"Because I asked," he said simply.
"I'll bet you're sorry you did that."
"Not at all. College must have been difficult. You were away from home, still grieving…"
"I was a mess. But I made some really good girlfriends freshman year, and I know that they're the reason I made it through those first two years. Holidays were hard, of course, but there was no home to go back to. My dad sold the house we were living in when my mom died, so I'd travel to wherever he was for Christmas or Thanksgiving. Sometimes, I just went home with friends." She licked her lips. "Which brings me around to why I really want my own house. I want a place where my family can gather and celebrate the holidays the way we used to when my mom was alive. I feel like I owe it to her to try to bring everyone back together. I think she would hate that we're so spread apart and disconnected."
"I understand. I hope you get what you want, and I hope…" His voice drifted away.
"What?" she asked curiously.
He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"You were going to say something—just say it."
He met her gaze. "Sometimes what you think you want, what you think you should have, is not what you really need."
She stared back at him, her brows drawing together. "Are we talking about me or you?"
He tipped his head. "You're quick. I need to remember that."
"And you've dodged the question, Cole."
"Maybe I was talking more about me," he conceded. "From the day I graduated college until two years ago I went head down, pedal to the metal, chasing what I thought I wanted. It turned out it was a huge mistake."
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"Because in the end, none of it mattered."
"Are you at the end, Cole? You're not that much older than me. Thirty-one, thirty-four?"
"Thirty-two."
"You have a lot of life ahead of you before you get to the end. Maybe it's too soon to make judgments."
"I could say the same for you, Maggie. You act like buying your house is the end of your lifelong dream. Is there going to be another dream for you?"
"I'll figure that out after I get this one. What about you? What's your dream now?"
"I'm living my dream. I do what I want, go where I want, and I have absolute and total freedom. I have no one to account to except myself."
"Well, I hope that in the end," she said pointedly, "you'll be happy that you chose freedom over everything else."
He smiled. "I hope so, too. But right now I think we should stop worrying about the future and enjoy our breakfast." He sat back as the waiter set down their eggs and waffles.
Her stomach grumbled with delight. "That sounds like a good plan."
Chapter Four
Over breakfast, Maggie steered the conversation away from personal topics. She couldn't quite believe she'd told Cole so much about her mom and her childhood. She couldn't remember the last time she'd discussed her mother with anyone, much less a man she'd met the day before.
She had to admit Cole was a good listener, which was probably why she'd rambled on. It had been a nice change of pace to be with a man who seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say, but she was a little embarrassed by how much she'd shared. Thankfully, Cole was happy to go along with new topics and after they left the café she showed him around the downtown area, pointing out the historic buildings and the new businesses that were bringing more tourists into town. While Napa was known for its valley of wineries, the city offered a multitude of art galleries, and restaurants offering everything from organic vegan to fine dining with celebrity chefs. The city also had a plethora of clothing boutiques, both vintage and upscale, jewelry stores featuring local artists, and one of the best homemade ice-cream parlors in the county.
She finished their tour at a small park along the river. The sun had risen higher in the sky and was warming up the crisp air. She pulled off her sweater and tied it around her waist as she and Cole sat down on a bench overlooking the water.
"This is nice," he commented.
"It's one of my favorite spots," she agreed. "The river feels calming. I take a lot of walks along the water."
"I usually prefer to jog than to walk."
"You're a runner?"
"Three to four times a week," he said. "What about you?"
"No," she said with a shake of her head. "Running is not my thing. I will get on the elliptical at the gym but only if I have music in my ears or a TV to watch."
He smiled. "And I thought you were a woman who liked nature."
"For a walk or a drive or even a bike ride, but not a run. That's way too much work, and I spend so much time thinking about how far I have to go before I can stop that I don't enjoy it at all."
"Running can be mental as well as physical. For me, there's nothing better than running toward something new and exciting."
"I'm beginning to sense a trend with you, Cole. You quit your job. You travel. You like to run. Are you really running toward something? Or are you running away from something?"
He turned his head to look at her, a somber glint in his dark eyes. "Maybe both."
She was intrigued by his answer and wanted to hear more, but he didn't seem inclined to expand on the subject. Instead, he said, "Tell me about the wineries."
"Well, what do you want to know?" she countered. "There are about four hundred wineries in Napa."
He raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"Wine is Napa's very serious business. You should go to some of the more interesting wineries while you're here. Your aunt buys wine for the hotel from several of the local vineyards."
"I was planning on doing some wine tasting tomorrow."
"I'd start early and make a day of it. I can give you some recommendations on good wineries to visit, not just for the wine, but also for the atmosphere, the cool wine cellars, and beautiful hillside vineyards."
"So you've been to a lot of wineries?"
"Not all four hundred," she said with a laugh. "But I've been to least a dozen."
"It sounds like you would make the perfect guide."
