by Lee Quail
“You want to know? Okay, I’ll tell you. That is my husband.”
For a moment there was complete silence in the lounge, until Raw let out a loud laugh. “Your husband? Oh, man, this is good.”
“You’re kidding,” Beryl said with eyes wide open. “You think this is a circus and we’re the clowns. This is serious. What you have done is serious!”
“It’s true. Calvin is my husband.”
Shane whispered, “I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“Believe it,” Joe said. “It’s true I wasn’t closing a deal in Bloemfontein. I was with Calvin and it was his birthday and I took him out for lunch to celebrate.”
“You have a fucking husband?” Beryl still couldn’t wrap herself around the idea.
“I have three husbands.”
Raw laughed again, louder than before. “Jesus Christ, this gets better by the minute. You have more than one husband?”
“I have one in Cape Town, Durban and Bloemfontein.”
“Then what are you doing with me, Joe?” Shane said, his head hurt and he gripped it with both hands.
“Working on you.”
“I don’t know what you mean?”
“You could have been my fourth husband.”
Raw, spat out a sudden burst of laughter, and apologised immediately.
Beryl and Gregory tried to hide the mirth welling up inside.
“You have your opinions about relationships and I have mine. You’re into monogamy and I’m into sharing love. Polygamy. Nothing new or strange about that.”
“This man is nuts,” Raw said.
“You blame me for Shane’s health and everything else. But you’ve been unfaithful too, Shane. You had sex with Gregory at the cottage and you would never have told me if I didn’t ask. I actually didn’t need to ask, I could see it on your face when I got there. So don’t give me this cock and bull story about how deceptive I’ve been.”
Raw shouted above Joe’s voice. “Are you hearing yourself? Are you fucking hearing the shit splashing out of your mouth? You’re the one who is unfaithful. You have men all over the fucking country and Shane, Shane has put up with all your crap over the years because you’re ill. You’re supposed to be ill and I don’t know if I can believe that now. He never knew about your infidelities in all those cities you mentioned. He gave his time and money to be with you, and Beryl resigned from a perfectly good job at a private clinic to nurse you. You’re despicable. Deceitful and conspiring, Joe. Shane is better off without you.”
“What, with a cradle-snatcher?”
“Don’t you call him that. He’s more of a man than you will ever be,” Shane pointed an accusing finger at him.
“Oh, please, don’t you start.”
“Joe,” Shane said, “It’s time to leave.”
“Leave? This is my home too.”
“No. It is not your house. It’s in my name. You’re free to go.”
“I can’t just go.”
“Yes, you can,” Gregory said. “You have a man in every province. Take your pick.”
“Not possible. They have their own lives. They’re all married.”
Raw sat down eventually. “What?! I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“They’re all bisexual. They all have wives.”
Raw burst out laughing. A contagious laugh that set them all laughing, including Joe.
After the laughter died down, Joe poured himself a whiskey and offered everyone, they all refused.
“You think it’s me, that I pursued them. I didn’t. These guys pursued me.”
“How did you meet them?” Raw asked incredulously.
“Online.”
“I’m not interested in how you met them,” Shane said. “You leave tonight. I don’t want you in my house.”
“Shane, I know you’re angry. If I can say something, please.”
“I don’t want to hear anymore. You’ve said enough.”
“Please, just hear me out. Please.”
Gregory glanced at Shane, “It’s okay. It’s okay. Hear him out. I’m here with you. He won’t hurt you.”
“Make it quick, then go,” Shane said.
“I’m sorry about the other night. I don’t know what got into me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I love you, Shane, and when I saw you with Gregory I…I lost it. Please, please forgive me.”
“Fuck you, Joe,” Shane said.
“If you’ll let me stay in the spare room, just for tonight, I’ll leave tomorrow.”
“You leave now. There are hotels. Get yourself a B&B, but go.”
“I tried to be polite and courteous to you, Shane. But, we’re not through with each other. You kick out a dying man and you feel nothing.”
