“This is torture,” he groaned. “I can’t do it.” Ransom released her and stood, water sluicing from his body. Just as he reached down to pull her dripping from the tub, she reached out to grab his cock and, instantly coming to her knees, pressed her lips against him.
“Not so fast.” She whispered the words against his hard flesh, then, wrapping her fingers around it, sank her mouth over the head. Again his hands fisted in her hair, holding on as she sucked him deep, cruising her fingers around the base, paying special attention to his balls. They were hard, drawn up tight below his cock. Up and down she moved her mouth, swallowing his flesh and taking it as deep as she dared. Needing, wanting to make him come, she increased her speed, preparing for the moment when he’d tense and finally spill into her mouth, but the moment never came as he disengaged her from his cock and lifted her.
“Oh no you don’t. I’m on to your tricks.” Ransom flashed a humorless smile then stepped from the tub. Watching her as he quickly dragged the towel over his body, he finally reached out a hand and before she knew it he was drying her carefully, applying the cloth to her breasts, belly and thighs. After tossing the towel to the floor, he looked at her. “You want to take charge and I admire you for it but, honey, it’s not gonna happen. Not right now.” Then, as if she were a featherweight, he lifted her high and carried her from the room. His big king-sized bed sat in the distance but he didn’t take her there. Instead, he carried her down the hall and into the guest room. She drew a breath and started to speak, but he bent to her mouth and kissed her hard enough to steal the air from her lungs.
Once they were inside the space, he pressed her to the nearest wall, took the kiss deeper, then, with a low groan, he seamlessly lifted one of her legs and settled it around his hips, opening her body to him. His cock pressed firmly to her damp flesh, sending wicked pleasure dancing over her limbs. It curled in her belly, coiling tight, and her pussy ached for a harder touch. His body burned like a furnace, drawing her to his heat as she wrapped her arms around him and writhed to get closer to this man who dominated her every thought and brought her every desire achingly to life.
“I need to get us onto the bed but I can’t seem to make my legs move,” he said, his voice raw with lust. “You have the most delicious pussy.”
The things he said!
Breathless with need, she lost herself in his kiss and the feel of his body against her. His thick cock pressed repeatedly over the seam of her pussy, the movements slow and torturous, ramping up her desire. No other man filled her mind, invaded her soul or made her simply feel as Ransom did, and when he finally hoisted her up and carried her to the bed, she clung, wishing for all she was worth that by some miracle he might feel the same.
All speculation ended when he laid her crossways on the bed, her legs dangling from the edge and splayed open for him. He stood between them, a lamp from the bedside casting half of his face in shadow, and looked at her, his gaze moving over her breasts and her belly. Reaching down, he slid his palms down the fronts of her thighs, then took his fingers on a study of the seam of her pussy. Transfixed by the expression on his face, Lynn watched him, anticipation churning in her belly, and below the touch of his hands her thighs trembled.
She swallowed hard.
“You look so serious,” she managed.
He lifted his head, spearing her with a single hot glance. “Fucking you is serious business.”
Transferring his touch from her thighs to her belly and breasts, he finally settled his grip beneath her arms and scooted her higher onto the mattress. Without missing a beat, Ransom grabbed her knees, spread her open and bent over. His hot breath bathed her flesh a split instant before he drew his tongue along the seam of her pussy, tasting her flesh, wickedly eating at her until she writhed against the bed. Lynn sank her fingers into his thick hair as he ate her out and she met each lash of his tongue, reaching for perfect completion. It took her very little time to unravel as she helplessly came against his mouth, but there was no time to come down from the sexual high. At some point, Ransom had covered himself and her relief at his consideration died quickly as he shoved heavily into her body.
Instantly her quivering inner muscles gripped, holding on, milking as he blasted through tender tissues, raking over highly sensitized nerve endings. Again and again, he rubbed the head of his erection atop the pad of nerves that comprised her G-spot and a low, animalistic moan broke from her lips at the paralyzing pleasure. Ransom lifted her knees high and pressed them tight to her belly as he fucked her, pounding, thrusting through her channel. Held immobile and at his mercy, there was nothing for Lynn to do except hang on for the ride as he moved in and out of her body. Higher and higher he moved, grinding against tender, swollen flesh that ached for the feel of him, sending her emotions on a spiraling ride that rivaled the desire that whipped through her body.
More. More. More.
Did she say the words?
It no longer mattered as fantasy and reality blurred, as every sensation intensified until she spun helplessly out of control. Her flesh pulsed, every nerve seeming to tighten before, with the violence of a spring wound much too tight, orgasm imploded. Crying his name, Lynn flew apart, clinging and sobbing as Ransom thrust once more and joined her.
Belatedly she realized there were no more sounds from the gathering outside and, as Ransom drew back the covers of her bed and settled her into place, she knew it didn’t really matter. A woman living on borrowed time had no business worrying about others or watching a clock. It was time for action, for enjoyment and pleasure, and she planned to wring every drop from this relationship.
Ransom crawled into place beside her then gathered her into his arms protectively, possessively, and as he buried his face in her hair, she calmed, settling in until exhaustion claimed her.
