“Why are you apologizing to me?”
“Because you have to take me to school and back, plus they’re taking your keys before they go to bed, so I can’t use your truck to leave.”
“Seriously?” he asks, sitting up. “That means I can’t go see Jess! Damn, Keelan, way to mess up everyone’s life. How long am I grounded with you?” he mumbles.
“I don’t know. They didn’t say.”
Cameron groans. “Haven’t you learned anything in all the years I’ve been dating Jess? You gotta be careful, Keelan.”
“Get off my back, Cam. I said I was sorry.” Before he can reply, I bundle everything in my arms and then drop it off in my parents’ bedroom. He’s disappeared into his bedroom and closed the door by the time I make it back.
Great, not only am I grounded, but I’ve pissed off my brother too. The only positive I see is this could be my excuse to not see Natalie for a while. I like Kiera and Frances, but not Natalie. She hasn’t done anything but stress me out since she re-entered my life. I don’t want her in it anymore. Or, I only want limited contact with her. Maybe this month will give me time away from her to figure it out.
With all my free time, I do my homework, plus work ahead on some papers and presentations we were assigned. I eventually get sick of schoolwork. I’m bored out of my mind with nothing to do. How am I going to survive a month of this?
It takes only two days into being grounded for my parents to let Natalie know why I was “ignoring her phone calls.” It takes two weeks before my parents realize I am using being grounded as a way to avoid her. Luckily, I’m able to avoid her for another week before giving in and agreeing to have dinner with her one Saturday evening.
The plan is to tell her that I would like it if all communication initiation is left to me. Then I won’t have to dodge her calls or answer them and I can control how often I talk to her. I feel like I need more control where is she concerned.
As usual, we meet at Elsie’s. I wish Keira had come with her, so it wouldn’t be just the two of us, but I didn’t get that lucky this time. Natalie is already seated at a booth, and I walk over and sit across from her.
“How’s being grounded?” she asks with a smile.
“It sucks.”
She laughs. A waitress comes to take our orders before leaving us alone for the moment. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that even though I can’t blame the Sandersons for their reaction. Are they still allowing you to date that girl?”
“Yes, Haley is still my girlfriend,” I confirm, though it doesn’t feel like it. How can she be when I barely see her? Seeing her during school doesn’t count at all.
Natalie frowns. “Oh.”
“Is there any particular reason you wanted to see me?” I ask, trying my best to keep my annoyance out of my voice. She doesn’t get a say in what I do or whom I see. She doesn’t get to show her disapproval either.
“Actually, yes.” Surprise, surprise. “Have you changed your mind about visiting your father?”
“No.” The short word quickly comes out of my mouth. “I don’t want to see him.” It’s bad enough that I’m seeing her. I don’t want to visit a man in prison.
“C’mon, Keelan. He’s your father and he would love to see you and talk to you.”
“I don’t care,” I interrupt before she can continue her spiel. “I don’t want to. I don’t know him and I don’t want to know him. Don’t push me on this.”
“If you’re worried about the Sandersons—”
“I’m not worried about my parents getting in the way. I don’t want to. Why do you want this so much?”
“Because he’s your real family. We are your real family and you don’t want to know us. It’s not fair that you aren’t giving us a chance.”
“It’s not fair?” I scoff. “Being in foster care because you have shitty parents isn’t fair. Being adopted by my parents was the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t have to be here at all. I don’t want to be, if you want me to be honest. I love my life just the way it is. My real family is the parents who raised me and the brother I grew up with. I don’t want to visit someone in prison, even if I’m related to him by blood. I don’t even know what he did!”
Natalie’s eyes harden. “You don’t know anything about any of us because you don’t ask.”
“No, I don’t know because you went to jail when I was a kid and I was put into the system and then adopted. It’s your fault you lost your son, not mine. I’m not your son anymore, and you’re not making me want to be.” She opens her mouth to respond, but I beat her to it. “This isn’t going to work for me anymore. If I want to talk, I’ll call. I’m sorry.” I stand and hurry out of the restaurant.
My parents wouldn’t even let me drive my own car, so I had to borrow my mom’s. I wish I could punch it, let the speed calm me, but I can’t. Instead, I have to drive responsibly. When I get home, my main goal is to go straight to my room.
“What are you doing back so soon?” Mom asks when she rounds the corner and sees me.
I hand her the car keys. “I don’t want to talk about it. Can I go to my room?”
“No, let’s sit down and talk.”
“Mom,” I groan. “I don’t want to.” Quickly, I add, “Not yet.”
She eyes me for a moment before nodding. “Okay, but you will as soon as you’re ready?”
Yeah, I will. Just not today.
Torture.
Grounding like this should fall under cruel and unusual punishment. For a long, long month, I’ve only had lunch during the week with Haley at school and our one class together. Five extra minutes before and after school to talk and kiss her, thanks to Cam being a good brother. Other than that, I haven’t been with her. It’s been torture.
I also never realized how much I loved driving my car. While it’s been fun picking on Cameron by calling him my personal chauffeur, I miss my car as much as I miss Haley. I can’t wait to drive and race it again. The short drive to Haley’s house won’t be enough.
