by M. Malone
His dick twitched in his jeans and Rafe growled. “Down, boy.” Now was not the time.
He didn’t have room in his life for a relationship. Nor was he that guy. As much as he wanted her, he wasn’t an idiot.
It had been a while since he’d been on a real date. But last he remembered, women didn’t want to be with killers. They wanted nice picket-fence-type things. Like his sister.
Your sister’s with a killer.
Yes, but Noah had changed. He wasn’t exactly domesticated, but he didn’t have the same sharp edges that he used to have. Rafe wasn’t even sure that was possible for him.
He didn’t have time for this. If he didn’t get moving soon, he’d be late. Ever since he’d come back from the dead, he treasured the time he could spend with his family. He paused as he passed Diana’s room and hesitated at the door. What if she was asleep? He’d told her to go and rest.
Stop being a pussy and knock.
Before he could, the door swung open and Diana took a step back at the sight of his raised fist.
“Shit! I mean, sorry. I was coming to say goodbye.” Rafe had never felt more like a flustered teenager, stammering and sweating when he spoke to a pretty girl.
The thought made him stand straighter. He was known for his icy control. Losing focus was a good way to get a knife in your back. Just because he wasn’t in the game anymore didn’t mean he could afford to get sloppy.
“Right. Of course. You probably have a million things to do.”
Guilt pricked at him again. Maybe he should invite her along. It felt wrong to go out and leave her to fend for herself. However, he was going to visit his family, and despite how she got under his skin, he wouldn’t bring someone unknown around the most precious people in his life.
“Just need to run a few errands. Anything you need while I’m out?”
She shrugged. “No, I’m good. Actually, I’m really tired already. Which is ridiculous since all I’ve done is eat breakfast and take a shower. But… yeah.”
Her hand fluttered unconsciously to her ribs and Rafe realized she was probably in pain.
“There’s more painkiller in the bathroom cabinet. Just in case.”
She grunted noncommittally, so he could only hope she wouldn’t let pride stop her from taking them.
Not your problem either way.
With a little wave, Rafe headed out, making sure to lock the door behind him. The sight of her little wince stayed with him as he rode the elevator down to the parking garage and on the drive over to the penthouse that served as headquarters for Blake Security.
But as soon as the elevator opened on the top floor, his attention was diverted by the sight of Lucia holding his niece.
When she saw him, Lucia let out a little squeal that startled the baby.
“Rafe! You’re here. I didn’t know you were coming.”
He grinned, unable to conceal the thread of pure joy that wrapped around his throat every time he saw her. Especially now, seeing her all grown up and so happy. She’d been a sweet kid who had grown into a lovely woman. And now she was a mother.
“Hey, Lulu. Noah asked me earlier to come by.” He leaned down so she could kiss his cheek.
When he got close, he turned his head to kiss Lucia on the forehead and then placed a soft kiss on top of Isabella’s head. She blew a spit bubble and waved her chubby little legs in excitement.
“Look, Izzy. Uncle Rafe is here,” Lucia cooed in a soft voice.
He took her from Lucia and sighed as the baby curled trustingly against his chest. If pressed, Rafe would always say that Lucia was the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen, but he couldn’t deny that Isabella was a close second. She’d gotten the intense dark hair of her father combined with her mother’s big gray eyes. Then, somehow, despite not being blood related, she seemed to have gotten the mischievous nature of her almost-Aunt JJ. Which was evidenced when she suddenly sat straight up and held out her arms to someone standing behind him.
“Look, Matthias. She missed you,” Lucia commented.
Rafe turned and nodded to the kid. Matthias usually only talked to him when absolutely necessary and didn’t pretend to like him. It was the type of honesty that Rafe respected. He passed the baby carefully, noticing that whereas Izzy had been on the verge of going to sleep in his arms, she was wide awake as she stared up at Matthias.
Then they all smelled it.
“Oh, bugger,” Matthias muttered. “Every time. It’s like she saves it for me.”
Lucia looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Um, well, at least she’s comfortable with you!” She took Izzy back and waved over her shoulder as she headed for the nursery. “I’ll be right back.”
Matthias glanced at him briefly. “Noah’s on his way up.”
Rafe rocked back on his heels and let out a slow breath. It was odd, being part of the family yet still on the outside. Noah and Lucia had built something together that he would never truly be a part of, and he was happy they had. They’d fashioned a true family filled with people with ties even tighter than blood. It was something that had taken years to build, years that he hadn’t been there. Nothing could change that, but at least he knew his sacrifices had been worth it.
Lucia would never be alone again.
“Hey, you could have come back.” Noah appeared at his elbow, looking stressed and tired.
“I didn’t want to intrude. You mentioned you needed something.”
Noah glanced at Matthias before nodding. “Yeah, I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone.” He handed Rafe a slip of paper bearing a name that Rafe didn’t recognize.
“This piece of shit has been slippery as fuck. He keeps a very low profile online, which is why Matthias is having trouble tracking him. But no one does old-school tracking like you do.”
