Well, if Luke wanted her as his wife, so be it. She wasn’t letting him out of her sight.
But now, seven years later, here she was, sitting alone in a Sydney hotel, while her ex-husband and their son flew hundreds of miles north without her, and she told herself that Luke Manning might have said the words, but their decision to marry had been her fault.
She’d been the one who’d pleaded and cajoled. She’d known the power she held over him. She’d blocked his protests.
Blinded by her heart’s yearnings, as careless as Eve, she’d led him to make the huge mistake of marrying her.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘DAD’S RANCH IS totally cool, Mom.’
‘Oh, honey. How lovely to hear from you.’
Erin was sitting in a small pavement café eating breakfast—fresh melon and mango with yoghurt. Yesterday she’d checked her cellphone a thousand times. At least that was what it had felt like. She’d been desperate to hear from Joey but she’d been worried that Luke would consider her a fussy mother hen and so she’d held back from phoning.
‘How are you?’ she asked now.
‘I’m great.’
‘So you’re having a good time?’
‘Yep.’
‘Was it fun in the plane yesterday?’
‘You bet. Dad’s an awesome pilot. An’ he let me work one of the controls.’
‘Holy sh—smoke.’
‘I could see all the rivers and mountains and the roads and the rooftops and everything.’ Joey giggled. ‘An’ guess what?’
‘What?’
‘I’m going to ride a horse this afternoon.’
‘This afternoon?’ Erin’s heart took a dive, which was silly—she knew that sooner or later Luke would have his son on the back of a horse. ‘Well…wow, Joey. That—that’s neat. Are you scared?’
‘Nah. Well… I might be a little scared.’
‘Are you going to wear a helmet?’
‘Um. I don’t know. My horse is called Raven.’
‘That’s a pretty name, but Joey, you make sure you wear a helmet.’
‘Raven’s a mare, Mommy, and her coat is shiny and black. And guess what—Dad bought her just for me.’
‘Goodness! A horse just for you? Aren’t you lucky?’
But what about the helmet?
Erin knew she was overreacting but she couldn’t help imagining the horror of her little city-bred boy falling from the back of a horse. She cringed as she pictured his head smashing into hard red dirt, his foot wrenched from a stirrup, his tiny body broken by trampling hooves. ‘Joey, is Luke—is your father there?’
‘Sure.’
‘I—I’d like to speak to him, please.’
‘Okay. Bye, Mommy.’
‘You take care now. I love you, baby.’
‘Erin?’
Luke’s cool voice sent heat spiking through her.
‘Oh, Luke, hi.’
‘You want to speak to me?’
She gulped. ‘Joey tells me he’s going to start riding lessons today.’
‘Yes. You got a problem with that?’
‘I just wanted to—to—You are going to make sure he wears a helmet, aren’t you?’
‘Of course.’
Thank God. ‘I’m sorry if I sound fussy, Luke, but Joey’s still so little.’
‘He’s plenty old enough to start riding. The pony I’m putting him on has worked with children before. She’s perfect. And I’ll be watching the boy every minute he’s on her back.’
‘Yes… I’m sure you will.’
Luke sighed. ‘I wish you would trust me with Joey.’
‘I do trust you.’
‘Forgive me for not noticing.’ Lowering his voice, Luke said, ‘If you jump on the phone every time you think up a new thing to worry about you’re going to make the boy nervous.’
Erin gasped. Luke had virtually accused her of pestering him. How dared he? She’d restrained herself admirably last night and she hadn’t initiated this call now.
‘I don’t need a lecture on how to communicate with my son.’
‘Maybe not, but I’d appreciate it if you gave the boy space.’ Luke’s voice was calm yet merciless. ‘I’d like him to have the chance to make up his own mind about me and my home and my lifestyle.’
‘I’m giving him a chance. A big fat chance.’ Erin’s voice was choked with sudden fury. ‘I’m giving him two whole months.’
And, because she couldn’t stomach another smug response, she disconnected and snapped the cellphone shut before Luke could reply.
