Nick hesitated. He wondered if he was doing the right thing. What was it about Carlie that drew him in? All he wanted was to protect her, regardless of the personal cost.
“Just the ID’s for now,” he decided. “I go by Nick these days, but you can choose what you like for our new names. I’ll send the pictures from this phone number.”
Nick rattled off Carlie’s address so Donovan could mail the new identities once they were complete, and then they talked about payment arrangements. It was expensive, but they would receive more than IDs and passports. Jason had an entire past with all sorts of documents provided to him.
“Donovan, can I ask one more question?”
“Go for it.”
“Is it worth it?”
Donovan needed no further explanation. “I would choose Maddie and the kids a hundred times over. I’d walk through fire. It is so worth it, my friend. Don’t be afraid of love.”
The line went dead in Nick’s ear, and he sighed. Donovan had never sounded happier. If he could have a sliver of that with Carlie, wouldn’t it be worth defying Paul and President Sharp? Wouldn’t it be worth leaving everything behind?
He flipped through the pictures on Carlie’s phone, finding one of her standing next to her car, a cute grin on her face. He snapped a picture of himself and sent both to Donovan in a text message. He then deleted all evidence of their communication.
A weight lifted from his chest once he finished. Donovan would work quickly to get the identities. Maybe Nick was wrong about Paul and the man would do the honorable thing, protecting Carlie instead of harming her. Somehow, though, Nick feared Paul would do whatever S.A.T.O. told him to, no matter what Nick tried to say about it. He definitely felt more secure having a backup plan in place.
Now, he just had to figure out how to make Carlie happy. And women were a mystery he had no clue how to unravel.
***
Carlie paced the kitchen while waiting for the coffee to brew and Nick to finish showering. She was nervous about confronting him—partly because she wasn’t sure why him keeping Stephen’s visit a secret angered her so much. She didn’t know how to explain her frustration. Maybe it was because her passion controlled her once before, and she was reluctant to let it happen again. She wondered if he’d understand that.
The bathroom door creaked open, and Nick stepped into the hallway. He looked down the length of the house to where she stood in the opening of the kitchen. Once again, he’d only bothered covering his bottom half, putting on a pair of sweat pants. The hall light glinted off his dark hair, and he flexed his pecs after they made eye contact.
“What’re you doing?” he asked, walking toward her.
She tried not to notice the sleek way his muscles flexed and contracted when he moved, first bulging in his arms, then shifting as he paced forward, highlighting his hard abs. Forcing herself to look away, Carlie took a step further into the kitchen.
“I made coffee,” she replied. “Do you want cream or sugar?”
“Nope. Black’s great.”
Suddenly, he was behind her. His body pressed into hers and his warm breath sent shivers across her neck. Fighting the urge to lean into him, she walked forward instead.
“So, you’re still mad?” He stepped into her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “That puts a kink in my plans for the night.”
Carlie held herself very still. She couldn’t give in to him. Not that easily. Before she let things go further, she needed to know he meant what he said. Make sure he wasn’t going to hurt her by leaving after he got what he wanted in the sack.
She gritted her teeth, commanding herself to ignore how good he felt against her. “You taught me how to defend against an attack like this.” She kept her voice sweet and light. “I think an elbow to your ribs or a thumb in your eye might change the romantic tone you’re hoping for.”
His arms loosened and he stepped away. “Guess that answers my question. You’re definitely still mad.”
Carlie pulled mugs from the cupboard next to the refrigerator and filled them with coffee, adding a packet of artificial sweetener to hers. She turned to Nick, holding his out. “More cautious than mad,” she qualified. “I got carried away by lust this morning, but I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of my past.”
She brushed past him, leading the way to the dining room. She took her usual place at the head of the table, blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sip.
Nick settled into the chair closest to her and set his mug down. “What is it you want from me?”
“For starters, I think we should learn more about each other before hopping into bed together.”
Nodding, Nick steepled his fingers against his lips, his dark eyes regarding her. “Because that worked out so well for you in the past? You said yourself Ryan pursued you for months before inviting you to that party. Didn’t you feel like you knew him?”
He might as well have thrown ice water in her face, as cold as his words left her feeling. Carlie ran a hand across her damp hair, hoping she didn’t appear as flustered as she felt.
He shook his head. “Look, I just thought it prudent to point out that people lie. Even if we spend the next few weeks or months getting to know each other better, that doesn’t guarantee us any sort of stability.”
“Why?” She looked at him, hoping he correctly interpreted the warning in her gaze. “Do you plan on lying to me some more?”
He plucked the coffee mug from her hand and placed it on the table, capturing her hand in his. “No matter what I say, there is no right answer. We’re both lying right now, at least to some extent, don’t you think?”
“I don’t understand what you mean. I’m not lying.”
His eyebrows rose briefly and he shrugged. “Everyone puts their best foot forward in the beginning. I can sit here and list all the wonderful things about myself, skim over the not so good parts, and hope we have a good time together.” He twisted her hand upside down and raised it to his mouth, tenderly kissing her pulse point and shooting a jolt of desire through her. “The truth is, we won’t really know each other until we’ve been dating a while and the real us comes out.”
