by Lucy Ivey
Curiosity covered his face.
“I mean, he is. You both are. Come on, Justin, you know that,” I confessed blushing. “Someone walking up to him isn’t the weird thing to me. Him saying yes is what I thought was weird. And he smiled.”
My confusion amused him. But I wondered now if it was confusion or jealousy as I watched him across the room with her.
“You need to understand that about him, too.”
“Understand what?”
He was staring at his brother as he spoke to me.
“Not only his appeal to women but his attraction to them, too. He loves them as much as they love him. Well, that’s what he has them believe anyway.”
Focusing on his words, my eyes followed his stare back over toward his brother. Joe was so good looking, and watching the three girls surrounding him made him even more attractive to me. It was uncomfortable how attractive I thought he was and when I shifted my wavering eyes back at Justin, he was already staring at me.
“Are you attracted to him?”
The question was unexpected.
“What?”
Why was he asking me that?
“Why would you ask me that?”
“You haven’t been able to take your eyes off him since he left the table.”
And he was right.
Since Joe walked over to the bar area with his “new friend” I continued to look behind me, watching them.
“I’m sorry,” I said, turning my chair to face Justin. “You said I shouldn’t take it personally, you know, the way he treats me. But it’s hard not to, especially when some stupid drunk stranger walks over to him and he is so nice to her.”
“Maybe you should have offered to buy him a drink?” Justin said taking a sip of his soda.
He was teasing me.
“Yeah, maybe.” I giggled, taking a sip of mine. “Who knew I could win his heart with whiskey?”
He let out a small, playful laugh as he continued to stare at me and said, “I hope you know that you have all of my attention now. Just you.”
His words were left hanging between us. I had no idea what he meant by them and I didn’t have the courage to ask him.
After we finished eating, we talked. He told me about the classes he was taking at school and the apartment he and Joe shared off campus. He made it sound like they were inseparable. What one did, the other did, too.
But he seemed more interested in me and my life.
“Tell me what your best and worst qualities are,” he said taking a drink.
It was a total date question. Was this a date? I didn’t know the answer. Or the answer to his question. The truth was I had plenty of both.
“I don’t know. I guess I mean, I struggle with trusting people.”
“Why?”
Because of my mom and your dad.
“I don’t know,” I lied.
“So is that your best or worst quality?”
His smiling face was flawless.
“It could be both, I guess,” I answered looking down at the folded napkin in my lap. “I mean, it’s good because it helps me keep my guard up but it’s bad too because it keeps me from getting close to people at times.” When I lifted my eyes to meet his again, his curious eyes playfully stared into mine.
“Do you trust me?”
My pounding heart stopped.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I mean, I don’t know you very well.”
He leaned back and smiled. He was okay with my uncertainty.
“You will,” he whispered leaning forward.
Something in his stare, something in his words sent that instant familiar warmth throughout my body, and I could tell he enjoyed the effect he knew he was having on me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before the waitress interrupted us.
“Honey, here’s your check,” she said handing it to Justin. “You can stay as long as you want. I’m going on break right now.”
“Thank you but I think we’re done here,” he said reaching in his back pocket for his wallet. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” I said reaching for my coat. “Do you think Joe is ready?”
“Oh, he won’t be coming with us.” Justin laughed as he handed the waitress four twenty-dollar bills. “Keep the change.”
“Thank you, sweetie,” she said smiling. “You kids have a great night.”
“Thank you,” I said, looking over at Joe.
Justin was probably right. Joe seemed to be having a great time with the three girls surrounding him at the bar. I had never seen him laugh before. He actually looked like he was having fun. And why wouldn’t he be? I wasn’t around.
“Come on,” Justin said taking my hand. “Let’s go make sure he doesn’t want to go so you’ll feel better about it.”
Joe was still laughing as we walked over to the bar area. The three girls seemed to be happy to see Justin.
“And this is your little brother?” one of the girls with blond hair asked as Justin stood next to her. “He’s cute.”
I waited a few feet away while Justin whispered something into Joe’s ear. Joe looked over at me and smirked before holding up a shot glass to me and chugging down the brown liquid in it.
Justin walked back over to me and said Joe was staying.
“You should stay too, sweetie,” the blonde called to Justin. “I promise you’ll have a good time.”
My look to her must have been territorial because all her friends looked at me and laughed.
“Sorry, honey.” She giggled. “I can tell you don’t want to share.”
A quiet rage could be heard in Justin’s tone as he said, “Let’s go.”
Pulling my eyes from Joe’s intimidating stare, I followed behind Justin as he held my hand tightly bumping our way through the crowd of people. When we finally made it out of the bar, I looked through the window at Joe again as he raised another drink to me. His eyes still glaring into mine. And with another wicked smile, he drank the dark liquid in one quick swallow.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I didn’t know if it was out of the familiar spite or a new curiosity.
Chapter 6
Intoxication
Justin was upset as we walked silently out to the truck. I didn’t know if I should say anything or remain quiet. He waited beside the passenger door with his keys clenched tightly between his fingers. Seconds passed and he didn’t unlock the door.