For three whole days there were no more phone calls between Sydney and Warrapinya. During that time Erin met Candia Hart, the diminutive, bubbly and super-successful Australian fashion designer. She visited art galleries and fashion houses, as well as jewellers, and she invested in some Australian gemstones. She particularly loved opals.
Then, to her surprise, Candia rang and invited her to dinner at her home. ‘I’d love you to meet my husband, Andrea,’ she said. ‘Can you come on Saturday?’
Erin was elated. She hadn’t really expected people as high profile as Candia and her famous racing-car driver husband, Andrea Conti, to be so friendly and hospitable.
Three nights later Joey called again.
‘Are you having fun on the ranch?’ she asked him.
‘You shouldn’t call this place a ranch, Mommy. It’s a station. But there’s no trains. Just humungous big trucks with carriages called dogs with hundreds and hundreds of cattle in them.’
‘Sounds exciting. What have you been doing?’
‘I’ve been to school.’
‘Oh, come on, Joey, don’t tell stories. I know that’s not true. There aren’t any schools at Warrapinya.’
‘There’s a school here, Mommy. I did home school with Brad and Clint and Jason. Over the Internet. It’s totally cool.’
‘Who are Brad and Clint and Jason?’
‘They’re my cousins.’
She heard the deep rumble of Luke’s voice in the background.
‘They’re my second cousins,’ Joey corrected. ‘And they’re so cool, Mommy. You should see how good they are at horse-riding.’
The wistful note of admiration in his voice sparked a twinge of anxiety in Erin. Joey’s sheltered ultra-urban life in Manhattan, where trips to Central Park provided the only encounters with nature, must seem terribly tame compared with this wonderful outdoor adventure.
‘They do barrel racing and calf riding,’ Joey said. ‘But Dad won’t let me.’
Feeling faint, Erin asked, ‘How—how old are these boys?’ Was Joey mixing with teenagers?
‘Brad’s eight and Clint’s seven, I think. Jason’s only five.’
‘Five?’ Somehow she managed not to shriek. But good grief, if she’d known there would be little boys Joey’s age performing outrageous hair-raising rodeo stunts she would have…she would have…
What? Insisted on accompanying Joey to Warrapinya? No, of course not. That wasn’t feasible. She didn’t want to go there and Luke would resent her presence. He and Joey needed space.
Remembering that and Luke’s warning that she mustn’t make Joey worried, she finished the conversation rather quickly, keeping her farewell brief and upbeat.
Erin’s anxiety about Joey lingered. On Saturday, when she was preparing to go to Candia and Andrea’s for dinner, she felt more uneasy than ever. She decided that she really must make a call to Warrapinya to put her mind at rest. Only then would she be able to relax and be a pleasant dinner guest.
A woman’s voice answered. ‘Oh, hello, Erin. We haven’t met, but I’m Jenny, Luke’s cousin.’
‘You must be the mother of the famous Brad and Clint and Jason?’
‘Yes. I’m afraid so.’ Jenny seemed surprisingly apologetic. ‘I’m so sorry the boys set your son a bad example.’
‘What do you mean? What example was that?’
On the other end of the line there was a soft sound, somewhere between a groan and a sigh. It
sounded almost guilty. ‘You haven’t heard from Luke?’
‘No.’ Fighting panic, Erin closed her eyes and her hand gripped the receiver so hard her fingers hurt. ‘What’s happened? Can I speak to Joey?’
‘No, I’m afraid you can’t. He’s not here.’
Oh, God. Erin felt as if she’d been dangled over the edge of a very high precipice.
‘There’s been an accident,’ Jenny said. ‘Luke’s flown Joey in to the hospital in Townsville.’
CHAPTER SIX
LUKE STOOD AT the far end of the long hospital corridor, his hands weighted deep in his pockets.
Staring through a tall narrow window into the black night, he let his mind replay again and again his feelings of terror when he’d heard a cry for help and had rushed to the horse yard to find Raven prancing nervously and Joey lying unconscious in the dirt.
Could there be a worse moment for a father? Gut-wrenching didn’t go halfway to describing how he’d felt as he’d scooped Joey’s tiny limp body into his arms. He’d been filled with the darkest dread. Absolutely terrified. Appalled.
