Maybe not to her, but I would’ve thought I should have a say on who gets to see my room. “Why do you want her around me so much?” I blurt out without thinking. “Shouldn’t a part of you want to keep her away from me because I’m your kid? Shouldn’t you be more hesitant or something?”
Mom shakes her head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you are my son. It’s because of her and her poor choices that I ended up with two sons instead of just one. If she’s living a better life and would like to know you, I think you both deserve the chance. Either way, you’re still my son. You need to stop forgetting that and worrying she will take you from us.”
“It’s not me who is forgetting,” I mumble, certain that Natalie is secretly planning a way to get me to come back to her, even though I have no reason to think so. My gut is sure of it, and that’s all I have to go on right now. Then what she says hits me. “Wait a minute. I’m going shopping with them?” I groan. Great. Just how I wanted to spend my Saturday.
Mom laughs. “I’m sorry, Keelan. Keira has a dance coming up at school apparently.”
“Speaking of siblings, where’s Cam? He wasn’t in his room.”
Mom’s worried look appears on her face. Her eyes crinkle at the corners, her lips press together, and her brows pull inward. “He asked your father to go with him to Elsie’s for breakfast. Something’s going on with him. What is it?”
I grin because this is the perfect time to throw her words back at her. “If he hasn’t told you yet, then neither am I. He must not be ready to talk to you about it.” I even repeat it back in a higher pitched tone to mock hers.
Mom laughs, slapping me in the back of the head. “You’re not funny.” But she’s trying not to smile. It falls away as she thinks about Cam again. “He’s been in a mood all week. Is everything okay with him and Jess? At least tell me that much.”
“As far as I know,” I lie. Cameron is stressing about them having sex. He must be feeling desperate if he’s out to breakfast with Dad right now. He’s surprised me with how nervous he’s been about it. I get it because it is a big deal and it is a reason to be anxious. But Cameron seems to be going overboard, like there’s something more going on than just the fact that he’s supposed to have sex with the girl he’s been dating since freshman year and is in love with. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”
“You’re welcome.” she wraps an arm around my shoulders, causing me to lean into her. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah, and I love you too.” I kiss her cheek. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I’m standing outside of some dress store in the mall, waiting for Natalie and Keira to show up, when my phone vibrates with a text.
Haley: Good luck today :)
Me: I’m shopping. -_-
Haley: Haha! What for? Buying yourself something special?
Me: Keira has a dance and needs a dress. Kill me now.
Haley: Oh, it’ll be fun. Haha
Me: We’ll see. I think they’re here. Ttyl.
I’ve just slipped my phone into my pocket when Keira gives me a rib crushing bear hug. Okay, so it’s kind of cool that she’s so excited about me.
“Keelan! I’m so glad you still came.”
“Yeah, no problem. Hey, Natalie,” I say, returning her hug next. “What kind of dance is it?” I ask Keira.
She loops her arm through mine, leading me into the store. “Just a dance. There’s no theme or anything like that.” Keira rolls her eyes. “My school sucks.”
“Do you have a date?”
She smiles and nods. “His name is Dom. I really like him.” Keira flips through a rack of dresses; Natalie is doing the same on the other side.
“Is he nice to you? Opens doors for you? Says ma’am and sir to adults?”
Keira and Natalie laugh.
“You’re already acting like her big brother,” Natalie says.
“He’s nice to me. Sometimes, he holds open the door for me. No, he doesn’t say ma’am or sir,” Keira answers, a smile on her face.
“Then he’s not worth your time. Mom told me that I must always be a gentleman, always have manners, and treat girls as such with respect. You deserve the same.”
Natalie seems to pause when I say mom, but Keira isn’t phased. Instead, she laughs. “He’s only taking me to a dance.”
“Doesn’t matter.” I’ve surprised myself by doing as Natalie suggested and turned into a big brother to her. I decide to change the subject to try to learn more about her. “Do you like school? Or have a favorite subject?”
