by Addison Cole
She hoped Evan might reveal his reasons for leaving, and again it was torture having to refrain from asking. She was so used to saying what she felt that it took extra effort to navigate this touch-and-go conversation. She wasn’t Evan’s friend or his teacher. She was his father’s girlfriend, and her heart was tied to both Caden and Evan. She didn’t want to make a mistake that might alienate her from Evan, or make him uncomfortable, but her gut told her not to completely ignore what she’d noticed, either.
They picked up their food and decided to sit on the knee-high wall at the edge of the parking lot by the marina, with their trays balanced on their knees.
“Are you excited to start school in the fall?”
“Sort of, I guess.” He took a bite of his burger. “I’m looking forward to the technology club more than school. School kinda bites.” He smiled. “Crap, you’re a teacher. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Hopefully, I’ll be teaching again.”
“What do you mean hopefully? I thought you were teaching?”
“I was a teacher in Connecticut, but the program I’m putting together has to be accepted before I can get a full-time job here.”
“In Connecticut? I thought you lived here.” Evan set his burger on the tray. “You don’t live here?”
“It’s a little complicated. If the work-study program is accepted, I’ll probably move here full-time.”
Evan’s voice grew serious. “So, if the program isn’t accepted, will you go back to Connecticut?”
Bella shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. I do have a job offer there, but there’s a lot to consider.” Like where your dad and I are heading.
“But…” He turned away. The wind whipped his hair away from his face. He looked at Bella, and she couldn’t miss the concern in his eyes. “Does Dad know you might move back to Connecticut?”
“Sure. He knows it’s a possibility.” They hadn’t discussed it in very much detail, but they’d touched on it as a possibility. Against her plan, and against what she’d promised herself, she couldn’t deny that the idea of leaving Caden made her stomach hurt.
Evan shook his head. “So you might move away?”
“Well, I hope not, but it’s a possibility, I guess.”
He got up and carried his tray back to the restaurant. She followed, and after they returned their trays, she tried to get his mind onto something else.
“Do you want to walk the pier?” she asked.
“Nah. Can you take me home?” He shoved his hands in his swimsuit pockets.
“Sure, but, Evan, I don’t want you to think that I’m moving. At least that’s not my plan.” My plan. Meeting Caden hadn’t been part of her plan either, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
“If there’s one thing I learned this year, it’s that life doesn’t always go by what we have planned.” He stalked into the parking lot.
Bella couldn’t have agreed more.
WHEN CADEN’S SHIFT ended, he checked in with Evan and then stopped by Bella’s. She and Amy were sitting by the pool even though it was dusk. Bella’s laughter filled the air. He loved her laugh, whether she was laughing raucously at a joke or flirtatiously against his neck when they were intimate. Both made him warm all over. The gate to the pool creaked as he pulled it open, drawing Bella’s attention. Her smile lit up her eyes, and when she jumped up to greet him, he knew he looked just as happy. He waved to Amy, and after waving back, she crossed her arms on the table and rested her head on them.
Bella fell into his arms and lifted her eyes to his. Man, had he missed her.
“Hey,” she said in a soft voice.
“Hey yourself.” He pressed his lips to hers. “Is Amy okay?”
“Yeah. Just nursing a terrible hangover. Luckily, she has no memory of Tony being there when she threw up, so at least she’s not embarrassed on top of it.”
“A hangover? Ouch. I’m sorry.” He glanced at Amy and wondered how different it must be for Bella when she was in Connecticut. Did she have friends she was close to there, too? “Thanks for taking Evan out today. He said he had a great time.”
“Yeah, we did. Did he say anything about practically running off the beach to avoid seeing his friends?”
“No.” Caden thought about Evan’s recent snappy and sullen behavior. “He probably didn’t want them to see him with you. You know, the whole teenage independence thing. I have tomorrow off, and I asked him if he wanted to go to that go-cart and batting cage place in South Yarmouth. When we first moved here, he loved it. But he had no interest in that either.”
“I hope you’re right, but maybe you can find a way to talk about it without telling him that I mentioned it? He seemed a little stressed.”
“Okay, I will.” She felt so good in his arms, and she smelled like the ocean. He wanted to spend the evening with her. They could go for a walk, then watch a movie, rub each other’s feet, or read on the couch. He didn’t care what they did. He only knew that nothing felt right without her by his side.
“I was hoping we could go for a walk or something, but it looks like Amy needs you, so can I call you later?”
Bella glanced over her shoulder at Amy. “I’m sorry. Thank you for understanding. It isn’t often that she needs me, but she’s feeling a little down today. She never drinks—well, none of us do, really, except when we’re here on vacation, but Amy is a super lightweight. She’s, like, pixie light, and she drank like she was a heavyweight.”
“Don’t be sorry.” When they kissed again, it was painful to break away. “I hate not being with you every night. It feels like you should always be right there with me.”
“I feel that way, too.” She glanced at Amy. “You could stay if you want.”
“That’s okay. Enjoy your time with Amy. You don’t get much of it when you’re apart for nine months out of the year. Besides, I had Evan time the other night; you should have girl time.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “Babe, I’d do anything for you. Since I’m off work tomorrow, do you want to do something?” He could spend every minute with Bella and it wouldn’t be enough.
