Different Genes

Gillian lifted the heaviest of the luggage up the short, second, flight of stairs, while Louise placed the flowers in the kitchen sink and took her painting into the living area.

  “I’ve got to show you something, Lou, can you come up?”

  Louise rolled her eyes and climbed the stairs to the spare bedroom. Gillian was pointing to a power point next to the bed.

  “Look, it’s a movement activated night light, or you can leave it on all night. I bought it especially for you.”

  “Aw… that is so thoughtful, Gillian. I might be able to turn my torch off!” Louise paused momentarily, “Which reminds me, I had a very odd experience at Mum’s house. I must tell you about it.”

  Time may have aged their faces and their energy levels, but it had not diminished their friendship. Within an hour, the two ex-students were sitting together in a bistro, drinking wine and waiting for food.

  “Are you absolutely sure you left the back door locked? You might simply have forgotten. You had just buried your mum.”

  “I’m positive. And I’m also certain I left the desk closed. You know me, I’m paranoid about that sort of stuff. I’m telling you, if Bob hadn’t turned up, I might still be there. I was petrified.”

  “Bob does have his uses then?”

  “He’s a creep, but, yes, I was relieved to see him.”

  “And you’re sure nothing was missing?”

  “Nothing at all.”

  “Perhaps it was kids? The postman? A fox?”

  “A fox who can open the front of a desk… that’s a bit Disney!” And both girls giggled.

  The mystery had not been solved, but the wine had lessened its importance.

  After a shared starter of ribs and chicken strips followed by two pasta dishes washed down with house red, they walked the short distance back to Gillian’s flat.

  Gillian produced her laptop and, fired by alcohol, began to assert herself.

  “How long is it now, since you and Charlie parted company?”

  Louise did a sum in her head.

  “Nineteen years.”

  “And since then, apart from a couple of disastrous one-night stands, you’ve turned into a Victorian maiden aunt. It’s gone on long enough, Louise. You have no ties any more. It’s time to try online dating.”

  Louise felt an unexpected flutter of excitement. “For God’s sake, Gillian, do I have to?”

  “Yes, you do, and I am entirely impartial about men, so I can advise you. But first, I need to find my specs, so top up our wine, and I will be back.”

  Louise refilled their glasses from a second bottle and grabbed the laptop. She did a search for online dating. ‘Senior’s Dating’ was thrown up as the first option.

  “You have got to be joking,” said Gillian, as she sat down beside Louise and looked at the screen.

  “It might be a good place to start.”

  “Dirty old men, more like,” Gillian sighed. “Okay, call this a trial run.”

  Senior’s Dating is a service exclusively for professionals aged fifty and over. We recognise that the most successful relationships tend to be formed between people of similar ages and backgrounds. SPECIAL OFFER… Ladies up to the age of sixty-five can have free full membership for twelve months.

  Click here to find your ideal partner…

  “Told you, it’s full of dirty old men. They have to bribe the women with free membership.”

  Louise ignored her best friend and began to fill in the form.

  Name… Louise

  “You can’t call yourself by your real name!” exclaimed Gillian.

  “Okay, I’ll be… Elouise. Is that okay?” The phone rang. It was Catherine, and Gillian disappeared into the kitchen. Louise finished the form somewhat flippantly and clicked the ‘send’ button before Gillian returned.

  “Right, let’s fill in your profile.”

  “Too late, I’ve already done it.”

  “Can I see?”

  “No.”

  “Spoilsport, what about a photo?”

  “I found one on the cloud and used that.”

  “I hope you made yourself look sexy. Men expect it, you know.”

  “Gillian, I’m sixty-one years old. They will have to like me, as I am, or not at all.”

  Seven

  Senior’s Dating

  Simon was spending yet another Saturday evening alone. He divided his attention between Strictly Come Dancing and Facebook. When the Strictly theme tune became too persistent, he rose from his chair to boil the kettle. He lifted the almost empty bottle of wine into a cupboard to prevent himself from finishing it. ‘So little self-control,’ he mused, ‘That I have to hide things from myself.’

  In many ways, Simon was used to being self-reliant. His mother had died when he was in his early teens, and he had been left in the care of his well-meaning, but disorganised father. Simon had rapidly learned to take on many of the domestic tasks, previously assigned to his mother. He had a strong bond with his father, but was often, by necessity, left alone to look after himself. He had compensated for his solitary existence by spending a disproportionate amount of time with his technical drawing board, learning about the early developments in computer technology and design, which had predated the first wave of home computers. His father had been relieved, when university threw Simon back into a wider social environment, and his son fell in love with a succession of girlfriends. His father was therefore surprised that Simon didn’t find a wife while at university. He worried that Simon had developed a rather idealised and outdated view of women, brought about by the untimely death of his mother. Simon’s final choice of Julie to be his wife some years later tended to confirm this. His pretty young wife was an accomplished homemaker, but not a great thinker. Simon instinctively knew his father had been concerned. However, the arrival of two grandsons had drawn the whole family together. Simon was pleased his divorce with Julie had happened after his father died. He would not have enjoyed explaining a situation, which Simon perceived as partly his own fault. He refused to forgive Julie, and had insisted on the divorce, but he hated living alone. It brought back all the unwelcome memories of his solitary teenage years. He was well able to look after himself, but he needed to feel loved.

