by Lee Quail
I wanted my man to feel wanted and needed like no other man. He lay on the grass flat on his back, relaxed and ready for what was to come while I stood over him with his head between my legs. The sight of my butt pleasing him.
“Fuck, that is so sexy. Fuck,” he said, warmly.
I came down on his upper half and kissed him upside down, our tongues reaching deeper, leaving us with a uniquely satisfying experience. I took his chin into my mouth and felt its hardness and the fine bristles of fair hair scratch against my tongue. Kissing and massaging his upper half, I crawled my way down his body until both our cocks were standing to attention ready to be engulfed by our wet mouths and playful tongues. I ignored his cock for a moment and rolled my tongue up and down and in a circle across the patch of skin just behind his balls, close to his love hole.
With my cock in his mouth, and my tongue rolling over his balls and the skin behind it, he cried out in ecstasy, exactly the response I craved.
I never expected his reaction when my lips found his cock. I pursed my lips together and kissed the tip of his cock with small pecks and with each peck his cock jerked more and more, with each jerk my lips parted a little more to gently squeeze the top of his cock between them. My lips had collected enough saliva to turnover and gently suck on his cock to draw out the length of it.
He squirmed in beautiful agony.
“Fuck! Fuck that is wild! What are you doing to me? Jesus, where did you learn to do that?” He asked.
“Hah! The school of hard knocks.” I replied and then engulfed his entire cock with my wet, mouth and he stopped breathing from the thrill running through his body.
He followed my every move and I felt lifted, all I wanted was to satisfy him, because I really had no idea if this would be the last day together.
My tongue found his pleasure hole and as I licked and spat into it, enough to lubricate it for my finger, his whimpering turned into a cry of joy, and his cock thumped wildly beneath my chin. I inserted a finger gently and slowly without lifting my tongue and the joy I felt when he did the same to me, was like being close to an explosion of fireworks.
My finger went in deeper and deeper with each thrust and similarly with each thrust, my cock throbbed and burst into life as my soul moaned.
“Push it in, detective. I want to feel it. Push it deep.” I begged, knowing that my cock yearned for a desperate release.
What I didn’t expect was Shane’s sudden release. With my finger deep inside, and my tongue lubricating his hole, he suddenly thrust his pelvis upwards and an explosion of white cum landed in the valley between my pecs.
I came immediately afterwards, as his finger penetrated me, and while coming, he bent his mouth over to catch my own jets of cum.
We lay silently, as though glued together by our body fluid, panting wildly, licking each other’s cum and kissing it back into our mouths.
“You’re a fucking sex god, Colonel,” Shane said later on the way to the house.
“Only with you I am.”
“That’s going to be our motto from now on in. Only with you”
***
Our last supper at Canton’s Cottage was a celebration of so many things. Finding my son and his man. Meeting Shane. Dealing with my own insecurities of coming out fully. A celebration of a love I can only describe as a gift from heaven itself.
Edward and Raw raised their glasses and made a final toast. “To all of us. Family and friends, forever.” Edward said, holding his glass high.
“You both look amazingly happy tonight,” Raw said.
“I’m over the moon,” Shane said, glancing my way. I kissed him full on the mouth to shouts of joy from Edward and Raw.
“Actually, I am too,” I said, raising my glass.
“Okay, so let me get this right,” Edward said, walking out onto the patio. We followed and stood against the railing. “Shane, you said you’re leaving tomorrow morning after breakfast. Dad, you’re leaving the day after, is that right?”
“I wanted to spend some quality time with you and Raw, yes.”
“Remember we told you that we had plans to return to Johannesburg?” Edward asked.
“You mentioned it,” I said.
“Raw’s dad contacted us earlier while you guys were at the lake and asked if Raw could come through with you, Shane. He wants Raw to start coaching as soon as possible because suddenly, it seems, there’s been a spate of gay guys wanting to box. He hasn’t got enough staff.”
