by Sofia Grey
I thought back to all the phone calls, the skype sessions. “You never said he was ill. You didn’t tell me.”
“No sense in you rushing home.” Dad ruffled my hair. “It was your time to spread your wings. You’re back now, and he’s still here.”
I buried my face in Charlie’s ruff. Dad was right, but it nagged at me. What else had changed while I was away?
****
After dinner, I headed for the pub to catch up with my friends. Becca’s parents owned the Bluebell, at the end of the street, and she’d spent as much time there as I’d spent in Dad’s shop. As soon as I walked in, she ran to me and squealed in delight, abandoning the pint she’d been pulling. It felt good to sit down at our usual table with Becca, Clare and Neil.
I smiled at my friends. We’d been in a group on the first day of primary school, and had stuck together. Clare and Neil had been a couple since they were thirteen, and they were all like the siblings I’d never had.
“It’s great to have you home again, Jess.” Becca touched my arm. “Your face is so tanned. Are you like that all over?”
“It was the middle of summer in New Zealand. I wore shorts and T-shirts most of the time.” I was glad of my thick fleece jacket now though, the change in seasons was as difficult to adjust to as the jet lag.
“Uh oh. Don’t look right.” Clare leaned into me and murmured in a low voice. “We have company.”
“Well, the wanderer returns at last.” I glanced up from my drink to see Jack Harper, with his usual wingman, Toby. Jack’s blue eyes were dull compared to Levi’s, but his smile was as confident. And what was I doing thinking about Levi? He wasn’t real.
“Mind if we join you?” Jack tugged a chair to the table and sat, without waiting for an answer, claiming the space next to me.
Toby grabbed another chair, but hesitated when the only space left was next to Becca. She glared at him, but scraped her seat across the floor to make a little more room, before turning back to Neil. I was aware of the body language byplay from my best friend, but most of my attention was on Jack, the object of my lust for so long.
My hair was short now, I’d shed loads of weight while travelling, and I knew I looked my best. Would he finally see me?
Maybe yes. “Looking good, Jess. Welcome home.” He took a swig of his bottled beer and grinned across the table at Toby, sitting stiff-backed next to Becca. “There’s been some changes while you’ve been away.” His voice was for me alone. “I can bring you up to speed later, if you like?”
This was unprecedented. I fought to keep the smile from my face, to play it cool. “Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“I’ve got tickets to the opening of a new club in town. Tomorrow night, you and me. What do you say?”
Chapter Nine
Jack didn’t stay long in the pub, and I was still suffering from jetlag, and longing for my bed. A few hours later, when I finally sank into sleep, it was no surprise to find myself with Levi again. A lazy grin lit up his face when he saw me, and he patted the space next to him on the bench. I didn’t have the energy to resist. It seemed entirely natural for his arm to drape around my shoulders, and for me to lean into him, my head nestling into the crook of his neck.
After a moment’s hesitation, I rested one hand on his cobble-like abs. His chest was equally hard and muscled, and it should have been impossible to find comfort lying on him. Apart from his T-shirt, he wasn’t soft anywhere. It felt right though, and when his fingers curled over my arm, pulling me closer, I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding.
I felt comfortable with Levi. Safe.
“What did you do tonight? Anything fun?” A hint of minty breath washed over me when he spoke.
“Dinner with my folks, then the pub with my friends.” I smiled, remembering Becca’s awkwardness. If I didn’t know her better, I’d think she had a thing for Toby. “Jack was there. He’s asked me to a club tomorrow night.”
Levi’s arm tightened a fraction. “You going?”
“What do you think? And besides. I haven’t been clubbing for ages.”
“Uh huh. Did you go to Mighty Mike’s while you were in Wellington?”
I frowned. The name was familiar. “Don’t think so. What’s it like?”
“As long as you don’t go to sleep on me, I can take you there now. Wanna go?”
I forced my drooping eyelids open, and sat up a little. “Sure.”
The world changed. From a brightly lit shopping mall to a dark cave in the blink of an eye. The noise. Fast, furious and energized, rock guitars and a wailing singer filled my eardrums. Rainbow-coloured strobe lights flashed and darted, and strange fragrances assaulted me. Sweet, like cannabis, but more potent, the smell made the blood zing in my veins.
