She should be about to start her life again in Ardu Safra, with her new dreams. Tender dreams—but they’d been shattered too. Obliterated. And along with them her chance to help her country, her people.
‘That sounds like a sigh of defeat,’ Claire said from behind her. She heard her friend put down the book she’d been lost in and cross the marble floor, joining her at the window.
‘I guess I have to accept Rafe doesn’t want to marry me any more,’ she said as she listlessly walked into the room, her soft slippers scuffing on the marble floor. How could it hurt so much? How could she feel this rejected when all they’d ever had was an agreement to marry for no other reason than their families demanded it of them?
‘Kaliana?’ Claire questioned, a worried expression on her face. Kaliana didn’t like the question in her friend’s voice, or the way she was watching her. ‘Before you do anything, before you give up on Rafe, you have to do a pregnancy test. You have to know for sure.’
Kaliana frowned. ‘I can’t. Even if I happened to have one to hand.’
For a moment Claire hesitated and Kaliana looked at her, sensing the worry, seeing the fear on her friend’s face. They’d known each other for five years, since Kaliana had moved to London, but they knew so much about each other it felt like a lifetime. More than anything Kaliana trusted her. Thought of her as her sister.
‘I do.’ Claire got up and walked quickly to the chair in the corner of the room and grabbed her bag, producing a slim blue and white box, holding it out to Kaliana. ‘I got one, knowing you wouldn’t be able to easily get hold of one.’
With a sickening lurch of her stomach Kaliana looked at Claire, panic making any words impossible. Could it really be possible? She and Rafe had made love many times whilst they’d been in Rome. Each time he’d used the protection of a condom. He’d never failed to protect either of them—except that one time in the early hours of the morning.
That one time when they’d made love as sleep had tried to hang onto their exhausted bodies. The time when she’d finally accepted she felt something more than just lust for him.
She shook her head in denial. ‘I can’t be pregnant. We used contraception.’ She thought of the way her stomach turned over each morning as she got out of bed, of the waves of nausea which washed over her during the day. Every day since she’d arrived in Ardu Safra. No. She couldn’t be pregnant. She couldn’t. ‘It’s just nerves. Worry.’
‘Kaliana,’ Claire almost snapped. ‘You have to do this test.’
‘It’s just the worry of everything.’ Kaliana hotly denied what Claire was saying, even though deep down she knew it was almost certainly true. And where did that leave her?
‘Then do this test. Prove me wrong. Prove yourself wrong,’ Claire challenged.
‘Very well.’ There was only one way to find out. Kaliana took the box from Claire with a weak smile.
Kaliana’s hands shook as she opened the box. What if she was pregnant? The father a man who didn’t want her any more. A man she’d stupidly fallen in love with despite his warnings. His warnings that he couldn’t love her—or anyone.
‘I can’t look,’ Kaliana said as she opened the bathroom door, returning to her room a short time later, the look of concern and compassion on Claire’s face bringing a fresh wave of nausea over her. ‘Whatever it says, it won’t make any difference. Whatever it was Rafe and I had is over. Finished.’
‘Oh, Kal,’ Claire soothed as she took the test from her. Kaliana watched her friend’s face as Claire looked down at the test, her heart pounding with anticipation. With fear.
The sound of an approaching helicopter above the palace snatched Kaliana’s attention from Claire, from the test. She hated those machines now. Hated that they’d taken away the man she’d loved. The man she should have married. Had her father sent for Nassif? Had he sensed there were problems? Had Rafe officially called it all off?
There was no way she could marry Nassif now. Not just because of the possibility that she carried Rafe’s child, but because she loved him. Every limb ached with need for him. For his touch, his kiss. For his love.
Claire’s silence suddenly seemed deafening, snatching her back from the thoughts of what love really felt like. She looked at Claire, her head lowered as she held the test in front of her.