“Are you okay?” I finally asked.
His smile was forced.
“I’m fine,” he lied.
I held his hand in mine searching for the right words to make him feel better.
“I had a great time tonight,” I whispered. “And don’t worry.”
His eyes met mine.
“You can show me the movie theater and bowling alley next time.” I giggled.
I was teasing him about the town’s limited entertainment selection but the smile barely formed across his full lips. He unlocked and opened my door and before I stepped inside, I told him it wasn’t his fault that the evening turned out the way it did.
“Yes, it is,” he disagreed quietly. “I know how he is when he starts drinking. I shouldn’t have let him go over there with those girls.”
“Oh, I don’t think you could have stopped him if you wanted to,” I said sarcastically, forcing myself to laugh.
A wider smile formed across his perfect lips.
“You’re probably right.”
I nodded playfully but stopped when I noticed his stare was holding. It was a few seconds before he spoke again.
“I hope you don’t really wanna go home yet.”
My lungs collapsed inside my chest.
I didn’t want to go home, not yet, not without him.
“I don’t.”
“Where do you want me to take you?” By the way he asked this question, I knew he only wanted one response.
“Anywhere.”
His upper lip curled at the corner in a new way. It was seductive and co
nfident, as if he knew what I was going to say because he’d heard other girls say it so many times before when he’d asked them the same thing.
In that moment, he reminded me of Joe.
He raised his head up toward the night sky for a minute like he was thinking of somewhere to take me. His blue eyes were piercingly bright against the darkness surrounding him. He glanced over at the bar where Joe was still visible through the window.
“We could go to the resort and I could show you some more snowboard moves.”
“I don’t have my stuff with me,” I said quietly. “And isn’t it closed?”
“Yes, it’s closed.”
Was he suggesting what I thought he was suggesting?
He wanted to be alone with me.
When I didn’t respond, he put his hand on the side of my face and gave me the answer to my unasked question.
“We don’t have to go there. I just wanna be alone with you. And I know no one would interrupt us there.”
His words were as unexpected as his touch, both soft and gentle and hopeful.
He didn’t care where we went. I didn’t either.
“No. I wanna go,” I said almost pleading for him to take me.
His seductive smile returned as he leaned closer to me. I could feel his warm breath on the side of my cold cheek. He gently moved my hair away from my ear with the tips of his fingers before tracing my jaw with them slowly.
“Are you sure?” he whispered moving his hand farther down my neck to the same spot he’d touched when we were alone in my room.
“Yes,” I said breathing slowly.
He made me feel special. The way he looked at me. The way he talked to me. The way he touched me. I was the only one he was thinking about. His eyes, his voice, and his hands were all inviting. I was safe with him.
“I wanna be alone with you again,” he repeated softly. His lips were only inches away from mine. I longed for the heat his breath was giving to me.
The slow smile forming on my face gave him his answer.
A confident grin spread across his face.
He expected me to go with him.
He stepped toward me and put his hand on the side of my face again. His hand was warm and it sent chills down my spine. His eyes reminded me of the color of rain as I looked into them, watching them getting closer.
He made me wait for his kiss as he continued to stare into my eyes.
He had done this before.
And the anticipation was killing me.
He slowly moved his hand down toward my neck before quickly taking a step back and locking his eyes on mine.
“This is crazy.” It was a quiet confession accompanied by a soft, involuntary laugh.
“What’s crazy?”
“This.”
His eyes narrowed.
I knew the answer he was searching for in his stare: Should he do this?
“I shouldn’t do this. We shouldn’t do this.”
The same thought had crossed my mind a thousand times today.
“Are you talking about me?”
His stare was heavy.
“Karley.”
I wanted to hear him say the words. I needed him to. And I patiently waited.
But his focus shifted immediately to Joe and two of the girls stumbling out of the bar. His face hardened as he stared across the street. When he spoke to me, he didn’t look at me.
“Wait here,” he commanded in a low voice.
Justin crossed the street with purpose. Whatever he said to his brother, Joe didn’t like. Clumsily, Joe pushed Justin out of his way as he continued stumbling away with his two trophies. Justin grabbed the back of Joe’s coat, and Joe spun around pushing Justin harder away from him.
“What’s your problem?” Joe yelled. He glared over at the truck until his eyes focused on me. “You look like you’re having a good time. So why can’t I?”
“Knock it off,” Justin demanded loud enough to get Joe’s attention back on him and away from me.
“What?” Joe snickered. “Unless you need my help with Karley, too.”
His comment sent a rage through Justin and he pulled his arm back. Both girls screamed as Justin’s fist collided with Joe’s jaw.
The contact was loud and should have been bone breaking.
Joe didn’t fall down.
He shook his head a little bit as if he were trying to comprehend what happened. Joe was stronger than his brother, and in a fair fight—one that didn’t include Joe’s being intoxicated—he would have been able to fight Justin and win with ease.
