by Pamela Ann
While I was still undergoing unprecedented exhaustion and as inviting as the bed was, the babies need nutrients for them to be able to grow and be healthy. Hopefully, I would have enough energy to eat more than I normally would. It had been over six hours since I had nibbled on some crackers and cheese.
Once I was in the cool confines of the bathroom, I took a moment to bask in my surroundings. There were soft, earthy tones from the terra cotta tiles and a large, detached bathtub that overlooked the French windows that had vines growing on the side of them. One thing I loved more than anything was the heavy, intoxicating scent of pink roses that lingered in every section of the room. I could see myself soaking in a warm bath with candles about while I listened to Sarah Brightman softly playing in the background.
It took a while until I finally had the courage to gaze at my lone figure in the bathroom mirror. My makeup surprisingly still looked fresh and pristine, masking the inner turmoil in my eyes. The deep plum playing with a brush of black made my eyes seemed more violet and mysterious. I remembered the smile Julien had on his face the moment he saw me with the dress on, stating I didn’t show any hint of pregnancy. Here was hoping that sentiment would stay true, because if anything happened tonight, the man knew my body more than anyone else in the world and would surely see the difference in my changing body.
My breasts were already a size bigger than before, and although my stomach didn’t show the slightest hint of it, I could feel the difference. There was a tightening feel to it, as if I were bloated or something. It was still taking me time to get used to it.
Looking away from my sad reflection, I scoured for a toothbrush then gently brushed my teeth. For a moment, I opted to wear this sexy dress, but came to a realization that Hugo might be more drawn to my cleavage if anything, so it was best to appear demure and less revealing. The only way I could achieve that was to wear the soft cotton chemise robe that hung against the wall.
Leaving the dress hanging in the bathroom, I exited the room in search for Hugo in the kitchen. The moment I came out of the softly lit hall and onto the landing, the delicious aroma of food wafted through the air and immediately made my stomach growl. The smell was almost effervescent to my lowly spirits, and I became a puppy in search of its treat.
I had thought I was a little hungry before, but I’d had no idea just how much. I instantly reprimanded myself, feeling as though I was an irresponsible parent already. I wasn’t living for myself any longer. I would have two little cherubs to take care of before I knew it, and that would take some getting used to.
The rustic interior of the chateau contrasted with the high, glittering crystals of the chandelier. The earthy colors of beige and brown beautifully played out with the chic addition of silver and gold. And once again, pink roses were littered everywhere, enhancing the appeal of this gem of a place. I had never been in such a setting where it didn’t scream gaudy or too pretentious, yet the designer here had achieved it with ease.
Completely struck by my surroundings, I was unaware of Hugo appearing until he cleared his throat to get my attention.
“I was just coming upstairs to get you,” he murmured. “Your meal is ready.”
“Thank you,” I said before looking back at the living room and the vast entryway. “This is a beautiful home, Hugo.”
“It is, isn’t it?” He seemed thoughtful for a moment before roving his eyes about, as if he were seeing it for the first time. “My father gifted my mother with this place. She always loved it here around Provence. She used to take me here when she was tired of parties and galas. She loved to bake and always had fresh pastries every afternoon for me to snack on. She truly was an amazing woman. She was elegantly simple, and I think this house truly portrays that about her.”
His revelation of his mom touched me.
“She must’ve been a lovely woman; she surely sounds like one.” He had never mentioned his mother, so for him to give me a little token of his fond memory made me feel all sorts of things.
He made a pensive face then glanced at me with unreadable eyes. “She was. She truly was.”
There was an inclination that he might have wanted to pursue the subject, but it was something I couldn’t afford. Therefore, I took the initiative of asking where the kitchen was.
The large, rustic wooden table that could easily accommodate people of twenty or so sat right before a wall of windows that overlooked some sort of patio that had a massive, rocky fountain that expanded to a beautiful pond. With just enough lighting to accentuate its beauty, the calming scenic piece of heaven truly was breathtaking.
“Wow,” I gasped with pure delight. “This is so amazing.” How could one leave this place? I had only been here less than an hour, and I already felt attached to the house. How odd was that?
Hugo gave a soft chuckle. “I’ve made tomato soup, cheese omelet, roasted potatoes, and I just heated a loaf of bread in the oven. I hope that’ll satisfy your hunger.”
“Well, that’s quite impressive. You didn’t have to go through the trouble, but thank you all the same, Hugo.” It was moments like these that made me fall for him even more. He was just too much of everything. It was sinful.
He raked a hand through his hair before pulling a chair out for me to sit on. “Why don’t you take a seat, and I’ll bring the food over. Would you like red or white to go with your meal?” he asked just as I took the seat, feeling somewhat of a fraud that this man was being so nice to me when I was hiding the biggest secret of all.
Quickly shaking my head, I softly declined his offer and opted for tea, instead. Hopefully, chamomile would soothe the tension in my body and the lingering feeling of nausea lurking in the background, waiting for the opportunity to make me suffer a little.
