by K J Taylor
‘We’re yours, Chosen One,’ said Wittock. ‘We’ll follow you wherever you lead.’
‘Just say where,’ Rigby added.
‘I really don’t think –’ Northrop began, but Tannock smacked him in the side of the head to shut him up.
‘Right,’ said Ambit, hastily taking the initiative, ‘I think it’s obvious what we need to do now. Princess Etarina has been taken prisoner by the demons, and by now she must be at the First Mountain with the demon king. They must be planning to use her as a hostage. And Northrop’s right. It’s my fault she was captured. I took her to Daisyfield, and I didn’t do enough to stop the demons when they came looking for her.’
‘You didn’t do anything,’ said Northrop.
‘In my defence, they weren’t after her at the start. They were after you,’ said Ambit, wanting to make the hero look as bad as possible as quickly as possible. ‘You were the one who was going into demon country and attacking them. They came to put a stop to you. It’s just bad luck the princess was there as well. Anyway, now the demon king’s got her he might be doing anything to her. As the Chosen One, it’s my duty to go and rescue her, and I’ll need your help. What do you say?’
‘We have to get her out of there!’ said Rigby.
‘Absolutely,’ said Tannock, ‘and maybe we can have a go at killing the demon king while we’re there.’
‘Yeah, why not?’ said Ambit. ‘Uh, I mean, yes, absolutely. If the demon king dies, it could put a stop to the demon invasion forever. We could free the princess and save the Land of Flowers in one mighty blow. Who’s with me?’ With that he sat back, feeling rather pleased with himself.
‘Let’s do it!’ said Rigby.
The others spoke up to agree with him, or at least nodded enthusiastic agreement. Or most of them did.
‘Why don’t we go to Lucknow first?’ said Wittock. ‘We could go and see our own king, and offer him our support.’
‘What would be the point of that?’ said Elyne. ‘We wouldn’t have anything for him. We should set his daughter free and take her back. Without her he might not even want to talk to us.’
‘She’s got a point,’ said Ambit. ‘I say we go to the First Mountain, and if we win out there, we go onward to Lucknow.’
‘He’s right,’ said Srawn. ‘We’ve got more important things to do than kiss the king’s backside.’
Rigby snickered. ‘Let’s go to him afterward. Maybe he’ll even give us a reward.’
Ambit rubbed his chin. Reward – it hadn’t really occurred to him before. He’d been far too preoccupied thinking about how to shake off the companions. He’d lost the bounty the princess had given him, and he wasn’t going to go through all this bullshit just to finish up flat broke. Maybe he could exchange the princess for the companions or something, or maybe once he’d handed the companions over he could ask the demon king for some precious stones by way of payment.
‘We’re going to the First Mountain,’ Northrop said suddenly. ‘I swore to set the princess free, but I’m going there for her, not you.’
‘Suits me fine,’ said Ambit. ‘If you ask me, I think the woman might have a thing for you. She was practically batting her eyelashes at you before the demons grabbed her.’
The others laughed.
‘Don’t worry. I don’t think Northrop could steal her from you, Ambit,’ said Tannock.
‘I’m not interested in becoming king,’ said Ambit. ‘I’m not leader material.’
‘Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself,’ said Elyne. ‘You’re the finest leader I ever met.’
Ambit kept up his show of modesty, which impressed everyone except Northrop, but they eventually wandered back to the point of the discussion: they were going to make for the First Mountain and fight the demon king if possible. At the very least, they’d try to rescue the princess.
‘Right, I’ll go and talk to Snarl about it,’ Ambit said afterward. ‘I’ll see if she knows anything about that mountain, or the demon king. She might be useful when we go there.’
‘Do you really think we can trust her to help us fight her own king?’ said Wittock. ‘I mean, she might have helped us before, but this would be the ultimate betrayal for her.’
‘She does whatever I tell her,’ Ambit reminded him, ‘but I’ll have to be careful.’
‘She didn’t do anything to get us out of those cages,’ said Tannock. ‘She’s a liability, Ambit.’
‘It’s not as if she could have fought those other demons back there,’ said Ambit. ‘I already talked to her about it. She was biding her time. As soon as you –’ he nodded to Northrop, Srawn, Whitear and Deeble, ‘– came along and rescued us, she helped us escape. Remember?’ He stood up. ‘I’ll go and see her now.’