‘Am I...?’ she asked, unable to finish the question. Because, if she was pregnant, she’d just driven away the baby’s father with her selfish need for love—as well as destroying the future of her country.
Claire nodded.
The room spun and Kaliana couldn’t focus on anything. Blackness, darker than the night sky, swirled around her, making standing up almost impossible. She wanted to give into it. Wanted the darkness to sweep her away. Take her somewhere she didn’t have to think. Somewhere she could be alone with the knowledge that she carried Rafe’s baby inside her. Somewhere she could be free of the pain of loving a man who would never love her.
* * *
Rafe strode into the room he’d been shown to. He hadn’t even wanted to see Kaliana’s father first. All he’d wanted was her. The doors closed behind him but Kaliana wasn’t in the room. Only Claire.
‘Where is she?’ he demanded as Claire stood up to greet him, thankful that Kaliana’s friend had been just that, with her parting advice to him as she’d left Villa Casella only hours after Kaliana.
‘Don’t give up on love, Rafe—or Kaliana.’
He could still hear her saying those words as the quiet of the house had shrouded them after the guests had gone. He had no idea what Claire had meant and had pushed that sentimental bit of advice to the back of his mind as he’d dealt with his business matters.
But he’d kept hearing it. Over and over. And then he’d known with such absolute certainty it was like standing under an icy shower. He loved Kaliana and if he loved her he needed to set her free from their deal. Give her the freedom to choose who she married. Who she loved. Then hope it would be him.
His business deals had quickly taken second place to negotiations with her father as the two men reached an agreement which financially secured the kingdom of Ardu Safra but meant Kaliana didn’t have to marry—him or Nassif—to do that. Just as that had fallen into place Enzo had come to him, telling him about his reconciliation with Emma after news from his lawyer regarding the Casella inheritance. News that freed both Kaliana and himself from their deal in a way he’d never envisaged possible. Once all that was secured, Rafe had left Sicily for Ardu Safra. For Kaliana.
One final meeting with legal teams last night had secured the deal Kaliana’s father and he had agreed on. Her father hadn’t asked why, but Rafe suspected he knew. Damn it. It seemed everyone knew that he loved Kaliana.
Except Kaliana herself. Something he intended to put right.
‘What do you want, Rafe?’ Kaliana’s voice seemed to tremble even though her expression was firm and strong, but she looked so pale as she came into the room and sat down. Was she ill?
Rafe frowned, moving closer to the woman he loved, but she didn’t look up at him. That welcome smile he’d imagined would be on her face wasn’t there. She couldn’t look at him.
‘What’s wrong?’ When Kaliana didn’t answer he looked to Claire.
‘I’ll leave you both to talk,’ Claire said, walking away. Rafe watched her leave the room, even though he suspected she knew what was wrong. He turned his attention back to Kaliana. To her pale cheeks and the tell-tale darkness beneath her eyes. She’d had as little sleep as he’d had. Did she regret walking away? Was there one last ray of hope for him, for them? He’d come here hoping to find it—and the strength to admit what he felt for her. To admit he loved her.
Rafe waited as Claire’s retreating footsteps quietened to nothing, the silence in the cool marble room almost screaming at him. Its heaviness filled with uncertainty.
Kaliana stood up, moving towards him s
lowly, her face so very pale. Her eyes full of sadness. ‘Why are you here, Rafe?’
Her question confused him, but he couldn’t help his gaze slipping down over her. He’d never seen her dressed in anything so beautiful as the pale blue silk which wound its way around her body, accentuating and yet concealing it. She looked regal. Elegant in the dress of her country. It was as if he was truly seeing her for the first time as a princess. Which made what he’d come here to do, to say, even more important.
‘We need to talk.’ He saw her lips pressing together, as if she was fighting to hold back her words. ‘We need to talk about our deal. Our marriage deal.’