Tonight, he leaned over with his hands on his knees. He continued to open and shut his mouth as if he were exercising the pain away before laughing.
“Really? Is that all you got?” he asked rubbing his jaw with his hand. “C’mon, I’ve taught you better.”
“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Justin pleaded holding his palms up in the air, surrendering to his brother.
“Of course, you do,” Joe said. “You’ve wanted to for a long time, brother.”
“Fuck! Just get in the truck!” Justin begged.
Slowly, Joe stood completely upright and looked hard at his brother.
He glanced over at the two girls standing near the side of the building and smiled.
“Sorry, ladies.” He laughed. “I’m sure the three of us would have had a fun time together.”
He turned back around to his brother and tilted his head to the side in the direction of the truck and started walking over to me.
Beside me, he said with a sneer, “Bet you wanna hit me, too.”
I didn’t say anything as a chill raced up my spine, tightening my shoulders in place.
I immediately turned to Justin.
“Knock it off, Joe!” he said from the other side of the truck. “Karley, get in and scoot over.”
I did what I was told as Joe followed me inside the truck. He leaned his arms back on the seat and spread his legs out in front of him. I felt his fingers touching the ends of my hair.
“You’re very pretty, Karley,” he whispered into my ear. “But you already knew I thought you were, didn’t you?”
I sat frozen under his warm words.
“Joe, leave her alone.”
“Why?” he asked lifting my hair up to his nose. “You’re not.”
My chest tightened. There was something warning in his voice. I just wasn’t sure if it was intended for me or his brother.
“Karley, scoot closer to me,” Justin ordered.
I couldn’t move. Justin’s face tightened. He was angry with his brother.
“He’s drunk,” Justin whispered to me. “He’ll be okay.”
I wasn’t worried about him being okay. I was worried about being next to him if his temper flared up again. He was irresponsible. Unremorseful. And impulsive. And this combination meant he was dangerous.
The quick ten-minute ride home took forever. The left side of my body was sweating from the closeness of Justin’s body next to it. As hard as I tried to not have any part of my body touch Joe’s it still happened, and even though he knew it bothered me he didn’t adjust himself away from me, so I would do it, causing more discomfort to myself.
In the driveway, Joe opened the door to let himself out before Justin stopped the truck. I didn’t try to stop him even when I thought he might actually fall out.
He didn’t.
He stumbled out of the truck and up the sidewalk to the front door.
“Hurry up!” he yelled at his brother.
Justin hurried up the sidewalk in time for Joe to fall into his arms.
“Karley,” Justin said, struggling to keep Joe upright. “Take my keys and unlock the door. I need to get him upstairs before our dad sees him.”
He had covered for his brother before.
Once inside, Justin gave me a smile filled with embarrassment for and loyalty to his brother.
“Do you mind helping me?”
“Sure, what do you need me to do?”
“Go upstairs to his room and pull down the covers on his bed,” he said.
I ran up the stairs through the darkness as quickly and quietly as I could to Joe’s room. I turned on the light, pulled down the covers and waited for Justin to bring him upstairs.
As I waited, I quietly inspected his room.
Like the rest of the house, it was immaculate.
Everything was clean. Nothing out of place. Shirts and jeans hung neatly in his open-door closet. His shoes were placed in a straight row under his window. The books on his shelves were all lined up according to height, and the notebooks on his desk were stacked evenly beside his laptop. The pictures on the walls were all of oceans and mountains and forests. All peaceful places. It almost seemed like a guest room or maybe even a hotel room, until I noticed the picture on his nightstand. It was a 4 x 6 of him and a girl. Both of them at the resort in snowsuits. The sparkle off her necklace pendant was as bright as their smiles.
It must have been someone special to him. But there was something disturbing about it. He looked happy, unlike the Joe I had come to know so well over these last few days. And like the posters on the walls, he had peacefulness about him.
Hearing the heavy footsteps approaching, I prepared myself to help Justin lay Joe down on the bed. But when he entered the room, he had Joe flung over his shoulder and he motioned me to move as he breathlessly laughed.
“Good, God!” he moaned as he plopped Joe’s heavy body down on the bed. “He weighs a ton!”
“It’s all muscle, baby!” Joe drunkenly laughed.
“What do you need me to do?” I stood nervously on the other side of his bed.
“Come here, pretty girl, and I’ll show you!” He laughed again.
His charm was superficial. A façade. Forced in order to trap me into believing him. I wouldn’t fall for it.
“Karley, don’t pay attention to him,” Justin said leaning Joe’s upper body up and against me. “Take his sweater and T-shirt off while I take off his boots.”
I was barely able to hold the weight of him as he leaned against me. He didn’t struggle when I was taking off his sweater but he didn’t help me either. I reached across his body to lift his arm in the air to pull it out of his sleeve and our eyes met only inches away from each other. I tilted my head back but continued to look at him. He gave me a condescending smile as he leaned his body closer to mine. The smell he had at the beginning of the evening was still noticeable but it now was mixed with liquor, and it wasn’t intriguing to me anymore.