  With mug of tea in hand, he grabbed his reading glasses and returned to his laptop. A new advert had appeared at the top of his Facebook page.

  Meet Senior Singles in Your Area

  ‘I suppose it makes a change from funeral plan adverts,’ thought Simon, and he clicked on the link.

  “Come on then, find me an old lady to date!” he spoke out loud to his computer.

  Senior’s Dating is a service exclusively for professionals aged fifty and over. We recognise that the most successful relationships tend to be formed between people of similar ages and backgrounds.

  Click here to find your ideal partner…

  Simon clicked.

  He filled in the boxes.

  Age range fifty to seventy, male, heterosexual, retired website designer, self-employed. Area, Sussex, Surrey, Kent.

  He pressed enter.

  Several female faces appeared on his screen. Simon scrolled through the photos.

  “Too old, too plastic, too ugly… God, Simon, you are so shallow. Keep looking.”

  He finally selected two appealing faces for further consideration.

  Name Clarissa. Widow, retired civil servant. Interests dog walking, religion….

  “Religion, no thank you.”

  He made one last try.

  Name Elouise. Non-smoker, Divorced, Retired teacher. Interests, painting, theatre.

  He lifted his hands from the keyboard and looked at her photo again.

  “Maybe.”

  He clicked for more details.

  In ord
er to see this member’s full profile and access the exciting world of Senior’s Dating, you need to pay the introductory fee and register as a full member.

  He pressed the back key to return to her picture. A different set of faces had appeared.

  “Dammit. They’ve got me.”

  He registered and paid the £25 fee.

  We recommend that you take time to fill in your profile details and include a recent photo. This is how our thousands of members will find you. In the meantime, feel free to browse and search our member gallery.

  He clicked ‘search by name’.

  Search for Elouise… twenty-six profiles with name Elouise.

  Narrow search by area…

  Sussex, Surrey, Kent… three profiles.

  “Found her!”

  Hi. My name is Elouise, well it isn’t really, but you’re not supposed to give your real name, and you have to write something. I used to be a teacher of English and Art, but now I am retired. I have purchased a small studio and I spend a lot of time painting watercolours. I live in East Sussex, about ten miles from the coast.

  Simon clicked ‘save to favourites’ on her name.

  He googled a map of the Sussex coast. Lewes, Hailsham, Battle even? He wondered where she lived.

  He returned to her profile. She looked vaguely familiar.

  He searched for a relevant FAQ.

  Q. What happens if I find someone I know?

  A. We have thousands of members, so this is very unlikely. If you think you know someone we suggest you move on to a different profile.

  Simon decided to ignore this advice.

  Q. How many profiles should I contact?

  A. We would recommend at least five. Our members, especially the women, are often in demand, so you probably won’t get to meet the first profile that appeals to you.

  Q. How do I make contact with a member?

  A. Once you have filled in your own profile, you can choose to send it to up to ten members at a time. If they agree to make contact, the site will open up a chat box between you.

  Eight

  Contact

  Despite pressure from Gillian, Louise chose not to initiate contact with anyone on the Senior’s Dating site, while she was staying in Brighton. The women spent two very enjoyable evenings perusing male profiles and giggling, but Louise would not agree to take the matter further. She felt a bit guilty about the way she and Gillian were poking fun at the profiles. Their favourite phrase became “Own teeth or falsies?” and then they would erupt into fits of laughter. Louise was adamant that she would only chat to someone, if he made the first contact. However, she did secretly feel disappointed when she heard nothing for the following two days. Then, unexpectedly, she noticed an email from Senior’s Dating on the Saturday morning, just as she was loading her car to leave Brighton.

  Congratulations. Your profile is now live on the Senior’s Dating Site. Within the next forty-eight hours you will receive details of any members who have asked to make contact with you.

  Good luck, and Happy Dating!

  Gillian noticed that Louise was stood by her car reading the screen of her phone.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes fine. It’s just an update from the house-clearance people. I’ll deal with it when I get home.”

  Within five minutes, Louise was on her way. She left the main A27 at Lewes and chose to take a more rural route via Ringmer and Hailsham. She drove along country roads as far as Battle, then headed north to Robertsbridge. The trees were just beginning to show the first signs of their October colours, and Louise became engrossed in an imagined watercolour palette of autumn shades. She was home by mid-morning.

  Once more she climbed the staircase to her studio with a suitcase in each hand. ‘I’d better find a man with a strong back,’ she joked with herself.

  She delayed turning on her computer for as long as she could by unpacking her case, sorting the washing, loading the washing machine and opening her mail. There was indeed a letter from the House Clearance Company. They offered a small payment as balance after clearance. Louise knew she should really get a second quote, but she didn’t want the trouble. She would deal with it later.