A part of her wanted to deny the truth in that statement, but she couldn’t. She hadn’t truly known Ryan until after she lost the baby. Even longer, really, until they learned she couldn’t get pregnant again. Then he told her what he really thought about her and that he’d been forced into marriage because of Gabi.
“Maybe we should wait,” she said, “and not let things get physical until we’re sure.”
Nick released her hand and took a sip of coffee. “We can try that route, if that’s what you really want. I think you’re special, Carlie. I’m willing to wait.”
She narrowed her eyes, not quite sure what to make of that. “You don’t desire me?”
“Oh, let’s be clear.” He tilted his head slightly, his hawk stare bumping up her pulse. “I want you...bad.”
His slow, sensuous voice had a hypnotic quality to it. Carlie felt her resolve weakening. He was a kind, considerate lover from what he’d shown her in the living room, and she was attracted to him. So, why fight this so hard? Pride? Pride would end up with a cold, lonely life.
But still...
“Why didn’t you tell me about Stephen?”
His gaze never wavered. “Because I know he frightens you.”
“I can handle him.”
“No.” He sighed, finally looking away. “Carlie, you’ve been on your own for so long, you think you have to be tough. You’ve been crying out in your sleep since he attacked you. I know you’re having nightmares about him. It’s okay to be afraid.”
It was time to put her true fear out there. “I’m more afraid of you than I am of Stephen.”
Nick swirled his finger against the oak tabletop, making figure-of-eight patterns. After a few breathless moments, he pressed his hand flat against the wood. “Why?”
“He can bruise me, even kill me. I’m risking a lot m
ore with you.”
“I talked to an old friend of mine today,” he said. “A real ladies man. I never thought he’d settle down. He got married last year, has a baby and a foster son. He sounded so happy.” He looked back up, shrugging. “It surprised me to realize it, but I envy him.”
“Marriage isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.” Carlie should know, though she wished her life turned out differently.
“Did you truly believe Ryan was your soul mate, or did you settle for him and lie to yourself about being happy after you found out you were pregnant?”
“I...” While she wanted to defend herself and say she loved Ryan, she couldn’t force those words out. Nick wouldn’t believe her anyway. She shook her head and shrugged. “You know, you’re right. Everyone lies. The most convincing lies we tell are to ourselves.”
“And Ryan was never the guy for you.” Nick nodded. “I asked my friend today when he knew his wife was the one he’d been waiting for all those years.”
She didn’t know why, but her breath hitched in her throat. Nick’s eyes seemed to promise so much. “What did he say?”
He stood and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to her feet. She rested her hand against his bare chest, wondering if his heart thudded as hard as hers. He put his hand beneath her chin and leaned close, whispering a feathery kiss across her mouth.
“He said he knew the instant he met her.” Nick’s arms wrapped around her, crushing her against him. “The way I knew when I first saw you.”
It took a second for his words to sink in, a minute for the fluttery feeling in her stomach to explode into happiness. “Oh, Nick.” She ran her hands up his chest and neck, plunging them into his hair. His mouth found hers and she lost herself in him, never caring if she came up for air again.
He scooped her into his arms without releasing his claim on her lips. Her heart trilled with excitement as his tongue flicked against hers.
Before she knew it, they were at her bedroom door and she fumbled for the handle.
Nick strode in and set her on top of the bed. He climbed next to her, caressing her neck and face. “Is this okay? Because if you want to wait, I’ll wait. As long as you need.”
Shaking her head, Carlie snuggled closer to him, running her hand down his muscled body and over the bulge growing in his pants. “Maybe fate does have a role in our lives. I’ve been drawn to you from the very start, too. Why waste time?”
He let out a soft moan as she cradled his shaft in her fingers, and Carlie didn’t want to talk anymore.
Chapter Sixteen
Nick’s heart pounded so hard, he wondered if it would explode before the night was through. Carlie slipped her hand beneath the elastic band in his sweats. Her thin fingers tickled around the length of his erection, and Nick twitched with need. She stroked to the base and then fondled his balls, provoking a deep grunt from him.
Her hand then trailed up his stomach, igniting fire wherever it touched. Reaching his shoulder, she pushed him flat against the bed and stared at him. “It’s been a while since I’ve...” She shook her head and bit her lip. In the semi-darkness of the room, her large eyes looked almost gray.
“It’s like riding a bike,” he assured her, not concerned in the least about her ability to please him. He plunged his hand into her damp hair and pulled her face closer to kiss the tip of her nose. “Don’t worry. Being with you fulfills my wildest fantasies.”
She smiled and a faint blush colored her cheeks. “Sweet talker.”
His words seemed to make her bolder, and Carlie slung her leg over his, stroking her toes up the inside of his sweatpants and back down. She pressed her mouth into Nick’s and tweaked his flat nipple between her fingers. It puckered as she teased it, sending a jolt through him. Regardless of her lack of recent practice, Carlie certainly knew what to do. She nibbled away from his mouth and down his neck, using plenty of teeth as she worked toward his ear.
