by Kolina Topel
Quicker than I had expected, the tunnel made its appearance in the darkness. As I reentered the church, a realization hit. Alex had driven me here. There was no way I could walk—it was like 200 miles or something. I’d have to find a hotel close by and get home tomorrow.
Before I could solidify my plans, I saw Alex leaning against his car door. I don’t know which overpowered the other, anger or relief. As I walked past him, I stated, “If you think I’m getting in that car with you, you’re even crazier than I thought.”
“And if you think I’m going to leave your side, you’re sadly mistaken.” His voice had changed. It wasn’t the voice I was used to. It was hard and unrepentant. The Alex I knew was gone.
Before he could see my tears, I stomped to his car and slammed the door shut as hard as I could. I knew I was being childish, but I felt so hurt and betrayed. Even more than that though, I was torn. I wanted so badly for his arms to be around me, to rock me and tell me everything was going to be okay and that the last year wasn’t all a lie, that the past fourteen years hadn’t been a lie.
But he was just doing his job. An actor playing a part. I stared out the window with my arms crossed the whole way, and he never said a word.
When we arrived at my apartment, I got out and walked to my door. As I unlocked it, Alex sat on the ground next to the door and looked up at me. I made a face at him.
“I’m not leaving. You may not want to see me ever again, but I still have a job to do.”
Just as I thought, a job. I was a job. Nothing more. The man I loved sat beside me unrepentant as my heart felt like it would stop beating. I was not going to let him watch me die from the inside out, so I walked in without meeting his eyes and slammed the door so hard the frame shook.
I stood there for a moment, too stunned to think, then I opened the door all the way and turned and walked to my room and locked the door. I fell to my knees, then dropped my body to the floor.
This was a good place to die.
Seven
I was only acutely aware of the outside world. I didn’t feel anything. No hunger, no sadness, no fear. I never once cried. I never slept. The only movement that assured me that I was still alive was the shadows in my room revolving as the sun rose and fell and rose and fell half a dozen times. This was okay for me though. I didn’t know what my intentions were, but I lay there, not a thought in my mind or a fight in my body as I awaited the pain. Death surely wouldn’t hurt this badly. I no longer had any family, and the man I loved had lied to me for my entire life. What did I have to live for? Yes, death surely wouldn’t hurt this badly.
A loud crack opened my eyes and a gust of wind swept over my body. I closed my eyes again. This isn’t how I expected death to find me, through my bedroom door, I thought.
I smiled as I pictured Alex’s face in my mind. Not the new Alex that didn’t love me, but the old Alex that used to make my heart skip a beat at his sight. If I was dying, he would be the last thing I saw. Now with his face in my mind, it would stop all together.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Suddenly I was shaking. Violently shaking. Pain in my arms.
My eyes flitted open. Again I stared into Alex’s perfect face. This couldn’t be death. He looked too sad, too afraid.
Maybe it’s hell. I am a vampire, maybe I’m damned. This is my version of hell, seeing Alex’s face every day, tormented, and never being able to have him. No, his hands were warm on my face now. I could feel him, this couldn’t be hell. Was I dreaming?
He was mouthing words I couldn’t hear. Suddenly, I felt a fierce blow on the side of my face and my head bobbed to the right. Ouch. Did he just slap me? My eyes closed and my head fell back, my mouth open.
A moment later, a warm, wet feeling dripped onto my lips. I closed my mouth. Blood. A sudden overpowering thirst pumped into my body. I popped my eyes open and hissed at Alex.
“Christina! Snap out of it,” he demanded. “You have been catatonic for nearly a solid week. You have to get a hold of yourself.”
He looked angry. Why couldn’t he just let me die? I was happy with my memory of him. Now this creature was back and he had taken over the face, body, and mind that I loved.
“Why couldn’t you just let me die? At least in death my false memories of you loving me were believable and would follow me into the blackness.”
His face was expressionless. His eyes were dead, as dead as my heart.
“I have a job to do,” he said flatly. “It doesn’t include me carrying a corpse back to my father. Not yours at least.”
“So quit,” I spat and lay back down on the floor.
“Or I could call your mother and she could come over and get you up.”
“My mother is dead.”
“Oh grow up, Christina. Your mother loves you and hasn’t stopped calling since you came back.” He waited, but I didn’t move. “Okay then.” He flipped open his phone and began dialing. Before he finished, I jumped up and grabbed his phone, flipped it shut, and threw it over my shoulder.
“Not now. Not yet.” I stared at the wall in a daze. “It would kill her to see me like this.”
I walked into the living room and sat on my couch and turned on the TV. I would play along.
