by Len Webster
A face-to-face kind of confession.
After several deep breaths, he knocked on her apartment door.
Silence greeted him.
Max decided to knock again. This time, the contact made by his knuckles against the door was harder, hoping she’d hear it and answer the door.
Footsteps met his ears, and Max straightened his spine as the door opened.
“Mate,” the pissed-off unknown man said. “I was eating a sandwich.”
He was just taller than Max with blonde scruffy hair. The stranger had a slight bend to his nose from what Max suspected was a previous injury and dark, almost black eyes.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
Max clenched his jaw, worried that this man was someone significant to her. He would be stupid to believe she couldn’t move on. She was the kind of woman that men, including Max, couldn’t forget.
“Is Josephine here?” Max finally asked once he had cleared his throat.
The guy’s eyebrow arched, and he appeared amused and curious of Max. “Josephine?”
“Yes. Is she home?”
He shook his head. “Nah, she’s not here.”
“Do you know where she is? I just saw her like an hour and a half ago.”
“Nah, I don’t.”
“You actually don’t know, or you don’t want to tell me?” Max asked through clenched teeth. He was getting angry with the lack of answers he was getting.
He chuckled. “I’m guessing you’re Max. I’m West, Stella’s boyfriend.”
Relief rained over him.
Josie hadn’t moved on with another man.
He couldn’t believe he thought she would.
But he hoped she hadn’t.
“Yeah, I’m Max.”
West nodded. “You’re an asshole, Max. And to answer your previous question, I know where Josie is and I’m not gonna tell you where. Loyalty means everything to me and my girlfriend. When I started dating Stella, I knew I would be getting Josie as a sister. Because that’s what they are; they’re sisters. And there is no way my girlfriend would ever let you near Josie. So that means I won’t let you near her. So until Josie gives me the okay to tell you where she is, you’re not going to get anything out of me. Now, I’d like to return to my sandwich. Have a good day, Max. I hope I never see you again.”
And then the door slammed in Max’s face.
Fuck.
Max covered his face with his hands and let out a grunt of frustration. When Max got himself under control, he spun around and made his way to the elevator. He would have to go home and think of another way to contact Josephine.
He would continue to call and text.
But he knew he had to see her and tell her how much of a mistake he had made.
There was no reason to go to Boston when he had everything he ever wanted with her. He would find another way of seeking forgiveness from his best friends.
Right now, all he cared about was earning Josie’s love and trust back.
“Thanks,” Max said as Rob wheeled his suitcase into his apartment.
When he approached the woman behind the Qantas desk, he told her that he had a family emergency and couldn’t board the plane. He had to wait for them to remove his suitcase from the plane before he could leave the airport with the guidance of one of the airline’s customer service officers. When Max made it back into terminal two of Melbourne Airport, the woman who had guided him out of the gates wished him and his family well.
It wasn’t quite a lie.
It was an emergency.
He had to see Josie and plead for a way back into her life.
He’d earn it.
He’d do anything and everything it took for her to forgive him.
“No problem. So you didn’t get on the plane,” Rob said with a grin on his face as he set the suitcase by the apartment door.
Max led Rob into his apartment’s large kitchen and set his phone and keys on the marble bench. After he turned his back on the plane, he called Rob and asked for a lift. On the way home, he asked Rob to stop by Josie’s apartment so Max could see her. Unfortunately for Max, he had met Josie’s roommate’s boyfriend instead. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I didn’t just chase after her at the airport.”
“But you did go after her in the end,” Rob added as he set his arms on the counter and leant against it. The gold band on his finger was like a spotlight, drawing Max in.
“When Ally left you, what did you do?”
Rob’s hands clenched into tight fists, his veins protruding and his knuckles turning white. “I let her go. I should have chased after her, but there was no way I could convince her. She had already made the decision to go back to Sydney. Stevie and Julian had told me to give her time, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I made a choice that I didn’t want the Olympics because it kept hurting her. I also decided I would be what she needed, and that was just being myself. So when I had finally had enough, I went to Sydney. Didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but I still went after her.”
“And now you’re married.”
Max watched his best friend’s fist unclench. Then he glanced up to find the contented smile on Rob’s face. “Yeah, we are. And honestly, Max, the best thing I ever did was go after her.”
“So I give her time?”
Rob chuckled. “Nah. You’ve already given her four days. I say you go after her.”
“But she’s not answering my calls.”
“That”—Rob said as he pushed off the counter—“requires some time. Just don’t give up. You should also call Andrea. Her flight has probably already landed in Sydney. You should tell her now not to expect you on the other side.”
“You’re right.” Max swiped his phone off the counter and unlocked it. “You wanna stay for a drink or something?”
Rob shook his head. “Nah. Thanks, though. I’ve gotta head back to work. Quinn’s waiting for me to go through some procedural stuff.”
Max’s eyebrows furrowed. “Does your boss know that you’re the Men’s Single Scull World Champion?”
His best friend chuckled. “Yeah. He does.”