Today, we’re going to her father’s wedding. I can’t lie and say I’m not worried about how it’ll go. She’s only spoken to her father three times while we’ve been grounded, and he hasn’t made any efforts to see her since he forgot about her. That can’t be a good sign, right?
I grab my phone, I’ve missed it as well, and text her.
Me: I can’t wait to see you in your dress. :)
My phone lights up with an incoming call from Haley.
“Hey, Hales.”
“Hey, it’s going to be just us. Mom and Walter are sick with the flu and can’t go. So, I need you to ask your parents if it’s still okay for you go with me and drive us back tonight.”
“Okay, give me a second.” My heart is beating faster now. I’ll have Haley all to myself and I’ll be able to drive my car for hours tonight? Best way to come off of being grounded. I race downstairs and into the living room. “Haley’s parents have the flu. If it’s okay with y’all, the new plan is for us to go and then drive home tonight.”
Dad’s eyes narrow. “Her parents are okay with that plan?”
“Do you want to talk with her mom?” I ask. I don’t know if they trust me again, so I’ll jump through whatever hoops I need to.
“Yes.”
“Hales, can your mom talk to my dad and let him know they’re okay with it?”
“Yeah, hold on.”
I wait with a baited breath as they talk and approve. “Thanks.” I take my phone back and run upstairs. “I’m almost ready, and then I’ll be there to pick you up.”
“Okay,” she says quietly.
“Nervous?”
“Yes, but we’ll have two hours to talk about it on the way there. Don’t be late, Keelan.”
“I won’t,” I promise. Once I hang up, I change into my black slacks, white dress shirt, and pink tie, which is supposed to match Haley’s dress. I grab my dress coat last. November has brought cold, windy weather and I’ll probably need it. Now I’m ready to get
my girl.
A short drive and three knocks later, Haley opens the door. Her light pink dress falls to the floor. The three-quarter sleeves are sheer lace and the lace covers her shoulders as well. Somehow, it’s simple, casual, and dressy all at once. Her blonde hair is set in curls, framing her face.
“You’re beautiful,” I finally say.
She smiles widely. “Thank you. You look handsome yourself. Let me say goodbye and I’ll be ready.” She rushes down the hall, but returns moments later. She grabs her phone and then my hand, tugging me to my car. Haley starts talking the moment we’re in the car as she sets up the GPS. “I don’t know if we should go. We could skip, go somewhere else, and make up for the past month.”
I laugh. “No way. I’m not doing anything so soon to make my parents mistrust me. Besides, you’re just nervous.” I reach over, squeeze her hand, and then move it back to the gearshift. “It’ll be fine, Hales.”
“I’m trying to be positive, but I have a bad feeling about it. He hasn’t even called me this week, Keelan. And what’s going to happen when I get there? Where do I sit? Up front with the family or in the rows afterward? Do I try to find him or wait until the reception? I don’t know what to do!”
“Put your hand over mine.”
“What?”
“Do it.” She does. “Calm down,” I gently order her. “It’s a simple wedding. Forget it’s your father’s. Instead, we’re going to a wedding, and I’m your date. We have two hours there and two hours back all to ourselves. Maybe even more than that because who knows what’ll happen at the reception or how long it’ll last. We are going to have fun at the very least, I promise.”
Haley is quiet for a bit before she nods. “Okay.”
Her relative silence the rest of the drive proves she doesn’t quite believe me. That’s okay. I’m skeptical as well, but I can’t tell her that. It’ll probably freak her out even more.
The wedding is being held in a large church. There are tons of vehicles in the parking lot, but we’re able to find a space. Haley’s eyes are glued to the large wooden doors where people are walking inside. I turn off my car, waiting until she makes a move.
“Did you know that I only said I would come because I knew it would make him happy?” she says quietly, never looking away from the doors.
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“I thought it would help things. But then he forgot me again and barely talks to me. I don’t even know why I’m here.”
“Because he’s your dad and you wanted to give him another chance,” I answer.
“Well, this is his last chance.” She opens the door and steps out, so I follow. Haley grasps my hand when we meet at the front of my car; she is shivering.
“Where’s your coat?”
Her smile shows her embarrassment. “I guess I forgot it.”
I shrug out of mine and hang it over her shoulders before we continue on our way.
We’re a little early, which is normally a good thing, but all it’s doing is making me more anxious. Most of the people are milling around in the lobby until it’s time to be seated, I guess. Since I haven’t spoken to Dad, I don’t know if he’s in here as well or somewhere else. I assume somewhere else. I search the sea of people for someone familiar. There’s no time before the large wooden doors of the sanctuary open. Ushers seemingly appear out of nowhere to lead people to their seats.
Keelan and I are led to seats, answering my question that I won’t be in the front with family. That is until my grandparents spot me. My dad isn’t close to them and therefore I’m not either. However, it is apparently unacceptable for me to keep my current seat. So, Keelan and I have to move to where two seats were reserved for us. I drop my cell into Keelan’s coat pocket since I don’t have any and return it to him now that we’re inside and I’m warm. He shrugs it back on.
