by Wendy Knight
Again with the ice through my veins. "But she—she doesn't."
Josh smirked—apparently he could hear the blind desperation in my voice as well as I could. We both turned toward her, me with panicked eyes that I wanted to hate myself for but didn't, and Josh with critical, appraising eyes that had no trace of panic at all. Did he not realize what was on the line here?
"Well, she does seem like she moves away from him every chance she gets." Josh nodded. "Maybe she really doesn't like him. If that's the case, and you think you might want another shot with her, you should get her away from him, huh?"
Yeah. That would be nice. But I had no idea how to do that without starting some Navi tug-of-war in the middle of the party. And she, apparently, hadn't realized that she was still in love with me.
But she had to be, right? I couldn't feel like this alone. It had to be a two-way thing. Because otherwise, I was lost. Completely, devastatingly lost.
CHAPTER SIX
Navi
Singing karaoke with a bunch of drunk people usually ends up with rounds of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat", and this night wasn't any different. My abs got the best workout I'd had in weeks from laughing so hard. It was nearly three a.m. when everyone finally started heading out. Konstanz had left with some guy to get ice cream an hour ago, mostly to get out of singing, I think. Terrie was still passed out. "Reese, you ready? We gotta get Terrie back home in one piece." I yawned. I'd slept for three whole hours yesterday morning.
"Yep. At least there's two of us to carry her in. She's not exactly a light girl." Reese scanned the room hopefully, like a hand truck might pop out of the molding and offer to help us. Bryson had his hand on my waist, like I was his.
Alec sat on the couch by my leg, arms crossed over his chest. But when Reese spoke, he sat up. "I'll follow you home and carry her in for you."
"You don't need to do that, Alec. It's my party. I'll go home with them." Bryson tugged me closer, his arm circling my entire waist now, my back against his chest.
"You've been drinking. Sorry, bro. You're not driving." Alec stood, towering over both of us. I'd forgotten, in all my imaginings, how tall he was. I was strong enough to carry Reese in without either boy, at least until the sun came up, but not if there was anyone around to see me. And if we didn't wrap this up soon, I wouldn't be strong enough to carry even myself in.
"I can ride with them. Maybe Navi can drop me back home on her way to work in the morning." He looked at me hopefully but Alec shook his head.
"She works nights." I supposed Alec remembered that my mom had worked nights and that's where he got his information, but it still took me by surprise that he remembered.
"Well. While they fight it out, come help me drag her to the car." Reese stormed off, clearly annoyed. I hid a smile and went after her, Bryson and Alec arguing behind me.
"Navi, can you give me a ride home in the morning?" Bryson came in after us, flipping Alec's bedroom light on. I got my first real view of the room. It was plain, except for a few framed pictures on the window sill of a kid. My feet froze to the floor in confusion. Was it Alec's son? I knew he'd had several girlfriends since we'd broken up. We were both twenty-two. He could easily have a kid or even two. Still, the thought hurt. A lot.
"Yeah, sure Bryson. I can bring you back home." My voice sounded stiff in my own ears and Reese looked over at me, raising one perfectly arched eyebrow.
"She's tired, Bryson. There's no reason for her to have to drive you home. I'll just follow them and drive myself back." Alec sounded annoyed, but I couldn't tear my eyes off the kid in the picture.
Bryson started to argue, but Reese, thankfully, cut him off. "Seriously, you're just making more work for her and she's exhausted. If you're trying to look good, you're failing miserably. Alec, get your keys."
Alec reached for the basket on his night stand and grabbed his keys. "Yes ma'am." He scooped Terrie up, and Reese threw her jacket over Terrie's legs, trying to give her some semblance of modesty. They both left and I went to follow them, but Bryson tugged me back, sliding his arms around my waist, turning me so I faced him and also, conveniently, had a perfect view of the two framed pictures. The kid was cute, there was no denying it. Bright eyes, big smile. "I had fun tonight."
I tore my eyes away from the pictures and tried to focus. "Yeah, me too. Thanks for inviting us. Karaoke is fun."
