by Wendy Knight
She rolled and shoved herself to her feet. "Yep. Aren't you going to get dressed?"
"I am dressed."
Her eyebrows both shot up and a faint pink tint colored her cheeks. "Oh. I—I didn't even look."
Right.
Bryson's sports car was small, and every time we hit a pothole the bottom scraped, and he had to slow way down for little teeny bumps. I wasn't a sports car girl. I was a truck girl. Or, ya know, a jeep girl, since that's what I drove.
"How was your meeting last night?" he asked, steering carefully over the gravel on the road.
I tried not to wince. "It was good. Lots of new recruits. Exhausting though. I'm not sure I'll be very good company."
"It's okay." Konstanz patted me on the head from her cramped space in the back. "That's what I'm here for."
Bryson smiled at her in the rearview mirror.
"So I guess you stayed home from school, huh?" He glanced at my sweats that didn't have cute words across the butt. I tugged self-consciously on my sweat shirt and shook my head.
"No. No, I went. I haven't been to bed yet." And holy snowballs, bed sounded so good.
"Wow. You must be tired." His face lit up. "Don't worry. I made something amazing for lunch. It'll wake you right up and then we'll go have some fun."
"Don't you work?" I asked without meaning to. Apparently when I was this exhausted, I had no filter.
"Yeah. I took today off."
Of course he did. And I didn't know why. He seemed fine with the whole friend-zone thing, but why on earth would he take the day off to spend it with me and Konstanz?
Boys. They're so confusing.
"I just think I'm going to swear off all men for the rest of eternity," I accidentally muttered out loud.
Umm. Awkward much?
Bryson didn't miss a beat. "I know you think that now." He lowered his voice like he didn't want Konstanz to hear, but she was right there with nowhere to go. "But how am I going to change your mind if I don't spend time with you?"
Well, he had a point there, didn't he? "It's just that I don't feel like this is fair to you at all. You know I'm in lo—that I'm having a hard time getting over him. I just think—"
"Navi." He stopped at a red light and turned to face me. "I know. I know how you feel about Alec. I know how you feel about me. I don't care. I'm here to change your mind."
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Alec
I walked into the apartment and was immediately assaulted by lilacs. Or, the scent of them, anyway. There was a vase full of them on the table that we never used. And that smell…
"Was Navi here?" I asked, hating the way hope made my voice shake. Please say she was here. Please say she was here.
"What? Why?" Bryson asked, focusing really hard on the dishes he was washing so he didn't have to look at me.
The way he'd answered was suspicious. Like maybe I should stop hoping so desperately that she'd been there recently. "I smell her lotion." Yeah, I was pathetic. I recognized the smell of her lotion the second I walked in the room.
"Oh. Right. Yeah, we had lunch together. I made fettuccine."
"You—you had lunch together?" My stomach twisted and the dryness in my mouth made it hard to swallow. "Why?"
He didn't look at me. "She's hurting, Alec. Konstanz and I are trying to get her through this. It wasn't a big deal."
I ran a hand over my face and stared at his back through my fingers. "What are you saying, Bryson? That's two days in a row. Are you guys, like—" I couldn't even say it. Three days after she and I had that fight, and she was dating my roommate? She said she hadn't been able to get over me in the four years we'd been apart, but three days later and she forgot I existed and dated my roommate.
The world did not make sense.
Bryson finally emptied the sink and turned to face me. "No. We're not together. It's really hard to date a girl when her best friend won't let her out of her sight. I'm just trying to be a friend. That's all."
I dropped my keys on the table and shrugged out of my jacket, fighting to get the sleeve over my cast. "Fine. Fine, so you're bosom buddies now. That's awesome. Why in the hell are you bringing her here when you know how I feel about her?"
Bryson frowned, coming around the kitchen counter. "You called her a whore, Alec. You said she was a demon. I figured you were pretty much done with her."
"I didn't mean any of those things!" I yelled. I stared at the ceiling for several long seconds before I could force myself to look back at him. "We are done. Navi and I won't ever be together. But that doesn't mean you need to bring her back here." That doesn't mean I'll ever get over her.
