I stared at the black clothing I owned, a silk gown, a black skirt Viney had loaned me, and that was it. Lulu wouldn’t like black. She’d want something pink or yellow. Something happy like her. I found the ruffliest, pinkest, prettiest thing I could find and tied a ribbon around my hair with a huge bow on top. I wore pink shoes with ruffles. They were tea party shoes. My whole outfit was a tea party outfit. I hadn’t felt like doing that for a long time, not since the dance and my plans had slid completely out of control. Slippery mages.
I left my room and stopped when I saw Zach on the couch, playing a video game. He looked up and raised his eyebrows when he saw me. His face was still a little bit weird, but it wasn’t cracked in half. I exhaled in relief.
I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t, not without saying what needed to be said. “Zach.” It took me a long time to get the words out. “I’m sorry.”
He gave me a sweet smile that couldn’t disguise the way one eye gleamed wickedly. “What for?”
I pressed my lips together before I sighed and slumped down. “I shouldn’t have hurt you. I should have channeled it into my hurters.”
“That’s what you put into your hurters?”
I shrugged. “How can I make it up to you?”
He stood up and looked neat and crisp in his suit. “You can ride in the front seat on the way to the funeral.”
The blood drained from my face as I stared at him. “Drake was going to take me.”
“You’ll have to tell him that you have other plans. Now I owe him for fixing my face.”
I chewed on my lower lip. Zach had a debt to Drake? Would he be wearing mustaches in the near future? “Okay. I’ll ride in the front. I guess making me throw up is only fair.”
He smiled gently. “We do love justice and equity. Ladies first,” he added, gesturing towards the door.
I walked past him, chin lifted as I unwrapped a lavender lollipop, cellophane wrapper crinkling. This would be so fun. I would throw up all over him. I glanced at him and winked. “You’re going to love this.”
He shrugged. “It’s what she’d want.”
I held onto my smile through sheer will power. Macaroons, if he started talking about Pitch, I would shove my lollipop down his throat.
“Also, I want lollipops,” he said as we walked down the pillared porch towards the parking structure.
“Sorry, lollipops or puke, not both.”
“You made me owe Drake. I’m not going to like repaying him.”
I shrugged. “Not my problem. You could just walk around showing the world what kind of a two-faced jerk you really are.”
He laughed and slid his hand in my arm. What was with mages thinking they could touch me? I turned to push him away and he took that second to bend down and put my lollipop in his mouth. I froze, letting him pull it out of my limp fingers while I stared at him in horror.
He sucked on it for a minute, his eyes going all big and soft before he smiled at me, that smile that was one hundred percent lie. “Thanks for the lollipop. I’ve missed them. I’ve missed you. I don’t have friends, not like Drake. Having you flop into my life like a drunk penguin has been the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You’ve already met her. What are you trying to get from me with all this sweet talking?”
He shrugged and spun my lollipop on his tongue. He didn’t even act like it tasted like bitter dirt. What was wrong with him? “Penny, for five seconds forget about whatever plan you had that I messed up. We had fun. I miss you. Viney misses you, ruffles and pink, tea parties and lollipops, particularly the lollipops. If you’re my friend, I can help protect you from the big bad wolf.”
He jerked his chin towards Drake where he was waiting beside his big, green suburban. Drake looked at me with his gleaming eyes, the streak of mischief he didn’t try to hide. I wanted to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and cling to him as long as was humanly possible.
I glanced at Zach. “You could, but you wouldn’t. You owe him. Drake always gets what he wants. If he wanted me, he’d have me. He hasn’t even tried to seduce me.”
Zach’s smile grew a little wider, crazier. “Now we can see his reaction when you tell him that you want to ride with me instead of him.”
I fumbled in my bag for another lollipop, careful to keep it away from Zach even though he still had the first one and showed no signs of putting it down. I turned to face Drake.
Zach squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll be waiting in my car.”