She looked down, becoming even paler. ‘Yes, Rafe, we do.’ There was resignation in her voice. He didn’t want her to resign herself to marriage to him. If they married, it had to be for one reason only. But where did he begin? He couldn’t just blurt out that he loved her. After that staunch denial about his ability to love anyone. She’d think it was the deal, his need to marry and produce an heir which drove him.
‘When you left Villa Casella, I was sure it was over. Certain you didn’t want to marry anyone. Not Nassif. And not me.’ He injected firm determination into his voice. The revelations of the last few days, days which had kept him from coming to Ardu Safra, had fuelled that determination. He wasn’t about to allow her to walk away from him yet. Not until she knew everything.
Kaliana’s breath was dragged in on a ragged inhale, her nervousness all too clear. ‘Want isn’t part of it, Rafe. We both know that.’ She moved away from him, sitting in the seat set beneath the windows, the view of her country spreading out behind her reminding him of who she was. Her eyes were full of sadness as she looked up at him. ‘I made a deal, Rafe. A deal I have to keep—for my country’s sake, my people’s sake, I have to keep that deal. I have to marry.’
‘I am here to free you of that deal, that marriage.’ He stood firm against the shock rushing over her face. The same shock he’d felt surge through him when he’d realised there was a way out—for both of them. A way for them to be free to explore their love.
Her brows furrowed in confusion. ‘How?’ She breathed the word as if grasping onto a lifeline, confirming everything she’d led him to believe before she’d left Villa Casella. She didn’t want marriage. Because she was still in love with Alif, the man fate had snatched away from her.
‘I have put a deal to your father, one that will help the country’s finances and give you the time you need.’ Her father had needed little persuading. It seemed he knew, even accepted, that deep down his daughter had no wish for marriage.
She blinked rapidly, sitting up quickly, dragging in a breath and pressing her fingers to her forehead, her face paling. He moved towards her, unable to help himself. Crouching down in front of her, he looked into those gorgeous brown eyes. ‘Are you unwell?’
‘No.’ The word shot from her and she pulled back. ‘I just don’t understand. Why would you do that? Why would my father even accept it?’ She looked up at him. ‘Why didn’t he say anything to me?’
‘I asked him not to.’ That got her attention. ‘I wanted to tell you myself. Face to face.’
‘Then you had better tell me. Everything.’ She trembled, looking even paler, and again he worried that she was ill. ‘Tell me, Rafe.’
‘Your father and I have struck a deal, on the understanding that you do not have to marry at all. The finances of the country are now settled and the pressure off.’
‘How?’ Her delicate brows furrowed into a frown of disbelief. ‘How are they settled?’
‘I’m financing the deal.’ He didn’t want to go into details now. Not when he needed other details. Emotional details.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘I know you loved Alif. I know you believe you will never find that love again.’
He paused as she looked at him, her head tilting to one side, pain in her eyes, in every line of her frown. ‘I did love him,’ she whispered as she looked down at her hands, tightly knotted in her lap.
‘I know,’ he said, lifting her chin up, needing to see her face, her eyes. ‘Now you are free to find real love. To marry for love.’
‘What about the baby?’ The words shuddered from her on a sob. One that was racked with pain.
‘The baby?’ For a moment everything stopped. The baby he’d needed but hadn’t wanted. Now, just like his feelings for this woman, all that had changed. He did want to be a father. But only if this woman agreed to be his wife. And only when she could love him. However long that took.
‘You are the only male Casella able to continue the family. You need a baby. A son.’ There was a hint of hysteria in her voice and he sat next to her, taking her clasped hands between his.
‘So much has changed since that night at Villa Casella. Emma...’ he began but Kaliana pulled her hands back so quickly the words dried up. Even now, he couldn’t believe what he’d learnt about his brother’s marriage, or that his father was happy with it.
‘You are in love with Emma, I know.’ Ice slipped into her words. Her eyes.
Rafe looked down. Damn it, he should have been more honest with Kaliana. More open. Maybe then she’d have seen that the pain of Emma’s rejection was keeping him from falling in love with her.
