by Nicole Fox
I dialed her up. It had been a couple of days since she’d called me after getting this new number. It would be a welcome surprise to her that I was calling her this time. As usual, it didn’t take long for her to pick up.
“Ember! What a nice surprise. Or—did something happen? Are you all right—”
“I’m fine, Mama.” In a manner of speaking. “I just wanted to call you and talk. Catch up.”
“Oh, well, there’s not been a lot that’s gone on the last two days. The boys are busy with work as usual and I’m in between shifts right now. Why, is there anything to catch up on?”
“Um … Actually, yeah.” I toyed a little with the blonde wig hair. I missed the feel of my own hair, and the synthetic wasn’t quite the comfort that twirling my own was, but I was making due with what I had, after all. “Mom, what was it like when you found out you were pregnant with me?”
“Huh? Oh. Hm.” I knew my question must have thrown her off. “Well, I was scared, of course,” she said. “I was very young, and your father and I weren’t married yet at the time. And while it wasn’t a big deal—well, it was a big deal. Your father was already working and out of high school but I was still in my senior year. Your grandparents weren’t very happy about it—but honestly, as scary as it was, it was excited.”
“You were?”
“Of course. There was a new life growing inside me. I was going to be a mother. It would be hard, hard work—it always is—but I was happy to take the responsibility.”
“And with the boys? Cameron, Jeremy, Felix? What was it like with them?”
“Oh, well. There was a little more fear with each of them. I had learned that motherhood was hard work, but also that it wasn’t easy, you know, with money. Just having a baby …” She sighed. “But I’ve never regretted having any of you, you know. I loved having each of you. I only worried I wouldn’t be able to, you know. Be a proper mother and provide for the four of you kids. Ember, dear, why are you asking, though?”
I sighed, and took a drink of my mocha. How did I answer that one?
Oh, you know, I just got knocked up by a biker, maybe.
“Dear? Are you … are you pregnant?”
I took a deep breath.
“I—I might be. I haven’t taken the tests yet. But I’m pretty sure that if I’m not, my period has a lot to answer for, I’m just saying.”
“Oh, honey. How are you feeling? Are you sick, scared? Have you—have told the boy? Wheeler?”
“I’m not—I’m not really scared. I’m waiting to figure out if I’m actually pregnant before I commit to freaking out, but I guess … I’m not upset? And, God, no, I haven’t told Wheeler yet. He’s got so much going on right now, you know? I don’t want to burden him.”
My mother chuckled.
“You’re just like I was. I didn’t tell your father until I was a good few weeks in. He was shocked, I’ll tell you that. I spent so much time avoiding him so I wouldn’t blab to him, he thought that I was cheating on him! He was quite shocked when I told him the truth of it, though. That poor man.
I laughed.
“Well, I don’t think cheating is going to come up. I just don’t know how to bring it up. If they’re like that.”
“Just be honest with him. That’s all you can be, honey. Open and honest. The rest of it all will fall into place where it needs to, you know?”
“Yeah, I know, Mama.”
“Now. With everything that’s going on, if those tests are positive … will you be able to take care of the baby? Will Wheeler? You’ve been helping out a lot since you joined that fire dancing troupe, but with the ways things are now, you’re not going to be doing that for a while.”
“I know. I think—I think I can figure something out,” I said. “This chapter of the Sons, where we’re staying right now? They offered Wheeler and me a place here, in case things don’t work out well, you know? So I have options.”
“That’s good, that’s good … You know, Ember. You’re always welcome to come back here, too. Always.”
“I know, Mama. I couldn’t imagine burdening you like that though.” That was the last thing that I wanted to do to my mother.
“Honey, it would never be a burden. Besides, you’re telling me you would deny me the right to cuddle and spoil my grandchildren as much as possible?”
“Okay, okay, that’s fair.”
She chuckled. “You’re right it is. Now … as for Wheeler … Honey, do you want this to be a permanent thing? Children or not? If you’ve been with him for such a short amount of time, and you’re already pregnant—”
“Having sex doesn’t mean I want to marry someone Mama—hold on.”
Marie came over with my cherry Danish. I thanked her, ordered a second mocha, and went back to talking quietly with my mother.
“Having sex doesn’t—”
“I know what it does and doesn’t mean. I was a young’un once too, you know! What I mean is, the last time I asked about him, you said that you thought you liked him, honey. And I can hear it in your voice when you talk about him. When I ask about him and you give me that little sigh and eyeroll—”
“You can’t see if I’m rolling my eyes from all the way over there—”
“A mother knows, Ember. Anyway, you give yourself away so easily, I don’t see why you’re trying to play coy with me. Tell me. Do you want him? Long term? As a family?”
