by Addison Cole
Bella spread her towel out on the metal seat and lay horizontally, dangling her toes in the water. Her arms fell limply to her sides, and she closed her eyes. It had been a perfect morning, and now, as the boat moved swiftly through the water, the comfortable silence that had become familiar no longer surprised her.
From behind closed lids, a shadow darkened the sky and the air cooled as, Bella assumed, they passed beneath the bridge. When her closed lids were struck by the blazing sun again, she knew they’d passed through to the other side. The lake was large, and in all the years Bella had been going there, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen people go beyond the bridge. She kept her eyes closed and listened for sounds of others. She liked drifting along without knowing exactly where she was, letting Caden make the decisions of where they were headed. She trusted him, and that thought nestled into her heart like a bear bedding down for a long, cold winter.
She heard the sweeping of the oars in the water cease and felt the boat drifting slower. She heard Caden sigh. He sounded as relaxed as she felt, and she wondered what he was doing, but the moment was so blissfully peaceful that she didn’t dare open her eyes. The boat rocked, and she sensed Caden’s closeness before she felt his mouth on hers. She opened her lips and welcomed his warm, loving kiss. Keeping her eyes closed, she relished in the anticipation of not knowing what might come next. He kissed her like he was making love to her mouth, and her mind drifted far, far away.
“No one’s around. I promise.”
She trusted him completely. The risk heightened the excitement, and she hoped he was feeling the same thrill as she was. She reached for him, eyes still closed, and felt his hip, then followed the line of it to his firm butt.
He whispered against her lips. “I swear I love more about you than your body. I really do.”
He kissed her softly, and she tried to deepen the kiss, but he drew back, teasing her once again. Every sensation magnified with each hot breath as he whispered against her ear, “But I want to make love to you.”
She fisted her hand in the fabric of his shorts and licked her lips.
“You know that drives me crazy.” He kissed her again, and she opened her mouth wider, trying to take more of him.
His hands gripped her hips and held on tight as he brought his mouth down to her belly. “I love how you tremble when I touch you.”
Tremble. Touch. More.
His hands left a hot trail as they slid up. He nibbled the edge of her jaw, bringing her nerves to the surface of her skin. She sensed his face over hers, and forced her eyes open.
His gaze slid to the water, and the edge of his lips curved up. “Up for a swim?”
Yes! Her mouth still wasn’t working. He sank to his knees beside her and drew her close.
“I don’t have a condom,” he whispered.
Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he could feel it. She forced herself to speak. “I really am on the pill. I’m not a college girl just looking for sex, or someone who forgets to take the pill religiously and willing to risk a pregnancy.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “I know, Bella.”
She quieted, letting him make the decision. She wanted to be close to him, to be with him in every sense, and as he contemplated the situation, she was hit with a thought so powerful that it drew her back. She could see herself having a child with him.
“I haven’t risked this since Caty.” He pressed his hands to her cheeks and gazed into her eyes with the most serious look she’d ever seen on him. Her pulse quickened from the uncertainty of what it meant. His jaw clenched, and his eyebrows drew together. His eyes swept over the empty lake. They were alone, so very alone. It felt like they were the only people on earth.
“We don’t have to…” she offered.
“I want to, Bella. I want you. I want you in every way possible.” He kissed her then, and she couldn’t hold back any longer.
She grasped at his shoulder, his back, his hair, whatever she could reach.
“Water.” A command. Another desirous thrill.
He stepped over the side and reached for her. “Come to me, baby.”
She leaned toward him, and in one swift move, he had her in his arms, the cool water warmed in seconds. He sealed his mouth to hers and kissed her like he needed her in order to breathe. His powerful legs kept them afloat. He tore his lips from hers, breathing hard.
“Caden.” She paused to catch her breath. I love you. “I…I’ve never done this before. You’re my first outside lover.”
“I hope to be your last.”
Chapter Thirteen
AFTER SPENDING THE afternoon lying on the boat, then dozing beneath the warm sun, Caden thought the urge to tell Bella he loved her might have subsided, or at least lessened to a nag rather than a continuous, all-consuming need he could barely contain. Boy, had he been wrong. He fought the urge to share his feelings with every breath he took. After they arrived back at her cottage, Caden wanted to savor their last moments alone. He still felt a tether of guilt over those thoughts because of Evan, but all it took was one look at the love in Bella’s eyes for him to push that guilt aside and bring her hand to his lips.
“Sorry I introduced you into a world of debauchery?” Bella’s cheeks pinked up against the tawny glow of her fresh tan.
“Hardly a world of debauchery, and that was my idea, remember?” He leaned across the center console and touched her cheek. “Wait right there.” He stepped from the truck and opened her door. Bella shifted in her seat, placing her legs on either side of him. Caden folded her into his arms and breathed in the coconut scent of her suntan lotion.
“Mm,” she murmured. “Quite possibly the best Saturday ever.”
He drew back and gazed into her eyes. He knew committing to seeing him was a big step for Bella, and heck, it was a big step for him, too. He thought about her as much as he thought of Evan, and he couldn’t deny that he cared about her as much, too. But would he scare her off if he admitted it to her? All afternoon he’d tried to gauge her feelings for him, and he thought they were definitely on the same page, but what did he know? He hadn’t allowed anyone into his heart for years.
