Wrecked

by Harmon, AJ

  As she listened to Ethan’s steady breathing, and felt his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Bess felt enormous relief that she’d been able to tell him about her past. She’d kept the secret for so long and the burden of that secret had weighed heavily on her. Yes, she’d revealed some of the story to Regina when she’d been ill and in the hospital, and yes, it had helped, but having Ethan know all of the gory details had lifted the weight from her sagging shoulders. And… he hadn’t judged her. That fact just confirmed to Bess what a good man he was, and how much his friendship meant to her.

  She was kidding herself though, and she knew it. She liked having Ethan as her friend – he was her best friend, but she wanted more, and if she understood him from his comments, so did he. If she understood him? He couldn’t have made it plainer. He’d told her he was in love with her and it had shocked her to the core. Bess had never thought of herself as loveable. She had, in fact, imprisoned herself to protect herself from more pain and betrayal. It had worked well enough but it had also left her alone and void of all feeling. Basically, she’d been numb for the last seven years. If she wanted Ethan, and she did, she would have to free herself. Nobody could do it for her.

  His deep and steady breathing lulled her back to sleep, still twisted in the hotel robe, her hair matted over her forehead, a smile on her face, but Bess had never been more comfortable. The early morning dreams which invaded her mind were of happy days spent walking on the cliff with Ethan, their fingers laced together, and Bess feeling happier than she could ever remember. The wind blew the cool ocean spray across their cheeks and they talked and laughed for hours. When they eventually headed back to the house, Bess led Ethan through the house to the bedroom, ready to share all of herself with him… ready to put the past behind her and embrace her future with the man whom she’d fallen madly in love. He was perfect. Life was perfect and Bess, in a half-asleep-half-awake state had hope that her future would include Ethan and a life filled with happiness and love.

  17.

  Rocking her sleeping baby girl in her arms, Elizabeth wept. For six long years she had waited to marry Andrew and now the dream had been destroyed. Andrew was dead. She would never again have the opportunity to tell him how much she loved him. She desperately hoped that he’d known.

  What Elizabeth didn’t know, however, was that Andrew stood next to her as she sat in the wooden rocking chair and cuddled with her child. She didn’t know that he also wept, knowing that they would never have the life they’d both desired. She didn’t know that he would remain by her side for the rest of her days.

  He stood beside her as she threw dirt onto his casket as his body was lowered into the ground. Lizzie sobbed as dirt filled the hole. Andrew accompanied her each time she visited his grave and placed yellow wild flowers on his headstone. Each time it ripped a bigger hole in his heart, unable to comfort her and tell her he was right there.

  Andrew sat on the floor with Andie while she played with her wooden blocks. He walked alongside his beloved and his child while they picked wild flowers, or walked to town to buy ribbon and candles. He sat at the table while they ate their supper and read from the bible. He laughed as Lizzie gave Andie her bath and she splashed her mama with water and heard her sweet little giggle. It was one of the best sounds he’d ever heard. And he laid beside Lizzie and watched her as she slept night after night after night.

  He became worried when the cold weather came early and the slight cough that Lizzie had suffered from for a couple of weeks became worse and worse, never getting better. It kept her awake most nights and when she began coughing up blood, Andrew realized that her mortal life was coming to an end. Having visited his daughter, and seeing how ill she’d become, William sent one of his maids to tend to her and his granddaughter. The doctor visited several times and would just shake his head. There wasn’t anything he could do for consumption. They would just try to make her as comfortable as possible.

  Andrew was devastated, not only for the situation he was in, unable to help and becoming angrier by the minute, but for his child. She was to grow up without her father and now without her mother, too. Would Andrea remember her at all? Who would tell her about her father? Would William ever allow her to learn of her parentage?

  One evening, long after dark and Andie was sound asleep in her bed, Andrew once again laid down beside his beloved Lizzie. She was pale and weak and it was just a matter of time before she would draw her final breath.

  “You must tell her about me,” he pleaded. “She must know how much we loved her… and wanted her. She must not grow up not knowing where she came from. She must know that she was conceived with love.”

  With a rare moment of clarity, it seemed that Elizabeth looked straight at him.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “Caroline?” Lizzie called. “I need paper and ink.”

  “Now, ma’am?” the maid appeared in the doorway.

  “Now.”

  My dearest Andrea,

  You will read this long after I am gone and in the earth. I want you to know how much my heart hurts knowing I will not see you grow into the beautiful young woman I am sure you will become. You are the light of my life and I am grateful for the time I have had with you, even though it has been far too short. I love you and always will.

  I want to tell you about your father, Captain Andrew Wentworth. He never got to see you or hold you and for that I will be forever sorry. I wish you had known him as he was a great man and would have been a wonderful father to you. Although he was not a man of means, he went to sea in the Navy to serve his King and make his fortune so that we could marry and he could provide a good life for our family. He died a few months ago just a short distance from our home when his ship wrecked on the wicked rocks at the base of the cliff. I stood at his grave and vowed that when you were older, I would tell you all about him, but it seems that my plan will not come to fruition for I am soon to be lain beside him and return to dust.

