by Joss Wood
She’d created this situation and she wasn’t going to whine about the consequences. She’d acted like a child because she’d felt smothered, and she deserved to be treated like a child now that she’d returned. He’d yell and she’d apologize and hopefully it would all be over soon.
“Hey.”
Kade frowned and started to walk in her direction. Ah, hell, he was even angrier than she realized. Brodie lifted up her hands in apology. “I’m so—”
Her words were cut off by his hot mouth on hers and she could taste his frustration. His fingers dug into her hips and he yanked her into him, slamming her against his hard frame and his even harder erection. She couldn’t help it; she encircled her arms around his neck and poured her own frustrations into the kiss...
I want you but I don’t want to rely on you. I like feeling protected and cared for but it scares me spitless. I’m so close to falling in love with you but I can’t let myself be that vulnerable again.
Brodie felt Kade tugging her shirt from her jeans and sighed when his warm hands spanned her back. His thigh pushed between hers and suddenly she was straddling his hard leg. Her body responded immediately by rocking against those hard muscles, moaning when the friction caught her in exactly the right place. Kade immediately responded by slipping his hand down the back of her jeans and he growled when her tight pants stopped his progress.
“Get them off.”
This was too intense, too urgent, and Brodie knew they should back off, but she didn’t want to. She wanted him out of control and reckless, demanding and insistent. He was feeling raw and so was she. It added an edge of excitement she’d never experienced before. It was primitive sex—hot, urgent—and she wanted to ride this maelstrom with him.
If they worked off enough frustration they’d be able to talk calmly and she’d be forgiven sooner. Besides, there was nothing wrong with channeling their anger into something that afforded them a great deal of pleasure...
Kade’s fingers working the zipper of her jeans pulled her back into pleasure. He pushed her pants and her thong down to her ankles. Brodie stepped out of her backless wedges and kicked her feet free as Kade placed one hand behind her butt and lifted her up and into him. His tongue invaded her mouth again and she knew this would be hot and fast and crazy.
Bring it on!
Matching his urgency, she pulled his shirt up his back and over his head, forcing him to let her go so she could pull it off his arms. She ran her hands down his torso—she’d missed his body, missed him, more than she should. Far more than was healthy.
She hated that but she loved this. Loved his hot, masculine, hair-roughened skin. She placed her mouth on his chest to taste him as her hands dropped to his shorts, pulling his belt open with unsteady hands. She needed to feel him in her grasp, needed to taste him on her tongue, to fill her, to complete her.
She needed him.
She both loved and hated the need he stirred inside her.
Kade pushed her hands aside and quickly stripped. She reached down to touch him but he grabbed her wrists to stop her. He encircled them with one hand; easily restraining her while his other hand gripped her jaw and tipped her face up so her eyes collided with his.
Anger and desire were both still there. “We probably shouldn’t do this.”
“I know.” Brodie licked her lips. “But I want to anyway.”
“You sure?” Kade demanded, his voice rough. “Because it’s not going to be pretty. I’m going to ride you, hard.”
Brodie lifted her chin. “I can take everything you hand out, Webb. I’m not a hothouse flower.”
The fingers on her jaw loosened and his touch turned tender. “Dammit, Brodie.” He rested his forehead against hers.
It was her turn to touch his jaw, to allow her fingers to walk over his face. “You won’t hurt me and I need you. I need you so damn much.”
Those amazing eyes hardened, just a fraction. There was hurt beneath the anger and she was sorry for it. “You could’ve fooled me.”
Brodie gave him what she could. “Right now, I need you as much as you need me. Give me that, Kade. The rest we can fight about later.”
“And we will fight.”
“I know.” But that was for later so Brodie stood up on her tiptoes to align her mouth with his.
“How are we going to do this?” she whispered against his lips. “Where are we going to do this? Bedroom? Couch?”
Kade’s eyes darted around the room. “Too far. Too civilized.”
He spun her around and placed her hands on the hall table. Standing behind her, he put his palm on her stomach and pulled up her butt. Brodie swallowed, ferociously excited. So this was...new.
Kade’s hand stroked her spine and her lower back, kneaded her butt before sliding between her cheeks to find the damp, moisture between her legs. She heard him sigh and then he was sliding inside her, the position filling her more deeply than he ever had before.
She felt exposed and dominated, but thrilled to her core, which he happened to be touching. His arms encompassed her, crisscrossing her from chest to thigh, and she felt protected and enveloped as her climax built. He was so deep inside he hardly needed to move and his thrusts turned gentle. Bright white lights sparked in her head as the warm, rushing wave pummeled her.
She screamed; he groaned. He pumped against her, once, twice, and then he exploded inside her, his arms tightening as a shudder ran through his body. Slowly coming back to herself, Brodie realized her fingernails were digging into Kade’s forearms. The only thing keeping her from doing a face-plant on the floor was Kade’s python-like grip. She sucked in a shallow breath and felt his lips on her neck. She was still half-dressed, her bra and shirt still on.
Whoa, Nelly.