I just didn’t understand why he had to be here still. I could handle everything that I was. The fact that I would never know my real parents. The fact that I was a vampire princess that was supposed to take over a world of blood-thirsty creatures, half of which wanted to kill me. Piece of cake.
But losing Alex, that was unbearable. And now he was here, hovering over me. Doing his…. job.
“Princess,” he said softly. “I need you to know something.” He kept his eyes away from my eyes. “I never meant to hurt you, and I truly do hate to see you this way.” For a minute he sounded like the old Alex. “But things are different now. I have a job to do. And so do you.” A job, there it was again. I was a freaking job to him.
I got off the couch and stood glaring at him with my fists clenched.
“And what is your job now, Alex?” I spat the words to him, “Now that living your lie is over? I don’t need your protection anymore, thank you. I know what I am.”
“And you think that is enough?” he spun around. “You think that will protect you?” He shot across the room and back again. “You really think you are safe? There are others out there that want to kill you just for what you are.” He darted across the room and around me and then back again. “You are the strongest and most powerful of our kind, the only one of your kind, and they will stop at nothing to kill you.” He was in front of my face now. “And without training and protection, they will succeed.”
His hand was on my throat and he jumped forward, slamming me into the wall. What terrified me most was watching as he exposed his fangs.
I had never been that into fantasy and the unbelievable worlds that people created, but this was unlike anything I had ever imagined. He was both the most beautiful and frightening thing I had even seen. He truly looked like a monster.
“Alex,” I whimpered and closed my eyes. He was hurting me. My Alex was hurting me. This wasn’t possible.
Get away from me! I shouted internally.
Suddenly his hand was off of my throat and I could breathe again.
“How did you do that?” he asked bewildered. I opened my eyes and I was on the other side of the room. His expression was astonishment. “You’re a jumper!” he gasped.
“I’m a what?”
“Impossible,” he continued, paying no intention to me. “I have heard of vampires that can teleport, but I have never seen or even heard anyone speak of knowing one.”
He started walking toward me, and I hissed at him. He frowned at me.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Christina. I was trying to make a point. I just wasn’t expecting quite that reaction.”
I eyed him suspiciously for a minute. He may have been a lot of things, but he was still Alex, and I knew he wouldn’t really h
urt me. I had to get control of my emotions.
“Please don’t do that again,” I asked.
“I won’t. But you needed the motivation. How did you do it?”
“I have no idea. I just,” I shook my head, “I was scared, and I closed my eyes and, I dunno, I just wanted to be away from you.”
“Can you try it again?”
“Can you stay on your side of the room?” I asked sarcastically.
He smiled at me and put his hands up. “I’ll keep my distance,” he chuckled.
Hearing his laugh sped my heart and sent chills over my body.
“Focus, Chris.” His smile flattened.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
I closed my eyes, not knowing what exactly to do. A moment later, I opened my eyes and Alex was staring at me expectantly.
“Alex, I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel stupid. I don’t even know what I did….” I whined.
“Just try, I don’t know, picturing yourself somewhere else in this room and want yourself to be there.”
“Right, easy.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I imagined myself standing next to Alex. I felt like an idiot. I smiled to myself.
“Hocus pocus!” I giggled, and opened my eyes. Alex was glaring at me.
“Hilarious, Christina.”
“I’m sorry, but I feel silly.”
“Humor me, please. Just try.”
“Okay, all right, fine.”
I stared into Alex’s face. I imagined the face that used to be there—bright, smiling, happy, and me in his arms, his hands locked around my waist and mine around his neck, my head resting on his chest. I sighed to myself, washed the thought from my mind, and closed my eyes to concentrate.
A moment later, he cleared his throat, interrupting my thoughts. I opened my eyes and my mouth fell open. My arms were around his neck and I was looking into his eyes. A huge grin spread across his face, while mine flushed bright red. He quickly wiped the smile off of his face and grabbed my arms to pry me off of him.
I untangled my legs from around his waist and stumbled backward. I was mortified. I opened my mouth to try to say something, but I couldn’t find the words, so I just spun around to avoid his eyes. I swear I heard him chuckle.
“It’s fine, Chris. It’s progress. I’m surprised you already have the ability to do it at will. Most gifts take weeks or even months to achieve even sporadic success. You must be very gifted. Let’s try again.”
Oh great, as if I wasn’t embarrassed enough at trying to mount him the first time. “Just try to stay focused this time,” he said smugly.
I winced. He just had to rub it in. I walked to the other side of the room and refused to meet his gaze.