"Okay. Sorry. I didn't know it would bother you. We'll hang out at her place. Hey, have you eaten yet?"
I glared at him, trying to comprehend what had just happened. There were future plans? I didn't want him to have future plans with her.
"It's just awkward at her place, you know? We have no privacy. She doesn't even have her own bedroom. Did you know that?" Those words nearly sent me to my knees. I fought to stay on my feet as the room spun. I did know that. I didn't want to know how he knew that, though.
He continued without waiting for me to answer. "And again, I ask. Are you hungry?" How could he be kind and considerate after he just blew a hole through my chest?
I jerked away from him. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
"Wait!" Bryson called as I stormed across the room. "I have leftover fettuccine!"
"No thanks," I muttered as I shut the bathroom door behind me.
After that, I saw very little of Bryson. He spent every waking moment with Navi and Konstanz. He came home late and left early. Normally, that would thrill me—less time with the roommate who seemed to live to torture me? Hell yeah. But when I knew he was gone because he was with her, it drove me absolutely insane. Not seeing her, only hearing bits of conversation between them or smelling her lotion when I walked in, and I still felt the same agonizing pain I had the first day I'd lost her. I was instantly sick—like a migraine and the stomach flu and maybe a couple knife wounds all rolled into one. It wasn't getting any easier. In fact, it was worse every single day. So I threw myself into work. I didn't know what else to do.
"Alec, you back here again?" My boss looked over his desk as I strapped on my tool belt.
"Yep. Just stopped for dinner." If I kept this up, I would make so much money I wouldn't even need a roommate. I'd be able to move out of my apartment and buy a house.
"You worked over eighty hours each the last three weeks. Did you know that?" Did I know that. Of course I knew that. I knew it because the week before, I'd gone home at night, and Bryson was gone, and I knew where he was. Then I'd come home the next night and had just walked out of the shower, and Navi was at the door, telling Bryson she would wait for him in the car. Another day, I'd happened to walk past the window to see her jeep in the parking lot below. This was after the week of trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol—and been arrested for being drunk in public. I'd also thrown up in Josh's car, so he wasn't very fond of me. Finally, I'd just decided to stay at work. It was easier here. The weekend was coming, though. I wasn't sure what to do with that.
My phone buzzed. I glanced down, praying it would be her, knowing it wouldn't be. "Hey Mom," I said, putting the phone to my ear.
"Hi Alec. We haven't seen you for a while. Thought I'd better check on you."
"I'm good, Mom. Just working a lot. How are things there?"
There was a couple seconds of silence—enough that I knew she was dissecting my words and tone to see if there was anything to worry about. "Fine, fine. We're just busy. Dad is trying to coach Jack's little league team, but between you and me, he's not much of a sports man." She chuckled and even I couldn't help but smile. "And Jack has his first baseball game this week. Do you want to come?" If my mom had been closer, I would have kissed her.
"Of course. Hey, maybe Dad needs an assistant coach?" I could hear the hope trembling in my own voice, so I knew she picked
up on it. Mother's intuition and all that.
"Or maybe he needs to be the assistant. Hey Jack, how would you feel if Alec coached your team?"
I heard him whoop in the background. For the first time in several weeks, I could feel a smile trying to crack its way through. "I'll be there Friday night, as soon as I get off work." Suddenly, the weekend couldn't come fast enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Navi
Alec's truck was, as usual, not there when I pulled in, and as usual my dumb heart was both relieved and devastated. "Heart, I think you've got issues," I muttered as I pulled into a parking space. Right then, I'd give my left arm for a chance to see Alec—even knowing that I would probably end up eaten by asuwangs with only one arm for fighting.
Yes, I was that desperate.
"It will get easier," Elizabeth said, sitting rigidly in the passenger seat next to me. I wasn't sure if she just sensed my desperate need to keep her near, or if she was worried I might do something completely insane if she left me, but Elizabeth had become my constant companion, unless Bryson and Konstanz were around. And they were around a lot. Maybe a little more than I wanted, because a part of me needed time to mope and cry and heal, and I couldn't do that with cheerleaders constantly at my side.