“Wanna dance?” Levi’s lips brushed my ear, and I nodded. We’d materialized on a handkerchief of a dance floor, already crowded with other rockers, but a space opened up, and we moved closer to the band. The lead singer tossed his mane of white-blond hair in time to his guitar riffs, and fascinated, I watched.
Levi took a position behind me, his arms around my waist, his chin on my shoulder. “Fuckin’ love this song.” His voice rumbled into my ear and we began to move to the rhythm.
I’d never danced quite like this before. Slow dancing with a guy was completely different. This was vigorous, sweaty and oh-my-god sexy. The bass beat echoed through my blood, the drum pounding a tattoo inside my head. I rubbed shamelessly against Levi’s hard body and felt his even harder erection bumping my ass.
I knew if I turned around, I could kiss him again. I’d been scorched by him last time; I’d be incinerated if we kissed again. It would be worth it.
The music slowed, the heady swirl gentling to an almost-ballad, and Levi held me close, hot breath on my neck and his teeth nibbling my earlobe. The rush of damp in my panties was unbidden. I’d never been so turned on. Was it something in the atmosphere? The cannabis-like smell? Or just the enticing combination of pumping rock music and the hottest guy I’d ever met?
Levi slid one hand beneath my shirt, his fingertips searing my stomach. If he hadn’t been holding me, I’d have fallen to the floor. “I want you, Jess.” His hand dipped beneath the waistband of my jeans, confident and utterly possessive. His words intoxicating. “If we weren’t surrounded by a crowd of people, I’d show you just how much.”
I wanted to play, to tease him back, and so I ground against his hard-on, enjoying his groan as it vibrated through me. “Is that right? What do you think I’d let you do?”
His voice was a growl in my ear. “I’d pop the button on your jeans.” His thumb flicked at the metal fastening. “Slide down the zip, one tooth at a time.” I bucked against his hand, my hips taking a mind of their own. In response, he slid his other hand to cup my suddenly aching breast. Both nipples firmed at the touch, both wanting attention.
I gasped, but then found my voice. “And then? How far would you go?”
“You wanna play with a wolf, baby? We play hard.” Wolf? Was he in a gang? He continued, before I had time to process my thoughts. “Then, Jess, I’d slide my hand into your panties and finger you until you came apart in my arms.”
A cascade of erotic images flooded my mind. I’d no doubt he could do that. I knew I’d let him. Here, on a busy dance floor, in downtown Wellington…Hang on. This was just a dream.
I’d been so wrapped up in his words, his touch, I’d forgotten he didn’t exist outside my imagination. Disappointment lined my mouth with a bitter taste.
As though he recognised my confusion, Levi spun me to face him, and cupped my cheeks with both hands. The blue eyes seemed to glow in the dim lighting, and I stared, fascinated. “Before all that, I’d kiss you senseless.”
The kiss was hard, dominant, and confident. I hung onto him for dear life, unable to think of anything but his lips and tongue, the hands gently holding my face. The utter possession of his moves.
When he lifted his head, I whimpered, bereft at t
he loss of contact. “When you go dancing with your boy tomorrow, remember how you danced with me, how I made you melt. You’re mine, Jess.”
Chapter Ten
Another club. More swirling, blindingly-bright strobes that swept across a packed dance floor. Techno beats this time, skinny girls wearing very little, and a different guy at my side.
I wondered if Mighty Mike’s was anything like I’d dreamed. It was certainly nothing like Sx2, where I was now. This place was huge. Oceans of space for dancing, long polished steel counters, and a bar that ran the length of one wall, it gleamed and shone, and screamed exclusive. I’d already seen three TV celebrities and a clutch of pop stars.
“How did you get tickets to the opening night?” I had to shout for Jack to hear me, and he obligingly slithered closer on the padded bench seat.
