“He looked around and saw that the audience was entirely male. At the front of the room there was a small stage where two women, wearing only G-strings, danced to the exaggerated beat. As Ben’s eyes adjusted he saw that they were not bad-looking. They had nice figures with large breasts and prominent nipples. On one side a redhead was grinding her hips, her hands rubbing her crotch suggestively. On the other, a brunette was gyrating against a brass pole, pressing her large tits against the metal.
“ Bring on the stud,’ someone in the audience yelled. The chant of ‘Stud, Stud,’ was picked up by others in the room.
“Finally a man in a tux walked out onto the stage. ‘You want Stud?’
“ Yeah,’ screamed the men in the audience.
“ Say it again,’ Tux yelled.
“ Stud!’ the men screamed.
“ Okay. Anyone want to leave?’
“ No!’
“Ben wondered who Stud was, but whatever was going to happen he was ready. He walked up to the stage and perched on the edge, invisible to everyone in the room.
“ Okay,’ Tux said. ‘Lock the doors!’ Several men walked to the exits and, with exaggerated motions, closed and locked the doors. ‘No cops in here tonight!’
“ Stud! Stud! Stud!’ There were whistles and feet stomped. The rhythmic clapping was almost deafening.
“ All right. Let’s bring on Stud.’ Tux left the stage and the two women faced the opening in the burgundy curtain across the back. Suddenly the curtain parted and a man stepped out. He was dressed in black pants and black cowboy boots. A small black vest covered with silver conchos barely concealed his well-muscled, naked chest. He wore wide leather wristlets, a wide, black leather band around his forehead, and his long hair was tied with a black leather thong.
“Ben had never cared about looking at other men, but this guy was the hunkiest, sexiest guy he’d ever seen. Although Ben knew it was all just an act, it certainly appeared that the two women were staring at Stud with hunger in their eyes.
“As the man walked toward the front of the stage, Ben got a good look at his face, deep brown, piercing eyes, a wide sensual mouth, and a gold hoop earring in each ear. There was something of the pirate about him, lusty and pure male. Stud looked at the redhead and said, ‘Stay there. I’ll get to you later.’ Then he crossed to the brunette who was standing, her back against the brass pole. Without a word, he grabbed her wrists and pulled them sharply behind her around the pole. He pulled off his headband and bound her arms. With her shoulders pulled backward, her large breasts pressed forward, her nipples hugely erect.
“Down,’ Stud said and the brunette slid down the pole until she was on her knees. The man grabbed her tits and pushed them together, then rubbed the front of his pants against the cleft between them. With thrusts of his hips, he fucked her tits. ‘Great boobs,’ he said. ‘Who wants them?’
“ Me!’ several voices from the audience said.
“Stud looked over the audience, then pointed to a man on one side of the room. As the man stood and made his way between the tightly packed tables and onto the stage, Ben could see that he was of average height and build, wearing slacks and a button-down shirt. ‘She’s yours,’ Stud said. ‘Let’s see what you can do with her.’ The man unzipped his pants and pulled out his already erect cock. He pressed the brunette’s large tits together and rubbed his cock in her shadowy valley.
“Stud reached to a man at a front table and took his beer glass. Slowly he poured the liquid over the woman’s breasts until the man threw back his head and bellowed as come spurted from his cock. Applause filled the room and Stud yelled, ‘Later for the rest of you.’ The sound in the room grew to deafening proportions.
“As the exhausted man left the stage to return to his seat, Stud crossed to the redhead. He pointed to her crotch. ‘You were bad,’ he growled. ‘I saw you. You watched Tina’s boobs and you touched yourself.’ The woman hung her head. ‘Do it again.’ The redhead rubbed her crotch with both hands, her face obviously enjoying the feel of her hands.
“ That’s very bad.’ He opened the ties at the side of her G-string and pulled it off. Ben stared at her red bush, neatly trimmed to a small triangle. Stud motioned again and the redhead buried her fingers in the curly red thatch. Stud allowed her to continue for a moment, watching her obvious excitement, then slapped her hands. ‘Bad!’
