Bending Under Pressure

by Lindsay Paige

  I knock on the front door of Haley’s house, hoping she answers instead of her mom or stepdad. But of course, her stepdad answers. His lips are set in a flat line, his eyes are narrowed, and for a moment, I wonder what I did already.

  “Um, is Haley here, sir?” I ask when he doesn’t speak.

  Mr. Walter cracks a grin. “Had you worried for a moment there, didn’t I?”

  I laugh and nod.

  “Good. I’m testing out my ability to be stern. Come on in. I think Haley is still getting ready.” He steps aside so I can walk in. “What made you decide to teach her a stick?” he asks.

  I follow him into the living room where Mrs. Rita is sitting in a recliner and take a seat on the couch while Walter sits in the other recliner. I can’t tell them the real reason—it came up when I was racing—so I lie. “She really likes my car, but she doesn’t know how to drive it. I offered to teach her.”

  “Where are y’all going?” Mrs. Rita asks, her steely eyes focused intently on me.

  “Where my dad taught me. He owns a piece of land, not too far from here. It’ll be the perfect place.” It’s secluded, has no traffic, and plenty of space for her to learn.

  “How long do you think y’all will be gone?”

  “Until she gets the hang of it, I guess. We might go for ice cream afterward.”

  Mrs. Rita nods. “She needs to be home no later than eleven.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I’m almost thankful the interrogation seems to be over, but the silence seems worse. What is Haley doing? I told her when I would be here. Why hasn’t she saved me from them yet? Usually, other people’s parents don’t make me nervous, but something about her mom has me on edge. She ain’t no joke.

  Finally, I hear footsteps.

  “Is Keelan—” she begins, but stops when she sees me. “Oh, hey.” She smiles and I stand, staring at her. How does she manage to get prettier every time I see her? She’s wearing a pair of shorts, showing off her long tan legs, as if I could forget them, and a fitted plain black t-shirt. “Ready?”

  “Yep.” I hold out my hand. She walks over and takes it.

  “See y’all later. Don’t wait up,” she jokes.

  “Eleven o’clock, Haley,” her mom firmly replies.

  “Have fun,” Mr. Walter calls.

  I lead her away from them and outside to my car. We don’t say anything until we’re inside and I’m taking us away.

  “I’m sorry about my mom and stepdad.” There’s a momentary faltering as she says stepdad. She’s still not quite used to it.

  “They’re being your parents.” I shrug. “Are you excited?” I glance over at her in time to see her grin.

  “Yep. Once I master it, does this mean I get to race at least once?” Her voice is lit with pure excitement and adrenaline. If I were to glance at her, I know I would see it reflected in her face as well. Her giddiness and eagerness makes me laugh.

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe? Keelan, that’s the whole point of this, isn’t it? So I can experience it, too?” There’s a hint of desperation in her voice, which confuses me a little. It’s like this is very important, more important that I thought it would be.

  “I was kidding, Hales. Once you master it,” I say, using the word she chose, “then we’ll set you up a race.”

  From the corner of my eye, I see her relax in her seat. “Is there one tonight?”

  My lips spring into a grin. “Yeah, I was going to see if you wanted to ride with me.”

  “Of course I do!” She looks out the window. “Where are we anyway?” she asks as I turn into a gravel drive with cornfields on either side for as far as the eye can see.

  “My dad’s land. He taught me here, so it’s where I’m going to teach you.” I stop the car and put it in park, turning off the engine. The gravel drive goes on for a few miles, usually straight, but with curves here and there around the land. “Let’s switch.”

  Haley wastes no time getting out and jogging around to the driver’s side, a large smile on her face. I love her excitement. We slide into our seats, put on our seatbelt, and Haley turns toward me, waiting for instructions.

  I laugh. “Adjust the seat, Hales.” My legs are longer than hers, so I know the seat won’t be in the proper place for her.

  She giggles before doing so. “Okay. What now?”