It was idiotic really, but I couldn’t help feeling as though I was a girl on the first date with her crush. For me to even compare it to that was beyond moronic, but the feeling surely fit. He had gone overboard on serving me, and it was beyond endearing.
Although he wasn’t truly hungry, he obliged himself as he casually recalled his fond memories, his fascination with fast cars, and how he had grown up basically all by himself after his mother died and his father withdrew. He had been forced to figure things out on his own.
As he went on with his spiel, I stayed mum. There was a satisfying factor to simply watching and listening to him talk. I knew I was in love with the man, but each and every time I was reminded of it, I would be bombarded with emotions so profound it never failed to make my heart ache. What made it worse was the fact that I had to hide it, pretend as though this man didn’t mean the world to me. It was unreciprocated, but it didn’t alter the fact that I was irrevocably, madly crazy about him.
“Care for any dessert? There are dark chocolate éclairs and raspberry mousse in the fridge if you’d like.” His eyes lingered on my face, thoughtful.
Blushing, I reluctantly declined his offer. “I already ate too much. I don’t think my tummy can take any more food. I’ll be as fat as a house if I don’t watch what I eat.” Fuck, that was a close reference to my condition. If I knew any better, I would shut the fuck up!
“Even if you gained weight, I doubt it’d tarnish your beauty, Isobel.”
Damn it to hell. Why did he have to say such gushy things to me? Why couldn’t he go back to that angry, barking madman of a few hours ago? I could easily protect myself from that, but from this? It was too hard.
Not wanting to dwell on such a tricky subject, I feigned a yawn as my eyes scouted around the walls, hoping to find a clock to tell the time. “It’s getting late. By the way, thank you for supper. It was really delicious.” It was. I wasn’t sure if my renewed appetite was because the food was simply superb or the fact that he had specifically made it for me. Whatever it was, I knew I would have a good night’s sleep tonight, something I dearly looked forward to after sampling how divine the bed was earlier on. But before I could get on my merry way, I knew I had to address the underlying current that was
going on between us and what had happened tonight.
“Hugo, I just want to say that none of this … You shouldn’t blame Julien, because I was the one who reached out to him. I’m sorry if you think we betrayed you, but I thought it was over between us.”
His jaw locked before he took a deep breath, throwing me a look that made my tear open inside. “One night, you were telling me that you would fight for me, and the next thing I know, you’re his girlfriend. What kind of bullshit is that, Isobel?”
“I made a mistake. I thought …” I paused as I prayed for the next words that would come out of my mouth. “I’m in love with him.”
“Such filthy fucking lies!” he roared into my face, calling my bluff.
If I was petrified of him before, it was a whole different matter this time. The man was simply red from anger, but I knew this must be done. I wouldn’t put this on Julien’s fate. He was willing to help me get through this, so breaking it to Hugo was the least I could do. It was my job. I needed him to hear it from me firsthand. The main priority here was for him to hate and shun me. By doing so, the rest would easily fall into place if all went according to plan.
Before I could say another word to him, he furiously got up, strode outside to the patio, and stood before the waterfall. I wanted space to breathe, so I gave him the same courtesy.
Watching him from afar, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I could only hope he was coming to terms with what I had just told him. I had known the confrontation was going to be ugly, but the guilt that heavily weighed on me was overbearing.
Just when I thought I had given up, all I had to do was recall the black and white monitor that showed my babies, and everything went back to perspective. Tonight was it. Everything had to be dealt with because I wouldn’t let this go on for another day. No, most especially not after witnessing that man who made my blood run cold. Thankfully, I hadn’t seen anything suspicious since I had left Miami, but after Paris and those two encounters, it would be naïve of me to think it was a coincidence. I had to factor in everything, and I knew deep in my gut that something was amiss.
Forcefully dismissing my thoughts for a later date, I immediately focused back on the present and how I would be able to accomplish my goal of finally dispensing Hugo out of my life. It was a cold-hearted move, but it was the only way I knew how to completely cut this soul-gripping tie I had with him.
Bracing myself, I stood up and strolled towards where he stood outside. Without preamble, I shut my eyes before whispering, “We’re getting married, Hugo.”
A deep, guttural growl came out of him as he spun around, stone-faced. “And to think I just realized how badly I had fallen for you.” He shook his head, revulsion apparent in his eyes. “I’ll have a car ready to take you back first thing in the morning. Goodnight, Isobel.”
Wait … What? Of all the reactions I had expected, this wasn’t it.
“Hugo…” I watched in horror as he strode past me. “You can’t just leave after that!” I yelled, but he didn’t look back.
He simply kept walking before taking the keys out of his pocket and going out the front door. It wasn’t long until I heard the booming sound of the engine roaring to life.
Scrambling towards the front door, hoping to stop him from leaving, I just took a step when I saw the back of the car pulling out of the driveway and into the stillness of the night.
Stunned and in utter despair, I held my hand against my chest as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. “How could you just leave?” I whispered. “You didn’t even let me say good-bye.” I knew it was coming. Still, the thought that I wouldn’t ever see him again hit me at the core.
He had said he just realized he loved me; how fucking sick was that? I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I simply fell apart, dropping to the floor and crying my heart out while one hand cradled my stomach and the other gripped the side of the door.
