However, the cute gap between the front teeth of the bride’s friend left no doubt.
Chapter Nineteen
Carlie waited for Nick’s Porsche to pull into the parking lot, then set the alarm and stepped outside, locking Carlie’s Creations. When she reached the car, Nick stood by the passenger’s door, holding it open.
She smiled at him, pleased by how things went today. “You’ll never guess who’s catering her first birthday party this weekend. We’ll hold it at the shop and I’m going to cook the food and help with decorations and—”
Nick scooped her into his arms and dipped her down, pressing a hard kiss against her lips. Carlie clung to his shoulders, opening her mouth and returning the kiss with interest. Her heart raced and her insides tightened with excitement while his tongue tantalized her senses.
He finally pulled back, coming up for air, and hugged her to his chest. “I missed you.”
Even though they’d only been apart a couple hours, Carlie had missed him too. “I think we need a new rule.”
“What’s that?” he asked, stroking her back through her thick coat.
“Every time we’re apart, we have to greet each other just like this.”
“You liked that, huh?”
“Oh, yes.” She smiled at him, but was shocked to see the hardness that crossed his face. “Nick? Did something happen?”
“Why would you say that?” He smiled, but it looked forced.
“Something’s wrong. I can tell.”
He cupped her cheeks in his hands, his dark eyes penetrating hers with the hawk-eyed stare she first noticed from him. “Nothing is wrong, my lady.” He pressed his lips against hers again.
Carlie returned the kiss, although she could tell he was lying. Maybe something went wrong at his restaurant, and he didn’t want to burden her with bad news. She wished he would share, since that’s what people in relationships were supposed to do. Then again, Nick had admitted to her that their relationship was the first he’d truly been serious about, more than a casual fling. She couldn’t expect him to get everything right all the time.
Heck, she made mistakes too and was bound to make more. As long as they cared about each other, everything would be fine. She’d purposefully avoided thinking she was in love with Nick, but feeling her heart clench down with concern just knowing he was unhappy, Carlie knew she had to be honest—at least with herself. She was totally, head over heels, in love with the man.
Even though passion was lacking on the other end of the kiss, Carlie ran her fingers through his hair and tried to let her love come through to him. Anything to cheer him up a little.
He finally ended the kiss and helped her into the car, running around the front of it to slide into the driver’s side. “So, you found a way to help that mom who came in, huh?” he asked while backing out of the parking lot.
The question was flat, disinterested. Something really must have gone wrong. The only thing Carlie could think to do was talk to him like normal and hope he pulled himself out of his bad mood. Maybe if she gave him enough time, he’d open up and tell her what was wrong.
“Mrs. Flair had the worst week of her life. Since I’ve had the best week of mine,” she rubbed his arm, “thanks to you, I decided to share a little of my cheer.”
“Are you giving everything away again?” Although he’d seemed impressed and happy about Carlie contributing to charities before, he sounded hostile now.
She jerked her hand away from him, feeling hurt even though she told herself not to. “Actually, no, I’ll make a nice profit. She’s paying to rent my shop for the party tomorrow night, and paying for me to cater it. Shelley’s going to help serve. I was hoping you’d help set up a little stage area, they plan to sing karaoke, but if you don’t want to...”
“Of course I’ll help you,” he snapped.
She stared out the window into the night, biting her tongue. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk. His gruff manner provoked an equal anger in her, and she knew she’d better keep quiet, or she’d lash out and make things worse.
Whatever happened today, Nick would have to work through it on his own. She’d had enough silent car rides and not talking about issues when she’d been married to Ryan. If he didn’t open up about his life and share with her as much as she shared with him, Carlie would have to decide if loving him was reason enough to continue seeing him.
She sighed, knowing it was her anger making her think such thoughts.
I do love him. I hope he can work through this and learn to let me in.
***
Damn. That didn’t go well. Nick knew he made a mess of things. His acting abilities apparently didn’t apply in this scenario. Carlie read his reactions too well. As soon as they walked into her house, she told him to help himself to whatever was in the refrigerator and went to take a shower—not inviting him to join her like she usually did.
He ran a hand through his hair and took some deep breaths, trying to clear his mind of the rage built inside him by her betrayal. How could he have been so stupid? He let himself fall for a target, and she did what every target did. She lied.
If he was going to make it through this mission, he needed to get his head on straight. He’d worked with plenty of women over the years. He even slept with a few of them in the name of duty. This was nothing more than a case. His job was to protect the American people from terrorist attacks. Carlie was the enemy. Somehow, he needed to reboot and get his mind wrapped around this change.
He shouldn’t even be angry with her for lying, not really. Every target lied. It was what criminals did. Carlie’s allegiance was to Muhammad and whoever else gave orders to the cell of terrorists she worked with.
The important thing for Nick was to find the bracelet and learn as much about the terrorists’ plans as Carlie would share with him. He needed to pretend nothing changed in the last few hours, even if everything had.
