Her mouth hung open a little. “You have every right to be!”
I glanced back at her. “I told him, the last I checked, we were married, and if he didn’t straighten his ass out we’d be divorced.” I sighed and slumped back further into the couch as if I was going to bury myself and hide. “I was heartbroken saying those words to him, but I don’t regret them. It hurt really bad that he just decided to up and sell the house we’ve been living in the last 15 years. Kate is going to be devastated. I’m devastated, and he acted like it was no fucking big deal.” I gulped some water down. The tightening in my chest was making my heart beat faster again, just thinking about this asshole move of his. How did he know selling the house would be better for us? How did he know that it’s going to get us out of our mess? How could he freaking do this without me!
“I knew you guys were having trouble financially, but you didn’t tell me it was that bad, Millie. Yes, he was wrong on all levels of what he did, and I don’t blame you one bit for unleashing that hard truth on him, but he is your husband, too. You guys have to work through it, honey.” She played with a strand of her hair, wrapping it around her finger. I knew she didn’t sugarcoat things with me, but I didn’t like hearing the truth either. “Maybe it was for the best? Maybe you can start new and make better memories somewhere more affordable? After all, it’s not really where you live; it’s who you live with that matters.” She rubbed my shoulders, “I know it’s not what you want to hear, I’m just trying to make you see a different side to the picture. I know how hurt you are, I would be, too. But he didn’t do this without a reason. He did it to save your asses. It would have been different if he just up and did it because he just wanted to. I don’t know, Millie, you two need to talk.”
Looking her straight in the eyes, I took in the hard truth. Understand his reasoning, I did, but to not discuss it with me will always rub me the wrong way. I just kept thinking if I hadn’t lost my job, we may not be going through this mess.
“I know, Stephanie. I just hope we can get past this because he makes it feel like it’s the end of the world. Last night, I was pretty much just a fuck and release for him. It’s never been like that before. It used to be the only thing we were great at and now I can’t even say our love life exceeds that expectation. Things have just changed, and if they don’t start to go back to normal, I don’t know what I’m going to do, other than freak out.” I sniffled. My nerves were shot, I was so tense and emotionally drained. I didn’t know how to feel good anymore. Things were just overwhelming. I never knew being so in debt financially could be so damn depressing. It’s like it’s written over my face, there’s no hiding it in my expressions. There’s no going back, we have to move forward no matter what life had in store for us.
After we sat there for a little while and talked, well, mainly I talked, I released a lot of tension. I decided I needed to let my mind ponder everything, also. What were we going to do now? Where are we going to live? How do I even begin to pack up a house we’ve been in for 15 years? Was Kate going to hate me? Does Brian even love me anymore? So many feelings were riding along in my mind. I wish they’d all park themselves in the garage for the winter.
Stephanie walked me to my car. After spending all afternoon with her, I figured it was time to go pick up Kate. I checked my phone and not one damn message from Brian. This was going to be a rough night ahead, I could already see it. The car headed in the direction to pick up Kate from dance. I did a double take in the mirror and wiped my makeup to be sure there wasn’t any sign of crying. I didn’t want Kate to know, not yet. It was hard enough thinking about how I was going to tell her, let alone hide my emotions while I attempted to tell her. I had to be strong for her—for us.
“Hi, Mom.” She slid into the passenger seat. She seemed a hell of a lot better than this morning.
“Hey, how was school?” I eased on the gas and accelerated out of the school lot. Keeping my focus ahead, I didn’t have to worry about looking at her right then. I focused on the road in front of me.
She signed in exasperation. “School is school. Are we still planning Dad’s birthday surprise party?” She looked at me excited. I peered out of the corner of my eye, noticing how excited she got over a party that wasn’t for her. “If we are, I’d like to invite Ben.”
Ah, I knew there was a catch! I totally had forgotten about the idea of throwing Brian a party. His birthday was creeping up. Right now, I wanted to say no because I didn’t feel he deserved it, but I knew how excited Kate was about it, and even more excited that she was asking to bring a boy.
“I have to think about it. Now spill it, who is Ben?” I’m the Mom, she was getting an interrogation till she told me. I didn’t know if I could handle my daughter talking about boys, but even though my nerves we’re already shot for the day, I knew I had to.
“He’s just an awesome guy, and he’s pretty cute.” She giggled. My baby girl was finally crushing on a guy. This was a scary feeling, I just didn’t know who was more scared, me or her.
“Well, we’ll have to have him over, so Dad and I can meet him. I’m sure if you think he’s an awesome guy, we will too, sweetie.”
I focused back on the traffic that stood ahead. We were almost home, and then I had to think about how to deal with Brian. Maybe I could get around that for now.
I took a deep breath, gripped the wheel tight, and attempted to start revealing the news. It had to come out sooner or later.
“We need to discuss something.” I stopped the car at a red light and glanced over my right. My eyes burning as the tears tried making an appearance, I fought them back.
“Now what, mom!” Another end of the world look. Well, this might be for her, since it was the shock of my life.