"I'm sure your aunt would like to spend time with you, and she would definitely be the perfect guide."
"Unfortunately, she seems to be tied up this weekend. She told me earlier that I probably wouldn't see much of her until next week."
She nodded. "I know that several of her friends are involved with the convention going on this weekend. I'm surprised she didn't tell you about it so you could coordinate your travel."
"My fault more than hers. I wasn't clear on what date I'd be arriving until about three days ago." He uncrossed his arms, putting one along the back of the bench behind her head as he shifted to face her. "I have an idea."
Judging by the mischievous gleam in his gaze, she didn't think it was going to be a good one. "What's that?"
"You could give me a tour of the wineries tomorrow—unless you're working?"
"I'm actually off tomorrow," she admitted.
"Then you're free."
"I didn't say I was free. I do have a life. I have things to do. I usually run errands on my day off."
"Errands don't sound as fun as wine tasting. And just think, you'd be doing my aunt a big favor."
"I already did her a favor by having breakfast with you."
He smiled. "True, but you'd earn even more points by showing me around the valley."
Remembering her conversation with Ida Stratton, she had a feeling he was right. Mrs. Stratton had asked her to help entertain her nephew. If Cole hadn't been a sexy bad boy who could kiss like the devil, would she be hesitating at all? Probably not.
"All right," she said, pushing away the last of her doubts. It might be a bad idea to spend more time with Cole. On the other hand, she could use Mrs. Stratton on her side in case her boss went even more psycho in his micromanagement. "I'll go with you."
"Great."
"It's too bad you weren't here last month for the annual crush of the grapes. Maybe next
year."
"Maybe. Who knows where I'll be next September? I could be anywhere."
His freedom-loving lifestyle had some appeal, but it wasn't for her. She didn't need to travel; she'd already lived in far too many places. Freedom for her meant being able to stay in one place.
"We have one thing in common," she said.
He shot her a curious look. "We do? What's that?"
"We're both going after our dreams, putting ourselves first."
"That's true." He gave her a speculative look. "Tell me something—why don't you have a man in your life?"
She smiled. "Let's see. I name my ridiculously large pumpkins, I make poisonous apple pies, and I want to live in a little house for the rest of my life. I'm boring as hell. Most nights I'm in bed by ten. You think men are lining up for that?"
He grinned. "I don't think you're boring, Maggie. You're—unique."
"Unique, huh? I guess I've heard worse."
"In a good way. And you're a beautiful woman. I don't think you'll scare anyone away with Henry or a bad pie."
She self-consciously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as his gaze rested on her face, the expression in his eyes way too full of male appreciation, the kind of regard that made goose bumps run down her arms. "I'm not interested in a relationship right now," she said, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. "I have other goals that are more pressing."
"Like your house."
"Like my house," she agreed. "I've seen a lot of my friends fall in love over the past year, and while it's awesome and I'd love to find that kind of connection with someone, in reality I'm still trying to find myself."
He nodded thoughtfully. "That's smart, Maggie. Most people don't think that way; I know I didn't."
"You didn't?"
He frowned, as if he suddenly realized he'd slipped up.
"Okay, who was she?" Maggie asked. "What was her name? And don’t try to tell me there's no one, because I don't think you changed your whole life around without a woman being somewhere in the mix."
He stared back at her. "You're right. There was a woman. Her name was—is—Carole. We met in grad school at UCLA. I was getting an MBA in business, and so was she. We had so much in common back then. It seemed like we were on exactly the same page. I was a year ahead of Carole and after I got my degree, I asked her to marry me. She said yes and the next thing I knew she was dropping out of school to plan the wedding, and I was hired by her father to work in his investment firm."
She was surprised by just about everything he'd said. "You have a master's degree in business administration?"
He nodded. "Yep."
"And you got married when you were…"
"Twenty-six. Old enough to know better. Young enough to still be a little stupid."
"So what happened?"
"The wedding took a year to plan. During that time I worked a million hours. We thought once we got married and got settled, we'd spend more time together. But then there was a house to buy. Carole wanted to live in the same neighborhood as her parents, and they were rich. They wanted to help us, but my pride wouldn't allow them to pay for everything, so I said I'd find a way to pay for half, which meant I worked more hours. We got the house, and Carole instantly decided to remodel and redecorate, which took another year of our lives." He paused. "Three years into the marriage we finally had time to look at each other, and we didn't even recognize ourselves. But we did know one thing—we weren't happy."
"So you got a divorce?"
"Yes, our marriage came to an official end a few days before what would have been our fourth wedding anniversary. I quit my job the same day. It was a hell of a day."
She gave him a compassionate smile, seeing the pain in his eyes. "I can't even imagine."
"The end was actually easier than all the rest of it, because I was done, because I realized I'd been living someone else's life, someone else's dream. I'd lost myself in a relationship and a marriage that wasn't right for either party. I'm glad Carole found someone she could be happy with."