Kade’s arms loosened and he pulled her upright, sliding out as he did so. He dropped one arm but kept the other around her waist, anchoring her to his side. Brodie stared at the oil painting above the hall table and wondered if she could ever look at it again without remembering the hot sex they’d had beneath it.
“You okay?” Kade asked, his voice low, rough.
Brodie cleared her throat and nodded. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t hurt you?”
Brodie looked down at his arms and saw the deep grooves her nails had left in his skin. She traced her fingertip over the marks. “I should be asking you that.”
“I’m good.” Kade’s arm tightened once and his hands flexed on her hips before he let her go. He picked up her jeans and handed them to her. “Go on up. I’ll get clean downstairs.”
Normally they’d shower together after sex and frequently showering would lead to round two. Brodie sighed. Guess that wasn’t going to happen today.
He was still mad. Well, he’d warned her. Brodie nodded and walked toward the stairs, embarrassed he would watch her bare butt the whole way.
But when she turned around at the top of the stairs he’d disappeared to the lower level and his solitary shower.
Wishing she could run away again, Brodie headed into his bedroom and the en suite bathroom. She wouldn’t get away with running again.
* * *
Brodie found Kade on the balcony, dressed in a faded pair of jeans and a pale blue T-shirt. He sat close to the edge, his bare feet resting on the railings, a beer in his hand. Brodie, dressed in the clothes she’d arrived in, saw there was a diet cola and a glass on the table so she sat down and perched on the cushion.
Kade poured her cola into the ice-filled glass and handed her the cold drink. He sat back and linked his hands behind his head looking like the urban, relaxed businessman he was. Except she also saw the tension in his jaw, the banked anger in his glittering eyes.
“You missed your doctor’s appointment and the first ultrasound.”
“I called and rescheduled.”
&nb
sp; “Thanks for letting me know,” Kade said, his tone bitter.
Brodie frowned. She’d briefly mentioned the appointment to him and he’d never indicated his intention to go with her. “I didn’t know you were planning to go with me.”
Kade cut her a look. “Of course I was, Brodie.”
Wow...okay. “I thought you’d only take an interest in the baby once it was born.”
“I. Take. An. Interest. In. You.” Kade spat out the words.
“Oh.”
After a couple of minutes, Kade broke the silence. “I was worried about you. I thought something had happened to you, to our baby. I couldn’t find you. I didn’t know where to start looking.”
Brodie closed her eyes at the note of desolation in his voice, the hurt he was trying so hard to hide. Brodie turned her head and looked at his hard profile, the way the evening breeze picked up his hair and blew it over his forehead.
“My dad did that once.”
Oh, God, no.
“Did what?” she asked, not really wanting to know the answer because she knew it would make her feel ten times worse than she already did.
“Disappeared. I was about ten and I came home from school and he wasn’t around. By eight that night I was worried, by midnight I was terrified. Three days later I was out of food and out of my mind with worry. Ten years old and I had cramps in my stomach from hunger. The morning of the fourth day I decided to skip school and go to the police. I was leaving the house when he pulled into the driveway, looking like he’d rather be anywhere rather than back in whatever town that was, with me.”
Brodie gripped the arms of her chair and closed her eyes, silently cursing Kade’s waste-of-space parent. She heard Kade stand up and felt the brief kiss on the top of her head. “I was terrified then but that had nothing on what I felt this past week.” Kade’s voice sounded like it had been roughened with sandpaper. “Everything is up in the air with us and I get that. I don’t want to take over your life or control it or you. But if—when—you go, keep in contact, okay?”
Brodie nodded once, sharply, and forced the words past the tears in her throat. “I don’t know what you want from me, Kade.”
Kade walked around the chair and stood between her and the railing, the dim lights on the balcony casting shadows over his taut face. “I have no idea, either. I’m as confused about where to go, what to do as you are. But the one thing I do know for sure is that running away doesn’t help. My father ran from town to town, from creditor to creditor, nothing ever changed. Because wherever you go, there you are.”
Kade’s fingers raked through his hair. “But maybe you could talk to me before you run. And I need you to come to grips with having me in your life. Because, even if we aren’t going to be together, I am still going to be part of your life because—” he pointed to her midsection “—that is my kid, as well. We’re in this together. So, on some level, I need you to trust me, to believe I won’t let you down.”
But he would. Everyone did.
Before she could respond, he continued, “But, Brodie, you only get this one chance. You run again and that’s it. That’s you telling me you don’t want me in your life, in any capacity.”
Brodie bit her bottom lip. “And the baby?”
“I will not abandon my child.” Kade rubbed the back of his neck. “Lawyers, supervised visits until the baby is old enough and formal arrangements for custody. We’ll be handing over the baby in parking lots. We’ll be apart and separate, co-parenting but not communicating.”
God, that sounded...awful. Dismal. Depressing.
“Don’t do that to us, Brodie. Don’t make it like that,” Kade said, his voice soft. “I’m not asking for anything other than for you to let me in. To share something of yourself, to trust a little, or even a lot.”
Kade’s hand drifted over her hair and he bent down to kiss her temple. “I’m going to bed. Feel free to join me. Let me know if you decide to leave.”