I learned quickly that it was literally a matter of picturing myself where I wanted to be and willing it to happen. I could close my eyes and I was there when I opened them. Even though I was terribly self conscious after my first, uh, mishap, I was having fun.
I’d never really thought of myself as “special” before. And okay, I’ll admit, this wasn’t exactly the way every girl dreamt of finding her niche, but hey, I’d take what I could get.
After a few hours, my hunger was becoming unbearable, but after earlier I couldn’t tell if it was my hunger, or my thirst.
I shuddered at the thought.
“Alex, can we take a break? I’m starving.”
“Yes of course. I’m sorry. I hadn’t thought about the fact that you must be starving.” His eyes lit up. “I’ll take you hunting!” he exclaimed and took my hand and pulled me toward the door. I tensed and pulled my hand away from him and backed away. He looked at me questioningly.
“I,” I paused, “I don’t think I’m really ready for that, Alex. I am still human.”
He smiled reassuringly, “You’re right. I’m sorry, a little bit at a time. You have done amazingly well today. I’m proud of you.” I relaxed my shoulders a bit. “Two grilled cheeses?” he smiled exuberantly.
“Make it three.”
He began to reach for my face, but quickly retracted his hand and stepped awkwardly around me and darted into the kitchen.
That night he took me out to “hone my skills” as he called it. We went out past Sellersburg to a very large wooded area where we had plenty of space and no distractions for miles.
Oddly enough, the first thing we started practicing was conditioning. Every night started this way. We ran every night for fifteen miles through all of the hills. We practiced my jumping until he felt it was “adequate.”
My favorite part though was when we worked on hand-to-hand combat. I would never admit to him though that all of the times I got pinned down were not accidental.
It went this way for several weeks. I was amazed by my speed and strength and the intensity of which I could hear, see and smell everything from impossible distances. I was also impressed by how far I could jump. Now that I was aware of it all, it felt so natural, and I wondered how I lived so long without discovering it all before. Alex said it was probably just because I never had a need for it. We spent hours out there every night, and I never got tired even once.
One morning as dawn approached (we had stayed out exceptionally late that night) Alex stopped to take a break.
“This is my favorite part, you know.”
“Favorite part of what?” I asked and sat beside him.
“Twilight.” He stared out at the sky, glittering oranges and blues as the sun began to rise. “It’s the most beautiful thing to see through vampire eyes. It’s also the saddest part of my life though.”
“Why?”
“Until this very moment, I always had to watch it alone,” he smiled.
I turned my head away before he could see the tears welling up in my eyes.
“Will you answer a few questions for me, Alex?”
“Anything.”
There were a million questions I actually wanted to ask him. Did he still love me? Did he ever love me? Why had he changed? I knew those questions were pointless though.
“What were my parents like?”
“Your mother,” he smiled, “was the most pure and kind human I have ever met—to her kind and ours both. See, your father had his hand in all aspects of the human world, politics, police, real estate—everything—through our human contacts. That is how he met her. She was beautiful, as an understatement, and he fell in love with her. He had never been in love before in all of his six hundred years.
“It had never been before, a human and a vampire, but as I said, your mother had a way to make people love her, so no one resisted.
“Your father, I don’t think there will ever be another vampire king who loves his people more. He took such a pride in his work, making our world safe, and advancing us with the times and forging our world with the humans. It had never been done before. There was something about him that people respected and loved. He had been our longest lasting king in history because no one ever tried to overthrow him.”
“How did he die?”
“We don’t really know.” He frowned. “We just found him in his room one morning, drained. We still do not know who killed him. Calpurnia searched everyone but found no answers. She blames herself still. If she had been closer, maybe she could have heard….”
“You loved him.”
“He loved me like a son, and I loved him like a father as well, not just as my king. He chose me to protect you because I’m a day walker, but he once told me that he would never have let anyone else look after his heart.
“He loved you, Christina. And he wanted me to help you when the time came for you to take the throne. It was his only wish upon his death. He told me that many times. He trusted Damascus, but he does not have Delano blood.” He got up and walked a few feet away. “Do you think about it, Chris?” He turned to me.
“Of course I do.” I looked down at my hands, “It’s just, it’s not my life, you know? I’m not a princess, let alone material for a ruler of a world I don’
t even really belong to.” I met Alex’s eyes. “I’m not what you guys think I am. I’m sorry.”
“Well you know, just because you don’t want to be our queen doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of our world. I’m sure Father would love to see you again. And they could all help me with your training. And I’m sure you have more questions, right?” He was excited now. I couldn’t rain on his parade, so I smiled back and gave in, and back to Sangre Real we went.
Eight
I was greeted again by Demitri and the guard members when we walked in.