“She went to let Dad know what happened.”
He nods and focuses on me. “We’ll take care of her from here. Your family is probably tired and ready to go home.”
“Your family?” Haley questions.
“Yeah, Mom was with me when I went looking for you and we found you. Dad and Cam came afterward. I guess I better go.” I didn’t want to leave her. The last time I left her, she went and hurt herself. There doesn’t seem to be another option though. I kiss her cheek, hand her phone to Walter, and give her one last smile before I leave.
“I was thinking about going to see Haley today,” I tell Mom at breakfast.
“I was thinking you could finally tell me what happened with Natalie. She called yesterday and said you’ve been ignoring her again.”
I scoff. “How? You just gave me my phone back yesterday. I told her not to call anymore anyway.”
“Why?”
“What did my birth father do to land in prison?” I blurt out. I’ve actually been wondering about this, but only because Natalie is so adamant about me meeting him and Dad said they wouldn’t be comfortable with it when I first brought it up to him.
Mom stares at me. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Natalie keeps pushing me to visit him, and I keep telling her no. We disagreed about it and I told her I’d rather not have a relationship with her, but if I did, I would be the one to call her. I gave her as much of a chance as I could, but I really don’t want her in my life. That’s what happened. So what did he do? What did she do?”
“Are you sure you want to know?”
Well, maybe not. Mom seems reluctant, so maybe I should retract my question. I think. “Just tell me.” How bad can it be?
“He was convicted of murder and she as an accessory after the fact as well as drug charges.”
This time, I’m staring at her. What? A thousand more questions rise among my disbelief. My heart is beating as hard as it was last night when I saw Haley’s mangled car. My birth father is a murderer and my birth mother helped him? No wonder Dad didn’t want me to go visit him. How could Natalie let Kiera visit him?
My mouth is sealed closed. I set my spoon down in my bowl of cereal and stand. “I think I’ll shower and go see Haley.”
“Keelan,” Mom calls; I don’t turn to face her, but I do stop.
“Just leave me alone for a while.”
“Okay.”
With that, I continue on my way upstairs. The last thing I want to think about for the rest of my entire life is what she just told me. I should’ve never asked. The moment I think about how racing down Dead Man’s Curve would be the perfect distraction, I immediately eject it. Haley had the same thought and look what happened to her.
She will be my distraction. I groan when I see Jess’s car at her house when I arrive an hour later. Why does she have to be here? I want Haley and no one else. Not going to happen just yet apparently.
Jess opens the door with a smile. “Keelan, what are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” I ask, pushing my way past her.
“My best friend was in a car accident; I came to see her.”
“Best friend? You’ve been a crappy friend to her, Jess. You’ve been a crappy girlfriend to my brother too, while we’re at it.” I don’t see Haley or her parents, so they all must be in their rooms.
Jess folds her arms over her chest and glares at me. “Don’t start. You can’t judge me when they’ve forgiven me.”
“I can and I do. I haven’t forgiven you, and I don’t believe things are magically okay with you and Cam.”
“Are y’all going to argue or visit with me?”
I swivel to see Haley standing in the hallway. It’s a relief to see her again. She’s wearing that tank top from last night and I see a gash along her chest where her seat belt must have cut into her. My issues with Jess are forgotten as Haley turns toward her room. She’s walking so slowly, I think Mrs. Elsie’s husband walks faster and he can be slow.
“How are you feeling, Hales?” I ask.
“Terrible.” She eases herself into bed, sitting up against the headboard. I climb in to sit next to her in the middle while Jess follows to sit on the other side.
“Give me an update.”
Haley tilts her head back and closes her eyes. Jess is the one who answers me. “An officer stopped by this morning to give her a speeding ticket, which included careless and reckless driving and crossing the yellow line. She’s been grouchy all morning and hasn’t been talking much because she doesn’t feel well.”
“So, you want to lie around and be lazy all day?” I ask her.
“There isn’t another option,” Haley answers.
“Sounds perfect.”
We sit there in relative silence for a while. Jess eventually goes to see Cam. Haley falls asleep on and off, but I don’t care. Being here with her is the best I could ask for. Since we haven’t been talking much, I observe her. Her breathing seems controlled and she whimpers in her sleep if she moves the wrong way.
“Keelan?” Rita is standing in the doorway. Her mask is gone, but she’s clearly still sick. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“I got here awhile ago. Is that okay? I just wanted to be with her,” I finish with a glance at a sleeping Haley.
“Yeah, that’s okay. I’m going to fix us lunch. Do you want something as well?”
“Sure. Do you need some help?” I offer.
She surprises me when she nods and waves her hand for me to join her. I carefully leave Haley’s bed and room to follow her into the kitchen. Lunch is going to be simple sandwiches. We’re quiet at first, but then Rita breaks the silence.
“Walter filled me in on what happened at the wedding.” She pauses. “Do you...do you think Haley wrecked on purpose?”
“What? No. She said there was a deer.”
