As she waited for the kettle to boil, she stood thinking. She thought about how Trey had sent their son home early, probably so he could run off to his own plans. She thought about how his own father hadn’t even given Tushaun any breakfast before he’d sent him home, but how he’d managed to emulate his clothing to look exactly like his. She thought about how precious her son was, so clever, so polite, so funny, and she thought about who his father was. She hoped her son never ended up like Trey. In fact, she hoped her son never ended up like her either. She wanted him to remain clever, to go to school and make something of himself, not to drop out with no qualifications or start gangbanging like half of the people in these parts. She hoped he waited till he was married to have kids, not to come home at fifteen and tell her he got somebody pregnant. She wanted better for him, and she hoped that she would be in a position to give better to him.
She thought about how Jason was around Tushaun, and it made her think of the new baby she was carrying. This baby was going to have a good father, one that cared about it, not one that couldn’t last an entire morning with them. She didn’t know if her and Jason would work out as a couple. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t think they would. They were two completely different people, from two completely different worlds. She already thought it was weird that he wanted to be with her. At first she thought he was only doing it for the sake of the baby, but after his words the night before, she wondered whether it had turned into something else for him. She knew he wasn’t the lying type, so she couldn’t imagine him saying it if he didn’t mean it. She did like him, more so the more time they spent together. He made her feel good, made her feel like somebody important, somebody beautiful and intelligent, something she didn’t see herself as at all. She had gone through life having low expectations for herself and everybody around her; she hadn’t been raised to think she could do anything out of the ordinary. She knew she would never be a doctor or an accountant, and she was fine with that, but maybe she could be more than a stripper and a drug dealer.
As the kettle boiled and clicked off, her thoughts evaporated and she poured the two of them a cup of coffee. Once she’d stirred two cups of black coffee, she headed back into the living area to see Tushaun still colouring with Jason. The two of them were talking and laughing, and for a moment Dee stood in the doorway just watching and listening. She was amazed they were getting along so well on a first meeting, but she loved it. After a moment, she walked over to Jason and handed him a cup.
“I don’t know if you take milk, I forgot to ask”
“No, I like it black” he replied, before winking her way subtly before smirking.
“Did you just wink at me?!” Dee exclaimed, her eyebrows raised, but as she saw him smirking she started to laugh herself.
“You bad”
Chapter 21 – Five Months
Dee was in her fifth month of pregnancy now, and as time passed, her and Jason realised it was time they got more organised. While he was still trying to convince her to let him buy her a new home for her and the kids, she was standing her ground. She still didn’t like the idea of somebody buying her something so extravagant. She cared about what people thought, and she didn’t want them to think she was with him for his money, that she was one of those women who trapped men by getting pregnant just so she could take advantage of his wealth. He was adamant that he would convince her, and he thought it was only right that he set his child and the mother of his child up in a suitable home. Though he couldn’t come right out with it to her, he didn’t like the area she was in. He didn’t trust the people that lived there or the safety of the area. The gunshots he had heard at her place worried him, especially the fact that she didn’t even flinch, that this was normal to her; she’d grown accustomed to that as a normal, regular sound. He’d seen the type of people hanging around in the streets, drinking, taking drugs and generally being loud. The very thought of his flesh and blood seeing that on a day to day basis made him nervous, and he wanted nothing more than to just force Dee into accepting his offer.
While he was still working on convincing her of the new home, she had agreed to let him take her shopping for baby items, after all, he was the one that got her pregnant, so why shouldn’t he take responsibility of baby items. This was something that she didn’t feel guilty doing, so when he picked her up she had a list as long as her arm of what she’d need. Jason, in the meantime had organised for the shop to be temporarily closed while him and Dee shopped. There was nothing worse than being mobbed while trying to get something done, especially something so important. He knew however, that this may be the time that the paparazzi finally cottoned on to the fact that she was pregnant. He was prepared for the backlash and the questions, and after months of being careful, he didn’t care anymore. He cared about this girl, and the fact she was having his child made her even more special. Though Dee wasn’t aware of how the celebrity thing worked, Jason made sure he gave her a rundown of what to expect when they left the store, just in case. She did find it weird, but in true Dee style, she told him she ‘didn’t give a fuck.’
Jason took Dee to the best store he could find close to the area, and while Dee regarded it as an expensive store she wouldn’t usually come to, he told her not to look at the price tags, to just simply shop and get what she needed. It was a strange concept to her, she’d never in her life walked into a store and not looked at the price tag on something. It was a total foreign concept, a different world. She was surprised when she first walked in and tried to take a shopping cart that Jason pulled her away from it, instead, taking an electronic device from a lady and handing it to her. She’d never used one before and wasn’t sure what it was for, but when she picked a baby stroller she liked, Jason showed her how to scan the item and save it into the device. He said it was easier, this way, he could pay for the items but keep them on hold in the store until they needed them; after all, he was hoping she would be in a new home by then. Dee had rolled her eyes at him as he mentioned the house again, but the more it was mentioned, the more she thought about it as a reality.
