by Len Webster
“And what is that?”
Josie told her dreams to lay to rest.
She told her heart that this was what was right.
She told her future that it must wait.
Someday, she’d become a lawyer.
It just wasn’t meant to be today.
“Please don’t hire me.”
Gordon Sheridan flinched. “What?”
“Please, don’t hire me, Mr Sheridan.”
“Why?” he asked, completely dumbfounded.
“Because I know the kind of lawyers you hire, and I fell in love with one of them. And I don’t think my heart could bear it if I worked for that man’s father and pretended like I deserved a place at this firm without it feeling undeserved. I’m sorry, Mr Sheridan, I know Jason put his neck out for me, and please, please don’t hold that against him. Had I never met your son, I would be absolutely thrilled and honoured to have you mentor me. But I can’t share any more of my life entwined with Max’s.”
Josie thought the truth would set her free.
It only made her want to crumple and sob.
She had said goodbye to her dreams.
No law firm would want Gordon Sheridan’s reject.
Instead of the anger she expected, Mr Sheridan’s eyes lightened, and she saw understanding in them. “Josie, I—”
“Uncle Gordon!” a woman sang as she stepped into the office, nudged past Josie and squeaked, “Excuuse me.”
“Katie, I’m in an interview,” Mr Sheridan scolded.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You said nine thirty for breakfast with me and Max. But Max has meetings with his clients, so it’s just you and me.”
Josie flinched.
This is Katie.
The Katie who told Josie to stay away when she thought she was someone else.
“Oh, right. Josie—”
Katie gasped, interrupting Gordon. “This is Josie?”
Josie suddenly felt uncomfortable. She gave Max’s cousin a tight smile as she took her in. Katie Sheridan was beautiful with her chocolate brown eyes and chestnut brown hair with blonde ends to her curls.
“Hello,” Josie said politely.
“Wow,” Katie breathed. “You’re stunning. Listen, I’m so sorry about that phone call a few months’ back. I didn’t—”
Josie shook her head to stop her. Not because she needed to hear an apology but purely to save herself from more pain. She’d already bared her heart to Gordon; she couldn’t have a repeat with Katie. “It’s fine. I have to go. I apologise, but it was lovely to meet you, Katie. And thank you so much for your time, Mr Sheridan.”
She gave them both a smile and quickly slipped out of Gordon’s office and made her way to the elevator. Josie knew her chances of becoming a lawyer had been jeopardised. She’d said no to one of the most powerful men in the legal world.
Josie was sure there would be repercussions, but right now, she knew she had made the right decision.
Max’s father couldn’t mentor her.
And she couldn’t risk a chance of her working with Max if he ever did decide to return from Boston.
She had ruined her law career before it had started.
The next morning, Josie sat on her mother’s bed, staring at the way her chest rose and fell with the assistance of the life support machine. It had been a day since her interview with Gordon Sheridan. It had been a day since she had told him not to hire her. It had also been a day since she admitted to Gordon that she had fallen in love with his son and confessed that the possibility of working in the same building as Max would be too hard for her. After she left her interview, she had exited the building, got in her car, and driven to the hospital. When she parked her car, she sobbed at how weak she felt.
How vulnerable she had become.
How she had not only let herself down, but also Jason, Stella, and her mother too.
She had sabotaged herself.
But in some strange silver lining, she had protected herself from further pain.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to her mother. “I screwed up so badly yesterday.”
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
A sob formed in her chest, and she hated that her mother couldn’t answer her. Her throat tightened as she held back her need to cry out loud.
“I just couldn’t do it.” Those tears shamefully rolled down her cheeks. “Gordon Sheridan gave me my future, and I couldn’t take it. All these years, I’ve worked so hard to get there, and I said no. I walked away. I gave up what every law student wants. I got the top law firm, Mamma. Just like you said I’d get.”
A loud ping echoed from her back pocket. Josie lifted her backside off the mattress and pulled out her phone. She glanced at the screen to find that Max had messaged her. Josie knew he was leaving for Boston today.
When she woke up this morning, all she could do was stare at the photo they had taken at the ballet together.
The love in her eyes was so clear.
She was hopelessly in love with Maxwell Sheridan, and it was torture.
But it all went so wrong.
All because she was so stupid for thinking she had done enough for him to pick her.
To love her.
To need her.
To choose her.
But it was quite clear she wasn’t.
Taking a deep breath and allowing her stupid heart some form of mercy, she unlocked her phone and read his message, refusing to read his others.
Max: Josephine, my flight is at eleven. I’ll be outside security waiting for as long as I can for you. I know I fucked this up between us, and I’m so sorry. I can’t close my eyes without seeing the way you looked at me when I walked away. I need to explain, but I realised I need you to say something. Anything. I desperately want to see you before I leave. I doubt you’ll read this message. But if by some miracle you do, please give me a chance. You’re the better thing in my life, Josephine. I meant it then. I mean it now. I’ll mean it forever because you’re my La Vie En Rose. I love you even if you don’t believe me. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Josie lowered her phone and glanced up at her mother. “I love him, Mamma,” she said as she reached up and brushed the moisture from her cheeks. “I’m so in love with him that I was blind to the idea he’d leave with her … for her.”