  You must always remember and never forget that we both love you very much and wish that we could have been the family we so desired.

  Love forever,

  Mama

  *****

  Two days later, Elizabeth asked Caroline to fetch her father. Her time had run out and she needed to say her goodbyes. William rushed straight over and sat at Elizabeth’s side, her hand in his, and Andie playing with her doll at the end of the bed. Andrew stood and watched the emotional scene before him.

  “Father?” Lizzie whispered, her lungs too weak to do much more.

  “Don’t talk, my dear. Save your strength,” William pleaded.

  With a stern expression, Lizzie continued. “You must promise me that you will tell Andie about me.”

  “Of course I will.”

  “And you must tell her about Andrew. Please?”

  William nodded.

  “Promise me,” she begged.

  “I promise.”

  Elizabeth pulled the letter she’d written from under her pillow and handed it to her father. “Give this to her when she is older.”

  William took the folded paper and placed it carefully in the breast pocket of his coat. “I will love her and make sure she has the best of everything.”

  “All she needs is to know that she is loved.”

  “That she is,” William smiled sadly. He held her hand until she drifted off to sleep and then instructed Caroline to bring Andrea to him once Elizabeth was gone. And he left.

  Andrew sat on the end of the bed and watched his love sleep and his daughter play quietly.

  “This is not how life was supposed to go,” he cried silently.

  Andie looked up at him – directly at him – and smiled. “Papa,” she pointed.

  A miracle of all miracles. She had seen him. How? He didn’t question. Andrew didn’t care. Just knowing that his daughter had seen him was enough.

  “I love you, Andie.”

  “Love you,” she smiled back. And then she went back to play
ing with her doll, climbing off the bed and asking Caroline for a drink.

  Andrew didn’t leave Lizzie’s side until, in the early hours of the morning, she awoke and coughed, alerting Caroline.

  “Miss Elizabeth? Do you need something?”

  “Behind the bricks in the fireplace is the string of pearls from Andrew. They must go to Andie. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, Miss.”

  The coughing grew worse over the next several minutes and her handkerchief became soaked in her blood. Just as Lizzie took her last breaths, Andie cried out. She’d fallen and hurt her leg. Andrew rushed to her, hoping she would see him again and calm her, but just as he sat on the floor beside his daughter, his legs crossed in front of him and reaching for his daughter, Caroline cried out in sorrow. Lizzie was gone.

  18.

  “Mornin’ beautiful,” Ethan grinned as he brushed Bess’s hair from her eyes.

  That made her chuckle. “Nothing about me is beautiful first thing in the morning.”

  “Oh how wrong you are.” If it was physically possible, he pulled her closer and kissed her hair.

  “I’d roll over and show you but I’m not sure I’ll ever move again. I am so damn twisted in this robe and the duvet, I don’t think even Houdini could escape.”

  “I don’t want you to move yet,” Ethan sighed into her hair. “I love having you right here in my arms.”

  “You’re in luck. I can’t move. I’ve tried and it’s no use. I am at your mercy,” Bess laughed.

  “Well, if that’s the case, we might not ever move!”

  “I have to be at work tomorrow,” Bess reminded him.

  “So do I.” And they fell into silence as they laid together, Bess running her hands up and down his arms as they gripped her tightly around the waist.

  “You know,” Ethan eventually said, “I don’t think I have slept that well in a long time. You are like a human sleeping pill.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a compliment,” she laughed.

  “Don’t worry. It is,” he smiled. “Damn!”

  “What is it?” Bess asked.

  “Nature calls. I have to leave you for a minute.” Ethan carefully, and grudgingly, extricated himself from Bess and the duvet and disappeared into the bathroom. It gave Bess the chance to attempt to straighten out her robe and unravel her long hair.

  As she remembered she was naked under her robe, Bess was startled at her behavior in the morning’s early hour when she knocked on Ethan’s door without thinking through the consequences of such an act, hence, waking up in his bed. Even though he’d been the perfect gentleman and had kept his hands to himself, Bess still felt very awkward and nervous of the situation she’d placed herself in… and she only had herself to blame.

  “Ah,” grinned Ethan as he appeared in the room. “I drank too much last night.” He jumped on the bed and made Bess bounce. She laughed in surprise. “I love hearing you laugh. It’s one of my favorite sounds.”

  Embarrassed, Bess quieted and blushed.

  “Seriously?” he teased as he scooted up the bed so he was straddling her legs. “How can you not realize how much I like you? Last night I even told you I loved you. You are the woman I want to be with… and I want to compliment you every chance I get. You have to get used to it,” he winked.

  “Thank you?” Bess squeaked.

  “Better,” Ethan laughed. “What do you want to do today?”

  “Eat? I’m starving.”

  “Done!” Ethan dove off Bess and reached for the room service menu on the bedside table. He picked up the phone and ordered pretty much one of everything, which had Bess shocked.

  “Who is going to eat all that?”

  “You said you were starving,” he chuckled. “Gotta make sure my girl is fed.”