She nods as she holds up a short red dress for Natalie to see. Thankfully, she tells her it’s too short. Answering my questions, she says, “I like school. English is my favorite because my teacher assigns books for us to read and I love reading. Sometimes, I don’t care for the books they make us read though.”
“Really? My, uh, girlfriend likes to read, too.” Haley is my girlfriend, right? “She has a ton of books in her room. Enough for three bookcases.”
Keira opens her mouth, her eyes dancing with excitement when she looks at me, but Natalie speaks first. “You’ve been in your girlfriend’s bedroom?” She raises an eyebrow. “Alone? Were her parents home? Did the Sandersons know you were there?” It bugs me how she can’t call them my parents.
“Mom and Dad knew I was there. Her parents came home shortly after we got there.” Not that it’s any of your business I think.
“What kind of books does she like to read? Your girlfriend is Haley, right? The girl we met at your football game?”
“Yeah, that’s her. I think that as long as it has romance in it, she will read it. That’s all I know.” We’re too busy with other things like racing and kissing and lying in a hammock for me to know exactly what she likes to read. I guess I should find out since it could give me something more to talk about with Keira.
“That’s so cool. I’m the same way.”
I nod and find myself holding two dresses she wants to try on. Now, come on. When did I become that guy? Sure, Mom would love that I’m doing this, but come on! It’s bad enough I have to come shopping with them, but now I have to hold their things? Withholding a sigh, I ask another question instead. “Do you play sports?”
Natalie throws her head back in a laugh. “You’re the only one with athletic skills in the family, Keelan. Keira couldn’t catch a ball if you tossed it to her and she’s more likely to trip over her feet when she runs.”
Keira frowns. “I’m not that bad, Mom.” She glances at me. “I played volleyball last year, but quit halfway through because the girls weren’t nice.”
“Sorry.” She shrugs and hands me another dress. I rack my brain for some of the questions she asked me so I can ask her. I almost wish I could get her away from Natalie and ask her what she really thinks about her, but considering she now lives with her, I guess she likes her okay. “What else do you like to do?”
“Watch TV, play card games, and cook. Aunt Frances taught me how and I love it.”
“Do you like cooking anything in particular?”
“Desserts.”
“So does my mom. She could probably give you some recipes to try tonight.”
Keira’s face lights up. “Oh! I’d love that. I’ve been searching online for new stuff to try, but nothing has appealed to me so far.” From the corner of my eye, Natalie frowns. “Okay, I think this is plenty. Let’s go try them on.”
Plenty is ten dresses. Ten! When Mom drags us clothes shopping, we’re in and out in an hour tops. Cameron and I probably try on ten items total. Keira disappears into a stall while Natalie and I sit outside of it on an uncomfortable wooden bench.
“Thank you for being so nice to her,” Natalie says quietly so Keira won’t hear. “She’s always known about you and has always wanted to get to know her big brother. You’re making her dreams come true.”
“She’s cool,” I tell her, because I have no idea what I’m supposed to say. Is it odd that I feel
closer to Keira than Natalie? Or that if I could ease her out of this equation, I would? Keira steps out in a yellow dress that is just above mid-thigh. How did these things end up in the junior section?
“No,” Natalie and I say simultaneously.
Keira pouts. “But it’s so cute!”
“You won’t be allowed into the dance, Keira,” I tell her, figuring our schools have the same policy. “It’s too short.”
“Okay, fine. Whatever.”
She steps back into the dressing room to try on the next one. She had to have slipped that one into the pile underneath another one because I would have seen it otherwise.
“Will you tell me about your childhood?” Natalie asks.
“Um, it was good. My parents gave us everything we needed, instilled good values, and they let me keep my brother.”
“What do you mean?”
“They were only looking to adopt one kid, Cameron, but we were best friends. We had already claimed to be each other’s brother. Mom and Dad saw us together, saw how he reacted when they told Cam was told he was getting a family, but I wasn’t coming with him and vice versa. They didn’t want to separate us, so they adopted us both.”
