by Tess Summers
He kneeled down, smiling at the boy through tears, talking softly in Spanish. “Hello, Lucas.” Glancing up, he asked, “Does he—does he know I’m—”
The woman didn’t answer him, instead casting her brown eyes at Cassie. She continued speaking Spanish. “Who is this?”
Luke barely looked at Cassie, responding gruffly, “Mi… amiga.” My friend.
What happened to wanting to marry me? Shouting it from the rooftops?
“Your friend? Your friend?” The woman started shuffling toward her car with the boy in tow. “Lucas and I need to get going. I don’t want to interrupt time with your friend.”
He reached up and grabbed the woman at the elbow, his eyes pleading. His next words in Spanish hit Cassie squarely in the gut.
“No! Don’t go, please! She’s no one important. I’ll call her a cab.”
A smile formed on the dark-haired woman’s face.
“I thought you should meet your son at least once before I signed your divorce papers.” The woman’s tone was almost defiant as she produced a bundle of paperwork from her big leather bag.
Still kneeling, Luke took them from her, ripping them in half.
“We’ll obviously need to revisit these.”
Cassie fought to keep her expression neutral even though she wanted to drop into a heap on the ground and sob hysterically. Part of her wanted to wrap her arm possessively through his, but she knew that wouldn’t accomplish anything except her humiliation when he chose his wife over her.
His wife. He had a son and a wife. A family. The family he so desperately wanted, and she was reluctant to commit to giving him.
Her head was spinning, talk about getting blindsided. She suddenly realized, she didn’t belong here. That became even more apparent when Luke tentatively offered his finger for the child to grasp in his small fist. Lucas kept his eyes on his finger in Luke’s hand.
Luke was beaming like she’d never seen.
“Hi, buddy, I’m your papa,” he uttered softly while moving the little boy’s hand in tiny circles.
Lucas slowly looked up at Luke, staring at him intently before flinging his arms around his father’s neck and hugging him fiercely. Luke stood, holding the boy tightly, tears openly streaming down his face as silent sobs racked through his body. He pulled Adriana in with one arm and whimpered, “Gracias,” over and over into her hair.
It would have been a heart-warming scene to anyone else watching it unfold.
She wanted to be happy for him, but she’d admit it, she was selfish and couldn’t be, not with what it meant for her and Luke. It was as if he’d forgotten Cassie even existed while the bottom of her world collapsed.
Adriana looked over at her standing on the fringe of this family reunion that obviously had no place for her and smiled triumphantly.
Ben pulled up on his motorcycle, his face shell-shocked when he cut the engine and took in the scene.
Cassie wanted to run crying to Ben and beg him to get her out of there, but she wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction that she was destroyed, so instead, she sauntered over to where he remained on his bike, still seemingly trying to absorb what was happening.
With a meek smile, she asked, “Do you think you can take me home?”
He continued to stare at Luke and his family and nodded once without looking at her, finally glancing back after she swung her leg over the seat behind him.
Only when her hands were firmly around Ben’s middle, and he had started the engine again, did Luke look at her. The expression he wore as he watched her was one she’d never seen on him before.
Guilt.
With her fingertips, she brushed away a tear that had escaped and stared at him, trying to etch every detail in her mind of him with his arms wrapped around his wife and child. It would help bring her back to reality when she tried to convince herself later tonight and for the next decade, he had really loved her.
She kissed Ben long on his cheek, then with as real a smile as she could gather, whispered in his ear, “Let’s go.”
Yeah, it was petty and immature, but when she looked at Luke again, the transformation on his face from guilt to rage made it worth it.
Without another word, Ben hit the throttle, and she held on tight as he left rubber on the asphalt. They were off with flair, which seemed a fitting way to leave behind the only man she’d ever loved.
Her heart was shattered, but she managed to dig deep and muster up the only word she could think of.
Next.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Luke
He had a pit in his stomach the whole drive to Cassie’s place. He’d gotten Lucas and Adriana situated in the guest room and made the excuse he had to go into work—even taking his gear to make it believable. Also, because he wasn’t sure he trusted Adriana with his things, not to mention he didn’t want his guns out with Lucas around. His personal guns were secure in his gun safe bolted to the floor in his closet.
He needed to see Cassie again—he owed her that much—and knew he needed to handle her with kid gloves, or she was liable to slam the door in his face. He couldn’t let her walk away. She was his forever, the kind of woman who came around once in a lifetime, but he had no idea how he was going to keep her. Or if it was even fair to ask her to stay with him. Or if she even would want to, now that he had a son, and, well, a wife.
Fuck. He should’ve told her about Adriana when he had the chance.
Luke was going into an unknown situation he wasn’t prepared for, and he had no strategy about dealing with what was coming next. That went against the nature of every cell in his body. He always had a plan.
Parking on the street next to her building, he took a deep breath before getting out of his Challenger. On the elevator ride up, he realized he should have brought Figurino’s ravioli. He was not above bribery at this point.