Her lips curved down in an adorable frown, but the ache it caused wasn’t cute at all.
“I have meetings scheduled with a few companies, but afterward, definitely.”
“Definitely.” He pulled her close again. “Call me when you’re done and we’ll figure it out.” He looked back at his truck, knowing he should leave, but every part of him wanted to stay. He forced himself to take a step back, but he kept hold of her hand. Even the short distance between them felt too far apart.
She smiled up at him and pressed her other hand to his abs. “Why does it get harder and harder to say goodbye?”
“I think it’s what happens when you fall for someone.” Forget falling. I think I’ve base jumped. “I’ll call you before I go to sleep later, but, babe, good-night phone calls aren’t enough.”
“I know.”
“But for Evan’s sake, it has to be for now.”
“I know that, too.”
Chapter Eighteen
BELLA WAS STILL thinking about last night’s good-night phone call with Caden when she parked in front of the office of The Geeky Guys (TGG) Monday morning. She loved that he called to say good night each night before he went to sleep. She slept better having his voice as the last she heard before her head hit the pillow, but last night she’d wanted to crawl through her cell phone and climb into his arms. Although neither had crossed the invisible line of saying I love you, their feelings hung in every word. She’d never forget the longing in his voice when he’d said, I can’t wait to fall asleep after making love to you and wake up with you in my arms. She wondered if that was what Vera had alluded to when she’d asked if Bella minded that Caden had a son. There were challenges when dating a man with a child, like not spending the night together and worrying about someone other than themselves at all times. She missed Caden at night, a
nd she woke up in a bed that never used to feel empty, longing for him to be there with her, but she didn’t begrudge Caden for having Evan. She was falling for Evan as quickly as she was falling for Caden.
She liked Evan, whether or not he was going through a tough time. There wasn’t a teenager on earth who didn’t go through trying times. She could tell by the way Evan handled himself around other adults that he would come out on the other side as a good man. He’d been raised by Caden, after all. Bella also knew that when he acted out around Caden, he did so because he felt safe doing it with his dad. Evan knew that Caden loved him unconditionally. No one could behave all the time, and if a child couldn’t act out occasionally in front of those who loved them unconditionally, then where could they?
Bella took a deep breath and tried to push away thoughts about her personal life and mentally prepare herself for gaining TGG for the work-study program. Getting her professional life in order had to be her primary focus. Especially if I hope to stay here with Caden. Stop it. I’m making my career decisions separate from him!
Yeah, right.
Okay, she was trying to.
TGG was the only computer shop within twenty miles of Wellfleet. They handled computer repair, designed websites, and a multitude of other computer-related services. Jamie had suggested that she try them, and as she walked into the one-room office, she wondered if they’d be able to afford to hire anyone at all.
Five sets of eyes turned toward Bella when she stepped inside. Six desks were paired off, facing one another in the center of the room. The walls were lined with deep metal shelves, littered with CPUs, monitors, electronic gadgets, and other digital paraphernalia.
A twentysomething guy with black framed glasses and jet-black hair cropped short on the sides and spiky up on top rolled his chair a few feet back from his desk.
“Hi. Can I help you?”
“Hi, I’m Bella Abbascia. I’ve got an appointment with Frank Kohler.”
The guy peered around his computer monitor at the man sitting behind the desk across from him. “Frank, you’re up.”
Frank had one hand on his forehead as he peered at his monitor with his thick blond brows drawn together. He held up one finger. “One sec, Bell.”
Bell? While she waited, she quickly assessed the office. Four men, one woman, and one unoccupied desk. The employees appeared to be in their midtwenties and early thirties, dressed casually in shorts or jeans, and as far as Bella could tell, not at all bothered by the fact that she was standing there.
“Holy hell.” Frank smacked the desk.
“Frank.” The skinny blond girl who was sitting closest to Bella chided him. She smiled and Bella realized that she was probably closer to twenty than midtwenties. “He’s been crunching that program for hours.”
“That’s okay.” She made a mental note to address foul language if by some miracle they were able to hire any of the students.
Frank rose to his feet, his fingers flying across the keyboard. “Just one sec, Bell. I’ll be right there.”
She wondered if he’d misunderstood her name. A few minutes later he waved her over and pulled a chair from the unoccupied desk.
“I’m Frank.” His handshake was firm, but his hand was soft. Based on that and his pale skin, Bella doubted he spent much time away from his computer. He was just a few inches taller than her, with short blond hair and blue eyes that held the excitement of whatever issue he’d just solved. “Sit down. Talk to me.”
“Congrats on whatever you’ve just accomplished,” she said to break the ice.
“Thanks. I’ve been trying to crack that algorithm for days, not hours.” He shot a look at the blond girl, who rolled her eyes. “Stace doesn’t work on the weekends like I do. Anyway, tell me about your work-study program.”
Stace. She assumed that was short for Stacy, and that Frank was one of those guys who didn’t need friendship or an invitation to shorten someone’s name. Bella explained the goals of the program and what type of commitment was required from each company that signed on.