He walked off leaving me to stare at Drake. I’d asked him to come, begged him practically. I beamed at him brightly and held out three lollipops for him to pick his flavor. He took a tiramisu, but didn’t smile.
“What did Zach mean?”
“He wants to make me throw up, to get back for what I did to his face. I get to sit in the front of his little car. I guess I should thank you for fixing him, but I liked him better the other way.”
He raised his eyebrows, but that was his only expression. “You don’t owe him anything. Either he chooses to press charges, or he drops them. He can’t make you pay for harm. That’s not how it works.”
I stared at him. I wanted to lean into him, to close my eyes and get drunk on black cherry. Instead I shrugged and stepped away. “I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t lose control. Not ever. I should suffer for that lapse. It’s right.”
He smiled crookedly and grabbed my hand, squeezing my fingers tightly. “You’re a witch talking about what’s right? So charming. All right, but promise not to offer to make out with him afterwards.”
I clung to his fingers and felt a tiny bit better. I smiled at him sweetly. “Why, do you think he’d take me up on it?”
He laughed and shook his head. “With Zach I really couldn’t say. I’ll see you there.”
“You’re still coming?”
He raised my hand, hesitated for a moment before he brushed my knuckles with his soft lips. A rush of shivers spread through my body at that contact and his eyes sparked green before he let go. “Of course I’m coming. This is going to require perfect control so that you don’t reveal too much to humans who are dealing with their own grief. You’ll be fine, but in case you need me, I’ll be there.”
I swallowed and nodded, fighting down stupid tears. He’d picked a tear resistant suit just so I could cry on him. Maybe I’d do that at the funeral.
The drive with Zach was silent. I clung to the handle until my fingers were white and trembling, then threw up before we even parked. I scrambled out of his car, my knees pressed into the pavement, glad for the icy cement and bits of gravel that dug into my skin. I needed to feel solid earth and none of that horrifying movement.
Drake’s hand rested on my shoulder, and the sound of his voice, words weaving a protection around me, easing the nausea, the fear bit by bit until I could stand and give him a shaky smile.
“Do you want to make out?”
He laughed and the sound wrapped around me like a sweet and tender octopus, squeezing the misery out of me. Drake gave me his hand and I took it, clinging to him while Zach walked silently at my side, his face in deep concentration. He was trying to understand what I was made of. Sugar and spice, vomit and vice, that’s what little girls are made of.
Drake leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Are you okay?”
Probably not. I didn’t usually play with words in my head when I was okay. What was okay? Pitch wanted to come and play with me. I smiled at him brightly. “How considerate of you to ask. I love your suit. Is it really water resistant?”
He pursed his beautiful mouth. “It’s resistant to everything other than beautiful women. Penny, you are exquisite. Are you going to a tea party later?”
I stared at him and brushed his lips with my fingers. They didn’t ask my permission, just touched him like his lips belonged to me. “One party at a time. My dress is not waterproof. Please don’t cry on me. You’ll have to use Zach, okay?”
I grabbed his hand a
nd clung to it as we walked into the church, my skin prickling once we were over the threshold. It was so different from what I thought of as a church. It wasn’t big and fancy with gothic spires and stained glass, but simple and spare. The meeting room was basically a gym with folding chairs, the small coffin set up on the side so you could pass it as you walked in. Tables covered in bright cards and letters from people who were saying goodbye to little Lulu were behind and around the coffin. Friends from school, neighbors, and of course my princesses who were stuck in the hospital so they couldn’t come to the party.
I swallowed as I read Sally’s awkward scrawl. Who had helped her write? I should have helped her. I paused in front of the casket, at the body that had nothing of Lulu in it. I stared at the face, plastic looking. She didn’t look human. Her body was abandoned, like her soul had flown away.
I looked over at Drake and he gave me a sad smile. No. We didn’t have to be sad. Her spirit, her soul was somewhere better. Somewhere she could run and play and never hurt again, where she would be surrounded by angels who laughed and sang, read her stories and loved her.