Cassie’s red eyes when she opened the door made his heart drop to his stomach. He hated seeing her cry. She looked so vulnerable, which made him fall in love with her even more. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be all right.
Except he knew it wasn’t going to be. Things were never going to be the same again.
She didn’t say anything, just stood there staring at him.
“Can I come in?” he asked hopefully. She still didn’t speak and stepped aside to let him pass. He walked inside, feeling very much like a visitor. He’d always felt comfortable and at home here, but now, it was as if he didn’t belong. It sucked.
“Thanks,” he murmured once she’d closed the door behind him. He went to caress her arms, but she twisted out of his reach.
“Don’t,” was all she said as tears filled her eyes. He watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath as if willing them to stop. Which they did.
He’d never met anyone quite like her. Obviously, since I’m head over heels in love with her.
He was pleasantly surprised when she gestured to the living room instead of tossing him out.
That was a good sign, right?
Pointing to the couch, she whispered, “Have a seat,” but remained standing, hugging herself as she looked out her floor-to-ceiling windows at the city.
Okay, this wasn’t so good.
He sat on the edge of the couch, refusing to get comfortable. The awkward silence was almost painful, the only sound the squeaking of the leather as he adjusted his seated position. He knew he needed to start explaining, but he didn’t even know where to begin.
Finally, she turned and asked, “What do you want, Luke?”
“To explain.”
Her face void of emotion, she huffed, “Um, I don’t think there’s really much to explain. You have a wife and a son you kind of forgot to tell me about when you asked me to marry you.”
His head was spinning. He willed his crisis management training to take over but was coming up empty. Leaping to his feet, he went to stand a foot in front of her.
“It’s not
what you think.”
“Really?” her voice got louder. “Because I think I saw a beautiful woman at your house who you, yourself, told me was your wife, holding a little boy who is the spitting image of you while you held both of them, after ripping up divorce papers. I heard you tell her I was just your friend, that I was no one important.”
“How did you--?”
She began to speak rapidly in Spanish. She spoke so fast, he almost had a hard time keeping up with what she was saying. He caught, “A year of college abroad… Madrid… asshole, and, grew up twenty miles from the Mexican border, of course, I can speak fluent Spanish.”
Looking at her in her black yoga pants and University of Arizona sweatshirt she was swimming in, he realized he’d never noticed how tiny she really was. Her big personality made up for her petite stature, but right now, she seemed vulnerable and hurt, and it was all his fault.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the couch where he tugged her to sit down next to him before turning in toward her.
Taking a deep breath, he whispered, “You are important to me. But tonight, meeting my son…” His voice cracked, but he continued, “I had no idea he even existed, Cassie. None. I’m a dad! I’m a fucking dad! It knocked me on my ass, and at that moment, I would have said anything to keep her from running away with him again.”
He then told her everything, including how devastated he was when he was told Adriana was never pregnant, and why he’d wanted to wait to tell Cassie until he had the divorce papers in his hand. By the end, she was weeping with compassion for him and nodded in understanding when he pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, “I have a son, Cass.”
“I know. But where does that leave us? I don’t think I fit in your life anymore. You need to get to know your son, he should be your priority. If we’re meant to be, someday we’ll be together. If not…” she let her voice trail off.
Part of him was relieved she was the one suggesting it and not him. Still, he was heartbroken at the thought of not being with her and wondered if she proposed the break because she didn’t want to be a stepmom and doing it this way was easier.
Tears openly fell on his cheeks when he replied, “I don’t want this to be the end of us. But I know I can’t ask you to stay with me, given the circumstances.”
He wanted to. God, did he want to, but it wouldn’t be fair. He had no idea how he was going to get Adriana to give him a divorce and custody of Lucas. He wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize having his son with him, but he wanted Cassie too. He was such a selfish bastard.
Her reply of, “I understand,” hurt. Deep down, he wanted her to fight for them, and the fact she was willing to give up so easily confirmed what he already knew. Now that he had a son, she wanted to bolt.
He closed his eyes tight. He fucking loved this woman to his core, but he had to let her go. Lucas had to be his priority right now. What he said next would haunt him every sleepless night of his life.
“I think I need to try to make it work with my wife, for the sake of my son.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Cassie
She felt like she’d been gutted. The only thing she had left was her pride, so she squared her shoulders and put on her best no big deal face even though she was dying inside.
“Yes, of course. You should do that. You should be a family.” She nodded her head as she stood. “I hope it works out for you. I know how important having a wife and child is to you.”
She turned toward the door, assuming Luke would follow her out. He grabbed her elbow, and she jerked violently away from his touch. “Don’t you dare,” she managed to snarl without sobbing.
He looked devastated.
Good. Fuck him.
“I love you so much, doll. Please don’t ever doubt that for a minute.”