“That’s great news,” Shane said, punching the air. “Business is good, then.”
“It’ll be a pleasure.”
“And I need a place to stay,” Raw said, pulling a funny face.
“Done and dusted. You can stay at my place, like I said,” Shane offered.
“That settles it, then.”
Shane
I left Raw at the gym and promised to pick him up in the afternoon at closing time, but he said not to worry, he’d be staying at Curisco’s for the night. On this, the last part of my journey, between Raw’s Gym and my house, nerves got the better of me. I had no idea if Joe would be home or on one of his mysterious trips to Durban or Cape Town, Bloemfontein or Port Elizabeth. I Wished Gregory was with me, but I did promise him the moment I arrived home I’d let him know.
Nervously I inserted my key into the front door. The house smelled of disinfectant. It always did. Beryl disinfected everything on a weekly basis. Joe’s immune system didn’t have the strength to fight off even the common cold. Aplastic anaemia damages stem cells in a person's bone marrow. The bone marrow makes red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets, which are all essential for the body. Joe’s marrow stopped doing that. His own immune system turned on him and attacked his healthy bone marrow cells. It’s debilitating. And eventually it’s fatal.
I stepped into the house quietly and lugged my luggage upstairs, stopping halfway when Beryl appeared at the top of the landing. “You’re home,” she said, sounding irritated.
“Long journey.”
“How are the boys?”
“They’re just awesome. They send regards.”
“Joe got back this morning.”
“He did? From where?”
“Bloemfontein.”
“He spent a day or so with me at Canton’s Cottage,” I said, passing her.
“Warning. He’s not in a good mood. I think he expected you back last week.”
“I don’t care what he expected. He should have been home days ago.”
“Something’s happened here. Want to talk about it?” She asked, following me to my bedroom door.
“Long story. We had problems.”
“I’ll make some coffee. You must be tired from the drive.”
“It wasn’t too bad,” I opened the door and entered the room. “Come in. I need to talk to you.” Closing the door behind her, I threw my carry bag onto the bed. I put the other one, filed with dirty clothes, in the bathroom.
Beryl folded her arms. “What’s going on, brother?”
“I met someone.”
She didn’t flinch. “It was inevitable. Joe’s become a shadow of the guy he once was. He doesn’t make it easy for anyone. You meet him at Canton’s Cottage?”
I nodded and smiled just remembering him. “Edward’s dad.”
“You’re not serious.”
“It just happened. Like it was meant to be. He’s the warmest, sexiest man you will ever see. He’s humble and decent and fuck, I can’t explain it. It’s like he’s alien.”
“Coming from you, that’s quite a recommendation. I’m actually glad for you. We all have our own stories. But I would suggest you don’t tell Joseph, not now.”
“He knows.”
“No wonder he’s like this.”
I shook my head and giggled. “He’s like this because he’s suffering the humiliation of being branded a vicious, aggressive monster. He wanted me to return with him two days earlier and I said no. We had a talk and I told him I no longer loved him the
way he wants to be loved. He lost it. Hurt me. I had to see a doctor because Joe bruised my kidneys. If it weren’t for Gregory, Edward’s dad, I’d be dead.”
“’I’ve seen so much of violence, but being so close to it – it hurts like hell. When do I get to meet Gregory?”
“Soon, I hope. He’s leaving the cottage tomorrow. Spending some quality time with Edward.”
“Now that you’re back I’m going down to the store to buy a couple of things.”
“No. Please don’t. You can’t leave me alone with Joe.”
“Then let’s go together. I’ll wait for you to finish.”
She left the room and II unzipped my bag. Some clothes needed to be washed. Then I saw it. Something I never expected. Something that didn’t belong to me. My brows lifted and a voracious smile limped over my face.
I picked it up and held it to my nose. It may have been the deepest sniff I’d ever sniffed. The navy blue underwear Gregory had caught me sniffing last night.