I walked away from the casket, Drake’s hand in mine. The meeting was sweet, full of laughter and tears, stories of Lulu and songs she’d loved. I sang under my breath while Drake stayed silent beside me. Zach sat on my other side until he darted out, his face pale.
I glanced at Drake, but he only squeezed my fingers and tugged me slightly closer so his arm was pressed against mine. Somehow, between the songs and the tears, I had this unmistakable impression that everything was going to be okay. I leaned my head on Drake’s shoulder and for the first time in a long time, the knots in my stomach untangled.
I breathed in and out the scent of black cherry mixed with ashes. When we stepped out of the church, I still held onto his arm, smiling at all the other people who felt like friends. If they loved Lulu then they were. In the parking lot, Zach was slouched against his little red car, his hands pushed into his pockets, breath steaming the air. Would it snow soon?
“How did you do it?” Zach asked Drake.
Do what? I looked up at Drake and he shot Zach a smile, the kind that had nothing nice in it.
“I like torture, particularly when doled out by someone as sweet as Penny Lane.” He kissed my hand, staring at me over my knuckles while his soft lips brushed my skin. My lips parted and I found myself sighing towards him as my knees went weak. A different kind of knot tied in my stomach.
Zach opened the door and tugged me away from Drake.
“What are you doing?” I protested. Macaroons and bonbons, what was his problem? Apparently something, because he still looked a little pale.
“Unless you’d rather ride with Drake.”
Of course I’d rather ride with Drake. Was he stupid? I glanced at Drake, the way his lips curled so deliciously. My hand buzzed from the soft pressure of his lips. I weaved on my feet and in my moment of weakness, Zach swept me into the car, closing the door firmly behind me. I put my hand on the glass and with a smile, Drake covered my fingers with his. For a moment my heart stopped beating while I stared into his dark eyes, fathomless depths that ached and burned, before Zach pulled out with a jerk that left my stomach behind, or maybe it was my heart.
I stared out of the window unseeing even as the fear grew and spread through me. It wasn’t so bad.
“Penny, he’s dangerous. You do realize that, don’t you?”
I turned to look at Zach. He looked so strange. I lightly rested my fingers on his wrist, the one with the thick scar. “What do you think he’s going to do to me?”
He shrugged, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. “Don’t be like Viney, like all the other girls. Don’t get lost in Drake.”
I frowned at him. “Why not? You didn’t want me to get lost in you, and I’m the kind of girl who likes being lost.”
He took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Penny, but I belong to Pitch.”
“And Viney. You could have belonged to me, too. No, that wouldn’t work. I want to be lost and you want to be owned. I can’t own someone and be lost in them at the same time. We’d never get anything done.” Five more minutes passed in relative silence before I gave in. “You are so loud when you aren’t talking about her. You’re giving me a headache.”
He grinned at me and drove a little bit faster. “There’s nothing to talk about. She hasn’t come since that last time. I told you about it.”
I frowned at him. She’d written on my mirror without visiting her new friend? How strange. Had she seen Drake? What would he do with her? How could I protect him? Zach didn’t understand who was the most dangerous person in that school. Odd since he followed Pitch so passionately.
“Zach, what exactly do you think that Drake will do to hurt me?”
He shrugged. “I can’t predict what he does. No one can.”
“I don’t mind unpredictable.”
“He will destroy you if you let him.”
I smiled and sucked on my lollipop. “Yes, but he’s a mage. Maybe it’s time to simply accept my fate. Did he destroy Viney or all those other girls?”
“You’re not like them. You care. Your vulnerability, your innocence, it’s all irresistible to him because he wants to crush it out of you. I know because I feel that way too.”
“He won’t. I can’t be destroyed. I’ve tried. I’ve tried and tried and tried not to be so soft and stupid and weak, so needy. It’s frustrating to be weak when the world wants to crush you, but it’s who I am. I’m actually quite resilient.”
