“Of course we will, but can you do one thing for me before you leave?”
“Sure.”
Carlie stripped off her plastic gloves and placed them on the counter next to the half-completed sandwiches. She crossed the room, never letting her gaze waver from his. Stopping in front of him, she wrapped her hands behind his neck and pulled his face to hers. “Kiss me.”
Their lips met and though Nick tried to fight it, his pulse raced and he pulled her against his body, hungry for more of her touch, craving it more than air or water. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth, wishing with his whole heart she felt the same passion and love he did.
He broke away and pressed his face into her neck, kissing her softly and deeply inhaling her scent—like vanilla and sunshine. Everything Nick wished he could have.
Paul’s upcoming orders made him nervous. He had no clue what to expect, but Nick knew one thing for sure—nothing would be the same.
She tried to move away, but Nick grabbed onto her and pulled her back, kissing her again. He put every ounce of feeling he could behind it.
“Wow,” she breathed when he finally released her.
Wow, indeed. Now Nick had to shut those emotions off. A S.A.T.O. agent couldn’t afford feelings.
***
Pacing the floor of his sitting room at the hotel, Nick’s nerves jittered as he put off calling Paul. He didn’t really want to hear his new orders. Dread filled his stomach with a leaden pain. Whatever they wanted, it would be difficult.
“Screw it.” Twisting his hands like a worried father wouldn’t change anything. Better to get it over.
He pulled out his phone and connected to the boss.
“About time,” Paul grumped. “It’s been one hell of a day, and I want to get a shot of whiskey in me and relax.”
“Sorry, boss. I was with the target and had to come up with an excuse to leave.” Nick tugged at the collar of his shirt, uncomfortable with his boss’ anger even though Paul was across the country. Although the man had been kind and understanding about things yesterday, he was irritable today.
“President Sharp took forever to return my call. And, of course, the Vice President is worse than useless, since he doesn’t even know about us.”
Something had Paul more on edge than normal, though Nick knew better than asking questions. “I saw the Vice President was released from the hospital. Full recovery from his pneumonia.”
“Yeah. Hopefully those useless secret service men don’t let him catch pneumonia again.”
Paul’s scorn for any other branch of defense was obvious. He hated the FBI, the CIA, and thought the military was full of idiot generals. The man believed he was better than any ten other men. That attitude bothered Nick, but he wasn’t in a position to say anything.
“Let’s hope they don’t,” he said instead. “My new orders, sir?”
“About that. I’m going to pull you off this case and give it to Stephen Chance.”
“But Carlie doesn’t like...” The feeling of dread in his gut turned to nausea. “What, exactly, are you saying, sir?”
“I’m saying that I think it’s best if you don’t know the new orders. I’m not sure you can handle it.”
And the orders had changed to something anyone could do, even someone Carlie hated. That must mean the mission had changed from information gathering to action. That could be very bad for Carlie.
“I still need you to do one last thing before I get your plane ticket back to D.C. and give you some well-deserved time off,” Paul said. “We need that bracelet, Nick, and you’re in the perfect position to take it.”
Nick held his breath for a few seconds, battling to ignore his conflicting emotions. “I can get the bracelet, sir, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to complete the mission.”
“Even though you love the target?” His voice was flat, betraying nothing.
“I loved the person she pretended to be. What are my orders?”
Paul sighed and stayed quiet so long, Nick wondered if he would answer. “Are you sure you want the mission?”
He wasn’t sure, but he had to see this through. “Yes.”
“Fine.” Paul blew out a loud breath. “The President’s orders are to retrieve the bracelet and kill the target.”
Bile rose in his throat, but Nick fought it down. He’d never been on a case before where they wanted the target terminated, though it happened from time to time. What could he do? He loved Carlie, but she was a dangerous criminal who planned to hurt innocent citizens.
“Nick? Are you okay?”
Though his throat clogged with emotion, he forced himself to speak. “A little surprised, that’s all.”
“I’ll have Stephen finish the mission. Get the bracelet and I’ll bring you home.”
Desperate to come up with a different solution, Nick knew he had to tread carefully. “Sir, if I take the bracelet and keep an eye on the target, there’s no reason to kill her, is there?”
Paul sighed. “I know this is hard for you. The President and S.A.T.O. board members carefully considered this before giving the termination order. Your target will never be brought to justice legally, but she is a large threat to our country. We can’t set her free and you can’t stay there forever watching her. I need you for other cases.”
Trembling, Nick sank onto the couch and closed his eyes. This was going to happen. They were going to kill Carlie. He knew better than arguing. Once the President sent an order, Paul would never go against him. Not even for Nick.
“It’s okay, Nick,” Paul’s voice was soft. “There is no shame in you stepping away from this one. You’re a good agent, but that’s asking too much. Stephen’s set to do the job and just awaiting my orders.”
Even if Carlie didn’t love him, he did love her. Knowing Stephen, the man would rape her before beating her to death—slowly, with as much pain as he could manage. Nick couldn’t let her go through that. He loved her too much to let her suffer more than she had to.