“If you keep looking at me like that, you’re going to make me worry,” Bella said. “You look like you’re debating breaking up with me.”
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Just the opposite.”
She drew her brows together.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” His feelings didn’t tumble or jump from his lips. They came easily, softly spoken and smooth as silk. They were true, so stinkin’ true.
In the space of a breath, Bella’s eyes widened and her lips curved into a smile. Then her eyes narrowed and she hooked her finger into the waist of his bathing suit. Her lips parted—every second felt like a lifetime as he waited for a response that he could understand.
“Caden,” she whispered. Her eyes searched his and her mouth opened, as if she were going to say more; then she trapped her lower lip between her teeth.
He brushed her hair from her shoulder. “I can’t help it, babe.” His voice refused to speak louder than a whisper, and in this intimate unveiling of his heart, a whisper was all that was needed. She rested her forehead against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. Caden stroked her hair, wishing she’d say more—and wondering if he’d made a mistake by saying as much as he had.
Bella lifted her head at the sound of Vera’s violin. He repressed the heartache brewing inside of him in an effort to give Bella whatever space she needed to digest his words. When she finally looked up at him again, he still couldn’t read her thoughts.
It took every iota of his strength to step back and give her physical space as well as emotional room to think.
“I guess I’d better get Evan.”
“Caden.” She reached for his hand and drew him close again. “I feel it, too, but I’m scared. What if I don’t get a job here? What if my house doesn’t sell? My real estate agent
left a message and I haven’t checked it yet. What if I have to move back to Connecticut because it doesn’t sell?”
He knew her well enough to sense that what she was really worried about wasn’t any of those things. He also knew her well enough to know that she might not want to admit the truth, but he had to try to get her to open up to him. At least to the idea of them.
“What if I lie to you?” he whispered. “What if I hurt you? Isn’t that what you really mean?”
She shifted her eyes away.
“Bella, I understand. Take all the time you need. Take years if you need it. One day you’ll see who I am and understand that I don’t take commitments lightly.”
“I know that.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “I feel the same way you do. When I’m with you, everything feels right.” She pressed her lips together and her eyes grew serious. “Know what scares me the most? When I’m with you, I let myself be vulnerable, and if you know me, you know I’m anything but vulnerable.”
“Bella…”
“Let me finish, because this is hard to admit out loud. If any other man had said they wanted to put locks on my doors and windows, I’d have sent them away. If they showed up at the beach when I was there with my friends just to make sure I was okay, I’d have thought they were too possessive and found excuses to distance myself from them. If they—”
Caden ran his hand through his hair and blew out a loud breath. “So, basically you’re saying that I’ve done everything wrong.”
“No,” she said quietly. “You’ve done everything right, Caden, and for the first time in my life, I’ve allowed myself to let someone do those things.”
“Okay, now you’re confusing me. So that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, that’s a bad thing.” She held her hands up as if she were making total sense, and for the life of him, Caden had no clue why. Nothing she was saying made any sense to him. “Don’t you see?” she pleaded.
“Treat me like a student and walk me through it, because honestly, no. I’m completely at a loss. Isn’t it good that you feel comfortable enough with me to allow me to do those things?”
“Yes. It’s a good thing, but it’s like standing on a street corner naked and waiting for the guy you’re dating to drive by—and every time he does, you wonder if he’s going to throw tomatoes or whistle.”
She nodded again, as if she were making sense. She probably was, but not in man-speak.
“Come again?”
“Ugh! Okay. Listen carefully. This morning I noticed that there was a loose board on my deck, and my first thought was, Oh, Caden can fix that for me.”
“Sure. I’m happy to.” He never considered himself a complete novice in the world of women, but now he was having his doubts.
“That’s just it. I know you will, and before you, I’d have thought, Let me get my hammer.” She held her palms up again. “See the issue? With you I let myself be a…a…”
“Girlfriend?”
“A girl.”
He couldn’t stifle a laugh. “Sorry, but uh, if you weren’t a girl, then you and I would definitely never happen.”
“Tsk.” She playfully pushed his chest and smiled. “A weak girly girl. I left that girl behind in high school, and I worked really hard to become a woman who could be completely self-sufficient. But I’m so comfortable with you that I let you do things I can—and should—do myself.”
He did the only thing he could do. He wrapped her in his arms.
“Bella, Bella, Bella. It’s okay to be a girly girl. In fact, I love your strong, efficient side as much as your girly girl side. What’s the worst that happens? You let me do a few things you can do on your own, and in return I let you lead me down a path of allowing myself to have a life separate from my son?”
“Yes.” She smiled up at him. “That’s exactly it. Then if you hurt me, I have to get used to doing all those things again.”
“And if you break up with me? I’d have had a taste of life with you, and after being with you, there’s no going back. So we’re in the same boat.” He kissed her lips and felt her smile. “This would have been a lot easier if you’d just said that you feel the same way but you’re afraid of becoming too reliant on me.”
She jumped from the truck. “That’s what I did say.”