* * * * *
Later Lynn opened her eyes, suddenly cold, and realized that Ransom was no longer beside her in bed. Sitting up, she glanced at the clock. What was he doing up at three? Ransom’s habit was to get up extremely early every morning and at this rate, he’d get very little sleep before heading out to deal with the ranch and all the labor involved. She knew events of the night past were far more intense than usual. Ransom was a serious man, so self-contained and careful, but tonight there was more. It was impossible to read his thoughts or gauge his moods and that worried her. No, she wasn’t the kind of woman to pry but if she could help? Naturally she would be there in a flash. Ransom was more important to her than any human being in her life. He’d been there during a most vulnerable time in her history here in Delight and she could do no less than be there for him.
Something was up.
She felt it.
Swinging her legs from the bed, she walked naked to the dresser and removed a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. After dressing, she padded barefoot through the top story, peeking into each room before making her way downstairs. Finally she stopped at the door leading from the kitchen to the patio and saw him. He had his back to the door as he sprawled in a chair facing the pool. It was lit tonight, providing the only light outside, and in the distance the red-and-white checkered tablecloths fluttered in the breeze. Apparently folks would come back out tomorrow to clean up the remainder of the mess from the barbecue. Focused on Ransom, who sat so still in his chair, Lynn noted the bottle of whiskey on the table and the squat glass in his hand. He wore only a pair of jeans and his bare feet were crossed and propped on an empty chair in front of him.
The door opened soundlessly but he knew she was there. He lifted his glass and took a sip of his drink. Ice clinked softly. He didn’t look at her. “Want one?”
“No thanks. How about some company?”
Ransom shrugged. “Sure.”
At that moment, she wasn’t sure if this was the right response and fear curled in her chest. An unshakable anxiety wound tight in her belly. Something was wrong. She felt it as a heavy silence filled the air.
She sat across from him at the table, sensing his need
for space, and leaned back into her chair as he again lifted the glass to his lips. “What are you doing out here, honey?”
The endearment moved casually from her lips and she wondered again why she felt so comfortable with him.
He kept his focus on the distance and she suspected demons lurked out there. He shrugged and topped his glass off with another splash of whiskey. “Just thinking.”
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was occupying his thoughts. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really but maybe I should. I was just trying to remember her face.”
Cassie.
Of course he was thinking of her.
Lynn stayed quiet and waited for him. Finally he sighed. “I was just a kid really on the day I buried her. I promised myself then that I would never forget her face.” He scrubbed a hand over his eyes. “But I did. Every year, the vision of her that was always so firmly in my mind has faded. What kind of asshole forgets something like that?”
“You’re not an asshole and you just need to stop this right now. Nothing will ever diminish the way you felt about her. You loved her.”
Silence stretched then he nodded. “I did. I always will. She was so special and I sure as shit didn’t deserve someone so fine.” He looked across the table at her. “It’s my fault she’s gone,” he said starkly.
“What? Ransom, no!”
He held up a hand. “When Mom and Dad died, I had hell, absolutely holy hell, making things work. I had Cooper and T to deal with and learning to run the ranch was staggering. I was just a kid myself. That day Cassie told me she was pregnant, and I just lost it.”
Oh my God.
“Cassie was pregnant?”
“Yeah, damn me. And what did I do? I yelled at her. I was so scared about the future and worried about money. Hell, I couldn’t take care of the ranch and her, much less a baby.”
Lynn’s heart ached for him, yet logically she knew that nothing would have changed the outcome that day. The universe had its reasons and sometimes all a person could do was accept and move on. Obviously, Ransom had not. “You were young.”
“And stupid. I should have known better. Cassie was an emotional woman and really sensitive about things. I should have held her and told her how happy I was and how much I loved her. I’ve relived that moment a million times over the years and I always come to the conclusion that I was an ass. I was never a careless man but that day… Shit.” He took another drink and put his glass on the table where it smacked the surface of the wood.
“I told her she had ruined my life.” Ransom shook his head, refusing to look at her. “She was upset and took off. I yelled at her and followed, but she was shaken and crying. I was a cruel asshole and it was the first time she’d ever run from me. The roads were icy. You know how it is here. We seldom get weather like that but it was a freak storm. I jumped in my truck and tore out after her. I felt so damn bad for upsetting her. I kept telling myself the whole damn time that I would hold her and tell her that I was an idiot and that I loved her and the baby she carried. Anyway, I rounded a curve about a mile from here just in time to see her lose control and crash head-on into that fucking tree.”
“Oh Ransom.”
She didn’t know he’d seen it all happen and that he’d lost not only his wife but his baby. Tears filled her eyes and she didn’t stop to think but stood and walked around the table until she stood in front of him. She didn’t say a word but reached out to pull him close. His head rested against her belly, his breath moving over her skin as he wrapped his arms around her and held on.
Lynn didn’t think it was possible to love him more.
Chapter Nine
The instant he spoke the words, told his story for the first time in, well…ever, he immediately wanted to take them back. He was an ass.
Then Lynn’s arms went around him and some of that big-assed wall he’d built began to crumble. He ached in his heart and in his mind, burdened with a guilt that he figured would live inside him until the day he died.