Frank leaned back in his chair and called to the guy sitting behind the desk to his right, “Sam? Whaddaya think?”
Sam, a dark-haired, clean-cut guy, was poring over a manual of some sort. “Sounds good if they’re not morons.”
Frank shrugged. “Not exactly a politically correct answer, but he’s pretty much right. Anyone we hired would need to be familiar with computers on some level. I’m all for on-the-job training, but they’ve gotta have the basics. You know, understand what batch files are, have some HTML knowledge. Any kid who has a real interest in computers will know those things, and experience with Python, Java, or Ruby is a big plus.”
“Python? My friend’s son is learning that now.”
“Is that the kid Jamie Reed is teaching? He said something about helping a kid learn Python when he told me about the program. We’d love to help someone that motivated.”
She was surprised Jamie had mentioned Evan. “He’s not a senior, so he’s not eligible for this program, but if you’re interested, I’m sure Evan would love to shadow you. He was in the technology club in Boston and he’s just recently moved to Wellfleet.”
“Sure. Why don’t you give Evan my number and we’ll see where it goes with him.”
“I’ll do that.” She could barely contain her excitement for Evan.
“How about an application that asks about the basic computer stuff? Any kid can go to Codeacademy online, and if they’re really driven, they can learn the things we need on their own.” Stace walked around the desks and put a hand on Frank’s shoulder. “My big brother’s quite a mentor.”
“You’re siblings?” She ran her eyes between them.
“Yeah.” The girl held out her hand. “Stacia Kohler. I go to UMass. I’m only here for the summer, but I’d be happy to work with you to outline the basic requirements if Frank says it’s a go.”
“It’s a go,” Sam said over his shoulder.
“Well, I need to know who has signing authority for TGG, because we’ll require legally binding signatures for the contract.”
Both Sam and Stacia pointed to Frank.
“Sure. If you can work with Stace to develop a general list of requirements, we can try this out. I assume it’s a set number of hours each week at minimum wage.” Frank glanced around the desk at the guy with black hair. “Mark, can you put together some type of—” He turned his attention back to Bella. “Is this by school year or by semester?”
“School year.”
He turned back to Mark. “A nine-month guideline of expectations, things we can teach them, that sort of thing?”
“Sure.” Mark looked up at Stacia. “Stacia can help me this weekend.” He smiled in a way that made Stacia blush.
Stacia put her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. “Okay, but I’m still not going out with you.” She turned her attention back to Bella. “Stop by my desk when you’re done with Frank and we’ll pencil in a date to go over things.”
Bella went over the documentation with Frank and set up a time to discuss modifications to the application with Stacia. By the time she left the office, she had also received recommendations from Stacia for a bakery and a CPA office that might be interested in becoming part of the program.
When she got in her car, Bella picked up her cell phone to call Caden and saw that she’d missed two calls from Kelsey Trailer, her old boss. She hadn’t spoken to Kelsey since she left for the summer. Kelsey had extended an offer for Bella to return to her old job. She refused to believe that Bella really wanted a change. Who wouldn’t? Bella was as stable as the day was long. She arrived early for work every day, missing only two days out of the last two years, and she stayed until her work was complete each afternoon. Bella had been good at hiding her secret hankering for something more fulfilling—in fact, she wasn’t sure she really believed she’d ever make the change. Until last spring, when it all clicked.
Bella knew Kelsey wanted an answer that Bella
wasn’t ready to give. She called her back before calling Caden.
“Bella, how’s summer in Wellfleet?” Kelsey asked.
She pictured Kelsey behind her desk, her blond corkscrew curls framing her face, wire-rimmed glasses firmly balanced on the bridge of her nose, and a warm, hopeful smile on her thin lips.
“It’s beautiful, as always.” There was no doubt in Bella’s mind. She wanted to be at the Cape, and she realized, she was proud to have made that decision before meeting Caden. Since she had no offer for permanent work here yet, she needed to keep the door to her old job open, even as a last resort.
“I’m just going to cut to the chase here, Bella. Jay quit, so there’s no reason for you to quit. There was no reason before, but I understand why you wanted to get away from seeing him every day. So, what do you say?”
Bella digested the new information. “He quit?” For a split second she wondered why he’d quit, but she quickly realized that she didn’t really care. She still wasn’t keen on the idea of going back to work in Connecticut or to a school where she’d dated a coworker, even if he was no longer there. She was excited about the prospect of the work-study program—and then there were Caden and Evan. The truth was, she couldn’t imagine not being with them. She closed her eyes for a beat to get ahold of her emotions. Separate mind and heart. Separate mind and heart.
Nope. Didn’t work. They were tied together in a knot only an experienced boatman would be able to disassemble.
“Yes. He gave his notice last week, and I waited to call in case it was a momentary lapse in judgment. But he’s serious. So does the offer look any better to you now?”
“I…Kelsey, I need to think about it.” Five years she’d worked there, and in those five years she’d made close friends, and she’d bonded with families and students. She had a life there that was comfortable and safe.
I have a boyfriend here who holds my heart in his comfortable, safe, reliable, strong, sexy, loving hands. Yeah, great separation there, Bella.