Thank goodness for Elizabeth, who let me cry and ghost-patted my head and gave up everything she usually did during the day to hang out with me. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel and peeked at her out of the corner of my eye. "What would you be doing right now if you weren't stuck with me?"
A ghost of a smile crossed her face (a ghost of… see what I did there?) "When I first regained my freedom from Death, I explored the world and saw all the things I didn't get to while I was alive. I went to Egypt and Africa and Spain…all these beautiful places I'd always dreamed of. But it got old. I tried to make friends with the souls in limbo, but they, as you might imagine, aren't the friendliest. They're prone to violence and possession and screaming and wailing." She frowned. "Not enjoyable at all."
"I'm sorry." I hadn't realized how lonely her afterlife must be, and I felt guilty wanting her to stay with me to fight. Guilt is not my favorite thing to feel.
She shrugged. "Now I watch the waves, waiting for demons. I make grand plots to defeat the asuwangs and their sea witch. I visit your parents, because they can see me—you're supposed to call your mother, by the way."
I smiled. "Yes ma'am." We sat in silence until I spoke again. "They're planning something."
"Your parents?" She tapped her translucent chin.
I half-heartedly giggled. "No, Elizabeth. The demons. Something is up."
She nodded. "I agree. But we're doing everything we can. When they make their move, we will be ready."
I swallowed hard. I sure hoped we would. My grandmother had thought she was ready. She'd had a larger army than I did—because back then, more people were willing to fight for their salvation. And she'd still lost.
"Are you planning on staying here tonight?" She quirked an eyebrow, a very modern movement to go with her old-style clothing.
"Oh. Right. No." Since Alec wasn't here, it was safe to go up. I slowly slid out of my jeep before I turned to Elizabeth. "See you in a bit?"
"Always." She shimmered and was gone and I felt like she'd taken all my strength with her. I trudged up the stairs to Alec's—er, Bryson's—apartment and knocked listlessly on the door.
He swung it open so fast, I had just a touch of a suspicion that he'd been watching me. Well… that didn't make me look crazy at all, did it? Sitting in my jeep, talking to myself. And I wasn't a calm talker, either. I liked to throw my arms around a lot. I cringed.
"Hey Navi. How are you today?" He tipped his head to the side.
Konstanz appeared behind him. I'd been watching for Alec's truck and completely missed her little car parked nearby.
I waved and I smiled, like a friendly person would do. "I'm fine, Bryson. Ready to go to the museum?" He had made it his mission to reacquaint us with all the historic destinations in Astoria. I didn't mind—they were beautiful, and I loved history. Even though I was sacrificing sleep for these little outings.
Hmm. Maybe I did mind.
He was answering me and I'd completely zoned out. "Yep. I haven't had dinner yet. Wanna grab something on the way?" He snatched his keys off the cute little table by the door and locked up. I pitifully tried to see any trace of Alec behind him, and kept one eye on the parking lot, praying Alec would show up and then praying he wouldn't.
I was a very confused girl.
"Yeah. But I have to work tonight, so we have to be fast."
He raised an eyebrow as he brushed past me to lead the way down the stairs. "Again? That's like the fifteenth night in a row. Don't you ever get a day off?"
I wish. Fighting demons every freaking night was exhausting. Didn't they realize I needed to sleep? They'd upped their attack frequency by about a thousand percent, and the sea witch was sending a whole lot more at once, too. This, of course, kept me fighting all night every night, and I was so stressed about it that I didn't really sleep during the day, either.
It was awesome.
"Not lately. Things are intense." I yawned, nearly falling down the stairs while I wasn't looking.
Bryson caught me, studying my zombie-like face. "You need to sleep."
"Right?" Konstanz nodded. "Tell that to our roommates. Reese is like a walking bull horn. Terrie sings like a strangled goose."
