by Joss Wood
Kade stroked Si’s head and rubbed his ears. With his busy schedule, just remembering to feed and walk Si was problematic. And life was expecting him to deal with a child?
This was karma, Kade thought. Life coming back to bite him in the ass because he’d been so rude about Mac becoming a father. But Mac had Rory—patient, calm and thinking—to guide him through the process.
Kade didn’t have Brodie and, judging by the final sentence she’d flung at him, he didn’t need to worry about her or his child. She was prepared to go it alone.
He shouldn’t have accused her of lying. Brodie wasn’t another bimbo trying to drag a commitment out of him. Brodie didn’t want a relationship. She didn’t need a man in her life. She was independent and self-sufficient and she was strong enough to raise her child—their child—on her own.
If he wanted to he could walk away, forget about this conversation and forget he had a baby on the way. According to Brodie all he needed to do was sign a piece of paper and his life would go back to normal.
No child.
No Brodie.
Pain bloomed in the area below his sternum and he pushed his fist into the spot to relieve the burn. Could he do it? Could he walk away and not think about her, them, anymore?
Probably.
Definitely.
Not.
He couldn’t keep Brodie off his mind as it was. There was something about her that was different from any other woman he’d ever known. He was, on a cellular level, attracted to her, but despite her I-can-handle-whatever-life-throws-at-me attitude, he sensed a vulnerability in her that jerked his protective instincts to life. She also had more secrets than the CIA, secrets he wanted to discover. Oh, he wasn’t thinking of her with respect to the long term or a commitment. He hadn’t turned that mushy and sentimental, but he couldn’t dismiss her.
It would be easier if he could.
As for her carrying his child...
He’d always been ambivalent about having children. As a child, his family situation had been dysfunctional at best, screwed up at worst. He’d been an afterthought to his parents and when his mom died, he’d been nothing more than a burden to his head-in-the-clouds father. Practicality had never been his dad’s strong suit and, teamed with a wildly impulsive nature, having a ten-year-old was a drag. A kid required food, clothes and schooling, and sometimes his dad hadn’t managed any of those. To his father, Kade had been a distraction from his art, a responsibility he’d never signed on for.
Kade felt his jaw lock as the realization smacked him in the face: his child would be a distraction from his own career and a responsibility he’d never signed on for.
Like father, like son.
Except he wasn’t his father and he refused to follow in the man’s footsteps. It was his condom that broke; Kade was as responsible for the pregnancy as Brodie. He took responsibility for his actions, both in his business and in his personal life. He faced life like a man, not like the spoiled child he’d frequently thought his father to be.
And, for some reason, he couldn’t get the image of Brodie, soft and round with pregnancy, out of his head. He could see a child sleeping on her chest; he wanted to watch her nursing. Dammit, he could even imagine himself changing a diaper, running after his toddler on a beach, teaching the boy to skate.
For the first time ever, Kade could imagine being part of a family, working for and protecting his family. Having his own little tribe.
It wouldn’t be like that, really. Of course it wouldn’t. Nothing ever worked out like a fairy tale, but it was a nice daydream. He and Brodie weren’t going to have the dream but they could have something...different.
He could share the responsibility of raising their child. Taking responsibility meant paying all the bills their child incurred. From pregnancy to college and beyond, he’d supply the cash. Kade hauled in some much-needed air. Cash was the easy part. He had enough to financially support hundreds of kids. The notion of being a father had him gasping for air. Being a dad. Because there was a difference; he knew that as well as he knew his own body.
He couldn’t be like his father...
Kade never half-assed anything. He didn’t cut corners or skimp on the details. He worked. And then he worked some more. He worked at his friendships; he worked at his career. He gave 110 percent, every time.
And he’d give being a dad 110 percent, as well. His child would not grow up feeling like a failure, like an afterthought, like a burden. He wasn’t going to perpetuate that stupid cycle.
And if Brodie didn’t like that, then she’d better get with the program because that was the way it was going to be. He wasn’t going to be a husband or a long-term lover, but he’d be a damn good father and, more importantly, he’d be there every step of the way...
Seven
Brodie placed her heels on the edge of the Adirondack chair and rested her chin on her knees, the expansive view of the Florencia Bay blurry from the tears she refused to let fall. She was used to being alone. She’d made a point of it. But for the first time in nearly a decade she felt like she could do with some help. Just a shoulder to lean on, someone to tell her she could do this, that she was strong enough, brave enough.
She wanted a pair of arms to hold her, someone else’s strength to lift her, a little encouragement. This was the downside of being alone, Brodie realized. When you’d consistently kept yourself apart there was no one you could call on. She’d made this bed and now she had to sleep in it.
Alone.
Well, this sucked. Brodie shoved the heels of her hands into her eye sockets and pushed, hoping the pressure would stop the burning in her eyes. That she wanted to cry was utter madness. She was pregnant, not dying. She was financially able to raise this child and give it everything it needed—she had to stop calling it an it!—and this situation didn’t warrant tears. If memories didn’t make her cry, then her pregnancy had no right to. She was stronger than that.