  With coffee and a sandwich on the table in front of her, she finally switched on her laptop and reread in detail the email from Senior’s Dating. There was a list of recommendations for personal safety when making contact, and a warning not to be disappointed if only a few names requested contact. She began to regret allowing Gillian and two bottles of wine to tempt her into completing the profile form. When no email arrived the following day, she felt even more despondent. She occupied herself for the rest of her Sunday by mixing palettes of red and gold colours inspired by her drive back from Brighton. When there was still no message in her inbox at the end of the weekend, she assumed that no one was interested in her. Her night time was filled with dreams of rejection and hands pulling her away from loved ones. She was relieved to wake up. Her buzzing phone told her that it was Monday morning, and an email was waiting. It was from Senior’s Dating.

  Since your profile went live forty-eight hours ago, the following members have requested to make contact with you. You can click on their profiles below.

  There was a list of twenty-three men.

  “Cripes!”

  The twenty-three names were each listed with a very short summary.

  John, sixty-five, separated, retired teacher, location Lewes

  Stephen, sixty-seven, divorced, builder, location Hastings

  Malcolm, sixty-two, widower, accountant, location Tunbridge Wells

  Chris, sixty-nine, divorced, retired engineer, location Bexhill

  And that was just the first four! Louise decided it would take her ages to work through the entire list of twenty-three names. She clicked on John’s name. A photo of an overweight man smiling with crooked teeth popped up on her screen. She cringed, and then felt guilty for giving so much importance to a photograph. She needed a way to help her to decide how to order the profiles. She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote notes.

  ‘Age… must be sixty-five or under. Worried that someone older might need a carer before too long.

  Location… preferably within ten miles. Don’t want to travel too far.

  Marital status… disregard separated, too much possible baggage. Divorced okay. Widower, too much to live up to.

  Photograph… try not to take into account, but no tattoos.’

  It was a start.

  None of the first four names fitted her criteria, but out of twenty-three names she found three possibles.

  Graham, sixty-three, non-smoker, divorced, retired Maths teacher, Hastings

  Philip, sixty, non-smoker, divorced, estate agent, Bexhill

  Simon, sixty-two, non-smoker, divorced, retired website designer, Battle

  Louise clicked on each profile in order.

  Graham (‘nice photo’, she thought, ignoring her own guidelines.) He was wearing a pale blue, short-sleeved shirt and had a gentle smile. She read his ‘About Me’ paragraph.

  Hi, I’m Graham. I took early retirement from teaching for mental health reasons two years ago. Actually, I think they were desperate to get rid of me anyway. My divorce came through six months ago, so I’m trying to get my life back together. I’m hoping someone on this site can help me. I like pubs, takeaways, and sixties music.

  Louise didn’t read any more. “Sorry Graham, I appreciate your honesty, but I want to be a date, not a therapist.”

  Philip (very smart photo of a neat man in a well-tailored suit and tie)

  My name is Philip, and I own a chain of estate agents along the South Coast. I am hoping to hand the business over to my son in the next few years. I own a large bungalow in Bexhill, and a villa in Southern Spain. I was divorced se
veral years ago and am looking for someone to share my retirement with.

  ‘Different,’ thought Louise. ‘It would be fun to paint watercolours in Spain. I wonder if I am well enough appointed or considered in need of refurbishment?’ She kept Philip on the list.

  Simon (good looking in photo, interesting face, but photo could be deceptive)

  I’m Simon, a retired website designer, though I still do a bit of part-time work for ex-clients. I like exploring new places, walking and eating out. I am pretty easy-going really. I enjoy seeing my sons and grandchild, and I keep busy, but I miss female company. It’s lonely living on your own. I own a house in Battle.

  ‘Difficult to say about this one,’ Louise said to herself. ‘What does easy-going mean, I wonder?’

  She left Simon on the list.

  Without looking any more, she closed her computer, and went for a walk through the village. She stopped for a baguette at ‘The Ostrich’. Sam, the barman, greeted her. “Hi Louise, you been away? I haven’t seen you for ages.”

  I stayed at Mum’s after the funeral, and then went to Brighton to stay with Gillian for a couple of days.”

  “Oh, of course, sorry, I forgot about your mum. How did it go?”

  “It was okay, you know how it is.” And Sam turned to serve another customer, while Louise sat on her own and ate her lunch. She suddenly felt very isolated and longed to be able to telephone her mother. Fearful that a tear might appear on her cheek, she soon left the pub and returned to her studio. She switched on her computer and returned to the email from Senior’s Dating. She clicked the link ALLOW CONTACT for Philip and Simon.

  Feeling a mixture of emotions, Louise decided to calm her nerves by starting a new painting. She imagined a Spanish village of whitewashed houses and orange groves and used a soft pencil to outline the scene onto a large sheet of cartridge paper attached to an easel. She added two chickens and a stray donkey meandering down the cobbled street.

  “If only…”

  Nine

  The Estate Agent