by Tiana Cole
“Wouldn’t you rather have a baby? That way, you don’t have to deal with all the stress of a broken kid. Some of them can’t be helped no matter what you do because they’ve been hurt too badly. You’d be a great mom to a newborn.”
Her eyes flashed and her mouth set in a tight line. Why was she so angry?
“I’m so glad that someone thought I was worth helping,” she spat out, eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Shit.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. But that’s how many people feel.”
“I’m not saying everyone is broken beyond repair. If the state isn’t giving you a choice, there is a child out there that needs you just as much as any other child. And if the state doesn’t see what an amazing person you are, that’s their loss. Besides, adopting through a private agency and not dealing with all the hoops with the state would be easier, right?”
“It would be much easier,” she said. “But sometimes, doing the right thing is the hardest. That doesn’t mean you give up, it just means you believe in yourself and your dreams enough to push through any roadblock that gets in your way. Those kids deserve a chance, and I deserve to give someone that chance.”
I could see it in her eyes. She meant every word, and she wasn’t ready to give up on her dream of giving a child a shot at a good life. A child just like the one she had been. Her passion and her drive to help were there, pushing her to fight back against every no. She wasn’t going to let it stop her, and she sure wasn’t going to take the easy way out, no matter what it took.
I understood her completely. This was exactly how I felt about every business venture I’d ever chased after. But this was different. She wasn’t looking to benefit herself; she was wanting to change a life, pouring all of herself into her dream of giving someone else a chance.
She completely humbled me.
Chapter 10
Zeya
I sat there, waiting for him to speak. Waiting for him to say that children like me weren’t worth the battle. So many people were willing to write us off, subscribing to the belief that we were so far gone that it wasn’t worth the effort. It was the only way some people could feel good about themselves when they saw how the other lived.
But not me. I couldn’t walk away and just let it go. And I was one of the lucky ones. So I waited, expecting him to say that I was a dreamer, that I was borrowing trouble and setting myself up for heartache. That there were other ways to become a mother that didn’t have the potential to become an unmitigated disaster.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“What?”
I was genuinely confused. Men like Taylor didn’t say they were sorry. They used their silver tongue to make everything someone else’s fault.
“I never considered anything that you shared, and I never imagined that someone like you could come from such a rough beginning. I was wrong, and ignorant. It’s hard for me to understand what you’ve been through and the things that have made you who you are when I haven’t ever struggled in my life.”
He slid off the couch, sitting on the ottoman. He was close now, his knees nearly touching mine.
He was too close, but I didn’t move to widen the distance. His hand went to my knee, and he kept speaking. But the words were lost on me. I watched his lips, heard some of his words, but my focus was stuck on his hand. The way his fingers gently kneaded my flesh through the fabric of my silk pajama pants.
“…my college roommate still owes me a favor so that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“What?” I asked, suddenly realizing that he’d been chattering nonstop for several minutes while I was focused on his hand.
“My college roommate? The judge? I’m sure he knows someone in the family court system who can help you get cleared to adopt from the state. It couldn’t hurt to try.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course I am. You deserve to be taken seriously. You’re an amazing human being. If the state can’t see that, we’ll make them.”
“But I can’t afford a lawyer.”
“There are things money can’t buy. This is one of them.”
He squeezed my hand and gave it a reassuring pat before handing me a tissue so I could dab away the tears I’d been holding back.
“I’ll look into it on Monday,” he continued, “and I’ll let you know what I can get done. It might not fix everything, but it couldn’t hurt to—”
I threw myself into his arms, a move that surprised me more than it surprised him. This entire process had been so lonely and frustrating. I knew that to him, his offer was no big deal. But the advantage his influence would give me was everything. It might mean I would never read the word “rejected” again.
He chuckled, nearly falling over when he caught me. Pulling me close, I felt his strong arms wrap around me, and I felt safe for the first time in a long time. His body was warm against mine, and the scent of him enveloped me.
My pajamas were thin, providing almost no buffer between Taylor and me. His touch was magical, instantly righting all the wrongs of my days and making me feel as if there was nothing in the world that couldn’t be fixed in his arms.
I felt my body starting to respond to him. I hadn’t realized that I was practically sitting in his lap, but now that I had, I could feel my nipples begin to harden in response to his touch.
I pulled away, suddenly desperate to put some distance between us. He was my employer, and this wasn’t a social call. What the hell was I doing?
“I’m sorry. Thank you for the help, but I was out of line just now.” I smoothed the wrinkles out of my pajama bottoms and continued. “It won’t happen again.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” he said, chuckling softly in the way he often did.
“I’m serious, Taylor. This isn’t a game. I’m with you to do a job and once I’m done, I’ll be gone. We can’t afford to muddy the waters with an unprofessional relationship.”
“Who said anything about it being unprofessional?”
“You can’t possibly think this is okay?”