Dee had never had so much fun shopping. She loved looking around the huge store, at the variety of items you wouldn’t find in a cheaper store, and not even having to look at the price. Nor did she have to struggle to get something off the shelf, as she’d realised over the years, most things she wanted or needed tended to be on the top shelf, meaning her small stature couldn’t reach it. After they’d trailed around the entire store, the two of them headed to the counter to pay. The woman simply read aloud what they’d added to check it was right, and then tallied up the money onto the till. Dee nearly choked when she saw what the final bill came to. It was practically more than her entire money for a year. She felt uncomfortable as Jason took out his card and paid like it was nothing. She’d never liked people paying for her, for anything. She was proud to be an independent woman who didn’t need to rely on a man. It was different to have a man pay for dinner, or a date, but to pay for your shopping, that was a whole other thing.
While the payment was going through, Jason spotted Dee’s stature and rubbed her shoulders affectionately.
“Don’t look so uncomfortable” he smiled, but she didn’t smile back.
“I am uncomfortable” she said, showing it in her face as the woman at the counter handed his card back.
“Relax” he told her, putting his wallet back into his pocket and thanking the staff. Dee thanked them too, and made her way towards the exit with Jason. As they got closer to the door, Jason took her hand in his protectively, and stepped outside the doors. Instantly, there was shouting from around six different men, all piled on either side of the doors. As they walked, the men followed them, shoving huge cameras in their faces, bright lights flashing every step of the way.
“Is this your new girlfriend?” one tubby guy asked, practically attached to Jason’s side.
“How long have you been together? Why were you in a baby store? Is your girlfriend pregnant? Wh
at’s your name sweetheart? Where you from?” The questions kept coming from either side until they finally made their way to the car.
“Can we just get a little space please guys” Jason asked politely, and surprisingly, the men did back off a little bit, allowing Jason to open the passenger side door and get Dee into the car before getting in himself. As he started up the car, Dee put on her seatbelt and relaxed into the seat.
“What the fuck was that” she asked, watching as the paparazzi men parted, allowing a space in the middle of them for Jason to drive away.
“Welcome to my world.”
________________________________________
That night, after Dee had put Tushaun to bed, she sat on the sofa eating potato chips and ice cream. She had developed a craving for both foods pretty much all the time, but just recently, she’d discovered dipping the chips into the ice cream and eating them together. Everyone had expressed their disgust when she’d told them but she knew women who’d had way worse cravings. Her best friend Shaneeka used to eat pizza with gravy on top, and Tip had said his ex Kara had eaten noodle sandwiches and a mix of butter and sugar, like the beginning of a cake mix.
There was nothing decent on the TV, so after settling for something mediocre to put on in the background, she took her phone out of her pocket and went onto google. She had been thinking about the paparazzi outside of the store since she’d left. She hadn’t had time to do any searches yet, as she had to pick Tushaun up from pre-school, make him something to eat and then bath and bed. This was the first time she’d had chance to sit down since then so she took the opportunity to search herself. She’d never searched herself on the internet before; after all, she’d never needed to. Now, however, she wondered if she would be on there. Jason had told her not to be surprised if her name ended up in the papers or on the internet. ‘People are very good at digging’ he’d told her.
She took a moment to pace herself. She told herself not to get angry if there was anything nasty on there, after all, if people really were good at digging as Jason said, they might know what she does for a living or where she’s from. Maybe they’d call her a gold-digger or something, she really didn’t know what to expect. After she clicked search, she didn’t have to wait long before a list of different articles appeared. The first one at the top showed the headline ‘Jason Taylor and New Beau Shop at Baby Store.’ She clicked on it. The first thing that showed was a picture of the two of them, hand in hand, walking through the parking lot. It was weird to see herself on the internet, especially such a candid photo of the day’s events. As she scrolled past the photo, she started to skim read the article. They’d found out her name, but they’d said she was 23, when she was only 22. They also knew she was from the Detroit area, and that she used to work in a strip club. ‘Great’, she thought.
Just as she hit the back button to check out the rest of the results, her phone started to ring in her hand, the caller ID showed it was Jason.
“Hey” she answered.
“Hey, I got a proposition for you...” he started, but before he could continue, Dee had to tell him about the article first.
“Wait – did you know there’s pictures of us from today on the internet?”
“Doesn’t surprise me” he replied.
“You weren’t wrong though, they know my name, and that I’m from Detroit. I haven’t read the rest yet but shit, how scary is that. Like, fuck me. That’s just creepy, checking up on people like that.”
Jason laughed lightly on the other end of the phone.
“Don’t read it Dee, you’ll make yourself crazy”
“I can’t not though, it’s just too weird. I might as well know what they know”
As she spoke, Dee picked up more chips from the open bag next to her and dipped it into the ice cream. As she finished her sentence, she put the whole thing into her mouth and began to crunch.
“What’re you eating?” Jason asked.