Natalie is quiet for a moment. “I didn’t know that.”
Keira steps out in a red dress, but Natalie tells her she doesn’t like it. Back into the dressing room she goes.
“Mom would probably be able to tell you stories like you want to hear. I don’t really know where to start or what to say other than they were the best parents I could ever ask for and I wouldn’t trade them for anyone.” Is it harsh for me to say that? Even though it’s the truth?
“I’m sure you’ll still enjoy meeting your real family.” I clench my jaw at real family, but don’t say anything as she continues, “Whenever you’re ready, that is.” Keira shows off another dress that we both agree is a bad choice. Once she’s back inside, Natalie asks, “Is there anything you would like to know about your father?”
“No,” I answer curtly, but then I worry about having to deal with another parent. “Is he still in jail?”
“Yes, and he will be for a while.” When I make no move to speak more about it, Natalie decides to. “He knows I found you and am getting to know you again. One day, he would like for you to visit him.”
Visit him? In jail? I don’t even know what he did and have no desire to know. No way am I going to a prison to visit my long lost biological father. I shake my head.
“Just think about it, Keelan.”
“No,” I answer firmly. “I’m not doing it, and I’m not sure my parents would want me to either.” Surely, they wouldn’t send me into a prison, even to visit someone who shares my DNA.
“Well, I’m sure I can talk to them—” she begins.
“They aren’t going to make me do anything I don’t want to do, and I don’t want to do it.” Annoyed with her, needing some space, and wishing I were with my parents right now, I stand. “I’ll be outside.” Mom would be upset that I’ve walked away from a situation that was stressing me out, but I can’t help it. Does anyone not understand that this is difficult? That no one should be pushing me into meeting someone, into having a relationship with her?
Needing to do something other than pace outside the store, I call Haley. I don’t think she had anything planned for today.
“Hey,” she answers. “Why are you calling? Is everything okay?”
“With Kiera, yes. Natalie, no. I needed a break while Keira tried on dresses.”
There’s a short pause. “And you called me?” I can hear the happiness in her voice.
I laugh. “Yeah, I called you, Hales.”
“Well, what’s going on? Or do you not want to talk about it?”
With a deep breath, I begin explaining things. “It was going okay. She asked me about my childhood, Keira and I were getting along, and then Natalie tells me my dad would like me to visit him.”
“What’s so bad about that?” Haley hesitantly asks.
“He’s in prison.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. I told her no and she keeps telling me to think about it or that she can talk to my parents to get them to let me, but I told her I didn’t want to do it. On top of that, they are supposed to come back home with me for dinner.”
“I’m sorry,” she sighs. “I wish I could help.”
“You’re listening to me vent, aren’t you?”
She laughs. “Yes, I’m listening to you whine.”
“I’m not whining,” I scoff.
“I was joking, Keelan,” she laughs. “I think you should hang up with me and go make sure your sister picks out a pretty dress. If you want and if it’s not too late, text me when they leave and I’ll come over for some hammock time.”
I grin. “You just want to lay against me again,” I tease.
“Or maybe I’m taking advantage of your hammock since I don’t have one. We’ll never know. Bye, Keelan.”
“Bye, Hales.”
Feeling better, I walk back into the store and over to the dressing room in time to see Keira looking at herself in a mirror, wearing a green dress. She looks beautiful in it. It goes down to her ankles and she is covered where she needs to be.
“I like that one.”
Natalie and Keira whirl around at the sound of my voice. Natalie seems thankful I’ve returned, but doesn’t say anything.
“Really?” Keira asks with excitement.
“Yeah, you look beautiful.”
Her grin widens. “I want this one.”
Natalie nods and Keira disappears behind the door to change out of it. “Shoes are next,” she tells me.
