by Kendall Ryan
Snapping off his gloves, he tossed them into the trash can. “Right. Uh, Jean?” He turned to face the confused nurse who looked like she’d entered an alternate universe and didn’t understand her role there. “Would you mind giving us a moment? I’d like to speak to Miss Matthews alone.”
“Sure, I’ll just…” Jean cleared her throat and opened the door, but as she backed out of the room, I didn’t hear the distinct click of the metal door closing behind her.
Pinching his nose between his fingers, he dragged himself from the edge of the exam table and snapped the door shut himself before turning to look at me again. I didn’t think I could withstand the implications of that look.
Shit. What did it mean?
I’d already taken my feet from the stirrups and sat perched on the end of the exam table, the white paper crinkling beneath me as I shifted restlessly. I stared at a spot on the pristine tile floor, focusing my attention there.
God, I wished that he’d just get out of this room so I could put my clothes back on and erect some type of fabric barrier between us. He had the upper hand, and he knew it.
“Listen, I should probably go. I had no idea—” I started, but he cut in.
“Why did you just disappear on me like that?”
I should have known he wouldn’t be a gentleman and let me escape with at least a shred of my tattered pride intact. My cheeks flushed with color under the blame lacing his words, and I could feel it creep from my neck upward. I swallowed hard but kept my lips clamped together. How dare he ask that question right now?
“I had a great time with you,” he admitted after a strained moment. “I…” He blew out a breath and raked all ten fingers through his hair.
Nothing mattered more to me right now than getting out of this exam room. It felt like all the oxygen had been vacuumed out. I couldn’t draw a normal breath.
“I—”
“Did you not feel the same way? Because I thought—”
“No, no.” I shook my head, and my long hair fell over my face before I pushed it behind one ear. Considering leaving it hanging over my eyes like a veil, my hand trembled under the effort of the simple motion of securing it back so I could see him. “I had an amazing time too. I just…” I shook my head, trying to find words that made sense. “You were—are—more than I’m looking for. Right now, I mean.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m just…” I took a deep breath, not finding the appropriate words to explain how I felt about our night together. How did one explain to a medical doctor while naked on the exam table that they weren’t looking for a father for the unborn baby they might be carrying? Especially, when that father was him. “You’re…that night…everything was so intense, and I’m just not interested in anything serious.”
“Based on one night, you decided it would have to be something serious?”
Why couldn’t he be like every other man led around by his dick and just get over it already? I felt embroiled in some kind of strange role reversal. We didn’t need to be having this awkward conversation. He could have just remained professional, finished my exam and never seen me again. No harm, no foul. I didn’t care that he’d given me the best sex of my life. I didn’t. I really didn’t. Now, here he was doing his version of damage control, trying to keep me under his thumb and seeking a compromise I didn’t need or want.
I tilted my head to the side. “I was just looking to unwind and have some fun. It’s not something I do often, but to be honest, I’m surprised you even wanted to see me again.”
“So, which is it? I’m too serious, or I’m such a player you thought it wouldn’t matter if you just disappeared?”
“Why can’t it be both?” I countered.
He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes into slits, clearly unwilling to accept my pretzel logic. “Because it doesn’t make any sense.”
“I had to blow off some steam and so did you. We both had fun. We don’t need to make it into something more, do we?” I shrugged but glancing down, I could see the tremble in my hands that gave me away. Hear the lie in my own voice.
He stared at me, as if seeing me for the first time. Was I the same woman that had been so soft and pliant in his arms weeks before? No. The reason I was here, naked and vulnerable and exposed to his gaze made me night and day different from that woman. I might be pregnant. My future might depend on some positive sign in some sterile lab. I had to make him think that I felt as if he were nothing. Nothing more than a whim—a quick, easy fuck, something that could be tossed aside in the morning and forgotten.
But in my heart, I knew the truth. I’d felt it. That hot, coursing electricity at every move and touch. My heart practically exploded when we’d come, hard and needy and deep, together. That look in his eyes while he was inside me…that hadn’t been in my head. It couldn’t have been.
It wasn’t.
“Okay, so, if it was just a one-night stand—” he started, but I cut in before he could finish. I couldn’t let him say something we’d both regret.
“It was.”
At my careless words, disappointment lined his chiseled features. I almost felt bad for deliberately hurting him. But not enough to make it right by spilling the truth. Doing that would leave me open to heartache. And mine had bricks around it that even a battering ram couldn’t break through.
He took a steadying breath, and after a few measured moments, a mask of cool indifference came over his face. “Right. Okay. It was just a one-night stand. So we should probably just continue with the annual exam. It’ll be super quick, and then a nurse will call you in a few days with your Pap results, all right?”
“Uh.” I swallowed hard and then speared him with a glare. Was he dense? Now, I had a whole other can of worms to open up.