Setting her phone on the mattress, she got off the bed and situated herself closer to her mother. Then Josie grasped the chair and dragged it closer. She sat down, rested the side of her head against her mother’s shoulder, and wrapped her arms around her mother’s. “I’ve done so many things wrong in my life, but I thought loving Max was right.” Josie buried her face into her mother’s shoulder. “But he left. Just like Dad … and just like you.”
Josie ignored the sound of the door opening and shutting as she sobbed. Her throat ached as tears continued to pour out of her. Her chest was an inferno that wouldn’t cease, no matter how much she begged herself to get her emotions under control.
“Josie,” she heard Stella say in a soft voice.
Pulling her head away from her mother, she opened her eyes to find her best friend kneeling in front of her. Stella set her hand on Josie’s knee. “Are you okay?”
Josie untangled her arms from around her mother, clenched her eyes shut, and shook her head. Then she opened her eyes and let out a sigh. “I read Max’s latest text.”
“What did he say?”
“He’s waiting for me.”
“Are you going to go see him?”
Josie set her hands on the arms of her chair as Stella stood and stepped back. Then Josie got off the chair and ran her fingers through her hair. “I let myself fall in love with him only for him to let me down. He left me, Stella. Just like my father. Do I really want to go see him just for him to … become my dad? To disappoint me when he turns to go through security? The last man who did that to me never came back. He found love and had a family of his own when I’ve been right here waiting. Do I really want
that from Max?”
“Oh, Josie. It hurts because you love him so much,” Stella explained.
“I don’t want to feel like this, Stella. My mother needs me to be strong, and I’ve never felt so broken in my entire life. Seeing her on life support makes me have so much regret.” Then she stepped around her best friend and picked up her phone from the bed. Josie unlocked it and pressed on her photos. The first photo to come up on her screen was the one of Max kissing her.
Her heart ached.
It was no lie that she missed him.
Just staring at the picture, she remembered the feel of his lips on hers. The way he touched her and held her face so perfectly in his hands.
She had a lot of regrets in her life.
Not telling her mother she loved her enough was one.
Never telling her father her real feelings was another.
Never letting her mother witness her forgiving her father would forever be one.
And never being able to hear her mother say, “I love you, Josephine,” one last time would haunt her.
I can’t keep living a life filled with regret.
“I have to say goodbye,” Josie whispered.
“What?”
Josie spun around and faced her best friend. “I’d hate myself if I couldn’t say goodbye to him. What if something bad happens to him? What if I never see him again? What if it was all different, and he was in that bed instead of my mother? I have to say goodbye to him. I might regret it someday if I don’t.”
A small smile spread across Stella’s face. “Go. I’ll stay with Em.”
“Thank you, Stella. I won’t be long,” she said as she stepped forward and hugged her.
Stella’s arms wrapped around Josie. “I’m always here for you, Josie. No matter what. You’ll never be alone. I will never let you feel like you’re ever alone. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Stella,” she whispered wholeheartedly.
Because besides her mother, Stella Weller was the only person who had never let her down or disappointed her.
“Do you think they’ll let you on the plane if you get pissed?” Julian Moors asked as he glanced back and forth between the two pints of Guinness in his hands.
Max peeked up from his phone to see the big grin on his best friend’s face as Noel Parker chuckled next to him. “I’ll just have one drink, Julian.”
“Oh?” Julian sat down at the table and blinked at him. “Do you think one of these are for you?”
“Julian, give Max his pint,” Julian’s older brother, Rob, said as he sat down at their table.
Julian grumbled as he slid the pint over. “Fine. Here, Max.”
Reaching over, Max picked up the Guinness and set it close to him. “Thanks. What’s taking the others so long?”
Rob glanced over his shoulder for a moment before he returned his gaze to Max. “Guess the girls are staying at the bar.”
Max craned his neck to find Noel with a smile on his face. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Noel said with a nod. Then he lifted his beeping phone. “It’s Alex. He expects to see you as soon as possible.”
“Definitely. When are you and Clara going back to Boston?”
Noel set down his phone. “End of next week. Clara wants to catch up with everyone.”
Just before Max could ask him when he would be starting work, Clara called out, “Noel!”
Max glanced over at the bar to find Noel’s wife waving her husband over. She had that soft, loving expression on her face, and Max turned to find Noel smiling and getting up from his seat.
“I’ll be back,” Noel had said, abandoning his drink and leaving the table before anyone could comment.
“You both going to follow?” Max asked with a teasing tone to his voice.
“Allison will call me over if she needs me,” Rob commented as he picked up his pint and sipped some of the amber-coloured beverage.
“And you?” he asked the youngest Moors brother.
Julian grinned. “Stephanie wants space after I tricked her into going to the doggie marathon on Sunday.”
Max chuckled. “So did you find a breed you like?”