Caden shook his head to try to clear his confusion.
“Just to be sure I understand. You are falling for me? And it’s okay if I do things for you and treat you like a girly girl sometimes? Or should I not fix the deck and bring you flowers?”
She grabbed her tote from the back of the truck and swung it over her shoulder. “Falling for you, check. Bring me flowers, check. Fix my deck?” She went up on tiptoes and kissed the dimple in his chin. “You’re the first guy who picked up on my love of pink. You can fix my stupid deck as long as you know I’m completely capable of doing it myself.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a challenge?” He took the tote from her arm and carried it to the deck.
“No,” she said as she unlocked the door. “They usually call me a pain in the butt.”
“Well, there is that, but a welcome pain with a fine butt.”
Chapter Fourteen
BELLA MADE PASTA salad and brownies to bring to Caden’s for dinner, and when violin music weaved its way into her window, she decided to bring a few brownies to Jamie and Vera for being so nice to Evan. She found them on their deck. Jamie had a cocktail in one hand, and his other hand tapped a beat on the glass table. Vera smiled and continued playing.
“I thought I smelled something delicious. I figured Leanna was baking,” Jamie said. He pulled out a chair for Bella.
“I only have a sec. I’m on my way to Caden’s for dinner, but I wanted to bring these by and say thank you for letting Evan hang out with you.” She set the plate on the table.
Jamie looked relaxed in a pair of shorts and a loose cotton shirt. He didn’t shave on the weekends because, It makes me feel like I’m really on vacation.
“He’s an interesting kid. He’s smart as a whip, but I get the feeling he’s struggling a little,” Jamie said.
Bella heard what he said through teacher’s ears and lowered herself into the chair. She knew that it was often outsiders—teachers, coaches, neighbors—who picked up on issues with teenagers before their parents did.
“Caden said he’s going through a teenage phase. I hope he wasn’t rude to you or Vera.”
Vera stopped playing and laid the violin in her lap.
“That was beautiful, Vera,” Bella said.
“Thank you, dear.” Vera turned her attention to Jamie. “I wonder, Jamie, what did you see with Evan? He seems like a very pleasant young man, and he’s shown quite an interest in what you are teaching him. He seems to enjoy listening to me play as well.”
“He is a really nice kid. He just seemed distracted today. He was texting a lot more than he did last time, and I could see that he was struggling to give me his full attention.” Jamie sipped his drink. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No. I’m okay, thanks. I think most teenagers feel like they need to be plugged in twenty-four seven or they’ll miss something. And he’s just made new friends, so that might be part of it. I’ll have Caden talk to him. I don’t want him to be rude to you.” She made a mental note to speak to Caden about Evan’s phone etiquette.
“No, you don’t need to do that. I actually really enjoy teaching him. Last winter a buddy and I taught a workshop to a dozen or so teenagers. Even when Evan’s not fully tuned in, he’s more engaged than most kids when they’re paying full attention, and he’s respectful, which I appreciate. Especially with Gram.”
Vera patted his hand.
“Are you coming into town to go fishing with us, or do you have to work?” Bella asked.
“We’re both going,” Jamie answered. “I took off work to go. I can’t miss out on all the fun.”
“This will be like old times,” Bella said. “With the addition of Kurt, Caden,
and Evan. I guess we’ll need a bigger boat.”
“Don’t forget Pete. Jenna said he’s coming, too.” Jamie nodded with a grin that said, She might just reel him in after all.
“Should be a great time.”
“I feel so blessed to see each of you grow up,” Vera said. She patted Jamie’s hand again. “If only we could find a nice woman for Jamie to settle down with.”
“Gram, please. I think I can find my own woman.” He smiled at Vera.
“I’d like to attend your wedding before my old heart decides to retire,” Vera said.
“You’ll live for another fifteen years, which gives me plenty of time,” Jamie assured her.
“Don’t worry, Vera.” Bella rose to her feet and placed her hands on Jamie’s shoulders. “Look at how cute this guy is. He’s smart, sweet, and he likes kids. If worse comes to worst, you and I will set up an online dating profile and you can handpick his woman.”
Jamie covered Bella’s hands with his and looked up at her. “Paybacks are torture. Just keep that in mind.”
Bella ruffled his hair. “I’ll remember that. Have you guys seen Amy? I wanted to tell her something. Her car’s here, but I can’t find her anywhere.”
“She and Tony went into town to get stuff for a barbeque.” Jamie wrinkled his brow. “Want me to tell her whatever it is?”
“Nah. I’ll catch her when I get back tonight. Thanks.”
An hour later, Bella was sitting with Caden and Evan eating dinner on their back deck. The yard was lined with pitch pine trees, and the deck ran the length of the house. It was quiet, save for the music filtering through the screened doors that led to the living room. A cool breeze swept across Bella’s toes. She’d worn jeans and a hoodie in anticipation of the cool evening, but she fought the idea of wearing close-toed shoes in the summer.
“This was delicious, Caden. Thank you for cooking.” He’d made a shrimp and rice dish that, like him, was just the right amount of spicy and sweet.
“Dad’s a pretty good cook.” Evan didn’t look up from the text message he was typing on his phone.