His hands twined with my fingers and he raised them to his lips as he peered at me over our hands with those ice blue eyes. "I really like you, Navi." I could smell the alcohol on his breath, which distracted me. I did not love alcohol. It slowed my responses. It could be a death sentence, not just for me but for the entire city. I was so caught up thinking about just how catastrophic that could be that I didn't see Bryson leaning in, eyes closed, until it was too late. His lips mashed awkwardly against mine as he pulled me tight against him. I squeaked and my eyes flew open. "Bryson—" Our teeth ground together, "Bryson, stop." I pushed against his chest.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. You're so pretty and I really like you." His hands were roving over my shoulders and down my back. I wriggled away, praying this was a drunken haze he wouldn't remember the next day because holy crap. Awkward. "I know I just met you, but I really think—"
"Navi. You comin'?" Alec literally growled from the front doorway. I leaped away from Bryson, and without my hands holding him up, he toppled forward.
"Oh!" I stooped, tried to catch him before he face-planted—without moving too fast because Alec still stood, arms crossed, in the doorway watching. "Are you okay?"
He mumbled around the carpet in his mouth. His eyes drifted closed and he promptly started snoring. I looked up at Alec in bewilderment. "Does he always get this plastered?"
"I think you make him nervous." Alec didn't move, glaring at his roommate from the door jamb he was apparently holding up.
"So… I'll just drag him to his room by myself then." I stood up, grabbed Bryson's arm and tugged. Hmm. How to do this without showing my freakish strength…
"Trust me, Navi. You go anywhere near his room and you're not coming out of there tonight."
I blew out a breath, pushing my bangs out of my face. "Well would you like to take him in or will you have the same problem with the never coming out again?"
He smirked but didn't move. "Leave him there. He'll find his way to his bed eventually."
I glared at him, reached down to grab Bryson's other arm and tugged, stumbling backward toward his room. Alec watched me for several steps before he left the doorway and came over to help me. "He doesn't deserve this, you know."
I peeked at him through my hair as I tugged. Alec lifted him from the arm pits. "You're not very happy with him, are you?"
"He just attacked you. I'm not thrilled." He didn't look at me as he said it.
My heart tried to climb out of my throat. "You—you care that he attacked me? I mean, he didn't attack me. It was just a kiss. Sort of."
"Did you ask for that kiss, Navi?" He dropped Bryson just inside his bedroom door, pushing his legs in with his foot. He straightened and looked at me. "Did you want Bryson to kiss you?"
"I didn't ask for it, no. But it's not unheard of for someone to want to kiss me, you know."
His eyes darkened as they dipped to my mouth. "No. It's not unheard of at all."
I sucked in a breath through my teeth and straightened my spine. I could not kiss him. And if I fell for him again…
Pain. So much pain.
I brushed past him. "Reese is gonna kill me. She's probably freezing out there."
"I sent Reese home. I told her you could ride with me."
I froze, my back to him. I had to be alone with him. In his truck. The memories in that truck alone would be my undoing. There wasn't enough willpower in the world.
"Navi." His voice, low, right behind me. I could feel his warmth he was so close. "I'm not going to attack you."
"I know." The problem was I wanted him to. So, so much.
"Just tal
k to me. That's all I ask. I missed you."
He missed me. He missed me? I went all the way to Alaska to try to forget him.
He told the entire school you cheated on him. With a bunch of different guys. Remember that, Navi, a strong, fierce voice growled in my head. It sounded like Elizabeth, and I grabbed it, holding tight. Remember the guys that followed you into the bathroom because they thought you were easy. Remember the looks. Remember the whispers and the laughter.
"Yeah. We can be friends. Of course. Ready?" I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder, hurrying toward the door.
"Navi, what happened? Three hours ago you were happy to talk to me. Now you act like I'm no better than him." Alec flung his arm toward Bryson's room and I cringed.
"I'm just tired, Alec. I haven't slept much lately, and the sun is coming up soon."
He glanced out the window, a brief smile lighting his face. "You always hated the sun rise. Most people dread the night, and you dread the dawn." He headed out the door and I imagined the lecture Konstanz was going to give me when we finally made it home. To say she was prone to worry was an understatement. Hopefully, Reese hadn't thrown up in the SUV, or I'd never hear the end of it.