She let out a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, you love me so much you’re going to make things work with your wife. Please, just go.” Cassie could feel her bottom lip quivering, but there was no way she was going to let him see any more of her tears.
“Cass…”
“Please,” she eked out.
He hesitated, like he wasn’t going to honor her request, then leaned down and kissed her cheek, and she closed her eyes tight.
“I will always love you, Cassie Sullivan,” he whispered in her ear.
She felt the tears streaming down her face but refused to wipe them away or open her eyes until she heard the door close. She made it to her bedroom before collapsing in a sobbing heap on the floor.
****
She remembered crawling into bed at some point although her sense of time all but vanished for the next four days until she finally emerged from under the covers Sunday evening, knowing she had to go to work the next day and face the world.
Luke had texted her repeatedly to check on her. Fortunately, her phone had died, so she didn’t get any of them until she had cried herself out and decided to get on with her life. There was no point responding by then.
It was weird walking into work Monday morning and seeing everyone going about their daily lives while hers had been destroyed. The world hadn’t actually stopped turning after all.
Over the next several days, she wavered between being on the verge of tears and being pissed off. Everything reminded her of him, from the fucking songs on the radio to the dinners Kristen left her.
And Figurino’s? Yeah, thanks for ruining that for me, too, asshole.
Logically and even emotionally, she understood why Luke chose Adriana and Lucas over her, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She knew time healed all wounds, but as she sat sobbing in her shower Friday morning before work after having a dream about him, she had a hard time believing it was ever going to get easier.
Her job and her family turned out to be her saving grace. Her sister even skipped traveling to D.C. with Ron the week after their breakup in order to be with Cassie. The pharmaceutical rep threw herself headfirst back into work, keeping long hours and collapsing into bed so exhausted, she had no choice but to sleep. On the weekends, she was at Brenna’s.
Ron came home the second Thursday and announced to his wife he had to leave for the weekend.
“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he murmured as he nuzzled her neck from behind. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
Ugh. Cassie wanted to puke at how in love they were.
“I think Cass and I will take the ‘Vette to Palm Springs for a spa weekend,” her sister announced to both her and Ron.
That was news to her. Cassie’s expression must have given away her surprise.
Ron smirked with one eyebrow raised. “That sounds like fun, but I need to get the oil changed first. I’ll see if Ben can get me in tomorrow before I leave.”
Turns out, Ben could.
Cassie got a call from Brenna late the next morning.
“Hey, sis. What are you doing, right now?”
“I was headed to the office to do some paperwork. I finished the last of my appointments about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Any chance you can pick Ron up at the auto shop and take him to the airport so he can catch his flight? They were able to get the car in for an oil change and service, but it’s going to be awhile before they can finish it, and I’m stuck at the vet’s office with Zona.”
“How are we going to get your car later?” Cassie asked, dreading the thought of running into Ben. She knew she looked like shit these days.
“Pick me up around one, then we’ll stop at the shop before going to your house on our way out of town.”
Getting out of town was exactly what she needed right now, so she focused on that.
“Tell Ron I’m on my way.”
****
Luke
He was meeting his former roommate that Friday for happy hour. Ben had graciously moved out the day after Adriana and Lucas showed up. His friend had gotten an apartment with a month-to-month lease, since he wasn’t sure where things were going with his girlfriend, and he
wanted to leave himself options.
Between losing Cassie and no longer having Ben to talk to everyday, Luke was feeling desolate. He’d lost count of how many texts he’d written to Cassie but never hit send. He wanted to share all the wonderful things he was learning about his son with her. He’d write the message, sometimes even including pictures, then he’d hover his finger over send and talk himself out of pushing the button.
She didn’t want kids, he was sure she wouldn’t be interested in learning Lucas was able to say dog in English correctly or any of the other little things about his son Luke thought were amazing, so he always pressed delete instead of send.
Things at home were odd, at best. He and Adriana were strangers who only had their son in common anymore. Lucas was well cared for by his mother, but Luke’s heart soared when the boy showed an obvious preference for him over Adriana.
There was nothing like hearing, “Papa!” when he walked in the door at night, followed by his legs being slammed into by thirty-five pounds of force. Lucas was his father’s shadow when Luke was home. The boy obviously adored him and often tried to mimic whatever he was doing. Whether it was sitting on the couch cheering for the Padres or brushing his teeth—his son wanted to do it, too.
But he fucking missed Cassie every single second of every single day. There was no comparison to her company. Watching baseball without her was especially tough.
“Things will get better,” Ben offered when Luke lamented his situation to his best friend in the restaurant bar. “If it’s any consolation, I saw her today. She looks about as good as you do.”
“You saw her?”
“Yeah, she picked up Ron after be brought in his Corvette to be serviced. Something about Brenna and Cassie taking it on a road trip this weekend.”
“I wonder where they’re going, and who’s watching Zona.” A wave of sadness hit him for an entirely different reason than missing Cassie. He was no longer going to be asked to watch his former foster pup, and he loved that dog.