I took a big breath before I grabbed his left wrist both of my hands and focused on his strength. I needed to cling to someone and he was there. Instead of him pushing me away, he covered my hands with his, holding on tight for the rest of the ride.
I didn’t throw up on him, but I still dropped his hand and scrambled out of the car the second he pulled up in the parking garage. I didn’t wait for him before I started walking towards Lilac Stories. I didn’t have a perfect plan, but things would be okay. I still had that feeling and it made my footsteps light as I headed into our dorm.
I plopped down on the couch beside Viney where she was playing a video game. She glanced at me, but her glare was a little softer, more puzzled. “Do you want to play?”
I beamed at her. “I’d love to. Tell me all about Drake’s favorite things.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”
I leaned forward. “I’m making a list of everything Drake. I’ve joined the ranks of shamelessly obsessed Drake groupies.” Why not? Either he’d very quickly get sick of me if I did obnoxious Drake groupie things, or he’d continue to be so sweet that I would be as hopelessly lost as Zach thought I’d be. Whatever. I wanted to indulge in my obsession instead of fighting it. Besides, it was something to do with Viney. I hadn’t really hung out with her for ages.
She studied me with a strangely blank expression. “But he likes you.”
I shrugged. “Like? What does that even mean? You guys are friends and you’re still obsessed with him. It’ll be so much more fun to be obsessed together with you and Zach. What will Drake be doing tonight? Can we be secret ninjas and watch him in the tourney?”
She raised her eyebrows then tapped the table with her badly chipped black nails. “He won’t be performing tonight, but he’ll probably be support, working behind the scenes, so he’ll be in the men’s changing room and maybe we can check him out there.”
I swallowed. “Wait, the men’s changing room? Like where men take off their clothes? Really? Cool.” My heart pounded while I felt kind of sick. What kind of madness was this? It was one of my stupid ideas, the ones I got from time to time that had no logical reason. I couldn’t see Drake naked. I could barely see him bare chested without going completely stupid.
She cocked her head and handed me a controller. “Are you sure this is what you want to do? It might make him think you’re a pathetic loser.” Her words were tight, clipped, like that’s what he thought of her.
; I hesitated before I smiled brightly. “Pathetic losers rock! Solidarity! Down with marshmallows! Seriously, you think he’ll be naked? I’ve never seen a naked guy before. Isn’t it scary?”
A tiny smile flickered over her mouth before she scowled darkly. “What are you wearing? I thought you were going to a funeral.”
“She thought someone should look like cake in case they were short on desserts.”
I turned and looked at Zach where he stood near the door, like he wasn’t certain where he should go. I stared at him for a long time before I gave up with all self-protection against the psychotic mages of Rosewood. The more the merrier. I patted the cushion beside me. “Three player game?”
When he settled down beside me, he was kind of like the old Zach, and kind of not. Maybe it was the dark blue eye that I could still see. “Are you fighting in tonight’s Chemiss thing? Are you always blue lights or do you like other colors? What do you do against a blue opponent if you’re still blue? Are you going to a bar fight afterwards? If so, I am coming with you.”
He put down his controller and frowned at me. “Look, Viney, it’s the old annoying Penny. Do you think that this means that she’s going to let us have her lollipops?”
Viney nudged me. “I wouldn’t mind a tiramisu. We’ll pause the game.”
I shook my head as I looked from one to the other. “Sure. Tiramisu with extra caffeine for you, and for Zach, poison green apple.”
“I’ll make Viney taste test it for me,” he said as I got up and headed to my room.
“Yeah, like I’m putting my mouth on anything of yours,” she snarled.
I skipped to my room. I felt like the world was upside down in precisely the right kind of way. When it fell it would be dreadful, but what else was there?
Chapter 23
Witch
Viney and I were crammed intimately into a closet. She had night vision goggles, connected to the spy camera by a long cord attached to the top of the closet so we could see through the hole we’d carefully drilled into the men’s locker room.
Dread Delight: Rosewood Academy for Witches and Mages (Darkly Sweet Book 2) Page 21