The rest of the day goes more smoothly. Natalie doesn’t bring up any more family members. She lets Keira do most of the talking. The girl loves to talk, so there’s never a lull in conversation. I like her though. What does that mean? Is she now a part of my family? Do I need to answer how I have a brother and a sister if someone asks? What does this mean for my family? Can I invite her over, but not Natalie? Or are they a package deal? Keira wouldn’t really threaten the life I have now. Cameron could gain a sister, too.
They follow me back to my house, and it’s weird to have them there.
“You grew up here?” Keira asks in awe as she stares at the house.
“Yep.”
“It’s so nice.”
“Yes, it is,” Natalie agrees.
“Thanks.”
I lead the way into the house. Mom and Dad stand to greet them, asking how the shopping trip went.
“We found me a dress,” Keira answers with a smile.
“We had a blast,” Natalie adds.
“Can I see your room?” Keira asks me.
“Sure.”
She and Natalie follow me up the stairs. As we pass Cameron’s room, I wonder how things are going for him. They admire my trophies and glance around my room. Keira seems to be soaking it in, while I feel like Natalie is assessing it. Or maybe I’m looking for a reason not to like her even more. They comment about how they like my room, and then we’re back downstairs with my parents. Luckily, Mom takes over.
She shows them pictures of when I was younger, telling stories of my childhood, and I’m so grateful she’s doing it instead of me. In nearly all the pictures, Cameron is by my side. We’re the best of siblings. When Keira asks where he is, Dad answers, “He’s spending time with his girlfriend today.”
I raise an eyebrow at him.
“I’m going to put the chicken on the grill.”
“I’ll help,” I offer. We grab the chicken from the kitchen and walk to the back porch. “What’s going on with Cameron?” I ask. I texted him earlier, but he didn’t reply. I want to ask if he’s still planning to have sex with Jess, but that’s not really the kind of question you ask your dad.
Dad sighs as he begins to lay the chicken on the grill. “Sometimes, I wish I knew what was really going through his head. He’s supposed to talk to her, figure out if there’s something
more to it, and tell her he isn’t ready. Something more is bothering him, but he won’t tell me what.”
“He’s scared of losing her.”
Dad shakes his head. “I don’t think that will happen, and I think it’s more than that. I’m just hoping he won’t give in because he’s worried about losing her if he doesn’t. I’ve never seen him like he was this morning.”
That makes me worry. Cameron is the calm, cool, fun guy. I’m going to be really pissed if Jess freaks on him or makes him feel bad for not having sex with her yet.
Dad, wanting to change the subject, asks, “How was shopping really?”
I sigh. “I like Keira more than Natalie.” Dad laughs, but stops as I go on to explain what happened when she mentioned my birth father. “I’m tired of people pushing me, Dad.”
He closes the grill top and throws an arm around my shoulders. “I know you are. Mom is trying to be better about it. I think she does it because she knows what you’re afraid of, and she doesn’t want you not to do it because of that. As for Natalie, maybe she is trying too hard, but it’s only because she wants to get to know how amazing you are.”
“Would you be okay with me visiting a man in prison? Even if he was my birth father? Honestly? Not the parent-encouraging-child answer, the real answer you can tell me when Mom isn’t around.”
I watch as his white eyelids blink a few times as he thinks it over. Dad knows whatever it was my parents did to land in jail and I’m wondering if that will affect his answer. He clears his throat. “No, I wouldn’t want you to go.” My shoulders sag with relief. “However, if you wanted to go, I think Mom and I would have to discuss it before we gave you the green light or not. It won’t be like how we were with Natalie.”
Whatever my birth father did must have been bad. Obviously, if he’s still in prison, but I don’t know if what he’s in for now is the same as when I was a kid.
“We need to get back inside, son, before they come looking for us.”
We return to where the women are still in the living room. Mom seems to have just finished sharing recipes with Keira.
“So, what does Keelan do to get in trouble?” Kiera asks my parents. “He seems like a good guy, but he’s probably not good all the time, right?”
Bending Under Pressure Page 14