  Leaning toward her a bit, I point down to where the clutch is. “That’s the clutch. You need to put one foot there and the other on the brake.” I wait until she does. “Now, turn the key to start the car.” She does. “Put one hand on the gear shift.” When she does, I cover her hand with mine. Not necessary, but I want to touch her. “We’re going to move into first.” Our hands move the stick into first.

  “Okay, here is the tricky part. At the same rate, you need to let up off the clutch while pushing down on the gas.” Haley does it, but kills the engine. “Try again.” We start all over, and it takes four times before she gets it. Already, I’m amazed. She has not once huffed in annoyance that she couldn’t get it like I did when I learned. She didn’t do anything except try again after her failed attempts, a set look of determination in her fierce brows, her focused eyes, and her firm set lips.

  “Good job, Hales,” I say as we begin to move.

  “That’s not all, is it?”

  “No,” I chuckle. “Go a little faster.” The speedometer climbs until we’ve reached the top of the gear, the engine making a revving noise. “Let off the gas, push in the clutch, and shift down into second,” I instruct. She does so seamlessly, an even bigger grin widening on her face. “Once you hear that noise, feel the engine behaving like that, you shift. The more you do it, the easier it is to know the signs because it might not be exactly the same with other cars. Now, to slow down, you’ll press the clutch in, shift into neutral, and then hit the brakes like you normally would in a car. You’ll put it back into first after you’ve stopped and start moving again.”

  We slow to a stop where she turns the car off, restarts it, and begins the process all over again. We continue along the gravel until it turns to dirt as Haley gets a feel for how to drive a stick. She’s a fast learner. Once we reach a place to turn around, I ask, “Ready to test out your skills on the road with traffic?”

  The first flutter of anxiety crosses her features as her hands tighten on the steering wheel. “Already?”

  I laugh. “Yeah, already. You have the hang of it. I think you’re ready. Just turn around up here and head back to the road.”

  “Okay.” She nods to herself and then we’re on our way. “Where are we going?” she asks once we’re at the road.

  “Turn left. We’re going to Elsie’s for a banana split.”

  It’s not until we’re behind a car at the first stop sign where she had to downshift, that she speaks again. “I can’t believe I’ve done it. I was kind of worried it would be difficult because you made it look so easy I didn’t think it actually was.” She pulls into Elsie’s, parks, and angles toward me. “Thanks, Keelan.” Haley leans over and kisses me quickly on the lips, a faint blush lighting her cheeks.

  “You’re welcome.”

  She turns to get out, so I do the same. Mrs. Elsie greets us two seconds after we walk through the door with a hug.

  “Oh, if it isn’t my two favorite customers. Come sit.” She leads us to a booth.

  “You say that to all your customers,” I tease her.

  “Only to the ones who are cute and sweet,” she replies with a wink. “What can I get for you, dear?”

  “We’d like a banana split,” I reply.

  “One to share,” Haley adds to my surprise.

  “Y’all are just like your parents,” she tells me. “So adorable. One banana split coming right up.”

  When she walks away, I tilt my head at Haley and she explains. “I was here for lunch not too long ago. I’m not sure I could finish one all by myself.”

  I nod in understanding. “So, tonight, I’ll pick you up around midnight
, okay? Will that work?”

  “Yep. What are we going to do after this? We still have three hours before I have to be home.”

  “We can go to my house, watch a movie or something.”

  “That sounds like fun,” she agrees.

  Mrs. Elsie drops off our banana split and we both lean forward to dig in; I aim for the strawberry smothered side first and Haley the pineapple side. Banana splits are the best creation on earth. It’s just perfect all the time. We’re quiet for a bit before I think about tomorrow and Seth’s party. I’m still a bit surprised that Seth invited her, not so much that he did, but because it was after she turned him down in front of all of us. He has guts to invite her after that.

  “We’re riding together to Seth’s tomorrow if you want us to pick you up on the way.”

  “I would like that, thanks. Does he have a big party like this every year?”

  I nod. “He invites most of the people in our class, which isn’t hard to do because it’s not like it’s a huge school. When’s your birthday?”