“Look, I know you’re probably a little uncomfortable, but I can be a professional. You are here for the annual exam, correct?” He glanced down at the chart again. Maybe I wouldn’t have to spell it out. If he forced the issue, I didn’t know if I could tell him the reason for my visit without breaking down. As he scanned the document, everything appeared fine until he got to the bottom. If I hadn’t been about to throw up and pass out, I might have enjoyed the tragic look on his face.
Now who feels like puking, huh?
He paled. All the color and blood drained from his face, and he wobbled, his six foot plus frame swaying like a willow in the breeze. Slowly, he dropped back into his rolling stool, then steadied himself against the counter.
He looked at my face, searching. Trying to determine if I was joking. As if. Women my age didn’t joke about something so serious. I narrowed my eyes and held his gaze.
Do you get it now, Einstein? If there’s a baby, you’re the father. Which means if I’m really pregnant and want to keep the baby, in nine months’ time, you’re going to be someone’s dad…
After breathing in deeply through his nose, he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could delay the inevitable one second longer, I hopped from the table and grabbed my panties from the chair beside the table.
“Look, uh, this was a bad idea.” I shoved one leg into my jeans, having slid on my panties in record time. “I can find another doctor, I promise. Mandy was only trying to help me out. I didn’t know this was your practice, obviously, and I just…I need some air.”
I hopped into my jeans and buttoned them, then reached for my top.
He opened his mouth to say something but remained silent after a couple of strained seconds. I half expected him to start yelling at me about condoms and birth control pills. As a doctor, he had to be wondering how this happened. But he should know, because condoms could and did fail. Obviously.
“Don’t worry about it, really,” I said before he could get going with the platitudes and false promises. That was the last thing I needed. “It’s probably a false alarm, but if not, you know, I know where to find you, so…” I let out a humorless laugh as I turned around and
ripped off my robe before shoving my shirt over my head. Now that I stood before him, completely covered, I almost felt better. But nothing short of getting the hell out of this tiny, suffocating room would help me draw a normal breath again. “Please, just pretend I was never here.”
His mouth came unhinged again. I seemed to keep striking him speechless, and I prayed he’d remain that way while I emulated a magician and disappeared. I slipped through the door, nearly sprinting for the lobby with sure, purposeful steps.
Before I reached safety, that deep voice halted me in my tracks.
“Bren, wait. We need to talk about this.”
My feet seemed to have become cemented to the floor. Why couldn’t I just be rude and leave? Shove him firmly in my past again like I did before? Something about the man caused me to act so out of character, I barely recognized myself. He awakened too many feelings in me that I wanted to stay dead and buried.
“I’ll deal with the consequences myself,” I said in a low voice, not turning. If I looked at him, I’d stay. So I tamped down the desire to fling myself into his strong arms and stepped from the room and into the wide linoleum atrium outside the door. I could almost feel his breath grazing the back of my neck.
Why won’t you just give up?
Before I could reach the sidewalk, he reached out and turned me around, forcing me to look at him.
“Running isn’t an option anymore. Whatever this is, the lab already has your specimen sample from when the nurse took your blood. The results are coming, and when they get here, I won’t let you face them alone. No fucking way.”
Chapter Five
Mason
I could tell by the tight line of Bren’s mouth that my expression had turned into a scowl. Her hands trembled, and emotion practically poured from her eyes.
Of all the doctors in the city, how in the hell had she ended up in my exam room for a pregnancy test? Damn. It was right what they said about Karma being a bitch and all that.
I racked my brain, reliving every single second we spent together, realizing I never told her my actual profession. Not wanting to sound like an arrogant douche, I rarely led with that in a bar or club. Besides, being a doctor with my own practice made me a moving target for gold diggers and clingers, so I was absolutely positive I hadn’t told her who I was.
My fingers itched to reach out and gather her into my arms so I could wipe that heartbreaking look off her face. But I didn’t move because I was still a little pissed that she’d ghosted me after the best night of my life.
Her eyes gazed into mine, seeking something. Something I couldn’t yet give. Promises I couldn’t make. After staring for several strained seconds, she took a step backward.
“Can we please go talk in my office?” I asked, my voice slightly more controlled.
Becoming agonizingly aware that we were still standing in the lobby, I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. An older woman stared slack-jawed at us, and a young mother rocked a newborn in a baby carrier, trying hard to ignore the spectacle in front of her.
My gaze passed over the decaf cappuccino bar that Trent had promised would soothe our patients, making them more comfortable once they got to the exam table. Suddenly, I wished my life was as simple as deciding between the salted caramel or mocha syrup. I let out a long breath, calmed my temper, and turned back to face Bren. A woman running from me caused a pit to form in my gut because it felt like the worst kind of rejection, especially when I’d done nothing to deserve it.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I have to get back to work.” Before the last syllable left her mouth, I knew she was lying to me. Any woman as upset as Bren looked in this moment was headed for a phone call with her bestie and a pint of Chunky Monkey. All I wanted was the gym and a drink. Only the sting of serious liquor would help sweep the memory of what just happened from my mind.
Pregnant.
With my baby.