“Chips. And Ice Cream.”
“Together?”
“Yeah, it’s really good.”
“That’s nasty”
“You’re nasty”
Jason burst into laughter. “Great come back, you get that one all the way from high school?”
“Shut the fuck up” Dee said, but she laughed too.
“Anyway” Jason began. “I need to ask you something”
“Shoot”
“So, you know my albums coming out soon. There’s always an album launch party, and this year I’m gonna have it at home, in Tennessee.”
“Okay”
“I want you to come, like, officially, as my date. As my girlfriend.”
“What like, announce it?”
“Yeah. Nothing spectacular, just to say, ‘this is my girlfriend Dee, and yeah, she’s having my child.’”
“Really?”
“I just think people probably already know now so there’s no point in lying.”
“I guess.”
“Anyway, I thought while we’re here we could kill two birds with one stone, and you could meet my parents.”
Dee stayed silent on the other end.
“They’ve said we can stay the night before, so you can get to know each other before the party, and then we all go the next night.”
“Okay”
“Okay, like, okay, let’s do it?”
“Yeah. When is it though?”
“Saturday. So, Friday we get a flight?”
“I’ll have to ask my mom to take Tushaun Friday night, and Saturday if Trey doesn’t come.”
“Is he not taking him this weekend?”
“I’m just not holding my breath.”
“That’s sad. Well, let me know what your mom says.”
“I will. I’ll call her now.”
“Okay, talk later.”
“Later”
Chapter 22 – Flight
Dee
As the end of the week approached, Dee felt more nervous about the meeting with Jason’s parents. She worried what they would think of her. She wasn’t sure that she’d have anything in common with them, and she worried something would offend them, maybe her bad language or her upbringing. She thought of all the things that were pretty normal to her but could sound bad to people who didn’t know her or those that didn’t share the same lifestyle. The fact she was a stripper, the fact she sold drugs to get by, or the fact her brother was in prison. In her hometown, she knew plenty of women that made a living by stripping, it wasn’t something to be shocked about, but to somebody who didn’t understand why she did it or how hard other jobs were to come by, they could find it dirty or seedy. Selling drugs was also common place, mostly with men, but some women too. She’d been lucky in a way to have an older brother to teach her to sell properly, to sell safely, and to know how to avoid trouble. She just wished the same brother wasn’t spending time inside right now.
There were plenty of other things in her past that could shock people if they came up in conversation. Again, maybe not those in her neighbourhood, but surely those who had a nice upbringing. There were things that she’d been through, even at her young age, which had been hard for her to deal with, things that she didn’t like to talk about. There were plenty of things that Jason didn’t know about her past, but mainly because it had never come up in conversation. Dee had never been one to open up about her feelings, and she’d always carried around trust issues. She felt now that she did trust Jason, but a nagging feeling in the back of her mind always stopped her from saying too much. It was nothing against him, just the way she felt toward anybody and everybody. There were moments where she realised nothing that had been said or had happened so far had put him off her, so she wondered if revealing something to him would have that affect. He hadn’t been fazed by the fact she stripped for a living, he had met her in the strip club and had never mentioned it since. While he didn’t approve of her drug selling, he hadn’t lectured her or forced her to stop, and he wasn’t put off by the fact she had a son, in f
act, he had gotten along really well with Tushaun.
As Dee packed her bag for the weekend, she wondered what it would entail. She was nervous about attending Jason’s album launch party, and couldn’t stop thinking about who might be there and how she should act. He was introducing her as his pregnant girlfriend to the world, she didn’t want to act like some crazed fan the minute somebody she liked passed by. She was excited too, through the nerves. She had always dreamed of making it herself in the entertainment industry, and wondered what it would have been like to make it as an actress. She thought when she landed the role in that music video somebody might have noticed her, asked her to audition for something else, but, alas, she carried on with her normal life like nothing had happened. She still got excited though a little embarrassed when it came on the TV, but since it was years old now, it rarely did.
Though the plane ride was only a matter of a couple hours, Dee was nervous – she’d never been on a plane in her life. None of her family had. She’d not mentioned this to Jason, as she didn’t think it was much of a big deal, but as the time got closer, she started to feel more nervous. What if it was something to be afraid of? She knew people did have fears and phobias of flying, and it couldn’t be for no reason, right? She thought maybe she should have told Jason earlier, but what difference would it make. She wasn’t going to cancel the trip because of it, and she was sure of all the things she’d been through in life, this wouldn’t be the worst. So, she waited for Jason to pick her up in his ride. It had become a routine now that Jason picked her up, whether he was driving his own car or a chauffeur was driving. He’d asked after the first couple of times he’d picked her up whether she drove, and she’d simply said no. It wasn’t a lie after all, and she didn’t feel like telling him something so personal when they barely knew each other. Telling someone you got your license suspended only leads the way for them to ask why, and then you have to tell them about your ‘criminal activity’ –not exactly the best impression. She decided this would also have to be the answer should his parents ask.
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