He strode into the bathroom, shedding his clothing. The silhouette of Carlie’s thin form showed through the yellow shower curtain. Terrorist or not, Nick still got hard upon seeing her.
Pulling back the corner of the curtain, he watched while she rinsed her hair. Hot water and soap bubbles trailed down her body, and Nick knew he could do what was required of him. He still desired her. The tricky part would be guarding his heart, because everything in him still urged him to believe in her. Even with all Paul’s proof, Nick wanted things to be different.
The cold air must have hit her, because Carlie swiped water from her eyes and looked at him, not saying anything.
Without asking permission, he climbed over the edge of the tub and closed the curtain. He stepped into the stream of water, rubbing his hands over her slippery stomach and across her tits, finally wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. Things with her felt so real. He would only hurt himself by pretending they still were, but he couldn’t stop it. He wanted to be with her.
He turned her into the wall, pressing his body tight against hers and kissing her neck. She softened against him and let out a low moan, running her hands down his back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, nipping at her ear. “I had a bad evening, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now.”
He grabbed the perfect globes of her ass and lifted her, bracing her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his hips and reached between them to stroke his engorged shaft.
“God, Nick,” she half whimpered, half moaned. “I want you so bad.” Her eyes met his and her hand stopped its movement. “No, that’s not entirely right. I need you. I’m yours. Take me.”
***
Nick lay in bed with Carlie draped across his chest. Her hand contracted against the muscles of his stomach now and then, but she seemed close to sleep.
For his part, he couldn’t quit thinking about what happened in the shower. Quick and rough, he’d screwed her against the shower wall, almost
animalistic. She seemed happy and content afterward, as though they worked out their issues. Nick couldn’t help but feel dirty and dissatisfied. He was used to making love to her, not just having sex. It felt wrong.
This case might very well make him lose his mind. How could he love her, but still turn her in? Never had he expected to fall for a target. The past fourteen years, ever since his mom died and his dad went off the deep end, Nick had devoted himself to stopping terrorism. Love didn’t happen for men like him.
He remembered it like it had just happened. His younger self walked off the shooting range when Paul approached. Nick had noticed the man following him for quite some time and planned to ask what his problem was. At twenty-one years old and having just lost his mother, Nick was ready for a fight.
Paul had told him to get into his car, and for some reason Nick did it. Overconfidence, he supposed, thinking his shooting and fighting skills would keep him safe. Funnily enough, it was those skills that attracted Paul’s attention and let him know Nick would be a good fit as an agent.
He explained to Nick that if he chose to become an agent of S.A.T.O., he would protect fellow Americans but never be recognized as a hero. He would never have a life of his own and, most important to Nick, would never be the same person twice. It sounded like a dream come true. He could just sweep the pain of his mother’s murder away and become someone entirely different.
He dropped out of college that week and tried to say goodbye to his father, making an effort to end things on congenial terms—though the man made that difficult—and then set off to a new, exciting life, with Paul to guide him on his new path. Until recently, he thought that life was enough. Carlie had made him want more, and then cruelly snatched that promise of happiness away with her lies.
Sighing, he knew he was at war with himself. Part of him wanted to shove her off him. The other part wanted to cuddle her closer. He settled for running his hands through her long, blond hair and breathing in her sweet scent.
“What’s wrong, Nick?”
Her voice startled him. “I thought you were asleep.”
“You’re far too anxious for me to sleep.”
“I learned a few upsetting things today, but it’s nothing to concern yourself about.”
She crossed her hands together on his chest and propped her chin on them, looking at him and shaking her head softly. “Anything that’s important to you is important to me.”
It was time to start playing this target, no matter his personal feelings. “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you.” He smoothed his fingers down her cheek in a loving manner, unsure whether he was pretending or not. “An FBI agent called me this afternoon and wanted to meet with me.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
“I guess it has something to do with a terrorist organization in this area.” Though he watched closely, no signs of fear or recognition crossed her face, she simply stared at him, waiting for him to go on. “They’re trying to find the members and stop them.”
Carlie nodded. “Yes. Of course, they have to. It’s good to know they’re working hard to protect us, but I don’t understand what that has to do with you.”
“Because, I’m on their watch list.”
“Watch list for what? You’re not a terrorist.”
“There are things about me you don’t know, Carlie.” He shrugged. “I’ve said things in the past that could be considered against our country, because I didn’t agree with the last president’s foreign policies or the war we had.”
She broke eye contact, and Nick hoped she was considering telling him about her group. The best way to find out what she was up to would be to get an invitation to join them.
“Nick, I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.” She finally looked at him again. “Are you involved with something against our country? Terrorists?”
Rather than impressed, like he imagined she’d sound, Carlie seemed disgusted. “No, nothing like that. But haven’t you ever thought, maybe just for a second, that people have a right to hate Americans for our arrogance?”