I thought about it. I hadn’t thought that … perhaps the reason that I hadn’t begun freaking out yet was because this was something that I wanted as opposed to something that was going to end up getting in my way.
“I think … I do. It’s crazy to say it Mama, but yeah. I really like him. I think I could—”
“Fall in love with him? You say that as if you haven’t already.”
“It’s barely been a month, Mama!”
“So? Love works in mysterious ways, my dear.” I could practically see the warm smile that she would be giving me if she were speaking to me right now. “Just let things happen. Don’t stress it too much. Let me know if and when I’m going to be a grandmother, all right?”
“All right, I will. Tell the boys and daddy that I love them and I’m thinking about them.”
“I will, honey. You’ll get through all this. You’re strong. Love you.”
“Love you too, Mama.”
I drew in a breath. Boy oh boy. I sure was in for the ride of my life.
I finished up at the café and left, deciding to do some walking through San Diego before Wheeler picked me up. I was passing by a clothing store when my phone buzzed.
Wheeler: Hey, you ready?
EA: Yeah, I’m ready. You want the address? I’ll stay put so you don’t have to hunt for me.
Wheeler: You say that as if I wouldn’t love to hunt you down, pretty ;)
Wheeler: But yeah. Send over the address.
I did.
Wheeler: Fancy. I’ll be there in ten.
I decided to walk around the clothing store and wait for Wheeler that way. The clothes weren’t really my speed—high end stuff that rich people wore, really—but it didn’t hurt to look around and pretend like I had business there. I knew Wheeler was here when a deep rev sounded outside the store, and I looked out the window, seeing Wheeler sitting atop his bike. He grinned at me through the window and I trekked outside.
“You look mighty fine today, pretty lady,” he said.
“You saw me when you dropped me off.” I slid onto the back of his bike, wrapping around him instantly—a little tighter than usual, just for security.
He patted my hand.
“Yeah, and you just got prettier in the time that I was gone. Come on. I wanna take you somewhere.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You’ve never been to the beach here, have you? It’s great. We’ll stop back by the club and we can get some more appropriate clothing on. What do you say?”
“I say amen to that.”
Chapter Fifteen Ember
The ride back to the club didn’t take too long. I was happy to be back, happy to go out with Wheeler—but was reminded of the secret that I still held.
“So, I figured we’d go out to the beach for a little fun in the sun, yeah? There’s a beachside grill; we don’t even have to put on regular clothes to go in, sit down, and eat.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I should take the tests before we went out. Just so I knew. What if there were drinks at the grill? I couldn’t drink those if I was pregnant. Right? Was there a time limit on these things?
“Ember?”
“Sorry, a little distracted by the thought of beach and grill. I could kill for some ribs right now.”
“Well, they serve some of the best ribs this side of the country! Let’s get a move on!”
He smacked my ass playfully, and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. I kept my purse close and followed him to the room we were sharing at the San Diego chapter club. I rummaged in my drawers, looking for the perfect thing to wear. Among the clothes that Wheeler had bought me, bathing suits were a part of the mix. I had a few to choose from and settled on a one-piece—fiery red and strappy. I gathered it and my towel and moved to the bathroom.
“Why’re you changing in there? You’re not shy, are you?” Wheeler asked, teasing me further. I stuck my tongue out at him.
“I need to use the bathroom, and besides, if I change out here, we’ll never get to the beach—you’re a pervert and you can’t keep your hands to yourself!”
He laughed at me, but didn’t dispute it. All the wild sex we’d been having was enough to prove that I was right and he was wrong, and there was no if, ands, or buts about it!
But the teasing done and the bathroom door closed, I sobered up a little more.
I was in the bathroom now with that pretty strappy one-piece in one hand and my purse in the other. With a deep breath, I set the bathing suit off to the side and opened up my purse, taking out the tests. I set both of them on the counter and looked down at them.
It was like they were making fun of me.
Okay, that was silly. But it was a little intimidating having them on the counter like that, and having yet to pee on them.
“They’re just little sticks,” I told myself. “Remember what Mama said …”
I took the first one in hand, sat on the toilet, and did my business, trying not to get pee on myself. I managed that one great feat, and then moved on to the next test. Did my business. Set them on the counter to … cook or ferment or whatever.
I realized that it would do me no good to just stare at it, as though staring was going to make the tests finish processing any faster. I went ahead and got undressed and into my bathing suit. After that, I paced. Then I sat on the toilet seat. Anything and everything to occupy my time.