“I can’t wait to make you come,” she whispered. The feel of her hot breath against him nearly gave her what she wished for, then and there. She sucked on the bottom of his lobe, and Nick shuddered as another bolt of pleasure flowed through his body.
He tucked his hand inside the back of her pajama top and caressed her smooth skin, pleased to note she hadn’t bothered putting on a bra after showering. Working her top up, he slipped it around her neck and Carlie assisted in ripping it the rest of the way off.
While he’d felt a lot of her earlier, he hadn’t seen her. Nick let out an appreciative whistle, causing her blush to deepen. Carlie’s small breasts were the perfect size to fit into his hands, and it was his turn to push her flat against the bed. He took one already tightening peak into his mouth and kneaded the other between his thumb and index finger.
She shivered and moaned softly, sighing while tipping her head further into the pillow behind her. Her fingernails raked across his back with stinging pain that kicked his pulse up another notch.
“God, Carlie.” He had a hard time catching his breath enough to speak. “You’re making me so hard.”
She tugged the waistband of his pants, pulling them down and taking his briefs with them. Once she freed him, her hand encircled his throbbing member. She stroked the entire length of it, finding his mouth with her own while continuing the intimate caress on his manhood.
He thrust his tongue into her parted lips, licking the inside of her mouth all while longing to lick her a bit lower. She squealed softly and increased the pressure and speed of her hand.
Nick sucked her bottom lip, his body thrumming with hot desire. Being near her was an intoxicating drug. If she didn’t stop soon, he would lose it long before he satisfied her. Shifting his midsection away, he grabbed Carlie’s hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing her fingers.
Her eyes fluttered open. “Why’d you stop me?”
Even the sound of her breathless voice drove him crazy. “I need to slow this down. You feel too good.”
She grinned. “Oh. That’s okay, then.”
He slipped his hand into her pajama pants and rubbed her, pleased at the dampness of her panties. Getting on his knees, he pulled off her bottoms, crawling toward the bottom of the bed and taking her clothes with him.
“Hey!” she protested as he climbed off the bed. “Where are you going?”
He smiled down at her, loving the way she looked naked. Her small breasts formed stiff peaks that reached for him, betraying her need. She truly was the vision of his deepest fantasies.
Crossing the room to his bag, Nick unzipped the outside pocket and grabbed a condom. He sheathed himself quickly and turned to face her. “Just taking care of a little business. We’re good to go.”
She giggled and thumped the bed beside her. “Great. Get your sexy self over here. I’m getting cold all by myself.”
“Can’t let that happen.”
He climbed onto the bed, spreading her legs and shimming between them. He rubbed his chest against her crotch and continued sliding upward. He touched every part of her along the way first his fingers and then his chest, until he kissed her lips once again.
“Please, Nick,” she murmured. “I want you.”
Reaching down, he found the tight bud between her legs and flicked it. Carlie flexed her pelvis, thrusting herself forward and then pulling back.
He covered her nipple with his mouth again, sucking powerfully as he continued flicking her engorged clit. She raked her fingernails across his back for a second time and grabbed his ass, squeezing tightly as she pulled him against her.
“Now,” she demanded.
He looked at her from the tops of his eyes, flicking her nipple with his tongue a few more times before shaking his head. “You aren’t ready yet.”
He dipped his finger into her crevice, noting again how tight and small she was. Using the pad of his thumb, he continued stroking the place he knew would give the most pleasure. She gasped and wiggled beneath him, and Nick slipped a second finger inside, moving in and out in a steady rhythm to s
tretch her snug opening.
“Oh, Nick. You feel so good.” She gripped the sheets beside her, breathing in short gasps and thrusting herself aggressively onto his fingers.
Sensing she was on the cusp of another orgasm by his hands, Nick slid down to give her a more intimate kiss. He rasped his tongue across her lower lips, savoring the taste of her, and then sucked powerfully on her over-stimulated clit. She gyrated against him, moaning while he plunged his fingers inside her.
Carlie’s entire body tensed and she shrieked as a shudder trembled through her. She yanked on his hair, pulling it while panting incoherent words, and he continued teasing her with his tongue. After several sweet moments, her hands relaxed their hold and she shuddered one last time.
He slid off the edge of the bed, standing at the base of it, and yanked her across the bedspread until her ass reached the edge. He swung her ankles onto his shoulders and grabbed her backend in his hands. Still breathing loudly, she supported herself on her elbows and ground her crotch against his stomach, letting out another soft moan as she made eye contact with him. Nick thought it was impossible to want her more than he already did, but he twitched even harder, eager to enter her.
Gripping her hips to maneuver her into place, he guided her onto him, barely having the control to go as slowly as he knew he needed to. Her breathing changed slightly, and he stopped, holding her in place.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded, but her eyes were wide when they met his. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”
“You sure?” Though he didn’t want to stop, Carlie said she hadn’t been with a man for a long time. He’d do what she needed. There were other ways to please him if she wasn’t ready to take this step.
To his relief, Carlie shook her head and flexed her legs, forcing her hips closer to him and bringing him inside another inch. “I want you. All of you.”
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