“No, I’ll do it. When I kill her...” He paused, fighting down a spasm of pain so intense, he actually pressed his hand against his chest in an effort to relieve it. “When I kill her it’ll tip Muhammad Khan off, even if I make it look like an accident.” Nick hoped his anguish didn’t go through the line to Paul, though the boss probably knew anyway. “Have you prepared for that?”
“I talked to Sharp about that. He wants to stop Khan if we can. If you secure the bracelet without arousing her suspicion, that might buy us a couple days.”
“And when does my target need...” He paused as his throat clogged with another knot of sorrow. “...terminated?”
“Sharp says Thursday, Friday at the latest. It has to be before they strike against us, which we think is happening Saturday or Sunday because there will be less people around those days.”
Damn. Two days, three at the most? He could barely wrap his mind around everything, and now he only had a few days left with her.
“Nick, I’m not convinced I should give you this job. I know you love her. Are you sure you can handle it?”
He had to, didn’t he? Either that or let Carlie suffer at Stephen Chance’s hands. Nick shuddered, knowing that wasn’t an option. He couldn’t let that happen to her. “I’m your man, sir. Consider the target taken care of.”
***
Shelley helped Carlie finish deep cleaning the kitchen, but paused to smooth back her dark hair. “I can’t believe Nick’s not back yet. We’re almost done here.” Both women glanced around the nearly spotless room. “Maybe I should drive you home?”
Checking her phone one more time, Carlie sighed and nodded. “It’s past seven and he’s not returning my text messages. He’s probably caught in a meeting and can’t answer his phone. I’ll just let him know you’re taking me.”
She quickly punched in the message.
“Are things okay with you guys?” Shelley asked. “You haven’t wanted to talk about anything. Was the date that horrible?”
“And then things proceeded to the bedroom.” Shelley jiggled her eyebrows. “That man is hot, for sure. You’re so lucky.”
“He’s really opening up to me and sharing his life. I certainly am lucky. Things have been a little off the last few days though. I think it has to do with his father and never being good enough for him.” Carlie clutched her hands in front of her and looked at her friend, desperate to share how she was feeling. “I’m in love, Shelley. We’ve never said that to each other, and it’s all happened so fast, but I think tonight’s the night to tell him. I want to live with him. I want us to stay together and start a life together.”
“I hope I can find someone as good as him one day.” Shelley wrapped her in a hug. “I’m happy for you. Both of you.”
Carlie’s phone buzzed and she checked the message.
See you at home. Be there soon.
“He’s meeting me at the house. I’m so nervous.”
“Don’t be. I’m sure he feels the same way. I can tell by the way he looks at you.” Shelley hung her dishrag over the edge of the sink. “Let’s hurry and get you home. Your soul mate is waiting.”
***
Carlie sat next to Nick on the couch, watching a show she’d paid no attention to, palms sweating. The dinner they finished earlier fought to come back up. It was crazy for her to be so nervous. With the way he kissed her earlier today, he obviously felt the same way.
Their recent fight was what made her hesitate. She didn’t completely understand what had happened. Nick was still distant tonight, but he struggled with the feelings talking about his father had brought up and Carlie tried to understand that. It must have been hard on him as a kid, never being good enough. That was probably the reason he never came close to marriage or having a serious relationship. Parents sure could screw up their kids.
Drying her fingers against her pants as unobtrusively as possible, Carlie slipped her hand into his. “Can we shut the TV off and talk? There’s something important I need to tell you.”
Nick glanced at her, eyes narrowed, but pushed the power button on the remote. His hawk-like stare trapped her, making it hard to breathe.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous to tell you this, but I am.” She looked at their clasped hands and tried to calm her racing heart. “You’ve become very important to me.”
“And you’re important to me.” He let go of her hand and put his arms around her, cuddling her close. “No matter what you’re about to say, know that it won’t change things between us. Don’t be nervous. You can tell me anything.”
Leaning into him, she kissed him lightly and ran her fingers across the back of his neck. “I know what’s happening between us has moved really fast and things aren’t perfect, but I want us to share our lives totally.”
“That’s what I want too.”
“I know I told you before that I didn’t want you giving up your dreams for me and that I wouldn’t give up mine for you, but I’ve been rethinking that.”
“Really?” He cupped her cheek in his hand and Carlie leaned into it, savoring his touch. “I’m a little surprised. You were so adamant about not giving anything up that you’d worked for.”
“I know we’ll have to reach some compromises, but I’ll do whatever I have to if it means we can be together.” She kissed him again, reassured by the way he responded. After she pulled away, Carlie took a deep breath, knowing it was time to press on. “Here it goes...I’m in love with you, Nick Kendall, and I’ll do whatever is necessary to be with you.”
“You... That’s what you were nervous to say?” Nick’s arm slid away from her back and he shook his head. “That’s not what I...” He shook his head again. “Was there anything else?”
It felt like someone squeezed her heart too tightly. He obviously didn’t feel the same, no matter how he acted.