Shane turned to Gregory, “Please, take me away from this. I don’t want to hear another word. Help me up, please.”
“Please, Shane. Just for tonight.”
“You’re all invited to stay at my place,” Gregory suggested.
“Anywhere. I just need to be far away from him.”
Beryl stood and approached Joe about to gulp down more whiskey. She glared at him and suddenly punched him in the face with all her might. The glass fell from his hand and crashed to the floor.
“You get out of this house right now. Right now!”
Joe stormed off toward the front entrance and shouted back. “I’ll fetch my stuff tomorrow. Have a nice life, Shane.”
He slammed the door behind him.
“Jesus, that hurt,” Beryl said, caressing her hand.
“That was one hell of a punch, girl,” Raw said, reaching for her hand. He rubbed her knuckles gently.
“He’s more than sick,” she said.
“Damn! You want a job at the gym?” Raw laughed.
***
Gregory helped Shane up the stairs to his room and turned on the bedside lamps. He pulled the duvet open.
“Which is your favourite side?” Gregory asked.
“I don’t mind.”
“I sleep on the right.”
“I think I’m a middle man, myself.”
“That’s cool. Come on, climb in.”
“Gregory, I think there’s something wrong,” Shane pointed towards his wound.
“What is it, hun?”
“I can feel it’s wet.”
“Do you want me to check for you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t like the idea of someone checking my behind.”
“Let’s call Beryl.” Gregory punched her number into his cell and asked her to come up.
“She’s on her way.” When Gregory looked up from his phone he found Shane trembling from head to toe.
“I’m feeling so cold, Colonel.”
Gregory quickly pulled him into his arms and covered the front of his body. He gently lay him on the bed and covered him with the duvet.
Beryl knocked and Gregory opened. “Shane says he’s wet down below and he’s shivering from head to toe.”
Beryl approached the bed. “My beautiful brother, I think you’re feeling some seepage but that’s natural. Turn over, let me take a look.”
Gregory stepped towards the door. “I’ll be outside.”
“No, Greg, you stay. If it’s seepage you’ll want to know how to clean it without inflicting pain.” Beryl said, beckoning him closer with her index finger.
“Are you sure?”
“Come on, don’t be a wimp. I’m sure you’ve seen this backside before,” Beryl said, laughing. “An anal fissure needs tender love and care.” She gently swiped a finger across Shane’s lower back and removed the first layer of bandage wedged between his legs. “Okay, mister. It’s not serious. There’s a little blood but that’s because you’re resisting your urge to go. Putting off bowel movements for later can lead to constipation and stools may become harder to pass and end up causing pain and tearing. There will be blood but nothing to be afraid of. Greg, you’ll need to help him with a sponge of warm water to clean the area and place another bandage
between his legs. Before you apply the bandage, make sure his butt is properly lubricated with the nitroglycerin ointment his doctor subscribed. And don’t be afraid to bathe, warm water relieves the pain and you also get cleaned up.”
“Thanks, doctor. I’ll help him.”
“Cal me if you don’t know what to do,” she said, heading for the door.
”I will. Goodnight.”
Later, lying in Shane’s arms, Gregory brought his hand across Shane’s groin and held it there. Shane moved comfortably and moaned. “That feels so good,” he whispered.
Gregory kissed Shane’s nipple and Shane bent his head to kiss Gregory’s tattoo.
“I think I want a tattoo like this,” Shane said.
“What word would you have there?” Gregory gently stroked Shane’s cock as he spoke and Shane groaned again. “’Basye’, it means love.”
“That’s amazing. I’d stare at it all the time.”
“Like I stare at you all the time?”
“We both stare at each other,” Gregory smiled, kissing him on the mouth.
“It’s because you’re unbelievable and I’m so lucky,” Shane said, moving his hand below the duvet to cover Gregory’s cock.
Gregory continued jerking Shane’s cock. “I love your dick.”
“If my backside wasn’t impaired I’d let you fuck me, I want you so badly.”