“I know she said that, but she was also going entirely too fast. I don’t want to think my daughter would do that, Keelan. This stuff with her dad has her turned inside out and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why she would do something so stupid. As far as I know of, she’s a cautious, safe driver. I don’t know if this is some way for her to get her father’s attention. I thought you would know more about her state of mind than I would since you were with her.”
Guilt flares up within me again. “I’m not sure why she chose speeding,” I lie, “but I think she was hoping it would have the same effect as when she goes to the courts. She was upset, Mrs. Rita, but I think she just needed something to make her stop thinking about what happened. She seemed more resolved that he wasn’t going to change than how to make him be her dad again.” I don’t really know that for sure because Haley didn’t say a word on the way home, but I don’t think she would ever wreck on purpose.
Her mom seems to accept this. “Thank you, Keelan.”
For some reason, I feel worse, even though I completely believe what I said. Maybe because it’s my fault Haley is in the predicament she’s in. Yes, I didn’t make her speed, but she wouldn’t have if I hadn’t given her the idea to start with. If not for that, she would’ve been at the courts playing out her frustrations.
What I need to feel better about this entire weekend is Haley in my arms. We’re going to figure out a way for me to hold her after lunch. Maybe then I’ll be able to forget about my birth parents and my guilt.
My entire body aches. My ribs hurt, my head hurts, and my arm hurts. I’ve been uncomfortable all day, even in my sleep. At least Keelan is here with me. After we ate sandwiches for lunch, he insisted on sitting so he was behind me. His legs are on either side of mine and I’ve been leaning against his chest. His knuckles have been grazing along my right arm, up and down in a slow, lazy motion.
“You’re still here?” I’ve just woken up from another nap. Even though he’d have to wake me in order to leave, I’m still surprised he hasn’t left yet. He’s been here all day.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?
” he asks with a hint of laughter in his voice.
“No, but aren’t you bored?” He must be. I’ve been sleeping more than I’ve been awake and when I have been awake, I haven’t been very talkative.
“I’d rather be here than at home,” he answers.
“Why? What happened?”
Keelan takes a deep breath, it tickles my neck as strands of my hair moves against it. “I came here to see you and not think about it.”
“Tell me,” I beg in a soft voice. “Did you tell your mom what happened with Natalie? Is that it?”
He’s quiet while he probably debates whether to answer me. Eventually, he does. “Yeah, and Mom told me why they went to jail. I’m not telling you. Ignorance is bliss, Hales.”
“So, it’s bad?”
“Yeah,” he says with a humorless laugh. “It’s worse than I thought it could be. I want to go back to before she contacted me, so I wouldn’t know all this crap.”
“But then you wouldn’t know Kiera,” I point out. “Or your aunt.”
“True. Do you want to talk about what happened with your dad?”
Guess that’s the end of us discussing him and his problems. I want to sigh, but I think it would hurt too much to do it. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s changed, not for the better, and I’m tired of trying. I won’t ignore him, but I’m not going to be calling him either.”
“I think that sounds like a good plan.”
Me too. Hopefully, I can hold myself to my decision. Mom enters my room, eyeing us with narrowed eyes, but she doesn’t say anything about it. She sits on the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Sore, but fine.”
She nods, her eyes moving to Keelan. “It could be a while before we can get her another car. If you and your parents are okay with it, I was wondering if you could take her to school. I can take her while I’m sick, but once I have to go to work, I’ll need someone else to get her there. Maybe Jess could bring you home since he has practice?” Mom finishes to me.
“We’ll be happy to get her to and from school, Mrs. Rita,” Keelan answers for himself and Jess.
“Thank you. You should head home, Keelan; I want to talk to my daughter for a while.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I move slowly, so Keelan can get out of my bed. He slips his shoes on and turns to kiss my cheek, which makes me smile. I would be getting a different kind of kiss if my mom weren’t in the room.
“I’ll text you later, Hales.”
“Bye.” Mom and I are quiet as he walks out of the room, hearing the front door close moments later. “What did you want to talk about?” I ask.
“How are you really doing with everything? Keelan told Walter about the wedding and Walter told me, so I already know what happened.”
I shrug, wishing I could forget about it already. “I’m fine.” Part of me wants to ask if Dad tried to come, but I don’t ask. “I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. For real this time.” Tears well in my eyes. “I don’t understand why he’s being this way, and I’m tired of him hurting me. I need to accept that he just isn’t a good dad anymore.”
Mom reaches over to rest a hand on my knee. “You need to accept that you deserve better, Haley. If that’s what you want, I’ll make sure that any future phone calls come through me, okay? I don’t want you hurting either. I certainly don’t want you doing something stupid because you were upset. And it was the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”
“I know,” I interrupt weakly. She doesn’t have to kick me while I’m down.
She softens her voice, losing the touch of anger that was there a moment ago. “We’re not going to punish you. Walter and I discussed it and decided you getting hurt is enough. You will, however, need to get a part-time job if you want another car. I paid for your last one and I’m not going to pay for another one. Once we’re all feeling better, we’ll work out some sort of arrangement because it’ll be easier on everyone if you have your own car. I just wanted to let you know you’re going to have to work for it. Maybe Mrs. Elsie could use another waitress.”