Luke couldn’t remember how he’d got Joey to the plane. The frantic call he’d put through to the hospital and the takeoff from Warrapinya were a blur. All he could remember was the agonising impact of his love for his boy exploding through him like a grenade. Joey was such a smart, cute, loving little kid. He was his son. Oh, God, how could he have let this happen to his own son?
His anger had surfaced later. Much later. It stirred him again now. This accident should not have happened. It wouldn’t have happened if Joey hadn’t disobeyed him. But a father couldn’t be expected to watch his boy every second. He should have been able to trust Joey to do as he was told.
Maybe the kid lacked discipline. Perhaps Erin had been too soft with him.
At the thought of Erin Luke’s gut dropped. Hell, she’d be a mess when she heard about this. She’d be so mad at him. She might never forgive him.
Just the same, he should try to ring her again. Grimacing at the thought, he reached into his pocket for his mobile phone and in the same instant he glanced to the far end of the corridor just as the lift doors opened and someone emerged.
Erin saw Luke as soon as she stepped out of the elevator. She saw the hunch of his shoulders.
Oh, God. Joey…
Luke looked so desolate her heart clattered like a metal pan dropped by a careless nurse.
Then Luke turned and saw her and he stiffened, his shoulders shooting back in surprise. Or maybe anger. It was too bad if he was mad at her intrusion. She’d had to come.
He began to hurry down the shiny linoleum towards her and her heart pounded. Soon she would know the worst. He would tell her what had happened to her baby.
The grimness of his expression made her break into a run. ‘Where’s Joey?’ she cried and then her legs gave way and she stumbled.
Luke caught her, gripped her by the elbows and steadied her.
Terrified, she lifted her gaze to meet his and she forced herself to repeat her dreadful question. ‘Where’s Joey? How—how is he?’
Luke’s face was pale beneath his tan, his eyes storm-dark. She pressed a hand against the awful crashing in her chest.
‘Joey’s okay,’ Luke said. ‘He’s here in this ward. He’s asleep.’
‘But he’s really okay?’
‘Yes. He’s going to be fine.’
‘Oh.’
She’d been so tense, so prepared to hear bad news that her knees gave way completely. She sagged into Luke, her head falling on to his shoulder, her heart beating frantically against his upper arm.
She was forced to cling to him, shaking, tearful, exhausted, her fingers curling, grasping at the fabric of his sweater. Without the support of his arms she would have slid to the floor.
‘Are you sure?’ she whispered. It seemed too good to be true and she was terrified that she’d misheard him.
‘Yes, Erin. Joey’s fine. He regained consciousness on the flight in, but the doctors gave him a CT scan just to make certain there’s no serious injury. They’re confident he’s fine—just a little concussed—so he has to stay here for twenty-four hours, but that’s simply a precaution.’
‘Thank God. I’ve been so worried.’
Joey’s okay. Joey isn’t going to die. He isn’t maimed. He’s fine.
She let her mind replay those beautiful words, repeating them over and over, until their true meaning sank in and the fearful terror began to loosen its icy hold. Finally she felt a lift in her heart, the first warm ripple of relief.
Only then did she take in other details. Good grief. She was in Luke’s arms. She was plastered against him. Luke’s lips were brushing her forehead. His hand was gently cradling her head against his bulky shoulder. She could feel his heartbeats and the warmth of his hand as he stroked her hair.
She was even aware of his smell—a mixture of sunlit pastures and dusty man. It was achingly familiar. And everything about the fit of their bodies felt familiar too, so wonderfully right. Reassuring. His fingers were so gentle as he stroked the hair at her nape.
But what was Luke thinking? What was he feeling? Did he really want to hold her, or was he doing it out of a sense of duty? Or guilt?
Perhaps he was simply calming her the way he might calm a frightened animal.
Or perhaps he was remembering all the times he’d held her in the past….
From behind them came the rumble of a trolley being pushed down the corridor. Sanity returned. Erin lifted her head from Luke’s shoulder.