Brodie straightened her shoulders. So she was going to be a single mother, big deal. Millions of women all over the world did it on a daily basis, a lot of them with fewer resources than she had. Stop being a wuss and get on with it. Rework those plans; write a list. Do something instead of just moping!
She needed to see a doctor and she needed to contact her lawyer. She needed to stop thinking about stupid Kade Webb and the fact he’d accused her of scamming him.
The jerk! Oh, she so wasn’t going to think about him again. From this moment on he was her baby’s sperm donor and nothing else.
She simply wasn’t going to think about him again.
“Brodie.”
Brodie looked up at the clear blue sky and shook her head. “Seriously?”
No one, not God, the universe or that bitch karma, answered her. Brodie reluctantly turned her head and watched Kade walk across the patio toward the other Adirondack chair. Without saying a word, he sat down, rested his forearms on his thighs and dropped his hands between his knees. Simon sat near the edge of the stairs and barked at a seagull flying over his head.
Kade had come straight from the beach, Brodie realized. Sand clung to his feet, which were shoved into expensive flips-flops, and clung to the hair on his bare calves. He had nice feet. Big feet. He was a big guy, everywhere.
And it was his everywhere that had put her into this situation. She scowled. “What now, Kade?”
Kade turned and looked at her. “I don’t want to fight.”
“That’s fine.” Brodie dropped her legs and pointed to the stairs. “So just leave.”
“That’s not happening, either.” Kade calmly leaned back and put one ankle onto his opposite knee. He rolled his shoulders and looked around, taking in the wood, steel and glass cabin and the incredible view. “This place is amazing. Do you own it?”
She had some money but not enough to own
a property like this. “Poppy’s.”
Why was he here? Why was he back? Was he going to take more shots at her? She didn’t think she could tolerate any more this morning. She felt nauseous and slightly dizzy and, dammit, she wanted to crawl into his arms and rest awhile.
Huh. So she hadn’t wanted just anyone to hold her, she’d wanted Kade’s arms around her. And she’d called him a moron? She took the prize.
“What do you want, Kade?” she asked, weary.
“Are you okay?” Kade waved in the direction of her stomach, his brown eyes dark with—dare she think it?—concern. “I mean, apart from the whole being-pregnant issue?”
“Why?”
“You just look, well, awful. You’re like a pale green color. You’ve lost weight and you look like you haven’t slept properly in a month.”
Nice to know she was looking like a wreck. Especially when the description came from a man who graced the front covers of sports magazines.
“Do you need to see a doctor? Maybe they could run some tests to check if there is something else wrong.”
“I’m fine, Webb. I’m pregnant. I puke, a lot. I don’t sleep much because I’ve been stressed out of my head!”
“Stressed about telling me?” Kade asked, linking his hands across his flat stomach.
Brodie stood up and went to the balustrade. “Partly. But that’s done so...feel free to leave.”
Kade didn’t look like he was going anywhere anytime soon. He just held her hot gaze. “I’m sorry I reacted badly.” His smile was self-deprecating and very attractive. “Not my best moment.”
“Yeah, accusing me of trying to trap you was a high point,” Brodie said, looking toward the beach. “Apology accepted. You can—”
“Go now? Why are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Because I have stuff to do! I need to call my lawyer, see a doctor, plan mine and the baby’s future!” Brodie cried.
Kade stood up, walked over to her and touched her cheek with his fingers. “It’s not going to be like that, Brodie.”
“Like what?” Brodie whispered.
“I know you think you are going to do this alone—because, hell, you like being self-reliant—but I’m in it for the long haul.”
“What?” Brodie demanded, thrown off-kilter. What was he talking about?
“I am going to be this baby’s father in every way that counts.”
Brodie looked at him, aghast. What was happening here? “Wha-at?”
“You’re going to have to learn to be part of a team, Brodie, because that’s what we are, from this point on.” Kade tapped her nose and stood back, his stance casual. But his eyes, dark and serious and oh, so determined, told another story.
“I don’t understand.”
“I am not going anywhere. We’re in this. Together.”
What? No! She didn’t play nicely with others. She had no idea how to work within a team. She was a lone wolf; she didn’t function within a pack. And really, what the hell did he think he was doing, acting all reasonable and concerned?
That wasn’t going to work for her. She made her own decisions and she didn’t like it that with Kade, she wasn’t in charge. He might sound laid-back but beneath his charm the man was driven and ambitious and bossy.
But even as she protested his change of heart, she had the warm fuzzies and felt a certain relief she wouldn’t be carrying this burden alone.
Even so, she shook her head. “There is no we. This baby is my problem, my responsibility.”
“This baby is our problem, our responsibility. Mine as much as yours,” Kade replied, not budging an inch. “Quit arguing, honey, because you’re not going to win.”
Behind her back Brodie gripped the balustrade with both hands. “What does that mean? Are you going to change diapers and do midnight feeds? Are you going to drive around the city trying to get the kid to sleep? Or are you just going to fling some money at me?”