“Why not? We’re adults. I like you, and it appears you’re attracted to me, too.”
His gaze dipped down, and my nipples hardened even more as his eyes raked across my body.
“I’m cold,” I said, trying to come up with anything to explain it away.
Taylor’s ego was healthy enough, no need to stroke it more by admitting that I was attracted to him.
He smiled at me and I almost melted. This man was too handsome and charming for his own good. I had to get him out of my home before I did something I would regret.
“You need to leave,” I blurted out.
I hated the way I sounded; strangled and a little frazzled by his presence. Now he was going to think I was intimidated by him.
“I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this stalker.”
“It’s not a stalker. It was just a little hate mail.”
“You know damn well that’s not the case. Stop trying to brush it off like it’s nothing. It is something, and I’m not leaving you here alone. I won’t feel like you’re safe until you’re back in my home, where I can keep you safe and sound. Until then, I’m not leaving your side.”
“I’m not a child, Taylor. You can’t just boss me around. I can take care of myself.”
I crossed my arms, partially to prove that I wasn’t willing to concede the point, but mostly to cover my traitorous body so that Taylor couldn’t see exactly how much his presence had affected me.
“I’m not trying to boss you around, but you aren’t taking this seriously. I’m worried about you. That’s not a bad thing. Why are you acting like it is?”
“Why are you acting like I need a knight in shining armor to swoop in and rescue me because some weirdo sent me a threatening letter? I’m a local celebrity. It happens. I can’t freak out every time it does, or I would have quit a long time ago. People are weird, getting obsessed
with celebrities for odd reasons. I can’t hide under a hole for the rest of my life.”
“But you could come work for me, exclusively. At least then, I’ll always know that you’re safe and no one can hurt you.”
What?
“No, I can’t,” I shot back, my voice rising a little as I did.
“Why not?”
“What do you mean, ‘why not’? I have a career and a life. I’m not for hire on a permanent basis. I’m only doing this so that I can—”
I stopped abruptly. I knew why I was doing it, but saying it out loud seemed a little crass. I was only working for him because I needed the money to have children of my own. My radio show was my life’s work, but working for Taylor was just about the money and nothing more. It was a temporary gig, not a segue into a life of working for someone like Taylor. That wasn’t what I wanted for my life at all.
“So that’s it.” His voice sounded stiff. “It’s just about the money?”
Why was he acting like he was butt-hurt over this? This was strictly business.
“Why are you acting like you didn’t know that?”
“I just thought it was turning into something more. You seemed so dedicated that it never occurred to me that this was simply a business transaction to you.”
“What else would it be about? I didn’t know you until you contacted my agent. With the amount of money you offered, how was I going to say no? You knew that, and that’s why you offered so much. Don’t pretend I’m the only one looking at the bottom line here.”
“What about now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is it just about the money now, or do you care about my children?”
“Of course I care about them. They’re wonderful and sweet. And I’ll miss them so much when I’m done that—”
“So you’re just going to walk away?”
“This is a contract job, Taylor. I wasn’t intending to stick around and I never said I would. What made you think that I would?”
Taylor closed his eyes, but he didn’t answer.
“And what about that kiss?” he asked, his voice level and steady.
“You kissed me.”
“So that’s it, then?”
How had this happened? My head was spinning, and I couldn’t even figure out how we’d gotten into a heated debate over money and becoming a permanent nanny for Taylor Stephens. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he was just like all the other rich people; so out of touch with the ‘real world’ that he couldn’t even wrap his head around the fact that I wasn’t interested in working for him long-term. It was like what he offered was better than any dream I had of my own.
Maybe if I softened my approach it would be easier for him to swallow.
“Look, Taylor. It’s not that your family isn’t lovely or your home not amazing. But I have my own life and my own dreams. And those dreams don’t include working for someone else. I’m sure you can understand that. I’m not going to just disappear. You can always call the radio show if you need help, or even my personal cell phone. I’m not going to just cut you off.”
“You say that now, but I can already tell how it’s going to go. You’ll finish the job and you’ll collect your pay complete with bonus. You’ll adopt a child like you’ve always dreamed of, and you’ll be too busy. Calls will start to go straight to voicemail and I’ll be a distant memory that you hardly pay any attention to.”
“You can’t say that for sure,” I offered.
“Of course I can. And I can see it in your eyes that you know I’m right. I’m just a means to an end for you.”
This conversation was getting us nowhere. I was exhausted, and Taylor had obviously built up some expectations that were going to be impossible for me to fill.
“I’m tired, Taylor. I think you should go, and we can talk about this tomorrow or some other day when we’ve both calmed down a bit.”
“I’m not leaving.”
I blew out a big sigh. Why was this man so hard-headed?
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” I said, pointing in the general direction of the door.
“I’m not leaving. Every time I walk away from you, I want to kick myself. I’m not doing it again. At least not without doing this.”