“You’re Dad and I have put some thought into our financial situation. Since we want the best for you in school, and without cutting costs on other important things, we are selling the house.” Oh god, it hurt to tell her this. My stomach was clenched in a knot, and my heartbeat sped up again. I wanted to dog her father so badly and blame him, but I knew I had to make it sound like it was a mutual decision. I didn’t want to bring our troubles and our fights into her life.
Her mouth hung open, and she stared at me. Her eyes pricked with water. I knew I hurt my baby girl, but there was literally nothing we could do about our situation.
“I don’t want to move,” she choked out between sobs breaking through her chest.
“I don’t either, Kate. But sometimes we have to make difficult decisions in life and hope that they turn out for the better.” I placed my hand on her knee and rubbed it, offering her comfort. I was in the same boat as her. I didn’t want to pick up and leave, but Brian thought it was best. Obviously, because he did it without my consent, he better have thought it was best.
We drove in silence the rest of the way home. Both of our hearts shattering at the shocking news. Surprise party? Fuck my life.
Chapter 3
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford
Millie
The day of the party the look plastered on Kate’s face when the doorbell rang brought a huge smile to my face. The sound of the bell meant that Ben was here. He made an offer to Kate to come by and help set up the party for her Dad, in hopes that he could take her to a movie later on. I told her that would be up to her father. I left it up to Brian, since I knew he’d give him a hard time. I’m sure Kate was thinking it’s a date, and it would be amusing to see Brian interrogate the shit out of Ben. Well, in a nice way. It still didn’t stop her from getting extremely over the top excited at the slight chance it might happen. She had an extra bounce in her step all day. Her perky self was in a good mood, and she did whatever I asked her to. Wow, I was seriously thinking I might have to talk about boys with her more often, and maybe she’d handle the responsibilities we’d given her more responsibly. I followed closely behind her as she raced to the door
. She checked herself out in the mirror by the doorway, straightened a strand of her hair, and plumped her lips together, making a popping sound and shook her body all over, like she was releasing tension. After all of that, she opened the door wide.
This cute boy about six feet tall stood on the porch with the biggest smile, which flushed his cheeks. You could tell he was nervous, even though he was smiling. I lay my hand over my heart and cocked my head to the side. I adored this boy, and I haven’t even been introduced yet. His warm brown eyes matched his slick light brown hair that was spiked up tall. He was dressed nicely in a pair of jeans and a plaid button up shirt. For first impression, he looked like a nice kid.
“Ben! Hey!” She jumped towards him and gave him a big welcome hug. She backed away with the goofy grin still there. She turned towards me. “Mom, this is Ben Paler, Ben, this is my mom.”
Ben reached his hand out to me. “Hello, Mrs. Weaver, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
I reached out and grabbed his hand in a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, Ben. Please, come in. We have lots to do to get ready for the party.” I winked at Kate, patted her on the back and headed in the kitchen to get back to cooking.
We had the mostaccioli, Italian beef, potato salad, coleslaw, green bean casserole, and broccoli salad sitting on the end of the counter. Kate and I had been busily cooking all day to get this party ready. I believed Brian had no clue about the party, so he was going to be surprised alright. Guests would arrive soon. Ben and Kate had been put on the decoration committee while I’ve dealt with the food and putting the small card tables around the house. I watched through the patio doors as Ben helped Kate climb up on the step ladder to hang a banner across the door. You could tell he was trying his best not to look at her belly that was showing, since her top rode up when she stretched her hands to hang the sign. It was so cute to watch them. It made my heart melt, but at the same time race with the thoughts that the sex talk had to come and come soon. She needed to hear it whether she already knew it or not. Ben was her first interest in a guy, and I was going to make sure the precautions were in order.
An hour later, the guests started arriving, and Kate and Ben were my greeters. He was so sweet, taking everyone’s jackets and placing them on the coat rack. His gestures lead me to believe he had manners and was raised right.
The house was full of people from family to friends and even some of the guys Brian worked with and their wives. Everyone was scattered around the back of the house in preparation to surprise Brian when he walked through the door. My nerves were sinking in, and my palms started to sweat. I wasn’t sure how Brian was going to react to this, knowing the times were rough with us right now. We haven’t been on the best of terms, so he’s been contacting Kate through text lately if he had something to tell us. Mature right? We have less than a month to be packed and moved out. Brian has been helping packing, but he’s been keeping his distance from me. We haven’t spoken much other than things that had to be discussed. I was still upset, and he was letting me breathe and have my time. We came together and decided to find a place to live. Even though I wasn’t happy about it, we decided on a nice condo in town. I wasn’t excited. Realization hit, this surprise party would be the last party ever thrown in this house by the Weaver family.
Brian
Thank God my buddy Tom was coming back to the house with me to work on the car. Anything at the moment to get me away from Millie was what I needed. Even though I loved her with all my heart, she has been on my case every day since I sold the damn house. She just doesn’t get it. We can’t afford it anymore, and I did what I had to do with or without her. I knew she wouldn’t let me sell it if she was there with me. She would have begged me not to let the house go, but in all honestly, I was over the house. It carried the stress of our marriage over the years, our fights, our problems. Yeah, it did have good memories, too, like carrying Kate in after she was born and figuring out how to parent her all these years. Her firsts were all in this place, learning how to talk, walk, and run. It was those memories I wouldn’t want to forget, but it’s not the house that held a memory for me. Millie tried to explain the memories were attached to the house, but to me it was attached to my mind.