"I came on too strong. I'm sorry."
I glanced at him in surprise. "You don't need to apologize." The air outside bit at my cheeks, distracting me. It hadn't been even a fraction of this cold last night. Where had this chill come from?
"I didn't think it would be like this. When Bryson said you were coming over, I thought it would be awkward. But it felt like I was stepping back in time. Like you never left."
I nodded slowly as he came around to my side of the truck to open the door. "I did expect it to be more uncomfortable. Especially since you nearly ran me over yesterday."
His face lit up. Adorable. He was completely adorable.
I wanted to bury my head in my hands and cry. Or scream. I wasn't quite sure which.
He climbed in, started the truck, and backed out. "I have no idea where you live now."
"Oh. Right. So, not far from here, actually. If you just want to hop on the highway and head south, we're only about ten minutes away."
We rode in silence for one entire song. "I swear this station isn't usually all mushy. It's supposed to be rock." He glanced at me quickly and back at the road. I hadn't even noticed the music until then but yes, it was definitely a love song.
"Your tastes have changed," I teased.
His lip quirked but he didn't respond. I leaned my head back against the seat rest and stared out the window. Luckily, I saw no demons and only a few wandering spirits. That was pretty normal.
"So… are you… are you thinking of going out with him again?"
I rolled my head slowly so I could watch him in the glow of the dashboard lights. A muscle worked in his jaw. I could play games. I should play games. Isn't that how this whole social thing worked? I should tell him that yes, I was going to go out with Bryson. Reese would tell me to make him jealous. But I couldn't figure out why he even cared. Why he'd spent four years pretending I didn't exist, but the first night we hang out… he says he missed me. I was confused. And I'd never been good at games. "I just spent the night talking to you. Not him."
The tense set of his shoulders relaxed. "You spent most of the night singing with him. With his arms around you. He kissed you. I didn't."
"It's different. He and I don't have the history that you and I have. Turn here."
He raised an eyebrow as he signaled to turn left. "You know me better so he gets to kiss you and I don't?"
"You didn't –I didn't know—" Words failed me. "Yes."
"But you don't know me anymore." He sounded positively triumphant. "So I get to kiss you now, right?"
"You're driving," I pointed out like my heart wasn't pounding hard enough to convince me I might need medical attention. "And I don't know. Maybe I do know you."
He pursed his lips. "You think so, huh. What's my favorite color?"
"Dark blue."
He winked, "Close. Navy. Navy blue has been my favorite color since I met you. How many brothers do I have?"
"None."
He grinned, thrilled at my apparently-wrong answer. "No. My mom and dad adopted a little boy right after we broke up. What else?"
I tipped my head to the side, considering him. "You're an electrician. You drive a big, black truck. You apparently like 90s love songs now instead of rock. You have one roommate named Bryson. You've lived in the same city your whole life. Our apartment is right up there."
"Wrong." He was ecstatic.
"What? What's wrong?"
"I moved to Denver for a year to help a friend." He parked by Reese's SUV.
"Took you long enough." Reese growled as I climbed out. "I thought I was gonna freeze to death waiting for you to show up. Konstanz isn't home yet. Big surprise. I always do the heavy lifting around here."
I kissed her temple. "Yes you do. And we love you for it."
Alec pulled Terrie out. At this point none of us even tried to muster enough energy to worry about her skirt. I dug my keys out of my purse and hurried to open the door so Alec didn't have to stand in the cold holding an unconscious girl who may or may not vomit on him at any given time. The blast of warm air felt wonderful after the chill of the night. I got out of the way as Alec came through the door and followed Reese to Terrie's room.
"Nice place." Alec said, smiling as he reemerged sans Reese.
"Thanks. Four girls. One house. Things get interesting." I twisted my hands awkwardly. Did I sit? Would he think I was asking him to stay and he wanted to go home? Or did I stand and hope he realized I wasn't hurrying him off?
"I have work in, like, two hours," he said, pulling his phone out to check the time. He ducked his head, peeking at me through his long lashes. "Can I have your number?"
My heart. It was going to quit on me if he didn't go soon. It was definitely not used to all this action.