I snorted, very unladylike. "For some reason, they like to be awake during the day, which is all well and good for them. For me? Not so much."
We were stopped in the middle of the stairwell, and I was still praying Alec would show up. I just wanted to see him. Would that be so bad? Realizing belatedly again that Bryson was talking, I struggled to focus. Because that's what good friends do, right? They listen when the other one talks. "You know, Alec and I work during the day. Our apartment is empty and silent. You could sleep here."
I shook my head, dodging around him and heading to my jeep. "Alec would throw a fit. He doesn't want me anywhere near him."
Bryson shrugged, climbing in the passenger side. "I can ask him. The worst he can say is no. And you can sleep here all weekend, too. He goes… away… on the weekends."
"Away?" I asked, wincing at how my heart started to pound just talking at him. Hopeful and frightened, all at once.
"Yeah. I think… never mind." He looked out the window, refusing to meet my gaze, but I pounced on his words like an overly enthusiastic cat—and news of Alec was my red laser dot.
"What, Bryson?"
He turned toward me, pity in his eyes. "I didn't want to tell you." He made a face, like he'd eaten something icky. "I think… I think he sort of has a new girlfriend. He stays at her house on the weekends." Seeing the distress his words caused, he rushed to continue, "But I'm sure you're way prettier than she is."
"Oh," I said weakly. "Thanks."
"Hey." Bryson grabbed my chin and turned my head so I was facing him—a risky little move since I was driving us through traffic. "So he's an idiot. But there are a billion guys who would give their right arm to be with you." His eyes darkened. "Trust me on that."
"If they gave their right arms, they couldn't hug me." I pulled my chin away so I could focus on driving. And on not crying, but mostly the driving.
"I'd still find a way," he said quietly. I squirmed. It made me massively uncomfortable when he talked about feelings. Because while I enjoyed his company as a friend, and I appreciated the distraction he gave me as a friend, the more time I spent with him, the more I knew I'd never feel "that way" about him. When I tried to tell him that, he said he'd find a way. The boy was an unending well of determination, that's for sure. "I'll tell you what. I'll even clean out a drawer, just for your stuff. Let's go buy you some extra toiletries right now!" He sounded way excited about it—and who said the word toiletries anymore?
"What about the museum?" I asked dumbly.
He shrugge
d. "I've been to the museum lots of times. Let's get you all set up at my place. We don't want you collapsing from exhaustion or something."
I frowned. "You told me yesterday you'd never been." I distinctly recalled the conversation, because I'd been trying to escape to the beach with Elizabeth and he'd kept up a constant chatter—like he knew I was trying to leave and thought he could stop me by not letting me get a word in.
He patted my cheek, reminding me of my aging aunt when I went to visit. "You're so tired. I said I hadn't been recently."
"Oh." I swear I could remember… but then again, he was right. I was so tired after all the fighting that I couldn't think straight. I wasn't even sure why I kept agreeing to Bryson's outings when I knew with a ninety-eight percent certainty that I'd be fighting again that night. I guess… I guess I just needed the distraction, from Alec and from my Agent life. I needed something to remind me the world was okay, that things were still moving forward even when I felt like I was banging my head against a metaphorical brick wall.
Bryson was very caring and always around, which made me wonder if Bryson actually had a job. He was only gone a few hours a day. But he always had money and he took work calls all the time, so I guess he must have a job somewhere.
He insisted on buying me an extra toothbrush and a comb. He said I was free to sleep in his t-shirt, but that felt too intimate. So I grabbed some pajamas that covered me from feet to chin—to hide battle wounds, of course. The fact that it also hid me from Bryson's ice blue eyes was just a bonus. And then, of course, I felt guilty for not being madly in love with him when he was so considerate and patient with me.
We grabbed muffins and went back to his house. "I've gotta run by work," Konstanz said, digging her keys out of her purse. "I'll be back in a bit."
That left me and Bryson alone. I panicked, like a trapped rabbit, but there was no polite way out of it. She smiled and waved and disappeared and I wanted to smile and strangle her.