Along the way he passed the woman with the yellow bird again, who smiled at him.
‘I think I like you,’ she said, ‘even if you do have weird hair.’
‘Back at you,’ Ambit grinned. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Ana,’ said the woman. ‘You’re Ambit, right?’
‘Yup.’
Ana smirked at him. ‘I shouldn’t say this, but I think I just found my match at last.’ The bird twittered and fluttered its wings.
‘Well, hey, I’ll probably be staying here for the night if you’re interested in finding out,’ said Ambit, unable to resist.
‘I’d like to, but I’m attached,’ said Ana. ‘Tell you what, though. If that ever changes I’ll come and look you up.’
‘Please do,’ said Ambit.
‘You got it,’ said Ana. She winked at him and swaggered off.
Ambit watched her go with a touch of wistfulness, before turning to leave Blueberry Hill and walk down to where he’d left Snarl.
He found her curled up in her fire, apparently dozing, but she sat up when he arrived. ‘Well, and how did it go?’
‘She’s pretty cute, but I think she was just toying with me,’ said Ambit. ‘Shame. I like a woman who knows how to trade shots.’
‘What?’ said Snarl.
‘Oh, er, nothing. I had a chat with the others and we’re agreed. We’ll head for the First Mountain in the morning. I said I’d ask you if you knew anything about it. Do you?’
‘I’ve never been there, if that’s what you mean,’ said Snarl. ‘So I don’t know anything about the mountain, except that it’s said to be the biggest of the nine.’
‘No surprises,’ said Ambit. ‘What about the demon king? Know anything about him?’
Snarl yawned while she thought it over. ‘Every demon knows about the demon king,’ she said slowly. ‘We grow up hearing stories. He’s said to be the biggest of all demons, and the oldest. He grew out of the living rock of the First Mountain like all our ancestors, but he never parted from it the way the rest of us did. He stayed part of the mountain. Some say he is the mountain. He was the very first to be born, and all other demons were his sons and daughters.’
‘Sounds like he’s a demon lord raised to eleven,’ said Ambit. ‘Is he, y’know, friendly?’
‘The demon king is the wisest of all demons,’ said Snarl. ‘He knows all and sees all.’
‘Never heard you sound in awe of anything,’ said Ambit. ‘So we can’t get one over on him? And if he sees all that means we can’t sneak up on him either. Should make our job a bit easier.’
‘Well . . . maybe he doesn’t actually see all,’ Snarl said reluctantly. ‘It’s just something they say.’
‘Got it,’ said Ambit. ‘I bet they say things like that about the human king, and in real life he’s some fat old man who can’t think without moving his lips.’
‘Our king is far older than yours,’ said Snarl. ‘Treat him with respect.’
‘Are you kidding?’ said Ambit. ‘Another thing – I’ve lost my map so I’ll have to go and see if I can find one in the village. Is there anything else you reckon I should know?’
‘Going to the First Mountain would be suicide –’
‘Oh yeah?’ said Ambit.
/> ‘– if you were actually planning to try and fight our king,’ said Snarl. ‘When we’re close I’ll go ahead and tell them you’re coming and they can be ready for you.’
‘Just as long as they don’t kill us,’ said Ambit. ‘I’d like to be very clear on that point. No killing, no bone-eating.’
‘They didn’t try to kill you at the Fifth Mountain, did they?’ said Snarl. ‘Don’t worry, they’ll already know the plan. My king wants peace.’
‘Let’s hope he’s serious,’ said Ambit. ‘If I wasn’t so keen to stop the prophecy from coming true, I’d be miles away by now.’
‘Yes, it’s a risk,’ said Snarl, ‘but sometimes you have to take those.’
‘Yeah,’ Ambit sighed. ‘Oh well, I’ll get back to the others and we’ll get organised. See you in the morning.’
Blueberry Hill had a couple of hostels, but they were full, so the travellers would have to make do. Ambit found a shop where he spent the last of his money on a roll of waxed leather, blankets, dried food and a new map. He and the others split the load between them, and made a camp just outside the village among some cherry trees, where Ambit and Wittock studied the map together and worked out a route to the First Mountain.