“Never mind.” She forced a smile on her face, her lips stretching too wide. “Don’t say anything else, please. I’d rather you not pretend if you don’t feel the sa—”
“Of course I feel the same,” he cut in. “From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special.”
He framed her face in his hands and leaned forward, kissing her so passionately she couldn’t doubt him.
When they separated again, Carlie sighed happily. “You had me worried for a second.”
The sexy grin she loved so much flashed on his face. “Sorry. I expected you to say something else, and it caught me off guard. That’s all.”
She laughed. “What did you think I was going to say? Something about hot sex?”
“Actually, I thought you’d tell me what really goes on at Muhammad’s soup kitchen. Carlie, I need to know the truth. Are you involved with him?”
Confusion dampened her happiness, but quickly built to anger as the meaning of his words hit her. “You think I’m having a love affair with Muhammad?” She shook her head sharply. “I would never do that to you! How could you think that?”
“Not a love affair.” Nick’s jaw clenched and the look on his face was so hard, a tendril of fear crept down her spine. “Tell me what else he does. I want to be a part of your life, every part of it, but I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”
Carlie pushed his arms away from her, hurt by his odd accusations. “I don’t know what you think I know, but I can’t tell you anything about Muhammad. What do you think he’s doing?”
“The terrorist stuff.” He practically spit the words at her, his anger a palpable force. “Tell me about that, and then we can be together.”
“Is this about what that FBI guy said to you before? You believe that Muhammad would actually have anything to do with that?” Carlie’s hands shook as her own anger rose. “I thought you were becoming friends with him. How could you think that?”
“Carlie, I know he’s doing something and you know about it. I won’t be mad, just tell me.”
“I’m so glad you won’t be mad, but I’m pissed.” Standing from the couch, she glared down at him. “I clearly made a mistake telling you how I feel. I take it all back.” She shook her head, wishing her heart didn’t hurt so badly. “If you actually loved me, you’d trust me. You know I’m not a terrorist and neither is Muhammad. This is obviously an excuse so you don’t have to commit.”
“Carlie, that’s not what—”
“Don’t feel like you need to stay here and protect me. I’m not your responsibility. I refuse to be with someone who doesn’t believe in me.”
Turning on her heel, Carlie raced to the bedroom. She grabbed his suitcase from the closet, went to the dresser, and opened the drawer with his clothes. Not caring about wrinkles or folding things properly, Carlie shoved everything inside the bag and threw it into the hallway before slamming and locking the door.
The house was silent. Nick’s footsteps never sounded in the hallway to indicate he came to get his bag and she never heard the front door close. Apparently, he waited in the living room, though Carlie didn’t know why. She couldn’t face him.
Slowly, her anger burned itself out and horrible grief took over. She buried herself under the comforter, trying to muffle the sobs wracking her body. Carlie couldn’t understand what had happened to them the last few days. It seemed everything provoked a fight, and now this. Did he truly think she and Muhammad were terrorists? That was crazy. It had to be because he didn’t want her, and was using that as an excuse to get away.
It was worse than finding out the truth about Ryan. She let herself care deeply for Nick, and that had been a mistake. Why didn’t he trust her? And worse, why had he pretended to love her?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Nick opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling when Carlie’s alarm went off back in the bedroom. Pain twinges raced along the muscles in his neck from sleeping crammed on the couch. Not that he’d done much sleeping.
Once
Carlie’s heartbreaking sobs had finally quieted, Nick stayed awake a long time, torn about what to do. Though he knew she wanted him out of her house, he hadn’t moved from the living room. Aside from Paul’s orders to stay with her and the bracelet, Nick hadn’t wanted to leave.
Her reactions truly seemed like those of a woman hurt and confused. If it wasn’t for the bracelet, the wedding pictures, and how defensive she was about Muhammad, Nick would believe she was innocent and completely ignorant of the terrorist organization. He wished he could believe her. If Carlie were what she appeared to be, he wouldn’t have laid here all night contemplating whether it would be possible to kill her—and how much it would crush his soul if he did.
He heard her moving around in the bathroom and then the hall light turned on. Her footsteps sounded on the hallway floor and she poked her head into the living room. “Nick? Are you sleeping?”
He sat up and rolled his head around, trying to ease the stiffness. “No.”
She already had her work clothes on and her hair pulled back in a clip. The bruises on her face had faded enough that she didn’t need much makeup, but the night of crying left her eyes puffy. Nick felt awful all over again, seeing the evidence of how he’d hurt her.
“I thought you’d be gone,” she said.
“Even though we fought, I wouldn’t just leave you like that.”
She bit her lip and looked away. “I’m going to make coffee and cereal. Do you want any?”
Her offer surprised him, though her tone was cool. She obviously wasn’t ready to forgive and forget, but breakfast was a start.
“I’d like that.” He stood and took a few steps toward her. “Can we talk before you leave for work?”
“For a few minutes. I have a busy day. People ordered lots of rolls for Thanksgiving tomorrow.” Sighing, she looked down at the floor. “This was supposed to be such a happy holiday for us.”
“It still can be.”
She shook her head. “I’ll have breakfast ready soon.”
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