Good God, I was going to drive myself insane and I hadn’t even gotten a damn result back yet!
“Hey, Ember, what’s taking so long? You fall into the toilet or something?” Wheeler called, making me jump a little. Goddamn. “You’re on your own if that’s the case; that’s not my area of expertise!” he joked.
Ever the kidder.
“I’m intentionally taking my sweet ass time just to make you wait,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out in a minute. I’m just making sure I look nice.”
“You always look nice. I’ll be waiting. Don’t take too long!”
I couldn’t help but smile, even though I was about to get information that would either make life harder or infinitely easier.
I was greeted by a beep.
And then another.
My heart jumped. They were ready!
I jumped up from my place on the toilet and went over to the sink where the tests were, right where I left them. I took in another deep breath and picked up the first one.
It had a tiny pink plus sign.
Oh my God.
I scrambled and grabbed for the second one.
Pregnant.
They were both positive. Both of them. I was … I was pregnant!
There was an overwhelming sensation that went through me that was simultaneously elated and shocked to high heaven. I had to hold back a whoop that threatened to escape my lips. I couldn’t believe this. My suspicions had been right.
I was going to be a mother.
Wheeler was the father of my child.
I ran a hand through my hair. Oh my God. This was really happening. I had really gotten pregnant and I was really going to have a baby. The timing was … well, it was awful. I had to be honest. It was bad, bad timing.
Yet somehow it felt so right.
I couldn’t tell Wheeler … not just yet. Not with everything going on. It would be a distraction and I needed to get my head a little more screwed on and sane but—
I was going to be a mother.
“Hey, Ember, seriously, you okay in there?”
“Yeah!” I yelled. Quickly, I tossed both of the tests and their instruction sheets back into my purse. As odd as it probably was (I had peed on both of those, after all …) I didn’t really care. Not a lot. Those were the proof that I was about to be a mother. I couldn’t be bothered with how gross it was going to end up being.
Now we just had to get through all this shit.
Composing myself, I finally left the bathroom. Wheeler was sitting on the bed, waiting for me.
“Well, it’s about time, princess,” he said. He was smiling, though. I went up to him and kissed him, deep. I think it caught him off guard.
“Oh wow, what was that for?”
“Oh, nothing. Don’t we have a beach to get to?”
Chapter Sixteen Wheeler
The beaches in San Diego were, in a few words? Some of the best in the damn world. I was convinced of that. They were even more beautiful when Ember was at them, with the yellow-pink sunset fading out behind her while she walked along the edge of the beach.
I was coming to the conclusion that I was falling for her. She had seemed like she was distracted before we came here, but watching her walk along the very edge of the water, and then playfully step back as the waves started to crash up on the shoreline, my heart melted, and I was glad to see that whatever it was that had troubled her was no more.
She’s so damn beautiful.
An angel.
I need to keep her.
The things with the MC weren’t looking … terrible. They weren’t looking good, either. We were just barely staving off the heat, from the minimal reports I’d gotten out of Leech. They were becoming less and less frequent. I wasn’t even able to get a hold of Bones or Elise properly anymore, either. I knew that Leech had something to do with it, but I couldn’t do a lot while I was here, and I wasn’t ready to leave Ember here.
I didn’t know how I was going to tell her that when I went back I wouldn’t be taking her with me, but I would be back for her.
So that counted for something.
Right?
It has to , I told myself.
I walked up to her. We had trekked down the beach a good ways from where I’d parked. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. She relaxed back against me. I smiled.
“You’re having a good time?” I asked.
“The best,” she said. “I’ve never been to the beach here before. It’s gorgeous.”
“You’re gorgeous.” I hadn’t realized that I had said it aloud until she smacked me on the arm.
“You hush,” she said.
I leaned around to look at her face.
Yep, there was a blush there. I had fallen in love with those.
“Now, why would I do that when it’s the truth?” I asked. “Just because you can’t take the truth.”
“I can totally take the truth,” she said. She stuck her tongue out at me. Before she could react, I wheeled her around and pulled her close. I leaned down and kissed her without hesitation. She tasted good and felt good. I couldn’t get enough of her.
I wasn’t really one for romance, but there was
something about kissing this girl on the beach. We had managed to find a pretty secluded spot, which was a surprise in and of itself; it was San Diego, after all.
I counted myself lucky. Ember wrapped her arms around me, moaning a little as I continued to kiss her. Her fingers tightened in my hair.
“Mmm …”