“That’s okay. It’s not important. You’re important to me. You have been from day one. From the moment I set my eyes on you. Just being with you is enough for me. I love your mind. I love your smell. I love your touch. You know what would be the most amazing thing?” I asked, staring into his eyes.
“Tell me, Colonel.”
“Firstly let me say this. I know you have one of those jobs where your life is in danger on a daily basis. I understand that and accept it. When I’m flying missions in the Congo, my life is also in danger, and that’s why I haven’t been able to commit to anyone. Secondly, I’m not fully out to everyone in my life. I sometimes must lead a double existence to satisfy the half of me that fears coming out fully, but I promise, I’m going to change all that. Thirdly, your safety means more to me than anything in the world. Right now, I fear for your life. I don’t know your sister at all, having met her only once, but I do know she’s special, and I do know loves you very much. The most amazing thing in the world to me would be if you said yes to moving in with me.”
Gregory had no idea if Shane would say yes, but he reached into the bedside drawer and held out the spare key he had put in there earlier. Shane stared at it, deep in thought.
“You’ll be safe with me. No one can threaten you on the base. The guards allow only pre-arranged visitors and there’s no way in hell anyone could climb the outer perimeter walls. But that’s not the only reason I want you here.”
“It all sounds a little too rehearsed,” Shane said, squirming in the palm of Gregory’s hand over his cock.
“I may have recited it to myself a couple of times. But every word comes from my heart. This isn’t rehearsed. I don’t want to lose you, detective. I nearly lost you before and it’s not going to happen again. I want you close. Is that a good enough reason?”
He shrugged and pouted.
“What say you? Will you? Move in with me?”
It seemed like a million years passed and then something crossed his face. “I’d love to move in with you.”
You’d expect them to kiss long deep and hard, instead they lay staring at each other, Shane’s eyes clean as a cot, and soft as gentle rain.
Gregory contemplated blurting the words out but something told him not to get over confidant. But, he couldn’t hold back. Gregory needed him so badly in his life, to share the things only lovers share. To find happiness where society scoffs. Together they could make this work. Together, they could make anything work.
Gregory would be turning forty-eight this year. Shane awakened in him the power of risk. He was determined there would be no more lost numbers. No more mistrust. He had made Gregory the happiest man alive. There could be no other man in his life. Don’t judge. There are no judges here. Just love. For the first time Gregory knew that life was not meant to be lived alone.
After an eternity of staring at each other, Shane eventually asked, “What are you thinking about, Colonel?”
“There is another reason I need you close.”
Shane didn’t take his eyes off Gregory’s lips.
“I’ve fallen in love with you.”
His eyes, such beautiful eyes, filled with tears and he looked at Gregory in disbelief.
“It’s something I’ve felt for a while now. You’ve given so much to the people in your life. You know your faults, your limitations. You’re an amazing man who gives everything of himself to make others happy. I’ve fallen in love with you. I won’t blame you if you don’t feel the same way about me.”
Gregory wiped the tears from his eyes, and he choked out a joyous laugh then took Gregory’s hand and kissed it.
“The day I met you, I knew there was a reason I had come to Canton’s Cottage. That reason was you, Greg. Only you. In those first few moments of meeting you, hearing your voice, staring into your eyes, I felt you and I have been feeling you ever since. You know I love you and I’ve been waiting for this moment. Right now, I’m the happiest guy alive.”
It was as if a curtain opened on a new world for Gregory. The perfection of that moment in time would live with him forever.
“I love you so much,” Shane whispered. “Thank you.”
Gregory wet the palm of his hand with spittle from his mouth and continued jerking Shane with a gentle, consistent stroke. He buried his face into Shane’s neck and whispered, “I love you, Shane Devin. I love everything you are. It’s such an honour having you in my life. I get to have all of you, anytime, anywhere.”