Rafe grinned. It made him feel a million years old to have the methods he’d been trained in described as “old school,” but there was definitely value to the manual methods. Plenty of people avoided leaving an online footprint, particularly because of how easy it was to track. But no matter how careful this guy was, it was impossible to exist without leaving some trace. He had to eat. He had to rest his head somewhere at night.
And when he did, Rafe would find him.
“I’ll take care of it.”
Lucia appeared again with Isabella changed into a fresh onesie. “Okay, let’s try this again. I wouldn’t want her to miss her uncle fix. No one calms her like you do, Rafe.”
He accepted the baby back and, for the next hour, walked around the penthouse murmuring softly to her. Seeing that her daughter was sound asleep, Lucia left to finish some laundry, which made Rafe think of Diana. He should get back and check on her. Take her to get something to eat.
“I’ve gotta go. Can you let Lucia know that I’ll be back tomorrow?”
Matthias nodded and took the baby. When she sighed and didn’t wake, he looked relieved.
Right before the elevator doors closed, he heard Matthias’s soft curse.
“Bloody hell. She’s soiled her nappy again?”
chapter five
The next day, Diana waited for about ten minutes after Rafe left before she jumped out of bed and started searching the apartment again. She’d learned her lesson the prior day. He’d been gone such a short time that he’d almost caught her inspecting the windowsills.
She couldn’t afford that kind of error again. This morning he’d said he was going out for some groceries to make breakfast, so she was pretty sure it would take him at least half an hour even if he only got a few things.
As she pulled open drawer after drawer, she was struck again by how sparse everything was. If she had to guess, she’d think he’d only just moved in instead of having been here for years.
Her fingers lifted to the chain around her neck. The half-dollar was tarnished as hell after all these years, but it wasn’t about what it looked like. Every time she touched it, she could almost hear her father’s voice. Luck comes to the bo
ld, Diana. If you want it, then you have to go and get it.
She breathed through the pain of missing him, an ache that might go dormant for weeks and then return with a vengeance that could take her to her knees. Over the years, she’d heard so many platitudes about death. It gets easier with time. Time heals all wounds. It was all bullshit. Because no matter how much time passed, she was still alone. Left with no parents, and brothers who regularly forgot she existed.
And there was no way to heal that.
No, there was no healing in her future. But there was something that would make her feel better—getting revenge on the one who’d torn her world apart.
The thought galvanized her, and she moved faster. When she’d staged the crash, she’d known then that she couldn’t take anything with her, so she’d left her actual valuables in the long-term hotel room she’d booked under an alias. Eventually she’d go retrieve her things. But for now, appearing helpless and needy worked in her favor.
If she’d gotten his psychology right, Rafe wouldn’t allow her to leave but instead would ask her to stay under his protection until he was sure she was okay. She shook her head. It was such a strange thing that there were some violent men who believed in protecting women. It was the most oddly contradictory thing, but she’d observed it before.
I guess he doesn’t feel the same obligation to be a protector when he’s out killing men.
Diana growled at the thought and then walked to the kitchen to retrieve a plastic bag. Not that she had much to take with her, just the makeup and the outfits they’d picked up when Rafe took her out shopping.
Just as she got back to the bedroom, the door opened behind her, and she paused. What the hell? She’d been listening for him and hadn’t heard a thing. It was a reminder of just what kind of man she was dealing with. Rafael DeMarco was not someone she could afford to underestimate.
“Hey, Diana.” His eyes dropped to the plastic bag in her hand and his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing? You’re leaving?”
The “without saying goodbye” hung unspoken in the air between them, and Diana almost felt guilty. Almost. His chivalrous streak had been a surprising yet helpful discovery. She hadn’t counted on feeling guilty for playing on it though.
Imagine that, feeling guilty for playing with the feelings of a murderer.
Diana squared her shoulders. “You’ve done enough. I’m sure you don’t need me hanging around any longer than necessary.”
“You’re not in the way at all. And I don’t think you should be out there until you have a safe place to stay. You don’t, do you?”
She didn’t meet his eyes. Keep it mild. Look sad.
“That’s really none of your business. You can’t tell me what to do.”
Rafe let out a frustrated growl. “You’re right, I can’t.”
Immediately Diana started to panic. Had she gotten this wrong? She’d assumed he would insist that she stay as long as she wanted, but maybe she’d overplayed her hand. Damn it. If he let her leave, she wouldn’t have the time she needed to search his place. She needed him to get comfortable leaving her alone in the apartment for extended periods of time.
“Thank you for what you did. I don’t know if I really expressed how grateful I am. You could have just left me at the bottom of that ravine.”
Rafe grimaced. “No, I couldn’t have. You needed help. I gave it. It’s what I do. Or at least, it’s what I try to do.”
Was that guilt on his face? Diana couldn’t process the roiling emotions stirred up by his words. If he tried to help people, why hadn’t he helped her father? Did it haunt him, the things he’d done and the people he’d hurt? Maybe that was why he was trying to help people now, to atone for his past. But either way, it wouldn’t bring her father back.
“I still think you should stay,” he continued. “But I can’t force you. But I just have one question. The guy who did that.” He pointed at her ribs. “Is he out there looking for you?”