At last some sanity in an insane world.
I wondered how things were at the cottage. Maybe they went horse riding. Maybe Gregory went for a swim in the lake without me.
The scent of Gregory’s genitals filled my nostrils. It didn’t last long so I closed my eyes and sniffed again. This time deeper. My entire body relaxed. I imagined Gregory’s limp manhood snuggled inside tight blue jeans under a thatch of pubic hair resting between his thighs. I visualised drops of dried urine and semen.
As my body relaxed, blood engorged my dick, and suddenly I had a hyper-awareness of my own erect penis. It was as if my dick got super-high. It twerked inside my trousers and I felt lightheaded so I did what any hot-blooded man would do; I rushed to the bathroom and closed the door, quickly unbuttoned my jeans and released my boner. I grabbed it with one hand and stuffed Gregory’s underwear against my mouth and nostrils with the other.
Gregory’s lips around my dick.
Gregory’s tongue rimming my backyard. Gregory tugging at my cock with the suction from his lips. Driving me into spasms of ecstasy.
Gregory biting my nipples until I cry. His finger twisting and turning in my butt.
I came all over the toilet seat.
“Shane!” A voice screamed out. It was Joe as he climbed the steps to our room.
I hurriedly washed my dick and left my t-shirt hanging over my trousers. I double-checked for tell-tale signs of semen on my jeans. Satisfied they were clean, I hurried into the room.
He knocked on the door.
“I’m unpacking. Lots of dirty clothes.”
“Let me in, Shane. I won’t cause trouble, I promise.”
Beryl was home, probably downstairs, so I didn’t worry. I opened the door and allowed him into my room.
“Sit here,” Joseph patted the bed. “Now I want you to tell me all about this man, Gregory Basye Sander. I know you had sex with him.”
“What?”
“I know you had sex with him. When I met him the other day I could see it on both your faces.”
“You could see we had sex by looking at my face?”
“It’s a feeling.”
“You had a feeling?”
“Did you or did you not have sex with him?”
“Yes. I had sex with him.”
The red mark, after Joe slapped me, spread quickly across my cheek.
“You’re a fucking whore, Shane Devin. A fucking whore. And if you think by having sex with that old man is a way out of your promise, you’re mistaken. We’re going to get married and you’re going to love me. Only me. Tell me about him. I want to know everything. Everything. Even the length of his dick. Has he got a big dick? Bigger than mine? Is that what turns you on? Tell me!”
“He’s forty-eight,” I replied eventually in a monotone. “A Lieutenant Colonel in the air force. There’s a tattoo on his neck that says Perfecio. Just the word. No picture. He has a beautiful mind. He’s not completely out. Being a pilot he fears the air force will retaliate.”
“”How was the sex?”
That I would have to explain the sex never once entered my thoughts. I gazed at the floor without saying a word. I could never tell how good or bad sex was with anyone. That’s a sacred thing. One of those things sacred to me. He pushed me, I fell backwards on the bed, and suddenly he was on me, tearing my shorts off with brutal strength that came from a place of anger.
“No, Joe. No!” I shouted.
Taking me into his mouth I closed my eyes. He sucked on and on and it seemed forever but I couldn’t get a hard on. While sucking he unzipped his own fly and climbed over me and shoved his cock into my mouth, deep into my throat and I gagged as my throat shut the door. He pushed deeper and I couldn’t breathe. With one quick turn I was on my stomach and he pushed his cock hard into my dry ass. This was a side of him I had never seen. The pain. Oh man, it was unbearable. I couldn’t stop it or the tears that fell onto the sheet. He hurt me and I had no option but to take it like a man. I had wronged him and this was my punishment.
He came inside me and when he finished got off and went to the bathroom to clean up. I lay there, not believing what had just happened and when he came out I was still there, half-naked, confused, dazed and the bed linen covered with blood smears.
“How was it? You liked that, yes. Fuck it. Answer me!”