She pushed herself away and sat up, shaking her head. “I can’t believe this. All night I’ve been worried about you, and you’re thinking about how terrorists are right to kill Americans?” She crawled out of bed and stood up, walking to the door. “I’m not trying to be hot and cold with you, but I think I’ve made a mistake.”
“Calm down. You asked what happened today, so I told you. You haven’t made a mistake.”
She hugged her arms to her body, seeming on the verge of tears. “This is why I said we should get to know each other better before letting things get physical. I don’t know what to think right now, but this isn’t okay.”
“I thought you’d understand.” And tell him about her terrorist activities. This wasn’t going as planned.
“Nick, my whole goal in life is to help people. I thought you were like me, but this...” She shook her head and opened the door. “I think you should go.”
Go? That wasn’t supposed to happen. She was disgusted and angry. What kind of terrorist would act like that when faced with a kindred spirit? Either Carlie was a very good actress or she wasn’t a terrorist at all.
Now he was more confused than ever.
Maybe she lied about being Princess Stephanie because she didn’t know what else to tell him. Maybe, somehow, she was responsible for Prince Rayhan’s death—and possibly Stephanie’s, if he’d read that right—so was on the run. That would make sense. Maybe it still had nothing to do with the terrorist organization, but with the Prince and Princess themselves.
He didn’t know what to believe.
“Carlie, please don’t make me leave. I didn’t say I thought terrorism was a good thing. It’s just that sometimes I wish we didn’t start wars and shove our policies on other countries.” He was scrambling, but didn’t know if he could get back on even footing with her.
She folded her arms tightly across her pajama top. “War is only good for people who make money from it. Generals send out innocent people to be slaughtered while they kill other innocent people.” She shook her head. “It’s the leaders who should be out fighting each other.”
He nodded, thankful to have hit on something she agreed with. Now to convince her to let him stay. He hopped out of bed, crossing the room and hugging her. “You’re right. That’s all I meant to say. It’s the unfairness that angers me.”
“That doesn’t make the terrorist right either though, Nick. Do you really think they are? They kill innocent people as well.”
He pressed his cheek into hers. “No. I don’t think they’re right. Of course not.”
“Then why would the FBI want to talk to you?”
She had him there. Carlie definitely kept him on his toes, but she also opened the door for him to get more information. “They weren’t actually investigating me.”
“Then who?”
Nick sighed theatrically, wanting Carlie to realize how much it pained him to tell her. “They knew I’ve spent time with Muhammad Khan, and I guess his uncle did something last year.”
“Muhammad?” Carlie backed away from him, putting her hand over her mouth and shaking her head. “No. How could they think that? Muhammad is the reason I was so mad at you saying terrorists were right. His uncle brought so much shame on their family. Muhammad’s working hard to help others and erase the negativity his uncle created. We have to warn him.”
She truly believed Muhammad was innocent. Carlie had to be lying for some other reason. Nick wished he could think of a way to ask her about the wedding pictures, find out why she pretended to be Stephanie. Whatever her secrets were, organizing a terrorist group wasn’t one of them. Unless, of course, she was acting. He wished he could tell.
“We can’t tell Muhammad,” he replied. “The FBI is watching everything. If we tip him off, they’ll think we’re involved. I might even go to jail for what I said a few years back. It makes me seem sympathetic to terrorists. I didn’t me
an it the way it was taken, but that doesn’t matter.”
“But what about him? He’s our friend.”
Nick took Carlie’s hands in his, rubbing his thumbs across the tops of them. “Are you certain he’s innocent? Maybe there are things you don’t know about him.”
“There’s plenty I don’t know about him, but he told me about his uncle shortly after we met. He’s trying to make things right. He’s a good person.” She shook her head, pressing her lips tightly together. “No. He’s not a terrorist.”
“Then he has nothing to worry about.” Nick did his best to keep his voice calm and reasonable. If Carlie said anything to Muhammad, Paul would not be very forgiving of having the entire case blown. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. Now do you understand why I didn’t want to talk about it? I was trying to protect you.”
She stepped into him, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling her face against his neck. “I do understand, but please quit keeping things from me to protect me. I can’t live that way.”
“You want us to both be completely honest?”
“Yes,” she agreed. “No lying about anything, okay? At least, not to each other.”
That was ironic, considering they were both lying about the people they really were. Since she didn’t know he was lying, and didn’t know he knew she was, they would never have an honest relationship.
“Let’s go back to bed.” He led her across the space and tumbled down into the covers with her, pulling the comforter around them and holding her tightly. “I need you, Carlie, and I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“I don’t want to fight either.” She scooted up to put her head level with his and kissed him softly. “In the spirit of being honest, there’s something I want to tell you.”
His heart rate jumped a little, wondering if he’d finally learn the truth, but he just nodded.
She kissed him again, obviously nervous. “I’ve been trying to deny it, especially since we don’t know each other very well, but there’s something I just can’t ignore any longer.”
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