“Your wife is also a millionaire … so what the hell are you doing still working?”
“Allison’s the millionaire, not me. We might be married, but that’s her and her family’s money. I like working as a sales manager at Endurance Sports. Gives me something to focus on when I’m not training. Plus, rowing isn’t like swimming, where I have a ton of endorsements and don’t have to work. We can’t all be lawyers.”
“I’d rather be a rowing world champion with a beautiful wife,” Max said with a grin.
“Ah, but you haven’t had to deal your wife’s persistent father.”
“Any regrets on eloping?”
Rob shook his head. “None. I’ve gotta run. If you need me, just call.”
“Thanks again, Rob,” Max said.
“No worries. I’ll let myself out.” Rob made his way towards the hallway, then paused and spun around. “You made the right decision, Max. I know you want Noel and Alex to forgive you but going to Boston to torture yourself wasn’t the way.”
Max nodded appreciatively and watched as Rob made his way out of his apartment. When the sound of the apartment door closing echoed, Max walked over to the leather chair in the lounge room and sat down. He took two long and deep inhales and exhales before he pressed Andrea’s phone number.
He heard two rings, then she answered.
“Max, I’m so glad you called,” she said.
“Andrea …”
“Is your flight delayed?”
He sighed. “Andrea.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t get on the plane,” he explained.
“What?”
“I told you I hurt someone for you, and I can’t live my life knowing that I have.”
He heard chatter in the background as Andrea fell silent.
“I want to go to Boston and help you becaus
e I know it’ll help Noel out. But I can’t do it, Andrea. I can’t do it and know that I’ve screwed up everything I had going here. I found someone—”
“You … love?” she interrupted.
“Yeah,” he breathed. “I love her. And I hurt her trying to get rid of all this guilt I have.”
“That’s why you didn’t answer my emails. You were seeing someone.”
He nodded, knowing quite well that she couldn’t see him. “Right now, I can’t put someone else above her. I found her on my own, Andrea. I fell in love with her honestly. I didn’t have to play games to be with her or for her to notice me. I thought I knew what pain was because of you needing space, but I knew hell when I chose to seek forgiveness with you and disregarded her love. She won’t wait for me, Andrea. I can’t take the chance that when I come back from Boston, she’ll have found love with someone else. I love her. I’m so in love with her.”
Andrea let out heavy sigh. “I guess I deserve this for taking so long to realise that I had better with you in messages and calls than I did with Noel.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I’m upset that I let another guy fall in love with another woman. I had you, Max. You chose me, and I didn’t appreciate that enough, so you moved on.”
I did.
I fell in love with a woman on a bridge.
“I can still help you with those contracts, Andrea. Just email them to me and I’ll go through them,” he insisted.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” she said in a small voice.
Then their conversation hit a wall, and they didn’t speak.
Goodbye was in the air.
He felt and sensed it.
And he was sure she did, too.
We need this goodbye.
“I should have known,” Andrea finally said. “When you didn’t reply to my emails, I thought you might have, but I didn’t want it to be true.”
Max let out a sigh as he combed his fingers through his hair. “Andrea, do we have anything in common except for us being lawyers and sharing that one kiss?”
“I … uhh … I guess we have … nothing.”
“Maybe we just wanted each other because the people we did want didn’t want us? Maybe that connected us? I really wanted to be with you, Andrea. But she showed me that I didn’t have to compete with my best friend or belittle myself for love. She was the better thing in my life, and she made me fall in love with her so easily that it wasn’t even scary,” Max confessed. “It felt right … It felt real.”
“Then we should end this call,” Andrea stated. “Goodbye, Max.”
With a faint smile, he finally said, “Goodbye, Andrea.”
And when he ended their call, he felt content with his decision.
Goodbye to Andrea had finally been said and done.
But most importantly, he meant it.
Now Max had to find a way back into Josie’s heart and prove to her that he loved her more than any other woman imaginable.
That he would put her first.
Someday, Alex and Noel would truly forgive him.
But that day would have to wait.
Because he had to earn back Josephine Faulkner’s love.
It had been over a day since Max left for Boston, and she had said goodbye to him at the airport.
And it had been almost thirty hours since Josie called her father in Berlin. She wasn’t sure how her father managed to understand her since every time she replayed their conversation in her head, she could only remember mumbling and sobbing. But she was sure he understood the important words.
Terminal.
I need you.
Her father knew the severity of her call. Josie had too much pride to contact him for something other than life or death. Her mother having terminal cancer and being on life support meant Josie couldn’t let her pride win. Her mother was too important to her. Her pride and feelings did not matter.
Because her mother deserved the best goodbye.
And that meant Josie’s father knowing.
Because he, too, had loved her.
He might not love her the way he once had, but he loved Emily Faulkner. Whether it was as long and as true as Josie’s mother had him, it was there. Josie had seen it in old family videos. But as her mother put it, “sometimes love isn’t enough to make someone stay and make them love you more.”
