by Drew Hayes
“Sweet. Hershel?”
“I’ll join up with you guys in a few minutes,” Hershel said. “I have to take care of something really quick.”
“Cool deal,” Nick said, pulling himself from the couch. He and Vince headed into the boys’ area, the steel door locking firmly shut behind them.
Hershel took a deep breath. He wasn’t good at these sorts of things, that is to say, brave things. He preferred to let Roy handle that sort of thing. Hershel was the brain and the heart, Roy was the brawn and the guts. It wasn’t a perfect arrangement, but it had sufficed for many years. There was a flaw in that system, though. It didn’t account for when Hershel needed bravery for something only he could do. Admittedly, such a scenario hadn’t really come up before now.
Personally, Hershel blamed his mother. She’d put the thought in his head, and it had stewed about all weekend. By the time he’d kissed her cheek goodbye, he had come to the undeniable realization that she was right. Admitting that was unfortunate, because it demanded action. He had to make a choice, and even if he did nothing, he now knew that was a choice in itself. Hershel no longer had the convenience of self-deception. The only question left was if he had enough courage of his own to take the risk. Well, to be fair, that wasn’t the only question left.
“Mary?” Hershel said shakily, walking over to the chair where she was sitting.
“Yes?” She looked up at him and set the book on her lap.
“I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime to do something with me if you wanted.”
Mary arched an eyebrow. “Could you elaborate?”
Hershel’s stomach began gurgling. He sent it a mental note that it could complain and vomit in stress all in wanted in five minutes, but for now it should please shut the fuck up.
“I want to take you on a date.” Hershel’s eyes widened slightly: that was more straightforward than he’d been shooting for. Still, it was out there now.
A slow smile crept across Mary’s face. “I’d like that. What did you have in mind?”
“Um, just dinner on Friday. Off campus, of course. Around seven?”
“Works for me,” Mary said, straining to keep her own voice even and calm. “It’s a date.”
“Awesome,” Hershel said. “I mean, cool. It’ll be fun. Yeah... I’m going to go play video games with Nick and Vince now. But I’ll see you on Friday.”
“We live in the same dorm. I’ll see you before then,” Mary pointed out. “I get what you mean, though. See you then.”
“Right,” Hershel said. He then, in an act of wisdom well beyond his years, immediately retreated to the boys’ lounge before he could say anything stupid and mess things up.
For her own part, Mary waited until she was sure Hershel was staying behind in the other room before bolting out of her chair and dashing into the girl’s side, banging on Alice’s door.
Interestingly enough, both sides had similar reactions to the news.
“About freaking time.”
101.
“So you finally did it,” Nick said, slapping Hershel on the back. “What gave you the kick in the pants?”
“Something my mom said, actually,” Hershel admitted.
“Make me grandbabies or don’t bother coming home?” Nick asked.
“A touch more tactful than that. She just pointed out that it wasn’t going to get easier at this point, and the longer I waited, the worse my chances got.”
“Good for you,” Vince said. “I bet you two have a great time. What are you planning?”
“Just dinner,” Hershel said. “Someplace kind of nice, probably.”
“Classic start,” Nick said. “Then what?”
“I don’t know... digesting?”
“Right. Let me get this straight. You’ve been trying to ask this girl out for over six months, you finally got up the courage and she agreed to be your date for an evening, and you don’t plan to do anything besides go to dinner and come back?” Nick asked.
“It sounds really lame when you say it.”
“I can’t imagine why,” Nick said, shaking his head. “Hershel, my boy, I don’t know a lot of things about women. I know they like chocolate, shoes, and movies that induce crying. I know they get offended if you ask if their behavior is due to a regular monthly occurrence. I know that some of them get a little violent if you try to give them an innocent nickname.”
“Sugartits isn’t what I’d call innocent,” Vince interjected.
“Stay on subject, Silver. My point is that I know precious few things, but one of those is that a woman expects a little woo to be pitched on a first date,” Nick said. “Assuming you want there to be a second one.”
“I would very much like there to be a second one,” Hershel said.
“Then we better get brainstorming, because a girl like Mary is going to take more than a chicken parmesan and some kind words to win over,” Nick said.
* * *
“So where do you think he’ll take you?”
“I’m not sure. Someplace nice, I’m sure, but hopefully not too fancy. I’m a simple girl, and I think Hershel knows that,” Mary said.
Alice nodded her head in agreement. “He seems to be slightly less thick-headed than the other men we’re surrounded by.”
Mary laughed. “They might surprise you. Some of them are actually quite sharp.”
“I’m sure,” Alice said. Before she would have brushed off the comment as Mary being good-natured. Now, though, she once again found herself thinking about Nick’s little transformation. Even if he could lie that well, there was no way he could keep it from Mary’s telepathy. She had to have some inkling of what was going on in the head behind those sunglasses. Sadly, this wasn’t the time to ask her about it. Right now was about Mary... and Hershel, to a similar extent.
“Any clues on where he’ll take you after dinner?” Alice asked.
Mary blinked. “After?”