“The cry was taken up by the audience. ‘Bad! Bad! Bad!’
“Stud looked at the men. ‘What should I do?’
“ Punish her! Punish her! Punish her!’
“A man at the front of the room grabbed his chair and hoisted it up onto the stage. Then Tux walked out with a short, brown leather crop.
“ Do it! Do it! Do it!’
“It seemed to Ben that, although the woman tried to appear frightened, her eyes shone with lust as she stared at the crop. Ben was amazed. This was all new to him. He’d read stories and seen pictures, of course, but here he was in the middle of a real scene. This was really happening, and it seemed as if the redhead wanted it. Badly. Ben found that his palm itched and the urge to slap her was almost irresistible. As the woman draped herself over Stud’s lap, Ben could almost feel the sting of his hand against her bottom. Shit. His cock was suddenly harder than he’d ever imagined. He looked over the crowd to reassure himself that no one could see him, then unzipped his pants and took out his raging hard-on.
“As Stud raised the crop, Ben wrapped his hand around his cock. The crop whistled through the air and came down across the redhead’s buttocks. She bucked and screamed but from this close Ben could tell she was getting hotter and hotter. Again and again the crop landed on her buttocks, leaving red stripes across white flesh. Tears filled her eyes, and yet she didn’t move, didn’t try to evade the sting of the crop. It was obvious to Ben that she was enjoying it all.
“ Eight…nine…ten!’ the audience yelled.
“ That’s enough for tonight,’ Stud said, ‘as long as you’re a good girl from now on.’ He pushed her onto her haunches and unzipped his pants. His cock was huge, bigger than anything Ben had ever seen. He leered at the redhead as he rubbed his erection. ‘Suck.’
“Greedily she took him in her hand, then opened her mouth and drew in about half of him. Her hand covered the rest as her head bobbed against his groin. Over and over she pulled back, then took him in. Finally, he pushed her away and, with the men watching, spurted come all over the woman’s face. Grinning, she licked her lips, then scooped up the come with her fingers and licked.
“Ben was close to coming himself, but he decided to take advantage of his invisibility once more. He climbed onto the stage and approached the brunette, still on her knees, tied to the pole. Would she feel him? He lifted her magnificent breasts and buried his cock between them. He looked into her confused face. She could feel him, but she hadn’t any idea what she was feeling. Suddenly her hands were free and she was holding her breasts, her head thrown back, a look of pure joy on her face. Ben pinched her nipples and thrust his cock between her slippery tits. As he pinched harder, the brunette’s face contorted and she used one hand to rub her crotch.
“He came. He had wanted it to last, but it was impossible. As the come left his cock and landed on the brunette’s chest, he could see it become visible. Then the woman screamed, obviously in the throes of a violent orgasm. Stud walked over and hissed, ‘That’s not part of the show. You’re supposed to come with one of the paying customers.’
“She panted, then said, ‘I don’t know what came over me but it was as though someone was fucking my tits and pinching my nipples. You know how I get when anyone does that.’
“ There’s no one here,’ Stud whispered.
“ I know. It was just so real.’
“Ignoring the brunette’s orgasm, Stud looked out over the sea of men’s faces. ‘Okay, guys.’ He pointed to several men, ‘Your turn.’
“Ben caught his breath and made his way to the door. He quickly unlocked it and, totally exhausted
, headed home.
“The following evening, he met Sue at her apartment. As the woman had promised, the mask had become just a piece of black cloth that morning. He had put it on and had seen himself quite clearly in the mirror, looking like a poor-man’s Lone Ranger. He had spent the rest of the day reliving the previous evening. Over and over he watched the redhead and the crop. Again and again he felt his cock between the brunette’s tits.
“As he settled on the sofa with his arm around Sue, he remembered the woman’s words. ‘Tell Sue about what you see. You’ll be very surprised.’
“ I had the most bizarre experience last evening.’
“ Really?’ Sue said, her eyes sparkling.
“ Well, it’s a bit difficult to explain. A woman gave me something.’
“Sue grinned. ‘Then she found you.’
“Ben’s head whipped around. ‘Who found me?’