“I know the owners. They gave me a couple of comps.” His smile was white and predatory. It reminded me of a shark, zooming in on its prey. I had to wonder. If I’d said no, or hadn’t seen him in the pub at all, who would he have taken instead? I shook the thought away. I was here now, I’d enjoy it.
Another couple came to sit on our bench, pushing us even closer together, and I felt uncomfortable. I hadn’t seen Jack for a year, had barely spoken to him before that. I wasn’t ready to sit in his lap. I stood up, and gestured toward the crowd on the floor. “Should we?”
“Damn right.” He grabbed my hand and led me to the centre of the throng. There was no room to dance, and two people had already trodden on my toes on the way. Jack didn’t seem bothered. He dropped his hands to my hips and began to sway to the beat, inviting me to move with him.
This was what I’d longed for so many times. A chance for Jack to notice me. So why didn’t I feel more excited? He was handsome in a sharp-suited, clean fashion, his short hair precision cut, and trendy clothes immaculate. The cool boy from school had grown into a hungry real estate agent, his fingers in dozens of money-making pies—and my dad’s shop was one of them.
Over dinner tonight, my parents had been pleased to hear I was going out with Jack. “Morgan’s is going to be yours one day, Jess.” Dad spoke slowly, his voice serious. “And with the economy the way it is, having Harper’s money on your side wouldn’t hurt.”
“Dad.” I couldn’t help laughing. “We’re just going to a club. Nothing more.”
Mum flashed a smile at me. “I met your Dad in a club. I was on holiday in Wales, camping in Snowdonia with my friends from school, and this handsome young buck wouldn’t leave me alone. He even followed me back to Manchester and insisted I marry him.”
I’d heard the story a dozen times before, but this time, something had jolted my attention. Someone else had mentioned Snowdonia. Levi.
Caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t object when Jack turned me in his arms, to stand at my back. Maybe I should have. “Relax, baby,” he crooned in my ear. “You’re so hot. I can’t keep my hands off you.”
When Jack bumped against my ass, his hands gliding down to rest on my thighs, it felt wrong.
This was how I’d danced with Levi.
In my imagination.
Levi didn’t exist, but Jack did.
I wriggled free and turned to face him again, a gap between us. The music was far too loud to permit any conversation, and so I gestured toward the bar. He nodded, and followed me off the floor. Our miniscule space was swallowed up instantly by other partygoers.
The drinks were ridiculously expensive, and made more than a dent in my bank balance, but I didn’t want to be beholden to Jack. It was also quiet enough here to be able to talk, to some degree at least. I chinked our bottles together and pasted on a smile.
“Why do you want to buy my dad’s shop?”
Jack ran a hand through his hair, mussing the front of it. It made him look like a mischievous child. “I’ve a buyer interested.” The shark smile returned. “I heard your dad is thinking of retiring soon, so it’d make sense to quit now, rather than losing this investment opportunity.”
Retiring? That was news to me. “You might have heard wrong. Now I’ve got my business diploma, I’ll be working for Dad. We’ve got plans to expand.” I hadn’t actually shared my plans yet, and they were still vague, but I wanted to quash any rumours of him retiring. That made him sound old.
Jack eased nearer, invading my space again. “Maybe we should compare notes.”
“Maybe.” I took a gulp of my beer. “Who’s your buyer?”
He shook his head. “Sorry, baby. That’s privileged information.” His gaze dropped to my chest and then back up to my face.
Heat filled my cheeks and I was consumed with the urge to pour my drink on his head. I was fed up of being groped and eye-fucked by him, and the night had only just started.
All these years I’d lusted after Jack. What a waste. I wanted someone like Levi.
I want Levi.
When my phone vibrated in my pocket, I was glad of the distraction, but the text message from Mum, filled me with dread.
Charlie not well. On our way to Emergency vet. Pls call when you get this message.
I had to get out of the club. Abandoning my beer on the bar top, I grabbed Jack’s arm and tugged him toward the cloakroom. It would be freezing outside, and I’d need my coat, so while I lined up to collect it, I phoned Mum. It dropped to voicemail. I rang Dad, and the same happened.
Fear lodged in my throat, and I shoved my phone at Jack, to show him the message.
“Who’s Charlie?”