Diana crossed her arms. “I know how to stay off the radar.”
Surprisingly, he laughed. “Not denying that. But no matter where you go, he could find you. That won’t happen here.”
She pretended to think about it while inside she was smirking. Finally. She was in.
“I guess I could stay a little longer. If you’re sure I’m not in the way.”
“You’re not in the way. Where were you even going to go?”
She shrugged. “A motel or something. I need to think about what to do next. My life is a bit of a shit show right now.”
“Well, as someone with a PhD in shit shows, let me tell you that it’s much easier to figure out what to do next when you’re not listening to a methed-out guy next door coming down from a high. Or worried about whether someone will break in.”
Diana laughed as she was sure he’d expected her to. “You’re right. And I know I must seem ungrateful, but I really appreciate the room.”
She dropped the plastic bag on the bed. “So did you get groceries?”
Rafe seemed more than happy to change the subject. “Yes, I did. Although I can’t claim to be the best cook. You’re going to have to settle for scrambled eggs and… scrambled eggs.”
Diana shook her head. “At least I can be useful. Or at least I can do better than just eggs.”
She followed him to the kitchen and gasped at the pile of plastic bags filled with groceries on the counter.
When she looked over at him, Rafe shrugged sheepishly. “You needed food. So I just got some of everything.”
Determined not to be touched by the thoughtful gesture, Diana approached the counter. Just because she hated him didn’t mean they both needed to starve.
“Today I have some work to do, so I’ll be in my room for a while. Then later we have a party to go to.”
“We?” Diana paused in the act of digging through the bags. She’d been counting on him leaving at some point so she could have more time to search the place. It bothered her that she hadn’t seen any indication of a safe. He would have one, wouldn’t he? Who stole a priceless jewel and then didn’t put it in a safe? Unless he’d hidden it somewhere else. Maybe where they were going could provide a clue.
“A party, you say? Where?”
He put a carton of milk in the refrigerator before answering. “At my sister’s place. It’s just family, nothing fancy. But it should be fun, and the food will be amazing.”
She kept her expression even as she mulled it over. It would cut into her time searching the apartment, but seeing his sister’s place could yield clues. And if everyone there was busy talking, maybe they wouldn’t notice her poking around.
“Sounds good. Now, how do you like your eggs?”
“Cooked,” Rafe replied. “That’s about as picky as I get.”
Diana picked up a spatula. “Okay then.” She hated to admit it, but if she didn’t hate Rafael DeMarco so much, she’d probably like him.
With a deep breath, Rafe knocked on the door, waiting until he heard her soft response before opening it. Diana lounged on the bed, reading one of the thrillers from his bookshelf.
“Are you ready to go?”
Diana sat up so fast the book fell to the ground. “Already? I figured it would be at nighttime.”
“No, it’s actually a birthday party, so it’s in the afternoon. We have time if you want to change or… do girl stuff.”
Her lips twitched. “I probably should. I’m sure your family will wonder why you’re bringing some girl who looks like she was on the losing end of a boxing match.”
Fucking hell. He hadn’t even considered that she might not feel well enough to go. “I should have asked how you were feeling first. Sorry. If you’re sore, we don’t have to go. We can stay here and hang out.”
Diana looked at him strangely. “You don’t have to miss a family party because of me. Besides”—a light blush tinted her cheeks—“I’m okay. The ribs hurt a little bit less when I breathe in each day.”
He wasn’t sure
how to respond. Was she just saying that so he wouldn’t worry? He was severely out of practice at decoding woman-speak. Sure, he’d had relationships of sorts. But none ever lasted for more than a few months. And none of those women had ever known who he was or even a reasonable facsimile of the truth. Three months was usually the mark where it became too exhausting to lie all the time. Even when he was deep undercover and he had to fully believe the story of who he was, it was still hard to lie to someone you were supposed to trust. In the field, that saved your life. But out in the real world, that just destroyed you.
“Good. That’s good then. But take your time getting ready. I didn’t mean to rush you.”
Another flush and she tucked a wayward blond lock behind her ear. “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Let me just maybe change into something a little nicer.”
“You don’t have to get dressed up or anything. It’s just a birthday party. We’re not formal people.”
She shook her head. “Yes, I do. Men don’t get it. I can’t show up looking horrible. They’ll wonder what’s wrong with you taking in a stray.”
Rafe stepped into the room and sat on the bed next to her. “You look great. And if I’m being honest, having you there will help me feel less nervous. Please come.”
Who the hell was he? He wasn’t used to asking anyone for anything. Usually what came out of his mouth when dealing with women were commands. Do this. Come here. Let’s go to bed. He didn’t have softness in him. But for her, it seemed he did.
She licked her lips, and Rafe’s eyes pinned to the pink tip of her tongue. Instant heat flashed through his body. Shit, he really needed to get a handle on that.
“Look, it’s not like that. Everyone will be cool. Besides, I don’t want you sitting here cooped up and scared. I want you with me.”
She licked her lips again, and he worked hard to stifle a growl. “You’re sure no one will mind?”
“Are you kidding? My sister will very likely roll out the welcome mat for you.”