"Maybe you will, too."
"Possibly, but I'm not in a hurry. I like my life where it is now. I'm free."
"You've always been free to make your own choices. You just made bad choices," she couldn't help pointing out.
He tipped his head to her point. "That's true. I realized that on a road somewhere in South America about four months ago. I can't regret the choices I made, and I can't look back. So I look forward and I try to make better decisions."
She nodded. "I now understand why you've been so scornful of my desire to own a house. I must remind you of your wife."
"Actually, you are nothing like Carole," he said with a smile. "Except for your desire to own a home. But she didn't want just a house; she wanted a mansion. She wanted the country-club lifestyle of her parents, and I never wanted that."
"Neither do I. I'd be super happy with my charming, rustic, two-bedroom house with the big garden."
"It's still a house, Maggie. It can still weigh you down."
"I'd relish that weight."
"You say that now, and you may think having a house will be the answer to all your problems and the realization of all your dreams, but in reality it's just a building. It's not going to change your childhood."
"It doesn't have to change the past—just the future."
"Well, I hope you get what you want."
"I will. I'm determined."
"I can see that," he said with a warm smile.
"So would you ever get married again, Cole?"
"I don't know. I don't think about it."
"Don't you want to have kids someday?"
"Kids need roots, as you've so recently reminded me; I travel light these days."
"You might get tired of that."
"I doubt it."
She wondered about that. "My grandmother used to say that you can lock up the barn after the horse runs away, but your horse is still gone."
He laughed. "Okay. I think I get what you mean, but I prefer to think of myself as being the runaway horse and not the person locking the barn door a little too late."
"I'm just saying maybe you're overreacting a little, throwing out everything instead of just cutting out the problem parts of your life. You were in grad school before you met Carole. You must have had your own business dreams."
"I did, but the reality of those dreams didn't turn out to be what I wanted. And you should ask yourself the same question. Are you overreacting to your past, trying to force a future that you're not ready for? Why not wait until you get married and have kids before tying yourself to a mortgage?"
"Because I have an opportunity now, and sometimes when a door opens, you have to go in, because it may not open again."
"Well, I know better than anyone that I can't talk people out of what they want to do, so I wish you luck, Maggie."
"Thank you. I wish you luck, too. But I do have a question."
"Another one?"
"Yes. You're Ida Stratton's nephew, and I know a little about the Stratton family. Ida's parents started a hotel chain sixty years ago and Ida and her six siblings now overseen a dozen hotels around the world. You didn't grow up poor. I'm guessing that you come from money, too. Was it really just Carole who wanted the country-club life?"
"I did not grow up with money. My mother was the black sheep of the Stratton family. There were seven siblings in my mother's generation, five brothers and two sisters. My mom was the youngest and the most rebellious. She had a falling out with my grandfather when she married my dad—a man my grandfather did not approve of."
"Why not? Was he a bad boy biker, too?" she teased.
He grinned. "He didn't like motorcycles, but he played guitar in a band and picked up odd jobs on the side to fuel his love of music. He wasn't ambitious or driven, and he came from absolutely no money. My grandfather thought he was a gold digger and told my mom he would cut her off if she married my father. My mother doesn't respond well to ultimatums. S
he said she didn't care about the Stratton money or the family business. She married my dad, moved across the country from her family, and I grew up without any relatives for a very long time. Eventually, when I was probably around ten or so, some of my mother's siblings, including Ida, came around, and they made up, but my mother was still out of the business."
"Where do your parents live now?"
"Los Angeles. My dad teaches music. My mother sells real estate. They're happy as can be. I will admit that I did want to make a better life for myself than the one I grew up in which is why I went to business school. But apparently there's more of my rebellious mother and dreamer father in me than I realized."
"You didn't have any siblings?"
"No. My mom said I was the miracle child. Apparently she had trouble getting pregnant."
"So you grew up the adored only miracle child," she said dryly. "That explains a lot."
He smiled. "You think I'm entitled?"
"Yes. I think you're used to being the center of attention. That's why you kissed me yesterday. You knew the impression you were making in the hotel, and you wanted to make the light on you just a little brighter."
His grin broadened as a sparkle ran through his eyes. "Maybe I was just really attracted to you."
"I don't think so," she said, wishing now that she hadn't brought that kiss up again.
"Are you sure about that? Because I can feel the electricity between us right now. And I'm betting you can, too, Maggie." His hand drifted from the back of the bench to her shoulder, and she felt a wave of heat run through her. That heat got a little hotter as his fingers teased the curve of her neck, as he slid down the bench so his thigh was against hers.
She didn't want to admit the attraction, but judging by the knowing gleam in his eyes, he'd know she was lying.
"Even if there is a little chemistry between us," she said, "I wouldn't act on it."
Falling Into You (Bachelors & Bridesmaids Book 5) Page 4