He took a deep breath, looking at her, willing her to understand. ‘I was in love with Emma, but not any more. Now I love her as a friend. A sister-in-law. My brother’s wife. The woman who, with her husband, my twin brother, is planning to adopt.’
* * *
A wave of nausea rushed over Kaliana and she placed her palm over her stomach. Over the baby she and Rafe had created with such passion. The baby he no longer wanted—or needed. The baby he’d done a deal with her father to avoid having. Panic rushed through her and she grasped at anything.
‘What about the Casella heir? The next generation.’
He smiled at her, breaking her heart with the kindness she saw in his eyes. ‘Enzo’s lawyers have found one small loophole in the inheritance terms. So long as Enzo and Emma officially adopt, that child will be able to inherit. My father is more than happy with that news. As am I.’
He still crouched in front of her, looking at her with concern on his face, as if he knew she was worried about something. She looked into the darkness of his eyes and a smile slipped, weakly and involuntarily, to her lips. ‘You’ll be an uncle.’
He looked at her, his gaze steady and firm, holding her prisoner. ‘Sì, I will be an uncle. And, thanks to you, to the effort you went to, encouraging me to reach out to Enzo, I now have my brother back.’
‘I wish you’d introduced me properly to Emma.’ The words lurched from her as she searched his face.
‘I should have,’ he said, looking down briefly before looking back up into her eyes. The barriers he’d always locked himself behind were down. She could see beyond them. Could she reach the man she loved if she tried? ‘I don’t know why I didn’t.’
But if she didn’t reach him... The thought of rejection kept her silent.
‘Maybe because our relationship was just pretence. Because our emotions weren’t involved.’ He shrugged as if it didn’t matter. But it did. It mattered because she loved him.
‘What happens now you’ve made this deal with my father and the Casella heir is secured?’ She shocked herself at how businesslike her voice sounded. How calm.
‘We are both free of the obligations of our deal. We no longer need to marry.’ His jaw was pressed firmly together, and his eyes hardened. He was waiting for her to agree. Waiting for her to free him.
‘Then there will be no wedding,’ she said, more to herself than Rafe, her mind drifting off with the secret of the baby she carried. Rafe’s baby. She didn’t want to be set free, but if she told him now? He’d think she wanted him just because of the baby. She looked at him, trying to read his mind. Trying to guess what he wanted.
‘And no need to have a baby.’
‘No. The deal is off. And one day, when you find love again, you will look back on this moment and thank me.’ He stood up. That was it? He was walking out on her.
She dragged in a breath and the words almost tumbled out, but she stopped them. How could she tell him she loved him now? That she’d already found that love? A deep and meaningful love she’d never felt for Alif. How could she say that it didn’t matter what deal was on—or off—she wanted to be his wife?
Because she loved him.
She pushed her fingers into her hair. She couldn’t tell him that, couldn’t open her heart to more pain. But she had to tell him about the baby. Whatever else happened, he had a right to know.
‘It’s really good that everything is sorted, that you and Enzo are friends again, and that everyone lives happily ever after.’ She dragged her hands down through her hair, clutching at the ends of it as if it were her lifeline, looking at him, hating how what she had to say would change everything. ‘But there is one problem.’
‘Problem?’ His eyes narrowed in suspicion.
She lifted her chin determinedly, looking into his eyes, into the darkness that had so often been filled with desire for her. Now they were clouded with something which broke her heart. Fear. Already it seemed he was drawing away from her. He’d made a deal with her father simply to enable him to walk away from her, their engagement. Would he walk away from their child too?
‘What problem, Kaliana?’ Rafe asked firmly.
She just had to say it. There was no easy way. She took a deep breath, letting it go, looking directly into his eyes. ‘I’m pregnant.’
* * *
The floor dropped from beneath Rafe’s feet. Or at least that was how it felt. Kaliana was pregnant. With his child.
A Shocking Proposal in Sicily Page 14