“ Sorry. Continue your story.’
“Ben cupped Sue’s face in his palm and turned her toward him. ‘Something’s going on here. Tell me what you know about last evening.’
He watched Sue try to lower her eyes but his hand held her fast. He could read guilt in her eyes.
“ Okay. I’ve seen the Pleasure Parlor and I knew you wanted to see what went on inside. I thought it might give you some interesting ideas.’
“ What do you know about what goes on in there?’
“ My ex-boyfriend used to go there and he told me all about it. Did you see Stud? And did he spank one of the girls?’
“ Yes.’
“Sue pulled Ben’s hand away and stood. ‘Well?’
“ Well what?’
“ Did it turn you on?’
“Ben cleared his throat. Although she might not like it, he wasn’t about to lie about it. ‘Yes.’
“ I hoped it would.’ She leaned away from him and stroked her bottom. ‘Did you watch him fucking her tits?’ She rubbed her breasts, pushing them together beneath her sweater.
“ Yes, and before you ask, that turned me on as well.’ He watched Sue’s grin widen. ‘What do you know about my guardian angel? Did you set that up somehow?’
“ Is that what she told you? That she was your guardian angel?’
“Ben thought back. ‘Actually, she said she was a guardian angel.’
“ Right, silly, she’s mine.’ Sue sat back down and pressed her body against Ben’s.
“ Holy shit,’ Ben said as he reached for Sue’s breasts. ‘Holy shit.’”
Ellen had used her fingers to satisfy her hunger during the story and now she pressed the stop button. Spanking for sexual pleasure. She never would have imagined it, but the narrator made it seem so real, so natural, just a part of good sex. She wasn’t ready for experimentation to that extent. Was she?
She sighed, closing her eyes and enjoying the erotic images that whirled in her head. Kevin’s studio. The feel of the velvet sofa fabric beneath her naked buttocks, the smell of turpentine and paint mixed with Kevin’s aftershave, the feel of him filling her. Again her fingers slipped between her legs and rubbed her clit. The sound of Mozart in the background, almost drowned out by Kevin’s harsh breathing, the taste of his lips. Would she have enjoyed it if he had gotten a bit rough? She didn’t know but the idea didn’t repel her as it might have earlier.
In her mind the scene shifted to her dinner date with Jim. How would he be as a lover? Her eyes flew open. Was she really thinking about Jim in those terms? If she were to be honest with herself, yes, she was. “And,” she said aloud, “what’s wrong with that?” How had she changed so much in just a few weeks? Before she met Maggie she had been smaller, shy, unwilling to experiment. What had Maggie done to her? She and Kevin had only been together once but, with the help of the erotic CD stories and with Maggie’s encouragement Ellen was able to admit, to herself at least, that she was curious, anxious to see the variations that the sexual world held. Until now she had been peeking out of her cocoon. Now, although she wasn’t a true butterfly yet, she was eager to give her new wings a real try.
Chapter
11
Over the next several weeks, Ellen’s life fell into a pattern. She met with Kevin once or twice a week. He sketched and painted various views of her naked body and afterward they had great, toe-curling sex together. Neither, however, was under any delusion. This was fun and games. They cared about each other, but not in the deep, long-lasting way that would define marriage or even a semipermanent relationship.
She saw Jim every weekend. One crisp fall day they rented a car and drove through Westchester County, stopping at farm stands, drinking fresh apple cider and eating homemade doughnuts. They spent an entire day exploring the South Street Seaport area and another poking around Nyack with its quaint shops and restaurants. They took the Staten Island ferry, riding on the open deck even though the thermometer hovered close to forty degrees.
They got to know each other, too. She felt comfortable with him, relishing their time together as she used to enjoy her time with her sister. It was almost as though she had compartmentalized her life: Kevin for sex and Jim for friendship.
Between dates, Ellen did her work for the doctors in Fairmont, and sketched. She practiced the techniques she learned in Kevin’s art classes and those she gleaned from books on all aspects of painting and drawing. She also watched television, went to movies, and filled her time with exploring New York. One Saturday afternoon, she and Jim saw a Saturday matinee of a smash hit musical. As they walked out of the warm theater, Jim asked, “What would you like to do now? It’s a bit early for dinner.”