She gave him a little nudge with her elbow and he let her go quickly, swinging his arms open and then down to his sides while she made a business of rescuing her pashmina from the floor, but when she wrapped it around her once more she still felt cold and she would have liked the comfort of Luke’s arms.
But there were limits to how much a divorced couple could share. The sob-fest was over. Luke had seen her at her worst, at her most vulnerable and helpless, but it was time to be strong again, to stand on her own two feet.
And it was time to remember that she was actually angry with this man.
‘Why didn’t you call me to tell me about Joey?’ She snapped this question even more sharply than she’d meant to.
Luke’s sudden smile surprised her. ‘That’s more like it,’ he said. ‘I knew you’d have to lash out at me sooner or later.’
Erin gasped. Is that what Luke expected? Was she so predictable? But then she remembered that she had every right to be angry with this man.
‘Don’t sidestep, Luke. Surely I deserved a phone call?’
He released a weary sigh. ‘It was an emergency, Erin. Joey was my first priority. The only phone calls I had time for were to the hospital.’
‘But after that? You must have known how worried I’d be?’
‘I tried to ring you when the main drama was over. Actually, I’ve been trying to call you for the past couple of hours.’
Her shoulders lifted in a defensive little shrug. ‘I’ve been on the plane. I couldn’t use my cellphone.’
She chewed at her lower lip in a vexed kind of way and was disturbed to see Luke watching her. He was watching her mouth, to be exact, watching it intensely and in a way that sent her insides into meltdown.
‘Anyway,’ she said even more snappily. ‘How did this accident happen? How could Joey fall from a horse? I thought you were supposed to be supervising his every moment while he was on the thing. You promised me he’d wear a helmet.’
Instead of answering her, Luke placed a firm hand at her elbow and steered her closer to the window. Erin almost jerked her arm away from him. But then she felt foolish when she realised he was guiding her out of the way of a nurse wheeling a trolley of medicines. Heavens, she was as tense as a trip-wire.
‘I wasn’t there when it happened, because Joey disobeyed me,’ Luke said. ‘He was mad at me because I wouldn’t let him try barrel racing with the other boys.’
‘Barrel racing? I can
’t believe any responsible parent would let little boys do anything so dangerous.’
‘It’s not dangerous for Outback kids. For them, riding a horse and trying a few rodeo stunts is no more of a risk than riding a bike or a skateboard and throwing a few wheelies for a city kid.’
‘Not for this city kid. You don’t know the first thing about Joey, Luke. At home, if he wants to ride his bike, I personally go with him and supervise him in the park.’
‘He must enjoy that,’ Luke said with a cynical roll of his eyes.
Erin ground her teeth. Had this journey to Australia been a mistake? Had she been mad to turn her little boy loose in the wilds of the Outback? She should have asked Luke to come to New York. Or they should have met on neutral ground—in California or even Hawaii—or—
She stopped in mid-thought. ‘Did you say Joey disobeyed you?’
Luke nodded.
‘How? What happened?’
‘Jenny’s boys were kept busy indoors today, catching up on schoolwork they missed. I was doing paperwork in my office and Joey was supposed to be playing a video game in the lounge room, but the little devil snuck out. He took Raven down to the paddock behind the stables and tried to practise barrel racing—bareback—on his own.’
‘Bareback?’ Erin gaped at him. ‘Good grief, Luke, how on earth could a little boy Joey’s size get up on to a bareback horse?’
‘He climbed a fence and jumped on—because he didn’t know how to saddle her.’ Erin was sure she caught a flash of pride in Luke’s eyes. ‘He must have figured it was his only option.’
She was stunned. ‘I can’t believe that Joey would even think that he could ride bareback.’ She couldn’t imagine her little boy trying anything so reckless, so daring. The poor kid must have been desperate to be like the other boys.
She closed her eyes. Joey was out of his depth in the Outback—just as she had been.
Some of the station hands at Warrapinya had called her ‘the boss’s Manhattan mistake.’ She’d overheard them. It had hurt terribly at the time, but she knew they were right. She hadn’t been cut out for the life there.
And neither was Joey.
Poor Joey. He hadn’t asked to be born into this mess.
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