Keelan leans over, his lips brushing my ear as he whispers, “Doing okay?” I nod and he chuckles. “You’re a terrible liar, Hales.” He releases my hand to wrap an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I’m grateful to have him here with me as a source of comfort, even if my grandparents eye him like he’s poison or something. “Want me to distract you?”
“How are you going to do that?” My gaze falls to his lips.
He grins. “Keep your mind out of the gutter. So, when I met Natalie for lunch last week, she was being Natalie and tried to convince me I should see my birth father.” Keelan has been actively avoiding talking about it. So much so that his mom even called my house and asked if he’d discussed it with me. I didn’t tell him she called, but it made me worry about him more. He continues to tell me what happened, keeping his voice low. “I’ll probably tell my parents tomorrow because I haven’t yet, but I feel a lot better about it.”
I don’t get to respond in any way before the groomsmen are taking their place as well as my father and the pastor. Dad smiles at me, but that’s it. Granted, he can’t do much right now either. In no time at all, the bridal party is coming up the aisle. I squeeze Keelan’s hand when I see Carly. I have to admit that she looks cute in her dress and I begin to wonder what she’s like. We stand once the music starts for the bride and Keelan takes my hand again.
This is the first time I’m getting a good look at Tonya. She’s beautiful in her dress, unfortunately. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to be happy that my parents aren’t together because Walter is good for Mom and they really love each other. However, this woman still played apart in ripping us a part. How could she do that to someone else’s family, especially when she has one of her own? Does Carly know how her mom and my dad got together?
Will my dad cheat on Tonya like he cheated on my mom?
Should I be thinking about this during their wedding?
Probably not.
My mind shuts down in a numb sort of way as I watch my father marry this woman. How can he do this? How can these vows mean something if he broke them once already while he was married to my mom? How can he be a good stepdad to Carly if he’s a terrible dad to me? This is wrong on so many levels. I shouldn’t even be here. I don’t support it and I hate my dad for what he did. I don’t even think he’s truly apologized for his actions.
Even if he did, how can that mean anything when he still forgets about me?
The church erupting into clapping and cheers snaps me out of my daze in time to see him kiss his new bride. I wish my mom were here. I wish someone could tell me what to feel or help me sort out how I feel instead of feeling a little bit of everything. After the wedding party left, someone stands at the front of the room and gives instructions on how to get to the dining hall where the reception will be held.
“Let’s sit here for a minute,” I tell Keelan, while everyone seems to converge in the same direction all at once, including my grandparents.
“How are you doing?”
“Wishing I hadn’t come,” I confess.
“Do you want to skip the reception?” His eyes light up with heat and desire. “I’m sure we can find a way to fill in the time before we’re expected back home.”
“What happened to making sure we don’t do anything to risk getting grounded again?”
“Right. You make me want to take the risk.” He sobers and rubs his thumb over my knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Do you?”
“I already did.”
I roll my eyes because he did not talk about it. He simply explained what happened and briefly commented on his feelings. The crowd has thinned, so I stand, pulling him with me. “Let’s go to a reception.”
My grandparents seem to have left already because I don’t see them anywhere. We find an unoccupied table and take a seat. A couple approaches the table with nice smiles.
“Mind if we sit here?” the man asks.
“No,” I answer with a shake of my head.
They sit down, and the woman turns to me with a smile. “So, who do you know? The bride or the groom? I think I would know
everyone on the bride’s side, but I keep being surprised.”
“Oh, the groom. I’m his daughter, Haley, and this is my boyfriend, Keelan.” Both of their jaws drop in surprise. “What about you?”
“The bride is my sister. I, um, didn’t realize Tonya would be getting a stepdaughter. Carly must be excited though. You don’t live with your dad then, right? Otherwise, I’m sure we would’ve met by now.”
Pain explodes in my chest. They didn’t know I existed. How could they not know? Dad didn’t talk about me at all with his new relatives? Before I can think better of it, I curtly respond, “No, I don’t live with him. When he cheated on my mom with Tonya, I decided to live with Mom instead.”
That shuts them up, but by the surprise in their eyes, they must not have known about how the couple came to be. A waiter, who I assume is with the catering company they hired, comes to pour water in our glasses and ask them if they want something alcoholic to drink. Thanks to having family of the bride at our table, two more relatives sit down. It’s obvious by their surprise as well that they didn’t know my dad had a daughter.
I fold my arms over my chest, pissed off and wishing I could pout like a kid. What’s the point in me coming when no one aside from my dad knew who I was? Keelan rests an arm on the back of my chair, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the lace on my shoulder. I shoot him a grateful smile. He looks down at his pocket and pulls out my phone, handing it to me.
Mom has texted me. A few times, it seems.
Mom: Did you get there okay?
Mom: Please let me know you arrived.
Mom: You’re starting to worry me.
I quickly reply to her.
Me: Sorry, I didn’t see the text before the wedding. At the reception now. Her family didn’t even know I existed! I don’t know how long we’ll stay, but I want to stay long enough to see Dad. I can’t believe him.
A minute later, she responds.
Mom: What do you mean they didn’t know you existed? Let me know when y’all leave.
Bending Under Pressure Page 23