Tess.”
“Maybe she does, and that is what makes it even harder.”
“Come again?” he asked.
Rebecca sighed. “Well, something Mary has always believed would cause misery for Dani and Davey, even for Tess has turned out to be the best thing for all of them. Things she thought Tess could never have. Tess had in spades. I think it makes her unsettled,” Rebecca explained. “I can’t pretend to understand it. I can’t think of a force in creation that would keep me away from those kids—any of them.”
“Hence the reason a retired doctor and a semi-retired professor just closed on a four-bedroom house with a backyard that will take both their retirement savings to maintain.”
Rebecca laughed. “Did you always exaggerate this much?”
“Yes.”
“So, all those mind-boggling stories of how you stepped in to solve the jigsaw puzzles no one else could—all those years in the O.R.—that was all exaggerated then?”
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