Since they had had a large lunch, Ellen had to agree. Jim had picked her up at her apartment a few times but they had never spent any time there. The play had been a rather sensual love story and Ellen found that her sexual juices were flowing. She gazed at Jim, his soft sandy hair and thick mustache, thought about his easy smile and great sense of humor. Why was Jim always relegated to the role of friend? She looked at him as a man and found he was attractive. How would that mustache feel against her skin? she wondered.
Ellen had often considered what it would be like if Jim made a pass, but he had never stepped even the slightest bit out of line. A few good-night kisses were as far as they had gotten. Although they talked at length about their lives, no explanation had even presented itself. Was he gay? Had he been so badly burned by marriage that he wasn’t interested in anything intimate? Was it her? Recently she had begun to wonder whether her newfound boldness was all an illusion. Maybe she was still the same small-town person she had been when she moved to New York. New hairdo, new clothes, new makeup, even her new sexuality didn’t change the basic person she was and maybe Jim knew that. It seemed obvious that he wasn’t about to make any moves, maybe it was time for her to ratchet up their relationship. “How about coming back to my apartment? We can share a bottle of wine and I think I have some cheese to nibble on. Then we can decide what to do about dinner.” Ellen could see the surprise in Jim’s eyes.
“I’d like that,” he said.
As she let herself and Jim into her apartment, she realized that the change in it was startling. Now it was warm, with the insipid floral oils on the walls replaced with museum-quality floral prints framed in silver. The tables were covered with pots of ferns and philodendrons. Cyclamen and African violets cluttered the living room windowsill. Ellen had bought several coordinated pillows to liven up the sofa and a small Oriental rug in deep blue, cranberry, and gold lay beneath the coffee table. “Nice place,” Jim said. “It’s comfortable, and just right for someone like you.”
“For someone like me? What does that mean?”
“I have always had the feeling that you might decide to decamp one morning and move back to Fairmont. I know you’re enjoying your art classes and such, but I haven’t gotten the feeling that you’re here permanently. It’s sort of like you have one foot here and one back home. I kind of thought that when your money ran out you’d go back to the way things were before.”
“I’ve noticed that when you say the word home you always mean upstate. I’ve tried to protect myself from being too disappointed when you tell me you’re going back. When you ‘find yourself’ I mean.”
Interesting, Ellen thought. Although Jim didn’t know about the extent of her lottery winnings, she had told him that she came into a bit of money and was staying in the city to find herself. She wasn’t sure what ‘find herself’ meant, but it was a good enough phrase to explain where her head was at the moment. Where was she heading? Strangely she realized that she had no more idea about that than she had when she arrived in New York City. She was just gliding. Shouldn’t there be more to life than just occupying time? “I never thought about it that way,” she said aloud. “I guess I don’t know what the future holds for me just yet.”
She opened a bottle of Chablis and they sipped. As they sat, staring into space, Ellen wondered what he was thinking. Was he wondering how to get out of this situation gracefully? Didn’t he find her attractive? “Why haven’t you ever made a pass at me?” she blurted out. Better to know than to wonder.
She could hear Jim’s startled intake of breath, then he just stared at the wineglass in his hand and sighed. “I’ve told you that I don’t like getting into anything deeper when I know it’s not going to last. I’m not sure I’d be good at a one-night stand.”
“We’re hardly one nighters. We’ve been seeing each other for two months.”
“Okay. If I were being totally honest, I didn’t want to rush things. Two months seems like a long time, but…”
“Is that all?” Ellen asked, feeling brave enough to continue the conversation. “Honest?”
With another loud sigh, Jim put his glass on the table. “Honesty’s tough. I’m a pretty lonely guy,” he began. “I don’t have many friends, and most of the ones I have are men. I have enjoyed your company so much for the past weeks that I was scared of something messing that up. You were so reluctant to have me up to your apartment that I decided that you weren’t interested in going further than just friendship so I forced myself to be content with that.”
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