A job? The window to see Keelan away from school seems to close more and more. Arguing isn’t an option though. I don’t want to fight with her, and it’s my fault I need another car anyway.
Everyone has heard about my accident by Monday morning. They probably knew yesterday, but one look at me spurs the conversations and whispers. Keelan carries my bag for me, for which I’m grateful. My body is still aching. I’m not sure I could handle a heavy bag on one shoulder for very long. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to get through this. One arm is completely out of commission because it’s broken.
I groan and wish I could sink into my seat when the morning announcements are done. Toward the end, the principal says, “On a more serious note, one of our students was in a car accident this weekend. We’re glad that Haley Summers is doing okay. Please remember to drive carefully and responsibly, kids.”
Why?
Why does that need to be part of the announcements? It’s embarrassing and makes it sound as if I’m a terrible, reckless driver. I guess I am reckless. That’s what my ticket says.
“Let me know if you need help with anything,” my teacher tells me before starting class.
I thank her and hope I won’t need any help. I don’t want this kind of attention. I don’t want to relive the wreck either. All day, it’s like any free moment that appears, someone is asking me what happened, wanting a play-by-play. How many times can I say I don’t want to talk about it before they stop asking me? At lunch, someone asks me and I’ve reached my limit.
“God, can’t y’all just leave me alone?” I snap. My head hurts worse than it did earlier. The constant noise of the cafeteria is making me wince and cringe.
“Are you okay, Haley?” Keelan asks me quietly, throwing me off when he says my real name.
“No!” I growl, thoroughly exasperated as I try my best to rub my temple with my good hand.
“Come on.”
Huffing, I glance over to see what he wants. He’s standing with my bag on his shoulder and his hand out for me to take. “What are we doing?”
“Taking you to the nurse.”
“Why?”
“Just come with me.”
Like I can truly resist him. I take his hand. The pounding in my head lessens a little the moment we step into the quiet, deserted hallway.
“I think you’re having some concussion symptoms. A guy on the team had one last year and he was moody and had problems with things being too bright and too loud. Maybe you should go home. I don’t know if it’ll make it worse or not,” Keelan tells me.
“Home sounds nice,” I agree.
When we get to the office, Keelan surprises me when he tells the receptionist, “Can she use the phone to call her mom to come pick her up?”
The lady eyes me with pity. “Not feeling well?”
“No.”
“I think it’s her concussion,” Keelan adds.
“You poor thing. The whole town has been talking about what happened. Here you go,” she finishes as she hands me the phone.
I dial my mother’s number and wait. When she doesn’t answer, it takes me a minute to remember Walter’s number. He answers on the fourth ring.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Haley.”
“What’s wrong?” he interrupts.
“Could you come pick me up? My head is really bothering me and Mom didn’t answer.”
“She’s asleep,” he explains. “Give me a few minutes to change and I’ll come get you.”
“Thanks, Walter.” I hang up and say, “My stepdad is coming to get me.”
“Okay. You can have a seat and wait here. Keelan, you should get back to lunch.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nods. “Text me later and let me know how you’re feeling.”
“I will.” He’s about to leave, but I grab his hand. “Thanks for being the best boyfriend.”
Keelan grins. He leans down to kiss my cheek. “You make it easy by being the best girlfriend,” he whispers.
Despite not feeling well, I smile until Walter comes to pick me up. The rest of the day is spent with Mom and Walter in their respective recliners, me on the couch, and us watching TV together with the volume low enough that it doesn’t bother me.
Dad may not be in my life, but it’s not like he is the only person I have. There’s Mom, Walter, Keelan, Jess, and even Keelan’s Mom. Maybe one day Dad will come around, but I’m not going to put myself in the position of letting him repeatedly hurt me. I have too much going on to deal with that too. There’s Keelan, the job I have to get, school, and soon, I’ll have to start thinking about colleges and my senior year.
I have people I can count on to help me. More importantly, I have people who treat me well. I’m surrounded by people who care about me and make an effort to be in my life.
That’s more than enough right now.
Keira: So...am I losing my brother? Natalie said you don’t want anything to do with us anymore.
I stare at my phone. It’s been one week since Haley’s accident and two weeks since I saw Natalie. She must’ve figured I’m not changing my mind and decided to tell Keira. What am I supposed to say to her?
“What is it, Keelan?”
I look up from my seat at the table at the sound of Mom’s voice. She’s cooking dinner. I’m supposed to be helping, but she told me to park it because I wasn’t being helpful.
“Kiera texted me,” I say before reading the text to her. “What am I supposed to tell her?”
“Is she losing her brother?”
“Not really. I never said I didn’t want anything to do with Keira. Just Natalie.”
“Then tell her what you want. If you want to still hang out with her and get to know her, then say so. Tell her you don’t get along with Natalie and just want to put some distance between you and Natalie, not between you and her.”
I nod even though she’s not looking at me. My thumbs fly over the keyboard as I type my reply.
Bending Under Pressure Page 25