“Yeah; I mean, he asked you on a date. You don’t think he’s planning on just driving to get food then coming back and saying bye do you?”
“Sort of. Yeah,” Mary admitted.
“Ah. Dates usually consist of more than just food. At least first ones do, anyway. It’s the guy’s chance to really show you how awesome he is, so they love doing it up big,” Alice explained.
“I see. I suppose that doesn’t seem so bad,” Mary said. “You know a lot about dates.”
“Only second-hand. The few times I ever ‘went out’ with a guy were formal dinners when my dad wanted me to charm the son of some CEO or royalty,” Alice said. “They were pre-arranged events with chaperones and the guys were always boring as hell.”
“That bites,” Mary said.
“It did, but who cares? Those days are long since past. Now let’s focus on you, little missy. Have you picked out an outfit yet?”
“I was thinking... the peach-colored dress?” Mary ventured very tentatively.
“Hmm. You know, that would work nicely,” Alice said.
Mary let out a sigh of relief.
“...as a start,” Alice continued.
“A start?”
“Sure, it’s a base layer. Dressing up is all about picking a base then building tasteful accessorization on top of it,” Alice explained. “Don’t worry; we’ve got nearly a week to play around with all kinds of combinations. By the time Friday night gets here we’ll have gone through every conceivable variety of outfit and picked the absolute best one.”
“Oh joy.”
* * *
“So we’ve ruled out comedy clubs, movies, miniature golf, and strip clubs, though the last was under extreme protest,” Vince surmised.
“It’s a touch of daring and adventure!” Nick proclaimed. “Plus it puts the sex issue right on the table. It’s perfect!”
“It’s done, Nick, let it go,” Vince said. “We’re on to new suggestions now.”
“I’m running dry,” Hershel said. “You and Sasha have been together for a while now, wha
t kind of first date did you take her on?”
“I just did dinner,” Vince said. “This whole woo pitching thing was news to me, too.”
“Wait, you did just dinner?” Hershel turned to Nick. “If he got away with it why can’t I?”
“Several reasons,” Nick said. “For one, the whole lovably clueless thing works for Vince.”
“I’m not clueless,” Vince protested.
“Whatever you say, Cupcake. You don’t have that type of charm. You’re a smart, good-hearted guy. That means you’re expected to do your research and put out some real effort,” Nick said.
“I guess I can see that,” Hershel agreed.
“Secondly, ask yourself something. This is your first date with a girl you really like. Do you want to ‘get away’ with half-assing it or do you want to leave her speechless?”
“Okay, okay. Point taken. I have to do more than just dinner. But we still haven’t answered the question of what,” Hershel said.
“I keep telling you guys, there is a gentleman’s club south of town with exceptionally reasonable steak prices on Friday nights.”
“Still no on that one.”
“I think you have to ask yourself less of what you’d like to do and more of what Mary would enjoy,” Vince said. “It’s about impressing her, so it needs to be something she’d have fun doing.”
“Carnival?” Hershel ventured.
“That would actually work... if there were any going on right now,” Nick said.
“Damn. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Roy always made dating seem effortless,” Hershel said.
“That’s because Roy didn’t care, so he didn’t put in effort,” Nick pointed out. “That’s another type of charm, though, once again, a type you don’t have.”
“Relax, Hershel, you’ve got most of a week ‘til Friday. I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Vince assured him.
“And if you don’t, there’s always steak and tits,” Nick tossed out. “Just saying.”
102.
Mary returned home from class on Tuesday to find Mr. Numbers setting up the chess board in the common room.
“Is it Saturday already?” Mary asked.
Mr. Numbers shook his head. “We missed our weekend game. I thought we might play today instead.”
Mary paused for a moment, then walked over and set down her bag. “Why not?”
Mary made the opening move, followed by Mr. Numbers. In the time they had been playing she’d been slowly growing better. She was lasting a move or two longer each game so far, though Mr. Numbers anticipated her progress would reach a plateau within another five games.
“So, what’s on your mind?” Mary asked as she shifted her knight’s position.
“Just the game.”
“Now, I think we both know that’s a lie,” Mary said.
“Listening in?”
“Not during our games, no. But I’ve heard you long enough to know you’re a creature of habit, and you’d rather miss a game than reschedule it,” Mary said.
“True,” Mr. Numbers said. “Mr. Transport and I have been entertaining the idea of another project, one that would require the assistance of you and Nick.”
“I should warn you, I’m still putting extra blankets on my bed and drinking my tea hot as symptoms from the last ‘project’ you two hatched.”
“It’s nothing like that,” Mr. Numbers assured her. “This one would be both harmless in nature and universally beneficial.”
“I’m sure.”
“Are you willing to hear me out?”
“Yes,” Mary said. “If for no other reason than I’d rather be forewarned and forearmed.”
Mr. Numbers carefully ran through the plan Mr. Transport had presented him some days before. He was careful to include every detail he had currently determined and to be absolutely truthful. Even if Mary really wasn’t listening in right now, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be checking in on him in time to come.
“I like it,” Mary said. “And I’m on board for it. I can’t speak for Nick, though.”