Shane moved his mouth to meet Gregory’s mouth and they shared a long, wet kiss that drove Gregory’s passion; increasing his speed and strength until Shane cried out in blissful agony as his buttock muscles tightened. He spurted a long line over his stomach.
Gregory stepped out of bed and returned with a warm, wet cloth to wipe Shane clean.
“What about you?” Shane asked when Gregory climbed in beside him.
“I told you, I get to have all of you whether we have sex or not. Besides, you’re probably exhausted so let’s sleep. I need to get back to Waterkloof tomorrow for a photoshoot.”
“A photoshoot? Oh, for the award.”
“Exactly. But I’ll be back as quickly as I can, I promise. That is if you want me here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, until you’re better.”
Shane covered Gregory’s mouth with the palm of his hand. “I don’t ever want to be away from you. It’s us, now. Now and forever, Colonel.”
14
The next day, Joe arrived to fetch his belongings at midday and sat on the edge of his bed, in his room, staring at the floor. He didn’t understand Shane. Three weeks ago they were so happy in love, making love. It was heaven. He belonged with Shane of that he was sure, until Gregory stepped in.
Just then, Shane opened the door.
“I heard a noise. You packing?”
Joe stared at the floor. “Can we talk about this?”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Joe.”
“Is this how we end? You and me. Two years of a solid relationship reduced to anger and violence.”
“I was prepared to stay with you until the end, Joe. I even told Gregory that. You told me, before I went to Canton’s Cottage that you want me to meet other people and fall in love after you pass on. I thought you cared.”
“I’m not going to die, Shane.”
“Your illness. It gets worse. There’s no cure.”
“I’m not sick. Never have been. It’s all been a lie.”
“Jesus! Joe. What next? You’re a habitual liar. You’re a fucking fraud. Is this how you get these guys? You lie to them.”
Joe nodded. “Yo
ur sister should have known, she is a doctor.”
“More like a nurse, actually. She didn’t diagnose your illness. All she did was make sure you took the correct dosage of pills. You need help, Joe. You can’t do this to people,” Shane said.
“Sometimes I know it’s wrong. Other times I think I’m living in the lie, and that it’s the right thing.”
“Get some help, Joe. Before you go down that dark road any farther, get help.”
“You think I’m sick. Say it. Say you think I’m sick.”
“You’re not sick, Joe. But, you do need help.”
Shane noticed Joe’s eyes darken and his face went from friendly to taught anger. Still at the door, he turned to leave, and, not taking his eyes off Joe, said, “Take whatever you want Joe.”
A half hour later, Shane knocked on Joe’s door. He knocked again then opened and peeked inside, Joe wasn’t there.
He looked in the lounge, dining room and Joe’s old room and stopped when he heard a noise coming from the kitchen; like metal falling. He cautiously approached the kitchen.
“Joe?”
He wasn’t there.
A long breadknife lay on the floor. He stood in such a way that he could not see Joe’s arm protruding from behind the pillar leading into the hallway.
The moment he came out of the kitchen into the hallway to check the guest toilet, Joe came up from behind and raised a curved knife taken from the kitchen drawer. He swiftly brought it down with such force into Shane’s shoulder that it went in all the way to the handle.
“If I can’t have you, no one will!” His voice was not his own. It seemed possessed by some evil entity. He withdrew the knife as Shane spun around with raised hands and the knife came down again and punctured the palm of Shane’s hand. A black void had taken residence in Joe’s eyes. Shane’s blood spattered all over his face. His hands were bloody.
“You’re mine!”
Sharp, blinding pain shot through Shane’s body as he collapsed to the floor, knocking the vase of flowers off its table. It shattered in the bloody river on the floor. Joe was about to stab him again when he managed to grab a large piece of the vase and slam it against his left temple.
Joe fell, unconscious. He wouldn’t remain unconscious for long. Shane had to move fast. He always carried his phone with him but not this time. He had left it in the bedroom. He struggled to lift himself off the floor and covered his shoulder wound with his healthy hand then raced up the stairs and rested on the landing.