“Without doing wh—”
He pulled me to him, but this time the kiss was anything but fleeting. He held me tight against him, mouth capturing mine, his hungry lips trying to gain entrance as I fought to hold back.
I leaned into him, opening my mouth to him for a moment before the fog cleared and I pushed away.
“Taylor, we can’t. You’re my employer, and—”
His mouth touched mine again, the electricity shooting from my lips down through my toes. And everywhere in between.
My head was light, the room spinning around us as he kissed me deeper. His fingers were in my hair, his other hand tenderly cupping my cheek.
When he finally released me, I couldn’t catch my breath. His delicious scent clung to me, permeating me to the depths of my soul.
It was evident from his satisfied grin that he was proud of himself. And why shouldn’t he be? He’d chipped away at the wall I’d been building between myself and the world for most of my life. But if he thought he’d torn that wall to the ground, he had another think coming. He was just beginning to scratch the surface.
He led me to the sofa, pulling me down beside him gently and wrapping one arm around me. I started to say something but he stopped me before I could.
“Don’t talk, just listen. Talking seems to just get us into trouble.”
Boy, did he have that right.
“I’m staying here. Tomorrow, I’ll have a bodyguard come in. He’ll with you whenever you leave the house until we find out who’s doing this.”
“Can we give it a week and see how it goes? I really think it’s nothing, and I don’t want a goon following me everywhere.”
“Fine. Next week, I’ll have one with you whenever you leave the house.”
“And if everything calms down before then, we’ll call it off.”
“It’s not going to calm down before then.”
I groaned, but I wasn’t going to fight him anymore. If Taylor wanted to spend his money hiring me my own personal shadow, that was fine with me. It was his money. If he wanted to waste it on someone who was probably no more than a forty-something loser in his mother’s basement sending out threatening letters to pass the time, that was up to him. It was pointless to argue. Taylor Stephens was used to getting his way, and it wasn’t worth the fight.
Besides, I had bigger problems. Like keeping my body under control with him sleeping in my condo. That was going to take some doing.
I fought the urge to invite Taylor into my room, setting him up in the living room on the fold-out couch instead. I couldn’t bear to have him in the unused nursery; the pain of rejection was still too raw. Maybe someday Taylor’s clout in the city would make my dreams come true and I would look back on the journey with a lighter heart. But right now it hurt like a bitch, and I didn’t want to deal with it.
He didn’t question the sleeping arrangements, and I was extremely grateful. I didn’t have the emotional energy to explain to him how I felt, and I didn’t really want to open myself up to that kind of vulnerability. If he couldn’t understand why it was too painful for me to open that room when I’d been rejected time and time again, I wasn’t going to explain it to him. Not tonight.
I pulled my bedroom door closed behind me, relieved that Taylor hadn’t tried to weasel his way into my room. This tension between us and that kiss were a problem. A big one. I wasn’t looking to get involved with any man, least of all someone I was employed by. I needed to get my head on straight. Hopefully, a good night’s sleep would accomplish that.
My head hit the pillow and almost immediately, I was asleep.
Chapter 11
Zeya
I heard the scratching before I opened my eyes, trying even in my sleep to pl
ace the noise before I let it rouse me. Maybe if I ignored it, it would go away.
The sound continued, growing louder and more insistent. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and peered into the darkness, looking toward the right where I was certain the sound had originated.
After a few moments, I heard it again, this time to my left.
What the hell? Had it moved?
I was afraid to switch on the bedside lamp, but I did it anyway. When I did, I jumped back onto the pillows, trying to put as much distance between myself and the floor. I didn’t know what was in my room, but images of the neighbor’s snake pushed their way into my mind. If it was Mr. Slithers, I wanted to be as far away as possible. I was sure he was a nice snake, but I wasn’t interested in getting to know him one on one.
Movement on the floor just past the foot of my bed caught my eye, and I saw the tail end of, well, a tail as it slipped by.
“Oh hell no,” I said, crawling slowly to the end of my bed, decorative throw pillow held above my head at the ready.
I peeked over the edge of the bed, trying to see where Mr. Slithers had gone. I heard scratching again, this time coming from my headboard. Was he on the bed?
I flipped around, ready to run out my bedroom door and came face to face with the largest rat I’d ever seen. I screamed, falling off the end of the bed and scrambling to my feet, back pressed against the wall.
It was huge, black eyes soulless and flat. And it was between me and the bedroom door. It stood up on its hind legs, shrieking angrily at me. Its teeth were impossibly huge and there was something else didn’t seem right.
The giant rat moved forward and I realized what I was seeing. Its eyes weren’t just flat and soulless; the rat was too. As he moved toward me, still standing tall on his hind legs, my mind fought to understand the situation. He was still between me and the door, trapping me against the wall as he advanced.
This was not good.