“Nah. I couldn’t decide. They were all just running past, and I couldn’t decide which I wanted more.”
“Do you want a big dog or a small dog?” Rob asked.
“A small one,” Julian answered.
Max tuned the Moors brothers out as he returned his focus to his phone. Unlocking it, he glanced at his messages and was disappointed to find that Josie still hadn’t replied. He was scared she wouldn’t come to the airport. He’d have to head over to security soon and make his way to his departure gate.
“She could still show up, you know,” Julian said with a hopeful tone to his voice.
Sighing, Max set his phone down and attempted a smile. He appreciated the fact that his best friend had lied to try to make him feel better. There was no chance Josie would show up at the airport. She hadn’t replied to any of his messages and hadn’t answered any of his calls. It was stupid for him to believe she would even want to say goodbye to him.
When he told her that she was his La Vie En Rose, she had slapped him.
And hard, too.
She didn’t believe him.
But Max had given her every right to doubt him.
Josie gave him the chance at closure with Andrea with the belief that he’d return to her, but he didn’t. He let Andrea and his guilt win.
He hurt the one person he loved the most in the world.
“I doubt it,” Max said to Julian.
“Max,” Rob said, getting his attention. The rowing world champion frowned at him. “You know you don’t have to go to Boston. You can stay.”
“I have to go and make up for what I did to Noel and Alex. This is my chance to get them to forgive me.”
Rob shook his head. “They don’t care about that anymore. Max, they want you to be as happy as they are. And seeing you with Josie at my engagement party, you were happy. I did some stupid stuff to Allison before we got together. And take it from me, what you’re doing isn’t the right thing.”
“Yeah,” Julian agreed. “Message Andrea and tell her that you can’t work for G&MC. By the time she lands in Sydney for her stopover, she’ll read it. She’ll understand, Max. She knows you don’t love her and that what you both had was lust. What you have with Josie is honest and real. And you found that on your own. You found her on your own.”
Max inhaled sharply.
Julian was right.
His love for Josie, he had found that and her on his own.
He had discovered the beauty of it himself.
But Max had been the one to screw it up.
He had hurt Josie, and she had undoubtedly taken her love back.
“Josephine hasn’t spoken to me in almost four days. I’ve called, and I’ve messaged, but she won’t answer me. I get why she won’t. I hurt her the way I have never hurt another woman before. I made her hate me. I just have to accept that I lost her, and it was my own damn fault,” Max said remorsefully.
“You should tell Noel that you can’t go because you love Josie and want to be with her. He’d be happy you found someone who loves you,” Rob added.
“You didn’t see the way she looked at me …” Max said as the memory flashed before him and that sickly feeling in his stomach returned. “She looked at me as if I broke her heart, and I did. I never thought someone would love me the way she did, and I was selfish enough to destroy it.” Max picked up his pint and held it in the air. “So to new adventures in Boston. Hopefully, I can come back a better man.”
Rob and Julian didn’t join his toast. Instead, they stared at each other in a silent exchange. Max decided to let the brothers converse with their stares as he sculled back the Guinness, hoping it would dull some of his pain.
Envy consumed Max as he watched three of his best friends wrapped up with their spouses. They all appeared carefree and happy.
They
were free of longing when they had what they always wanted.
They had love.
Max had love, but he’d been stupid enough to let it go for redemption.
But as he sat with his mental lonesome, he was happy to see his best friends so content with their lives.
Married and engaged.
Max had hoped for that someday.
That day would never come.
After Josie, there was no one else.
For so long, he thought his future was with Sarah.
But she lied and became obsessed with ruining the lives of so many he loved.
Then he met Andrea, and thought she could be it.
But Julian was right.
Max lusted after Andrea—he knew that after experiencing what pure love felt like with Josephine Faulkner.
Pressing the home button on his phone, Max saw that he had an hour until his flight boarded. He would have to go through security and find his gate soon. Not wanting to be the last person to board, he cleared his throat and stood from his chair.
“I’d better get going,” he announced as he reached down and pulled up the handle of his carry-on suitcase.
“We’ll walk you,” Clara said.
Max shook his head. “Nah. I can make it to security on my own.”
“Are you sure?” Ally asked.
He chuckled. “I’m sure, Ally. You guys stay and finish your drinks. No need to break up the fun. Make sure you send me a video of Julian attempting to row.”
Julian’s nose crinkled at Max. “And I thought you loved me unconditionally, Maxwell. You know, I could be good at rowing, too. I might be even better than Rob, but I chose not to overshadow him because he needed a hobby in life.”
Stevie rolled her eyes. “Oh, suuure. Says the guy who couldn’t out hula-hoop our neighbour’s six-year-old.”
“I’ve been practising!” Julian revealed, and Max shook his head with a chuckle.
“I’ll see you all when I return.”
“And when is that?” Rob asked.
Max shrugged and then picked up his phone, passport, and boarding pass. “When the job’s done. All right, I’d better go.”
“Are you sure you don’t want us to walk you to security?” Clara asked once more.