It would take them about three weeks on foot, but the way didn’t look too difficult. They planned to follow rivers and streams a lot of the way, and most of the countryside between themselves and Lucknow consisted of valleys and quiet lowlands. They would only come across demon territory once, which was the largest patch of it anywhere in the country, spreading out from the First Mountain at the very centre of the Land of Flowers. The First Mountain was almost directly beside the human capital, so if they did manage to rescue the princess, they wouldn’t have to take her very far. Ambit sincerely hoped it wouldn’t get to that stage, for a whole variety of very good reasons.
Now all they had left to do was to start walking and hope they could scrounge more food along the way. Fortunately, everyone rejected Northrop’s suggestion that they take detours into demon country and deliberately pick fights with the occupants so they could harvest their eyes.
‘It would take too long, and we need to be intact when we make our assault on the First Mountain,’ Wittock pointed out.
‘We won’t be fit to fight if we haven’t eaten properly for weeks on end,’ said Northrop.
‘Don’t worry. I’m an expert on getting things for free,’ said Ambit. ‘And these days, I only have to say who we are and where we’re going, and people will be inviting us for dinner all over the place.’
Northrop gave him yet another filthy look, but in fact Ambit’s joke turned out to be completely correct. They travelled for a few days out of Blueberry Hill before coming to a large settlement called Grassford, which sat surrounded by fields of wheat, corn and other grains. When Ambit sauntered into the place with the eight companions and blithely announced that he was the Chosen One, the locals were more than happy to see them. Once they found out that the visiting heroes had no money and were running low on food, plenty of them were pleased to offer them some supplies. That evening, at the insistence of a couple of families, Ambit and the others were treated to a communal dinner. The Grassfordians served fresh bread, cakes, dried fruit and ears of corn – and, to Ambit’s joy, at least five kinds of very good beer. Snarl, meanwhile, had to stay hidden in a burrow she’d dug for herself and got no attention at all until around midnight, when Ambit staggered out to visit her and brought some precious stones he’d been given as a gift.
‘Having fun?’ Snarl asked rather sourly as she crunched on a ruby.
‘Finally, yes,’ Ambit slurred, ‘and don’t be looking so grumpy. You got something good to eat too. But y’know what, maybe being the Chosen Thingy isn’t so bad after all.’
‘Right now you’d think being kicked in the head was a great idea,’ said Snarl.
‘’S true,’ said Ambit. ‘Nice to be happy ’bout things for once, though, even if it’s beer in – induced.’ He’d somehow wound up lying on the grass by Snarl’s burrow, but quickly decided he was very comfortable that way, and so stayed there.
‘This isn’t very suitable behaviour for the Chosen One,’ said Snarl, selecting a sapphire from the little heap he’d brought her.
‘Ah, who gives a shit?’ said Ambit. ‘Tannock’s blasted as well, and so’s Srawn. Damn, I need a woman,’ he added suddenly. ‘I best . . . bet if I saved the day and became a hero I’d have ’em lining up at the door. If I had a door. And I’d be rich too and never run out of beer money. That’d be . . . be . . . that’d be just . . . all right.’
Snarl watched him in silence, smoke drifting up from her jaws.
Ambit’s head lolled toward her, and he gently patted the dead grass beside the small demon. ‘But if I saved the day I wouldn’t have you anymore, and that’d be no good,’ he said. ‘So fuck it. No heroing, not for real. Not my way.’
‘You’d do that for me?’ asked Snarl. ‘Honestly?’
‘Yeah, sure,’ said Ambit, and passed out.
Thirteen
After Grassford, just about every other village and town the travellers visited offered them food and shelter. Acorn Ridge, Sultanaville, Seedstop, Fern Valley . . .
Word went ahead that the Chosen One and the eight companions were on their way to the First Mountain, and before long they found people waiting for them, with welcoming feasts and parties already organised.
To his surprise, Ambit actually started to enjoy it. Free food, music, dancing girls, people patting him on the back as if he’d actually accomplished something. It would have been perfection if he hadn’t had to keep on pretending to be noble and heroic. At least he was getting better at it. It was practically second nature by now. His palm seemed to agree. The silver bellflower mark had completely returned now, as clear as it had been all those years ago before he had it burned off. It was so large and bold that nobody, not even Northrop, had any doubts left that it was real.