  Bess took the opportunity to escape to the bathroom and freshen up. She ran her fingers through her hair as best as she could and squeezed a little toothpaste on her finger and ran it over her teeth and tongue. It would have to do. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she silently told herself to relax and take deep breaths. The whole situation was making her more nervous than she could remember being.

  When there came a knock on the hotel door, she realized just how long she’d been hiding in the bathroom. Breakfast had arrived and she couldn’t avoid Ethan any longer. Tightening the tie of her robe, Bess opened the bathroom door and found the bed covered in plates of food. She couldn’t help but laugh when she saw his expression.

  “This should satisfy your empty stomach,” he grinned proudly. “We can just eat all morning.”

  And they pretty much did just that.

  “Ugh! I’m so full!” Bess grunted as she fell back onto the bed. “I ate too much.”

  “There is still lots here,” chuckled Ethan. “We can’t be done yet.”

  “You can keep going, but if I eat another bite I’ll be sick!”

  “How about another mimosa?”

  “Ooh, yes please,” Bess grinned and sat back up. “I always have room for a mimosa!”

  Ethan continued to pick from several plates and Bess sipped on her drink as they chatted about everything from the hospital to favorite singers and movies, to exotic places they’d like to visit. And by ten o’clock, Ethan gave up on trying to finish the copious amount of food he’d ordered and stacked the plates back on the cart room service had left behind. He wheeled it into the hallway and returned to the room.

  “Coffee?” Bess asked, as she poured herself another cup.

  “Sure, thanks. We still have two hours before we have to check out. What would you like to do to pass the time?”

  Bess froze. She thought she heard in his voice a desire that she’d been fearing all night. It was a desire she also felt deep in her core but was trying her best to ignore it. Opening herself up… willingly and knowingly putting herself in a vulnerable position was the last thing she wanted to do, yet she couldn’t deny the tug in her heart.

  Ethan had articulated to her how he’d felt. He’d said those three magical words – I love you – and Bess hadn’t responded. It didn’t appear to have bothered him, which came as a great relief, but she knew that she felt the same way – she just didn’t have the courage to admit it.

  “Did you have something in mind?” she asked, but it sounded way too suggestive. She hadn’t anticipated that. Damn!

  “It sounds like you do,” Ethan grinned.

  “No!” she exclaimed, horrified.

  Trying not to laugh, Ethan pretended to cough, but Bess was not fooled. Eventually, the mortification drained from her face and she was able to smile, just a little. Ethan walked to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

  “You know I would never pressure you into anything.”

  “I know,” Bess nodded.

  “May I kiss you?”

  With surprise, she looked up. Ethan gazed at her with an expression she’d never seen before. With the slightest nod of her head, he lowered his head and his lips found hers. It was the lightest of kisses, his lips barely grazing hers. It was enough to stoke the fire and he kissed her again, this time swiping his tongue across her bottom lip. The inaudible moan he felt from her was all the permission he needed. He wasted no time letting her know his intentions. There was heat and fire in his next kiss as he quickly parted her lips with his tongue and tasted her thoroughly. She captured his moan and returned it with eagerness. Her brain had no control over her reaction. Her body was calling the shots and it wanted Ethan. Her heart was also willing, even though it was terrified of being ripped out and stomped on. But that was a thought for another time.

  His fingers threaded her hair and he kissed her with an intensity that almost frightened Bess. The number of males that had kissed her could be counted on one hand, but nothing could ever have prepared her for the almost uncontrollable reaction her body had as his kisses became more passionate. Her breasts strained against the confines of her robe and the pulsating between her legs was like nothing she’d ever fe
lt.

  Ethan’s kisses were verging on frantic, as though he couldn’t get enough of her or close enough to her. But after several minutes of the best kiss of her life, he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to get so out of hand,” he gasped.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Bess whispered. “I liked it.”

  “More then?” he grinned enthusiastically.

  “More.”

  Twenty minutes later, Ethan once again pulled away. His breathing was labored, Bess’s lips red and swollen. “Time to get dressed and head home,” he breathed heavily.

  A stunned Bess stood in front of him.

  “It is certainly not that I wouldn’t like to take this a step, or ten, further,” he chuckled. “But when I make love to you for the first time, I’m going to take all night, not a rush job before check out time.”

  Bess grinned.

  “Now, I need to take a very cold shower, and you need to get back to your room and get dressed. I’ll come and get you in about fifteen minutes, okay?”

  “Okay,” she agreed, reaching for her keycard on the coffee table and marched out of Ethan’s room and back to her own.

  Yes. I am going to take all night, Elizabeth Williams.

  *****

  Andrew was worried. Bess hadn’t come home last night and that wasn’t like her. He’d sat on the windowsill of the bedroom at the end of the hall upstairs and watched for her all night long, although time meant nothing to him.

  Over the few months he’d allowed her to see him, Andrew had become close to Bess as he’d gotten to know her. He knew there were things in her past that caused her to be fearful and untrusting, but he knew that deep down she would blossom like a rose when she found someone with whom she could open her heart. Early signs were looking like Ethan might be that someone.