Anger flickered in Kade’s eyes. “I’ll do whatever I need to do to make your life easier, to be a father. I will support you, and the baby, with money, but more importantly, with my time and my effort. I’m repeating this in an effort to get it to sink into that stubborn head of yours, you are not in this alone.”
“I want to be,” Brodie stated honestly. It would be so much easier.
His fingers touched her jaw, trailed down her neck. “I know you do, but that’s not happening. Not this time.”
Panic flooded her system and closed her throat. Wanting to protest, Brodie could only look at him with wide, scared eyes. She needed to push him away, to end the emotion swirling between them. “You just want to get into my pants again.”
The only hint of Kade’s frustration was the slight tightening of his fingers. She waited for him to retaliate but he just brushed his amused mouth in a hot kiss across her lips.
“So cynical, Brodie.” He rubbed the cord in her neck with his thumb and Brodie couldn’t miss the determination on his face and in the words that followed. “I want you, Brodie, you know that. But that is a completely separate matter to us raising a child together. One is about want and heat and crazy need, the other is about being your friend, a support structure, about raising this child together as best as we can.”
“We can’t be both friends and lovers, Kade!”
“We can be anything we damn well want,” Kade replied. “But for now, why don’t we try to be friends first and figure out how we’re going to be parents and not complicate it with sex?”
He confused and bedazzled her, Brodie admitted. She couldn’t keep up with him. She felt like she was being maneuvered into a corner, pushed there by the force of his will. “I don’t know! I need to think.”
Kade smiled, stepped back and placed his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts. “You can think all you want, Brodie, but it isn’t going to change a damn thing. I’m going to be around whether you like it or not.” He ducked his head and dropped a kiss on her temple.“You might as well get used to it,” he murmured into her ear.
Before Brodie got her wits together to respond, Kade walked across the patio to the outside stairs. He snapped his fingers. Simon lumbered to his feet and they both jogged down the stairs. Brodie looked over the balustrade as they hit the ground below.
“And get some sleep, Stewart! You look like hell,” Kade called.
Yeah, just what a girl needed to hear, Brodie thought. Then she yawned and agreed it was a very good suggestion.
* * *
Kade glanced down at his phone, the red flashing light indicating he had a message. He looked across the table to his friends and partners and saw they were still reading a condensed version of Logan’s contract. He slid his finger across the screen and his breath hitched when he saw Brodie’s name.
He hadn’t spoken to her for two days but he kept seeing her in his mind’s eye, looking down at him from the patio of the cabin—bemused, befuddled, so very tired. He had deliberately left her alone, wanting to give her time to get used to the idea of them co-parenting.
Back in the city. Thought that you might want to know.
Kade smiled at her caustic message. Not exactly gracious but coming from the independent Brodie, who’d rather cut off her right arm than ask for help, it was progress.
He quickly typed a reply.
Feeling rested?
A bit.
Any other symptoms?
Do you really want to know? He grimaced at the green, vomiting emoji tacked onto the end of the message.
Ugh. Will bring dinner. Around 7?
Tired. Going to bed early.
Oh, no. When was she going to learn that if she retreated he would follow? You have to eat. I’m bringing food. Be there.
Suit yourself.
That was Brodie speak for “see
you later.” Kade tapped the screen and smiled. The trick with Brodie, he was learning, was to out-stubborn her.
“Kade, do you agree?”
“Sure,” he murmured, looking straight through Quinn. He’d have to tell his friends at some point but there were reasons why he didn’t want to, not yet. He was still wrapping his head around the situation and he wasn’t ready for his friends to rag him about it. He still felt raw. The situation was uncertain and, consequently, his temper was quick to the boil.
Besides, it was one of those things he needed to discuss with Brodie... Was she ready for the pregnancy to become public knowledge?
He didn’t think either of them was ready for the press. Especially since Brodie was supposed to be finding his dream woman. His next date. She was, after all, his damned matchmaker.
No, he definitely wasn’t ready for the news to be splashed across the papers and social media. It was too new and too precious. Too fragile. Kade half turned and put his hand into the pocket of his suit jacket, which was hanging off the back of his chair. Pulling out a container of aspirin, he flipped back the lid and swallowed three, ignoring the bitter powder coating his mouth.
He’d had a low-grade headache since he’d left Brodie and he’d been popping aspirin like an addict. It was a small price to pay for a very large oops.
Kade looked up when he heard a knock on the glass door. Two seconds later his personal assistant leaned into the room. “What’s up, Joy?”
“There’s someone here to see you and she’s not budging,” Joy told him after tossing a quick greeting to Quinn and Mac. Joy snapped her fingers. “Someone Stewart.”
Kade frowned. Brodie? Was something wrong? She’d just been texting him. He stood up abruptly and his chair skittered backward. Crap! Something must be wrong. Brodie would never come to his office without calling first. He started toward the door and stopped when he saw the slight, stylish figure of Poppy Stewart walking toward them.
“Poppy? Is she okay?” He winced at the panic in his voice.
Poppy frowned. “Why wouldn’t she be?” she said when she reached him. Kade placed a hand on his heart and sucked in a deep breath while Poppy graciously, but very firmly, sent Joy on her way. “We need to talk.”