“I daresay no one could claim such an ability,” Mr. Numbers remarked.
“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, you’ll need him,” Mary said.
“I was unfortunately certain you would say that.”
“You’re good at what you do. Anything else I should know?” Mary asked.
“Indeed. Checkmate,” Mr. Numbers said, moving his bishop and springing the trap he’d laid.
Mary blinked. “Did you distract me with this just to beat me?”
“Don’t be silly,” Mr. Transport said. “It was a necessary conversation. And I don’t need cheap ploys to beat you.”
“Yet,” Mary said.
Mr. Numbers looked down at the small, unassuming girl and the confident look in her eyes. His brain buzzed, assessing the multiple factors he’d gleaned about her. Her ambition, her determination, her aptitude, and her focus.
“Yet,” Mr. Transport agreed, sweeping up the board and heading into his room.
* * *
Nick was relaxing in the common room later that night, flipping through television stations, when a flash of blonde hair and pink dress dropped into the seat next to him.
Nick raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”
“What?” Alice said. “Can’t a girl sit down and watch some TV with her friend?”
“That depends,” Nick said. “Is there a reason she needs to do it right next to him, as opposed to in one of the many other scenic locations?” He gestured at the empty common room and the abundance of seats contained within it.
“Oh no, I think proximity is very important. It fosters deep, intellectual conversations. Conversations about new developments, and what those new developments might be doing this weekend,” Alice said.
“You want to know where Hershel is taking Mary on Friday.”
“See, I always told people how smart you were,” Alice said.
“Liar.”
“Admitted,” Alice said. “But I still want to know, so spill it.”
Nick laughed. “And why would I betray the secrecy of my dear friend for the curiosity of a girl who repeatedly hits me?”
“Well,” Alice said, leaning forward slightly. “Maybe because a gesture of that sort would make her feel better disposed toward you. Maybe she’d show you a softer, kinder side.”
“Yeah, not buying it.”
“Fine. Then how about maybe because she’s right next to you with her hand in punching range of your crotch?”
“Now, see, that, that I believe,” Nick said, shifting his legs slightly to provide cover. “Even if I wanted to tell you though, I can’t. As of when I last checked, Hershel doesn’t even know what he’s going to do with Mary after dinner.”
“That sucks,” Alice said. “He better think of something soon. Mary’s looking forward to a good night out.”
“I’m sure our little nerd boy will come through in the clutch,” Nick assured her. “He can be tenacious when the mood strikes him. Plus, Vince and I offered up a veritable plethora of helpful suggestions.”
“Please. You probably suggested something moronic, like taking her to a strip club.”
“I would never!” Nick cried in a hurt tone. “I can’t believe you think so little of me.”
“Uh huh. Whatever you say, stud. Let me know if he tells you anything,” Alice said, getting off the couch.
“No promises, but if it’s exceptionally interesting I might seek you out,” Nick said.
“That’s probably as good as I’m getting out of you,” Alice sighed. “I’m going to go work on some chemistry. Night, Nick.”
“Night, Alice,” Nick said, giving her a perfunctory wave. Once the door was closed, though, worry descended on his face. She’d been much more comfortable and familiar around him than normal. The whole mock flirting thing had demonstrated that amply well. Such an attitude could be problematic. The last thing he needed was her to grow so at ease around him
their friendship developed into romance. No, it was best to nip this in the bud right away.
Nick flipped out his cell phone and selected a number from its directory. That was the good thing about catching these situations early, they could often be resolved in a single phone call.
103.
The concrete crunched under the forceful impact of Roy’s substantial form crashing against it.
“Getting tired?” Roy croaked from his prone position on the ground. “That last one lacked your usual flair.”
“Did it?” Chad asked. “I’ll be sure to make up the difference on this one.”
“I appreciate it,” Roy said, pulling himself vertical. “I’m not here for the B course after all.”
Chad did something then that Roy hadn’t seen from him so far, something to his knowledge no one had witnessed.
Chad laughed.
“You know, for all of your flaws, you’ve got tenacity,” Chad said, chuckling to himself. “It’s refreshing, even after all these weeks. I’d started thinking there was no one who could take my strength and keep coming.”
“And all this from the guy who wasn’t even worthy to fight you,” Roy said, smiling as he tried to get his feet steady.
“Indeed,” Chad said. “It almost makes me wish you were on my level. I think fighting someone with your resolve at a higher talent level would benefit me greatly.”
“Then you take this as a Roy Daniels promise: when I’m stronger than you, I’ll still be your sparring partner.”
“I appreciate the intent,” Chad said, taking a stance as he prepared to bring Roy down again. “You do know that you’ll never be better than I am, though, don’t you?”
“I know that you think that,” Roy said. He charged forward, left arm swinging around at Chad’s head. Chad easily stepped to the side, caught Roy’s arm, and wrenched it around to his back.
“With moves like that, you’ll lucky to even land a blow on me before the year’s end,” Chad said. He expected Roy to make another witty comment before Chad swept his legs out from under him and deposited him on the ground. What met his ears was something entirely different.