I didn’t answer. I just lay there for what seemed like an eternity while he carried on and on about Gregory. “Did you tell him about me?”
Again, guilt overcame me and I stared at the floor while Joe waited for an answer.
“Do you think you’ll see him again?”
I missed Gregory Basye Sander. I needed him. He wasn’t there. No one could save me from this monster.
God, how I missed him.
***
I don’t know how long I lay there in shock. Sporadic tears fell and then I was calm and then the tears started up again. All I know is that after a while there was silence. I slowly got up and looked around, Joe was gone. Relieved I went to the bathroom and puked into the toilet bowl. I puked until there was nothing left but a dry lurching in my throat. My arse hurt. When I looked I saw blood on my trousers. He had torn me, literally, torn me.
I could never tell Beryl. Although she was a doctor. She was still my sister. After showering I applied Vaseline to my anus, pulled on a fresh set of clothing, and looked for my phone. I looked everywhere. It was nowhere to be found. I had to get hold of Gregory.
Downstairs I asked Beryl if she had seen the phone. She shrugged and thought it might still be in the car. I looked there, on the floor, between the seats, in the boot. Nothing.
Back inside Beryl came to me and took my hand.
“What happened in your room, Shane?”
“Nothing. Really nothing.”
“He hurt you, didn’t he?”
I fell silent.
“You need to close the door to your heart, Shane.”
I heard her. She wanted me to leave him. Stop loving him. I questioned myself as to why I was still hanging on. The answer never came.
She dialled a number and made a doctor’s appointment for me for Friday.
Gregory
I left Canton’s Cottage with a broken heart.
Shane had promised to let me know the moment he got home and I waited. So many doubts entered my mind. I should have left with him. The more I thought about it, I realised I had allowed the man of my dreams to slip through my fingers. Before I left, Raw gave me Shane’s address and just for a moment I felt better, but there was this niggling feeling that I had lost him. I took it out on the car. Slammed the gears in place. Accelerated in slow zones. Overtook on white lines. It didn’t cross my mind that it had something to do with Joe, or Shane’s cell phone.
This wasn’t a change of job, or a company transfer or a military commitment. This was pure heartbreak and emotional fatigue. I wanted what we had at the cottage to last forever. Clearly an erroneous expectation of durability.
Back home I unpacked, did
laundry time and watered the garden with Shane constantly on my mind. I had his address. I could get into the car and drive there. What if he didn’t want to see me? I was sure he had gone to the gym and Curisco didn’t tell him. Or maybe he had not gone to the gym.
While watering the garden, a car pulled into the drive and Dirk got out. I hadn’t spoken to him since the incident in the Congo, and believe it or not, I actually enjoyed seeing him again.
“Hey, Greg. Good to see.”
“Hi, Dirk. How’s everyone? The kids?”
“First you. How was your trip?”
“One word: Eventful.”
“I bet you and Edward had a lot of catching up to do.”
“He’s grown into a fantastic young man and his husband is awesome. We bonded and caught up on so many years. I love the way he calls me dad.”
“That’s awesome.”
“How about you? How’s your wife and kids?”
“She’s gone, Greg. I told you I’d be divorcing her and it’s happening. She took the twins. Staying with her parents.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. I need to live my life my way. I’m gay and I should have accepted it years ago.”
“Strange you talk like that. I met a guy on the farm and if anything, he showed me that acceptance begins with loving yourself. I missed that. I don’t think I want to keep myself a secret anymore.”
“I’ve had the same epiphany. So many years wasted thinking that the other side of me was bad. That it had no advantages. I can finally live a life of freedom and flexibility. Before I came out to my wife I assumed the responsibilities that go with family life. Now, I can come and go as I please. I have more money and I’m not paying to get laid. It’s completely liberated me. I mean, talking about sex is no longer frightening. I’m more relaxed.”
“You’ve learned all this in three weeks?”