"I mean, if it's okay. If it isn't pushing you—"
I didn't mention that he'd just been arguing about whether he could kiss me or not. Instead I took his phone from his hand and sent myself a text. Sneaky little ploy on my part to get his number, too. "There you go." I handed it back to him.
"Thanks." He tucked it in his back pocket. "I—I guess I should go. You need to sleep."
Don't go. Stay with me. "Yeah, and you should sleep while you can."
He pulled me closer, wrapping me in a hug. I could feel his heart through his jacket. It was beating as hard as mine. That made me feel ten thousand gazillion times better. "It was good to see you, Navi."
And he was gone. And our apartment was empty and sad and dark. And I felt like half my soul had gone with him. "Oh dear," I mumbled as I sank to the couch.
"Navi, bed. Now," Reese ordered as she half-stumbled past. I wasn't sure she was even still awake to be ordering me around.
I stood obediently and padded off to get ready for bed, tossing my purse onto my dresser. I was in the middle of spitting toothpaste when I heard my phone buzz. I rinsed my toothbrush and retrieved my phone.
"Glad you came tonight." I smiled as my fingers trembled over the keys. He couldn't be home yet, not unless he drove like a demon.
"Me too."
Seconds later, my phone buzzed again. "You should come back."
"I should?"
He took long enough to respond that I had time to change into my pajamas. I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. When my phone buzzed again, I practically attacked it.
"Yes. Tonight. You should come back tonight."
He had no idea how much I wanted to do just that. "I'm in my batman jammies. In bed. Not attractive."
Five minutes passed and I was almost asleep when he finally wrote back. "I want to see you in batman jammies."
I sucked in a breath. How, exactly, did one respond to that?
"Navi. They come." My scratchy, exhausted eyes flew open to see Elizabeth, standing silently in t
he doorway. Konstanz was still gone and Reese and Terrie were in their own room, but even so it was dangerous for Elizabeth to be here. She could open Reese's eyes to the ghost world. To demons. I threw myself out of bed, leaving my phone in the heap of blankets. Yawning, I felt my swords humming to life on my back as I threw off my batman jammies and grabbed my fighting jeans and my crappy, holey sweatshirt. "I'll meet you outside," I whispered.
Elizabeth nodded and disappeared.
I assumed they would be already fighting at the beach, like last night, but my army waited impatiently outside my door. "They are slow this night," Elizabeth said by way of explanation.
I peered around at my ghosts, mentally trying to tug some energy from the rapidly dimming moon. "What do you mean?" I always felt super smart when I had to ask the dumb questions.
She raised an eyebrow. "We've been watching them fight their way from the doorway to the beach for hours. They have yet to make it, but they are close."
I blinked up at the moon. "If they don't hurry, the sun will rise and they won't get to fight." Get to fight. Like it was a privilege. Smiling to myself, maybe because I was exhausted-loopy-slightly-stupid, I realized that to me, fighting was a privilege. One I enjoyed very much when I wasn't in designer jeans and my favorite boots. "I'll meet you all there." I didn't wait to watch her disappear into the darkness. I took off running, realizing belatedly that I had forgotten to put shoes on. I felt many rocks dig into my feet, but the moon healed me faster than the blood could flow. By the time I reached Devil's Gate, I was fairly positive I had a whole new set of skin on the bottoms of my feet.
I leaped up the rock, much easier to do shoeless, and sat at the top, staring down at the water. Elizabeth joined me, watching silently. The asuwangs were just below the surface, barely visible in the wild waves. I checked the moon, but the sun wouldn't be up for at least three more hours. They had time. I grinned at Elizabeth, who heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Don't think I can't see the excitement under that scowl." I waved my finger in her face and the smile she'd been hiding found its way through. Yes, this was terrifying fighting demons on a regular basis. Yes, we could all die. Facing it with a sense of humor was the only way to not go completely mad. Plus, there's a teensy, tiny little chance that I got a rush from demon killing. I wonder what Alec would think if he knew… I banished the thought immediately. If Alec knew, he'd be in a ton of danger. It wasn't worth it. My secret had to stay my own.