“My dog.” I reached the front of the line and thrust my ticket at the clerk.
“So where are you going?” Jack held onto my phone, his brows tugging together into a puzzled frown.
“Where? I’m going to the vet.” I bounced on my toes, mentally urging the clerk to find my coat, and find it quickly.
“It’s just a dog, baby.”
“He’s my dog.” I snatched my phone from his fingers and dialled Mum again. “And don’t call me baby.”
“Hey.” He laughed, and took a step back, his hands held up in surrender. “Sorry, Jessie.”
I pressed the phone to my ear, and heard Mum answer. “Jessie?” Her voice was high and stressed. “We’ve just arrived at the emergency vet on Whitmore Street. Oh, love, he doesn’t look good. Is there any chance you could get down here?”
“Whitmore Street.” My coat appeared on the counter and I nodded a thank you to the girl, then I turned to find a quiet space. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
She’d already hung up. I stood there for a moment, fist pressed to my mouth, trying to compose myself. I sucked in a shaky breath, and then another. I had to get outside, find a cab, and get out of town and back to Stockport. The journey alone would be twenty minutes. Mum hadn’t said what had happened, just those awful words: he doesn’t look good.
I’d forgotten about Jack. He snaked an arm across my shoulders and squeezed me close. Maybe he’d help me get a cab. This part of the city was unfamiliar to me and I didn’t even know where the nearest taxi rank was.
“Jessie. I get you’re upset. Let’s go and get a drink.”
“I want a cab.”
“What? You’re leaving?”
I nodded. I was holding myself together by the finest of threads and didn’t trust myself to speak.
“Jesus. This is the opening night of Sx2, and you’re leaving it for a fucking dog?”
I wished I’d kept my beer. I could have poured it all over his designer shirt. Instead, I turned and pushed my way through the crowd to the exit. Jack Harper was a dick, and this had been a mistake of epic proportions.
I just hoped I could get to Charlie in time.
Chapter Eleven
I sat in the vet’s reception area, one parent on each side, and waited for news. Dad had found Charlie lying motionless, and semi-conscious, in the back garden. They didn’t know if he’d had a stroke, or a heart attack, or any number of equally dire alternatives.
It was serious. The vet diagnosed acute k
idney failure, and had spent the last hour running tests and trying to stabilize him. I expected to be told at any minute, he hadn’t made it.
Eventually, we were allowed to go and see him. He lay on his side in a cage, a drip connected to one paw. I fondled his soft ears and stroked his muzzle, smiling through my tears when he licked my hand. We had to leave him and go home, and the vet promised to call us in the morning. It was a horrible end to a rotten evening, and I wished I’d never gone to the damned club with Jack.
Seeing Charlie lying in a cage reminded me of the dog I’d freed from the pound.
Back home, I comforted myself by thinking about Levi. I longed to lose myself in his embrace, and he filled my thoughts as I went to sleep. If only he was real.
When I opened my eyes in my dream, and saw him sitting on our wooden bench, I stumbled forward and threw myself into his arms. The tears I’d been holding back escaped, and I sobbed against his chest, uncaring that I was making a fool of myself.
He wasn’t real. This wasn’t real, even if it was the most lifelike set of dreams I’d ever had. His woody fragrance, the muscles that bunched in his arms he wrapped them tight around me, and the softness of his much-washed T-shirt. It all added up to way more than a dream.
“Jess. Babe.” He stroked my hair, and ran one hand up and down my spine in a soothing motion. “What’s the matter, my love?”
This was the intimacy I’d wanted from Jack. Fat chance. Another pang of despair for Charlie brought a fresh wave of tears. I was an ugly crier, always had been. Some girls could sob delicately and look fragile and pretty, but I went the full hog. Bright red nose, swollen eyes. Even perfect-Levi wouldn’t find that attractive.
“Talk to me, babe.” Worry lined his voice, and I sucked in a shaky breath.
“It’s Charlie. My dog. He’s very ill.”
He held me even closer. “Poor you. Do you know what’s wrong?”
“Acute kidney failure.” My voice was wobbly.
“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”