Lynn was warm and accepting so he held on and dreaded the day she’d leave him alone. It was a scary thing at his age, to see his life roll out in a certain way, only to realize that things were destined to change. In his heart, he knew he didn’t deserve a second chance when Cassie lay buried in the town cemetery. It wasn’t fair, and knowing he’d pushed her there with his sharp words filled him with self-loathing.
Words mattered.
If he’d had it to do over again, he would have done the right thing.
There were no second chances.
He believed that, but damn if he didn’t wish it were possible. Lynn’s body was warm against his face and he waited for her to say something, tell him what a creep he was for lashing out at Cassie all those years ago, but the words never came.
Drawing back, he scrubbed his face with his hands. Men didn’t cry and he’d rather be shot dead than let her see his vulnerability. Ransom shook his head.
“You didn’t need to hear that.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you told me.” Her hand moved over his cheek, then she went down on her knees between his spread thighs. “Ransom, I’m not going to preach at you because I don’t think that’s something you would appreciate but I’ll tell you a truth instead. Life isn’t fair. Believe me, we all have moments, regrets, words or decisions we wish we could withdraw. There just aren’t any do-overs in life but we have to find the strength to keep moving. Do you think in my job working with sick kids that I haven’t lost one of them? You can’t imagine how I would replay every little thing and wonder if I might have missed something or if I could have changed the outcome.”
She stood, and even in the darkness it was impossible to miss the compassion burning in her eyes. “You’re a good man, Ransom, probably the best man I’ve ever known. You’re careful, thoughtful, tough and restrained. You have so many commendable qualities that I couldn’t begin to name them all, but you must find a way to forgive yourself for being young. You were thrown by the pregnancy and all the other burdens in your life and though you might not like hearing this…you’re human.”
She backed up. “I want to tell you something else while I’m on a roll,” she said. “From everything I know of Cassie, she was a wonderful person. She was loving and kind and, I’m sure, forgiving. Do you think she’d want you to live your life buried in guilt? She loved you, Ran. She wouldn’t want this lonely life for you. Cassie would think, just as the rest of us do, that you deserve better than that. Now I’m going to bed, honey. Just promise you’ll think about what I’ve said and I will do a little praying that you’ll find a way to move on. I don’t know where our relationship is headed or if this is just a temporary thing, but I want you to know that we’re friends. You can always talk to me.” She hugged him again and pressed her lips to his cheek, then walked back into the house.
Left to his thoughts, he considered the lonely direction of his life and how damn good it was to be with Lynn. She suited him in every way and the thought of her leaving, never to return, threatened to carry him under. He’d never believed that love made a man weak but the loss of it? That was another matter altogether and he couldn’t imagine going through it again. He’d always considered himself a brave man but now he knew that was a dumb lie he told himself. Ransom could shoot off the head of a rattler without batting an eye or fight off the most vile kind of predator with his strength alone, but he’d never realized until now that he was the biggest kind of coward there was. He was afraid of love, of life. It was a terrible thing to admit.
Shaken to his core, he went back upstairs and paused by the door of the guest room where Lynn was hopefully sleeping. He rested his forehead against the wood and closed his eyes. He wasn’t fit company tonight and that was a fact. Taking himself farther down the hall to his room, he crawled into the bed he’d shared with Cassie. He hadn’t had the heart to get new furniture when she’d died and now he realized it was a bad decision. Surely Lynn must wonder why h
e always joined her in the guest room.
Yeah, he was an ass all right.
If he could convince her to stay awhile longer, at least until they could work through a long-distance relationship, he promised himself he would get a new bed and finally clear the closets of Cassie’s old clothes. He hadn’t been able to do it before but he was ready to dig in. It was time for him to start living again, and he aimed to do it with Lynn if she could find a place for him in her heart.
Lying in his big lonely bed, he closed his eyes and tried to shut off his brain. Would Lynn even welcome the idea of something more permanent with him? It was fast. Yes, he knew that, but neither was he a youngster. He knew what he wanted and pursuing her, figuring out how they might fit their lives together was something he wanted to tackle. Fact was, he didn’t want to let her go. Not ever. His decision made, he took that first tentative step and had a private little talk with Cassie.
I will always love you, he said.
I hope you forgive me, he prayed.
Is it okay if I move on, honey? he asked her.
In the darkness, a chill raced over him and though he wasn’t one to believe that prayers could really be answered, he felt her presence and her forgiveness. Finally, he slept.
* * * * *
The next morning, Ransom woke early. He peered into the open door of the guest room, noting it was empty, and then went downstairs for much-needed coffee and a bite of breakfast. When he walked into the kitchen, he saw Lynn moving around the space, still wearing her nightgown. Her feet were bare. It was gratifying to see how she made herself at home here. She fit. Something warm unfurled in his chest as he took her in.
“Something smells good.” He walked up behind her and pressed a kiss to her cheek as she scooped scrambled eggs onto two plates. “Here, let me take those.” He carried the plates to the kitchen table as she followed with the coffee.
“How did you sleep?” She unfolded a napkin in her lap and looked at him.
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