The implications weren’t lost on me. Bren could have life growing within her womb as we stood here not talking. Even though our interactions had been brief and physical, I could sense her independence. She probably didn’t want to be saddled down with responsibility and tied to a man who just a while ago had been a perfect stranger.
Bren’s face turned white as a sheet, and she sucked in a huge breath. “I feel like I’m going to be sick.”
I grabbed her elbow and pulled her toward the door emblazoned with gold lettering that read Ladies as she rushed for the toilet bowl.
She heaved once, twice, but the contents of her stomach stayed put. As Bren turned her head toward me, I knelt down in the tiny stall beside her, my hands sweeping her hair into a makeshift ponytail.
When she stood, I took a step back. “You all right?”
She nodded and swiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. “False alarm, I guess.”
“Have you been getting sick?” I asked, suddenly more worried than I had been.
She lifted a shoulder. “Just a little nausea.”
“You sure you should be going back to work?”
Come back to my place. Let me take care of you.
As she stepped out of the stall and washed her hands, I didn’t speak the words that popped into my mind before any others. Once I got back to my office, I’d sink into my buttery leather chair and consider how much I wanted this woman and our unborn child playing a starring role in my future.
“I may just head home. The day’s almost over anyway,” Bren said, backing away from me almost as if she thought I’d corner her in the ladies room.
“And you’ll be okay to drive?”
“Yes. I don’t live far from here.”
“Okay.” I rubbed one large hand across her shoulder, and she took another uneasy step back. The physical rejection stung worse than a hornet’s bite. I really didn’t want her driving home in this condition, but I couldn’t think of a rational way to get her to stay or let me put her in an Uber.
Of their own accord, my facial muscles tugged downward, but I dropped my hands to my sides in defeat. I almost felt like grabbing a few paper towels and waving them in the air above us like a white flag. “I’ll call you later. We need to talk about this.”
“All right. My cell number is on the form I filled out.”
My hands clenched into fists at my sides as I felt completely frustrated and incompetent. If I couldn’t protect the mother of my unborn baby, what good was I? But I picked myself up by my bootstraps and followed her to the door.
“Talk to you later, then,” she said and pushed open the door, her feet carrying her like a crazed stalker was on her tail. I watched Bren’s rigid and retreating back until her body became just a speck of nothingness off in the distance. My heart throbbed like someone had cracked my chest open without the benefit of anesthesia.
After Bren’s blood draw earlier, the lab would take twenty-four hours to get the test results back. I’d be on pins and needles until the results were in. Which meant I had a full twenty-four hours to ruminate about Bren.
Leaden feet led me back to my office where I shut the door and inhaled. Focusing on paperwork helped, so I shuffled through a pile and waited a few hours to call her so she could have time to process and calm down.
I knew I’d be useless until things were settled or at least discussed between Bren and me, so I suggested dinner. How emotional could she get in a public place? Once I got her on the line, I could tell by her hesitation she didn’t want to see me. Too damn bad. So I pushed.
“Sure,” she mumbled, giving in.
Glancing at the clock on my desk, I blew out a frustrated breath. I still had an hour before we were supposed to meet. Plenty of time to go to my apartment to shower and change. This was going to be the longest twenty-four hours of my entire life until those test results came in.
In the meantime, I needed a plan. I needed to push everything else out of my mind so I could focus on Bren and getting to know her. Make her want to know me.
I tented my hands and touched my fingers to my lips.
You can run, Bren Matthews, but you can’t hide.
Chapter Six
Bren
I didn’t go back to work. Couldn’t, because then I’d have to tell Mandy what happened, and I figured if I didn’t say anything—out loud, to anyone—I could pretend for a little while longer that this whole sordid afternoon was a grainy figment of my sleep-deprived imagination.
I didn’t want to have a random stranger’s baby growing in my belly, didn’t want to be saddled down with responsibility and tied to a man I didn’t even know. What if he didn’t like romantic walks on the beach and candlelit dinners? What if he was a typical workaholic and every night he came home dead tired, after hitting the gym and then collapsed onto the couch with the remote control in his hand?
What if he tried to rein in my freedom?
When the phone rang a couple of hours later, I about jumped out of my skin. Even though he’d said he’d call, I’d been consumed with my jumbled emotions so hadn’t really been expecting it, or his invitation to join him for dinner. I tried like hell to think of an excuse. But I wasn’t good at lying on the spot, and so I’d mumbled a weak “Sure.”
Glancing at the clock above my kitchen sink, I blew out a frustrated breath. I still had an hour before we were supposed to meet at the restaurant. This was going to be the longest twenty-four hours of my entire life. I wanted to hit my knees and pray for a negative result. If I wasn’t pregnant, I could get rid of him and his unwelcome effect on my equilibrium. Trying to push the pending results out of my mind, I stood in front of my walk-in closet, gazing at the endless options I had hanging inside. Wearing stained khakis and my assigned polos to work every day meant I liked to splurge on girly things like handbags and sandals and dresses from time to time.