I walked up the steps to the front porch and looked at our neighbor’s house through the tree lined driveway. I shook my head, shit, he must be having a party with all those cars lined up. Wish I was over there rather than here. I fidgeted with my keys in the front door before it finally swung open. Sure as shit, Kate was standing there in the foyer with a fucking boy. A boy that I might have to clean my fucking gun for. This was not what I’d expected. I didn’t want to deal with this shit no matter how much it meant to Kate. Now was not the time. I closed the door behind me and narrowed my eyes at the two of them. My mouth formed a grim line as I knew what was coming.
“Daddy, I want you to meet someone. His name is Ben Paler.” Her smile was so bright it could’ve knocked someone out in the darkness.
“It’s nice to meet you…” Ben began, and I cut him off before he could call me anything.
“Now now, pretty boy. I suggest you leave, and we do this another time,” I sneered.
I knew it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but I also knew it was the truth. I don’t have time to sit here and chit chat about him and keep myself focused enough to remember the shit I needed to remember. Like where he lives if and when I needed to kick his ass.
Kate’s cheeks flushed immediately, his jaw dropped, and I swung the front door open swinging my hand in the direction for him to leave. Her hand flew to her mouth and tears sprang from her eyes.
“Dad, what the fuck?” She swore straight to my face. Pretty boy took one glance at me and took off out the door. Did I really have that look that scared boys shitless? Well, I’m glad. She’s too young to have a fucking boyfriend.
“Like I said, Kate, now isn’t the time. The next time I hear you swear at me like that, you won’t ever see that boy again,” I roared, and my veins popped in my forehead. She knew better than to swear at me. I moved passed Kate and headed into the house. Once I reached the kitchen entryway, the lights popped on and a shit ton of people stared at me, not in a welcoming way, and coughed out surprise.
Fuck me, what the hell did Millie do? What did she think, we were made of money and we could afford a party? Plenty of thoughts ran through my mind, but I decided to think quickly and put a smile on my face. As soon as I made contact with Millie, she crossed her arms and flew out the door in a huff. I’m sure that all these fucking people just heard me be a complete and utter asshole to my daughter and her boy toy.
“Wow, I’m surprised, you guys got me.” I chuckled and straightened my shirt, trying to ease the awkward tension in the air. My eyes wandered to my mother. For the first time in a long time, she looked disappointed in me. Hell, I couldn’t blame her right now, but she just didn’t know how life was going. Nobody in this room did. Except Stephanie, who took off after Millie. I stopped to think about the sweet gesture she did, but money consumed my thoughts. Millie knew we didn’t have the extra money to throw parties. Yet, I’m sure Kate had a lot of influence. Yeah, and I totally messed up her night. Father of the year award for me. NOT.
My mother walked up to me and spread her arms open, but not wide enough for a typical mom hug. She half hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Make it right”. Make it right? Jeez, if she really knew what was going on she would be whispering in Millie’s ear to lay the fuck off. Okay, so the irritable side of me was out, and I’m the happiest I could be. I stood up tall, cracked my neck from side to side and tried to ease my anger from boiling out of control at the moment. Didn’t anyone know how I was feeling? Nope. It was blame Brian for everything. I guess that’s what I get when I keep shit inside. My business was gone. I haven’t made a penny in so many months that it was just a decision I had to make. It broke my heart knowing it probably made my dad roll in his grave. He bred that business from the ground up, giving it to me, and it was
gone in a snap of a finger. It just had to happen. Did anyone take in the fact that I’d been upset about that? That I felt like I’d failed my family, failed my career. Nope. Nobody takes into consideration about my feelings. I needed to provide for my family, not hurt from a bankruptcy that would ruin us. Russ down at the car dealership gave me an opening position. I took it right away. I knew it was more commission. I didn’t want to deal with it because it’s risky, but I had a better chance selling cars than I did roofs. I wanted to talk to Millie about it, but it wasn’t happening lately with her fucking attitude. We truly needed a getaway to get our asses back together to a point of being tolerable. Somehow, I didn’t think my behavior with Kate just made her any happier with me.
I moseyed around the room saying hi to everyone who came. They all stuffed their faces with food as I made my rounds. I knew Kate or Millie was next, and I knew I had to choose my battles. I had two choices; either battle with a teary eyed hormonal fourteen-year-old girl pissed off at Daddy, or Millie surrounded with her girls that could go from girlie girl to grizzly in less than sixty seconds and hand me by my balls on a paper plate, like them fancy toothpick meatballs. I was sure to be on the shit list of both their parties. Kate was probably on the phone with Ben, and Millie was surrounded by her girls. The lesser of the two evils came to mind. Millie. The women in my life hated me right then and pretty much had every right to. I did need to make it right, but they needed to respect the things going on in my head lately. Fuck, it’s been overwhelming.
Somebody Worth It Page 3