  “May 11th. When’s yours?”

  “January 24th.”

  “Sorry,” she mumbles, pulling out her phone, which seems to be vibrating as it rings with an incoming call. Haley swipes her finger to ignore it. Her mouth opens to speak, but it rings again. She squeezes her eyes closed, some of her strength seems to leave her, and she answers. “What do you want?” her voice asks softly. She holds up a finger to me and slides out of the booth to walk outside.

  I watch her go, wondering who called her and why her demeanor changed so suddenly. Then it hits me as clear as day. Her dad. I watch her pace in front of the windows of the diner, her back rigid. She pulls the phone away like she’s about to hang up, but then presses it to her ear again. She stands still, turned to the side, so I know she’s listening to whatever he’s saying.

  The ice cream begins to melt as I mindlessly eat spoonful after spoonful while I watch her. She nods and then speaks. I’ve finished and paid for our banana split by the time she finishes. She stands there staring at her phone, so I make my way outside.

  “Everything okay, Hales?” I ask quietly.

  She spins around to face me. “I don’t know,” she answers, her voice and frown indicating her confusion. “Can we go to your house now?”

  I nod, hold out my hand, and then lead her to my car. She’s silent on the way back. She is gripping her phone in her hand and every few moments, she drops her gaze from the scenery to stare at it. As usual, my parents are out on their date, and Cam is at Jess’s house, so it’s only us. We walk inside and Haley sits down on the couch. I grab the remote to turn on the TV. After finding a DVD of Fast and Furious, I pop it in and turn to her.

  “Want something to drink? Tea, Coke Zero, water?”

  “Coke, please.”

  Grinning, I say, “You really are a girl after my own heart, aren’t you? If only I could get you to see the light about Virginia Tech.”

  A rush of accomplishment fills me when she laughs and rolls her eyes. “You wish, Keelan.”

  I leave and grab us each a can. I take a seat next to her, start the movie, and relax into the couch. We both take a sip before setting our drinks down on the coffee table. My level of comfort around Haley rises the more I’m with her. It’s how I can reach over and take her hand without thinking too much about it. But I find myself still holding my breath for a reaction from her. I want to see how it affects her. See if it messes with her like it messes with me.

  She squeezes my hand. From the corner of my eye, I watch her chest rise with a quick breath and then she rests her head on my shoulder. Just like that, we watch the movie. At one point, I get thirsty, but I’m comfortable and I like her leaning into to me, so I stay thirsty. It’s hard to focus on the movie completely. How can I? Haley is here, next to me, on our couch, in my house, and we’re alone. Thoughts of kissing her again, like we did when we were alone in her house, pass through my mind multiple times. However, I’m content with sitting like this with her.

  When the movie ends, Haley says, “I just don’t get it.”

  I frown. “Which part?”

  She sits up, pulling her legs onto the couch after she takes off her shoes, and turns toward me. “Not the movie. I meant my dad. All this time, he’s wanted nothing to do with me. He’s barely tried to be in my life since we moved here. Now, all of a sudden, he wants to make things right. Why? What changed?”

  I have no answers for her, or none that I think could be correct, but I try anyway. “Maybe he feels guilty now that you know what he did and has been doing since y’all left.”

  “Oh, so now he grows a conscience?” She shakes her head, an angry glint in her eyes. “He gave me this long spell about how he was sorry and wanted to make things right with me. He apologized for showing up at my game like he did.” Haley pauses and hangs her head to look at her hands in her lap. “He sounded really sorry,” she whispers. Desperately, she wants to forgive him. I can tell by how she talks about him. She’s angry, but she obviously misses him too.

  “Hales, I think you should give him a chance.”

  Her head snaps up. “I want to, but he keeps bringing up his new family and how I would get along with Carly because she plays tennis too.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to know them. They are a part of what ruined my family. He wants to thrust me into his new life. All I want is my dad back.”

  “Did you tell him that?” I ask.

  “No.”

  “Then, you might want to.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Are you racing Alan again tonight?”