“Forgive me, Hugo.”
I understood now why some people ended up with other people, even though their hearts were owned by another. It wasn’t about following what your heart commanded, but doing what was right, despite it feeling as if I was gutted alive and my body was lit on fire.
Love.
No matter how powerful, sometimes it just wasn’t enough.
Chapter Sixteen
Hugo
I wasn’t sure how to cope or even understand the tornado of emotions that ran amuck in my heart and in my mind. All I understood was how this mammoth had struck me out of nowhere like lighting, spiraling my body into a jolt of highly charged and intense backlash that currently burned so severely within me.
It had come out of nowhere … and I had never felt more lost. It was like I was being pulled apart. I had been so terrified of falling in love because not only were the consequences severe, but I couldn’t bring myself to let my guard down. I would be destroyed once that person left me. Yet here I was, so taken aback by what Isobel had just announced.
I had been so caught up with her and Julien’s relationship that I hadn’t dwelled on how it must have transpired. Maybe they had been fighting a powerful attraction and they simply couldn’t resist any longer and wanted to be together at all costs. It was the only thing I could think of that would explain why Julien was willing to sacrifice his friendship with me. He was the closest thing I had to a brother, yet that didn’t stop him from usurping my place in her life without thought or regret. If it had ever crossed his mind, he most likely thought I would easily forgive and forget since I had already severed ties and had dispensed her designs on reconciliation.
The range of my pain varied, but what stood out more was the hurt of acknowledging that Isobel had fallen in love with my best friend. She was so convinced by her feelings for him that she was marrying him. How was that possible? Thinking to be in love with one man and claiming you were mistaken at a later date, only to realize that she was actually in love with the best friend? It was vexing yet quite typical of most women—fickle and downright unpredictable. It was a wonder it had taken this long to victimize me since I had enjoyed women at a very capable young age and had been smitten a few times, but never in such a way where the woman plagued my waking thoughts.
Even having sex with other women didn’t do anything to block out her memories, her infectious laugh, and the way she gazed at me with that certain look that would forever hold me captive. I loved the way she used to look at me, as if I was the only man in the world for her and nothing mattered.
Well, the joke was obviously on me. Her love was mercurial; it shifted like the sands, unstable and ever changeable.
Her betrayal hadn’t damaged me. It was beyond that. It had fucking broken me, and I was on the verge of losing my mind.
Driving manically around at this time of the night in the countryside normally would calm my mind, but tonight wasn’t any other night. I drove mindlessly for two hours until I found myself parked right before my family’s private cemetery. It was on the same land my father had built the chateau for my mother, but the Xavier’s had owned this estate for centuries. In fact, the old villa that was rebuilt in the 1800s was still there, but was now used as a shop catered to wine tasting from the family-owned vineyard.
My ancestors had mostly married for money; hence, they acquired more land and fortune along the way, but as time went on, my forefathers somehow diverted most of their money into building hotels and casinos. Even though our brand of wine was beloved all over the world, it remained the same as before, uninventive, without wanting to discover new palettes and tastes. Therefore, we were dubbed old-fashioned in the industry.
My father had stated my great-grandfather had once told him the only way to market our kind of product was to keep it simple and without joining the bandwagon that would hire a slew of vintners to concoct a new breed of grapes. We didn’t want our name attached to something trendy. We wanted to be known for timelessness, and that was what our brand represented.
Since my sole focus was branching out the hotels and
casinos, I had hired relatives to run the other businesses our family had acquired throughout the years. Although they were chosen to run different sectors, I still sat at the helm of it all, and I always got the last word when it came to making drastic decisions.
All the history, all the stories of success came to a screeching, devastating halt after my father’s brother died. In the light of that, I was always grateful my mother had died before any of that barbarity had happened. As much as I felt begrudged of my time with her, I wouldn’t want her to witness anything that had happened since then.
The stillness of the night consoled my troubled mind as I slipped out of the car without bothering to take out the car keys. It was another half a kilometer until I reached the entrance that had our family crest carved into the stone. I wasn’t really sure what had gotten into me, but for some reason, seeking my mother’s tomb felt like the right thing to do.
The fresh-scented air hit me as I trudged my way towards her resting place. When was the last time I had visited her? Far too long ago, it seemed. Although, I knew very well my father tried to visit once or twice a week.
Even though my father had moved on and had relationships, he said no woman could replace my mother, that no one came close. And I supposed it was just as well. The burden that came with loving someone was just too high a price. I had ingrained this in my mind, and even though I had denied it for so long, the plain fact remained the same, unchanged.
There was no future with me. I knew that all too well. And if I was any better, I would rejoice in this fact and the fact that Isobel was gone from my life. I could carry on as if I hadn’t met her until I died, along with my legacy and bloodline. My mind was quite aware of this tidbit, yet my heart didn’t fully comprehend what my brain was telling it. It remained in pain, in mourning of the woman who had wiggled her way into it and buried herself there. She persisted within me, thriving, the symbol of what once was and a future that never could be.