Brodie nodded.
“And Brodie?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t ever ignore my calls again, okay?”
* * *
Brodie tied the laces on her running shoes, brimming with energy. Her morning sickness was all but gone and she felt energized and healthy and ready to resume exercising. She wasn’t going to hurtle around Stanley Park like she normally did but she’d get her heart rate up and her blood flowing. Surely that had to be good for the baby?
Brodie left her apartment and skipped down the stairs, thinking she still missed her early-morning runs with Kade. So much had changed since they’d first met. She was carrying Kade’s baby, they were having hot sex, sometimes at his apartment and, like last night, sometimes at hers. After their fight last week, she was doing her best to be more open, to communicate better.
She loved spending time with him and she couldn’t help wondering whether he felt the same, if he missed her at all when she wasn’t around? Oh, she knew he liked her, he adored making love with her, but was that the sum total of his feelings? Was he feeling more, wanting more?
Because, dammit, she was starting to want more.
Brodie nibbled the inside of her lip. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t do this again, with any man, but she was sliding further and further down this slippery slope that might be love. With every smile, every conversation with Kade, she felt another one of her walls dissolving. Soon she’d be stripped bare and at the mercy of the vagaries of life and love. It would hurt.
And how would she ever know if Kade truly loved her and not the idea of her as the mother of his child? What if they became too swept up in playing the happy family and when the novelty wore off he decided this wasn’t what he’d signed up for and bolted? How would she cope then?
No, teetering on the edge of love or not, she couldn’t risk relying on him and being let down. People always thought they wanted one thing and then it turned out they wanted another. Sure, everyone had a right to change their minds, but she’d prefer it wasn’t her heart Kade practiced on.
She’d rather be his friend and his part-time lover for as long as that lasted. When it ended, she’d still be his friend. And he’d be hers. She could do that...
Possibly.
Brodie pulled open the front door, ran down the pathway and bumped smack into a bunch of men standing on the curb. Cameras flashed and she lifted a hand to shield her eyes. What the hell?
“How long have you being seeing Kade?”
“When are you due?”
“Is it a boy or a girl?
“When did you and Kade hook up? Before you matched him?”
“Are you getting married?”
She didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize the press knew Kade was the father of her baby and she wasn’t going for a run this morning.
“You owe us a statement, Ms. Stewart.”
“She owes you nothing, Johnson.” Kade’s deep voice broke through the shouting. Brodie looked up and there he was, holding out a hand. His car was idling behind the reporters and it represented safety and quiet, both of which she needed right now. Brodie grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her through the throng of reporters.
“Aw, come on, Kade. We need something.”
“I can give you a swift kick if that would help.” Kade opened the passenger door for Brodie and she slipped inside. Kade shut her door but she could still hear the questions, the demands. Then the crowd quieted and Brodie looked out the window to see that Kade, his back to her and blocking the cameras, had quieted the crowd. “You guys can take potshots at me, ask me anything, but Brodie is off-limits.”
“How long have you been together?”
“Are you getting married? Are you living together?”
“Was her matchmaking you just a publicity stunt? Did you lead those women on?”
“Has Myra accepted your offer to buy the franchise? We hear that the rookie is going to sue you personally.”
Kade didn’t say another word but walked around the car to the driver’s seat. He opened his door and dropped inside. He slammed the door shut but rolled down his window.
“You said we can ask you anything. Not fair, Webb!”
Kade grinned. “I said you can ask me anything, I never said I would answer.” Kade started the car, floored the accelerator and drove off. Brodie turned around in her seat to look at the agitated crowd behind them.
“They do not look happy.”
“Screw them.” Kade veered the car around the corner.
Brodie grabbed her seat belt and pulled it over her chest, clicking it into place. She looked at the creeping speedometer and bit her lip, tasting fear in the back of her throat. “Slow down, please?”
Kade sent her a quick look, then immediately slowed down and placed his hand on her knee. “Sorry. You okay?”
“Fine,” Brodie replied, looking at his annoyed profile. “So, how did they find out? Did Wren do a press release?”
“No.” Kade shook his head. “We were trying to delay it as long as possible, to put some distance between you becoming pregnant and arranging those stupid dates for me.”
“So how did they find out?”
“Someone recognized us when we went to see the ob-gyn.”
Brodie twisted her lips. “Anyone in the waiting room could’ve leaked the story, could’ve taken a photograph of us.”
“And they did. They sold the story to the tabloids and the paper that broke the news has had a photographer following us for at least two weeks. We’re a double-page spread,” Kade told her, driving in the direction of his apartment.
“Dammit.” Brodie sighed. “Guess I am now, officially, one of Webb’s Women.”
“You are Webb’s only woman.” He glanced down at her stomach. “Unless there’s a girl in there, then you’ll have to share the spotlight.”
He was using a jokey, upbeat tone and she didn’t know whether he was being serious or not. He placed his free hand on her tummy but kept his eyes on the road. “Twenty-six weeks, Brodes, and we’ll know.”