Sadly, all good things have to come to an end eventually. Ambit and the others made their merry way through the lowlands and the valleys toward the centre of the Land of Flowers, sometimes forced to shake off people who wanted to come with them, until the day came that they spotted the First Mountain in the distance. By now they were loaded down with backpacks full of food and camping equipment, but they’d become so used to travelling that they walked at a good steady pace, with Ambit, Tannock and Elyne at the front, Northrop, Srawn and Whitear guarding the sides, and Deeble, Wittock and Rigby taking up the rear. Snarl wasn’t seen during the day, but she would be somewhere up ahead, and every night she would come back to meet Ambit to make sure everything was all right. Thanks to her, Ambit already knew they were getting close to the First Mountain, so he wasn’t overly surprised when he saw it appear on the horizon, on the far side of the plain they were crossing.
‘There it is,’ he said, pointing his spear at it.
‘Finally,’ said Tannock, ‘I thought we’d never get here.’
‘I dunno, I was almost hoping we wouldn’t get there at all,’ said Ambit.
‘I know, I’m scared,’ said Elyne. ‘But it’s too late to turn back now.’
‘Yeah, right,’ said Ambit.
They plodded on toward the mountain for the rest of that day, and though it never seemed to get much closer it still managed to grow bigger. It sat in their path like a massive black triangle jutting into the sky, easily the tallest and widest thing for miles around. It dwarfed the other mountains on the horizon, and the hills that marked the spot where Lucknow should be.
When they stopped that evening, Snarl came back, only this time she came into the camp itself and talked to Ambit in front of the others.
‘I went ahead and found the edge of the king’s territory,’ she announced. ‘You should reach it tomorrow.’
‘Finally,’ said Srawn. ‘Thank you, demon.’
‘As for me, this is where I leave you,’ said Snarl. ‘I’ll go on into demon country and find a place to
rest. I need a lava bath, so I can heal myself properly. Then I’ll go on toward the mountain and scout out the land. I’ll meet you there.’
The others looked doubtful.
‘Don’t worry. We can trust her,’ said Ambit. ‘Go on, Snarl. I’ll see you soon.’
‘Good luck, Ambit,’ said the small demon. She nodded to him and waddled off, dragging the stumpy remains of her tail.
In the morning, Ambit and the others broke camp and moved on. Around noon, they reached the edge of demon territory, and there they stopped and dumped their baggage, keeping their food and weapons, but leaving everything else safely tucked away under the big waterproof shelter sheet Ambit had bought in Blueberry Hill.
‘Right,’ Ambit said, ‘this is it. Last chance to turn back.’ He raised a blue eyebrow at the others.
Nobody, of course, backed out.
‘Let’s go, then,’ said Ambit, and off they went.
It had been a long while since he’d seen demon country, but Ambit was surprised to find he was happy to set foot on it again. It might be dry and desolate, but it made a change. It also meant he was close to the end of his quest – again. This time, he promised himself, nothing would go wrong. He’d lead this lot straight to the mountain, go down fighting just like the last time, and that would be the end of it.
Rigby shuddered as they began the trek over hard, cracked demon rock. ‘I hate demon country,’ he said. ‘It’s so . . . depressing.’
Wittock patted him on the shoulder. ‘It’s all right, son,’ he said. ‘Everyone’s nervous, but just remember, you’re with friends here, and we’ll protect you.’
‘I’m not afraid,’ said Rigby. ‘I’m with the Chosen One.’
‘That’s the spirit,’ said Wittock. ‘Now, why don’t I tell a story to pass the time?’
‘Please do,’ said Deeble.
The old man launched into a story without any further prompting, and Ambit listened with the others. Unsurprisingly, this particular story turned out to be a supposedly true account of heroic demon-slaying – Rigby’s favourite kind. Ambit took in the gory details, and wondered if he would ever see a huge humans versus demons battle, like the one being described. He mostly hoped not, but couldn’t help feeling a little thrilled by the idea. It would be nasty, but it would be a sight to remember . . . assuming you didn’t wind up dead, in which case you wouldn’t need to remember it for very long.