Her mother wasn’t wrong.
Her love for Max wasn’t enough.
And in the end, she felt second best to another woman. Yet she still put Max’s needs and wants before her own.
Because that was how true her love was for him.
But it didn’t matter, he was probably already in Boston.
He had gone after the love he had always wanted.
And that wasn’t her love.
He might have loved her for a moment, but he didn’t love her for eternity.
Last night, Josie had thought of him. Thought of him in Boston. Thought of him in his new office. Thought of him with Andrea. Pain had immediately pushed on her chest when she even thought about him touching her.
She was almost violently ill at the thought of his fingertips trailing down Andrea’s curves. At the thought of him whispering his love for her. At the thought of him making love to her. Unable to stop the vivid images, Josie had pulled the covers back, got out of bed, and searched the kitchen until she found the bottle of tequila in the cupboard.
Josie drowned the thought of him making Andrea orgasm with a shot.
Giving her pleasure he never gave Josie.
Kept from her.
That and his heart and love.
He had given Josie an inch and given Andrea the entirety of his sun.
The essence of his life.
The burning of the liquor was just what she wanted.
What she desperately needed.
She craved the physical burns.
The torture it blessed her with.
And just to be on the safe side, she gulped down another shot at the thought of Andrea making Max come.
Giving him pleasures Josie couldn’t.
Along with the heart Max had been in desperate need of.
It was disgusting how much it had affected her, but she couldn’t stop her mind from imagining Max and Andrea intimate.
Her brain couldn’t stop punishing her with images of Max and Andrea being together and reaching a connection far greater than Josie had with Max.
Torturing her for being stupid enough to even fall in love with a man she knew couldn’t love her entirely.
For forever.
She should have stayed well clear of Maxwell Sheridan.
Been with men who would never tarnish her heart.
Who never made her heart swell.
But at the end of the day, Josie got what she deserved.
And that was nothing.
She never deserved love.
After all she had done in life, she deserved the way love ruined her for her stupidity and belief in Maxwell Sheridan.
Sometime later, she fell asleep on the couch with memories of them at the ballet.
When Max tortured her with his love.
She had been so willing.
Her phone ringing in her hand had her taking her eyes off her mother and taking in Max’s name. Josie’s thumb hovered over her screen, and she let out a bothered sigh as she leant forward and set her phone on the table. Though she wanted to know that he got to America safely, she didn’t want details of his reunion with Andrea. Him calling was all she needed to know that he was safe.
It was over.
They were over.
Everything she believed they had, had reached its end.
Josie leant back into the chair and got comfortable. It was lonely without Stella and West, but she had sent them out to lunch. She appreciated their support and was so thankful to have a best friend like Stella.
Stella let her cry and made sure she showered and was fed. But knowing her father would be landing soon, Josie
needed to be alone with her thoughts. The small headache she had pounding away at her temples was what kept her company as she waited for Jeff Faulkner.
A knock on the door had her craning her neck to find Stella’s boyfriend, West, walking into the room with a takeout cup in one hand and a brown paper bag in another. He approached her with a smile and then handed her what he held.
“I got you a cup of tea and a chicken sandwich,” he clarified as Josie glanced down at the brown bag.
“From the café downstairs?”
West chuckled as he sat in the seat next to Josie’s. “Yeah, I think I like you too much to make you eat that stuff,” he teased. “I got it from the café across the road.”
“You’re too kind.” Josie set the bag on her lap and carefully sipped the hot English Breakfast tea. She hummed with appreciation that he hadn’t forgotten her preference of two sugars with her tea.
“When does your father’s flight land?” West asked.
Josie removed the sandwich from the paper and began to remove the cling wrap from around it. “Soon, I think. He messaged me before he boarded and managed to get the first flight out.”
“So he’s flying economy?”
Picking up half of the sandwich, she raised her brow at West. “Hell, no. He’s a diplomat, West. There’s no way my father would ever fly economy when he has immunity in like a hundred countries.”
“So your dad can commit crimes and he can never be prosecuted?”
Josie took a bite of her sandwich and let out a soft moan. It had been hours since she last ate. Or days. She couldn’t remember. The last time she had eaten was when Stella had forced her to. Her days were now blended and blurred. It could have been days ago or this morning. But now, as she swallowed her bite of the chicken and spinach sandwich, she realised just how hungry she was. “He could. Though there are some loopholes. I don’t know all that kind of stuff, but yeah, he can get away with things.”
“Cool. Maybe I might be a diplomat,” West said with stars in his eyes.
“Stella would never let you,” Josie said, putting an end to his dream and taking another bite of her sandwich. Then she sipped her tea to wash down the chicken and set the cup on the table next to her ringing phone.
West noticed it, too, and stared at it. “You gonna talk to him?”
Josie shook her head. “Nope. I don’t want to discuss him or with him … or have anything to do with him. My part in his life is over now, West, and so is his part in mine.” Her voice lowered, “He’ll be happier. And someday, maybe I might be, too.”