  “No. Have you met Finn yet? He’s on the baseball team?” Haley shakes her head. “Well, that’s who I’m racing.”

  “Who usually wins?”

  I crack a grin. “Who do you think?”

  Haley laughs. “Okay, then who do you lose against? You can’t win them all.”

  “Why not?” She tilts her head with an oh, c’mon look. “I’ve lost against everyone I’ve raced a handful of times,” I admit. “As far as you’ve seen,” I lean closer, “I’ve only lost when you were driving, but it was worth it.” Eliminating the distance between us, I do what I’ve wanted to do since the moment I saw her today.

  I slip my hand beneath her silky blonde hair to gently grab her neck and kiss her. My intention was to simply press my lips to hers for a few moments and then pull away. But this is Haley and it’s impossible to stop tasting her. She’s like this vortex that keeps pulling me further and further in until I’m lost, my senses stripped and replaced with all things Haley. When I kiss her, there’s no pressure. Not to do well in school and in football. Not to learn about Natalie and Keira. Not to be the best, grateful kid to my parents. There’s only my Hales and me.

  The kisses are slow, languid, and lazy. The heat that always seems to be between us, just below the surface, is still there, teasing us every so often with a suck on a tongue or quick lash of it against the other’s. When Haley’s hands grasp my face, my body seems to move on its own accord to lay us down. And I am on top of her.

  Holy Hales.

  But I feel a slight change in her, a quick tensing of her muscles. I pull away, resting my forehead against hers. My chest heaves with my heavy breathing. She doesn’t seem nervous, but her body is betraying her. Her fingers twitch against my cheeks.

  “This okay?” I breathe, hoping it is because she feels good beneath me, but if it isn’t, then back upright we go.

  Her eyes search mine. “Just this,” she whispers, pressing a quick kiss to my lips to reinforce her meaning.

  Just kissing.

  I can do that. It’s all I intended to do. I nod and lean in to kiss her again. We stay like that for a while. Our lips melding together fast and then slow before picking back up again. Soft then hard. It’s like my entire body is electrified when Haley gets as wrapped up in us as I am and releases a quiet, but throaty moan. My lips leave hers to explore. I travel down her jaw and then down
her neck. When I place an open-mouthed kiss to the crook of her neck, Haley’s hands move to my chest.

  “Keelan.”

  My name.

  One word.

  Two syllables that echo desire and desperation; but it is also a plea.

  I move to sit up, pulling her with me. She gives me a halfhearted, almost apologetic smile with her swollen well-kissed lips.

  “I need space. Air. Coolness.” She grabs her drink and gulps it down, finishing it off. “Sorry.”

  “No reason to be,” I tell her honestly. The room is beginning to glow with the light from the TV as it darkens outside. I run my hand through the hair at the back of her head, smoothing it out since it is a bit frazzled looking. Seeing the clock on the wall behind her, I notice the time. “I need to get you home.”

  She nods. Her shoulders relax a little more like she’s relieved. Dang. Did I push her too much? Was it too much for her, us lying like that? Did I mess up when I allowed my mouth to venture away from hers?

  “I’m sorry, Hales. I didn’t mean to...” my voice trails off because I’m not sure exactly how I made her feel, only that it’s not good.

  Her eyes widen. “Oh. No. It’s not that exactly.” Heat begins to flush her cheeks.

  “Then what?” I ask softly. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.

  “It’s...it’s just...overwhelming.”

  Now that I understand. However, I run toward it while she shies away from it. I nod in understanding. Suddenly, I remember Haley’s comment about how my mom taught me well, with my manners and behavior. She would be disappointed to know I pushed Haley a bit too far, far enough that she was overwhelmed and relieved that she was getting a break from me.

  Wordlessly, I stand and hold out my hand. We don’t say anything as we go the short distance to her house. I feel so bad. So guilty. I park, walk around to open the door for her, but then close it and lean against it, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. Haley leans into me. When she rests her forehead against my chest and snakes her arms around my waist, I feel some relief.

  I can’t mess up with her.