by Paloma Meir
“Leave them alone,” he said.
I didn’t say anything but didn’t make another move. Danny dropped one of her hands and led her into the garage where there was a single lane bowling alley.
“They’re so cute together,” Cara said.
“He shouldn’t take her in there.” I took another step towards them.
“Serge chill out. What do you think he’s going to do to her?” Brendan held my arm back again.
Veronica walked across the room to us before I could respond to him.
“Hi Serge.” She gave me a hug. “We’re going to the Whiskey. Do you want to come with us?”
“No thanks. I have plans.” I had grown to appreciate Veronica over the years but was too preoccupied by Zelda and Danny to pay any attention to her that night. “These are my friends, Brendan and Cara.”
“Hi, I’m Veronica,” she introduced herself to them.
“I like your dress. Is it leather? So shiny,” Cara asked.
“It is leather. Thank you. I borrowed it from my mother,” she turned to me, “come on Serge. Come with us. It will be fun.”
“Yeah Serge. Go with them. Better than Celena,” Brendan said.
“Who’s Celena?” Veronica asked.
“His ex-girlfriend. She has problems,” Cara said.
“Zelda said you didn’t have a girlfriend,” Veronica said to me and turned to Cara. “Don’t you think I should be his girlfriend?”
“Yes, then we could all be friends. I want to hang out with the three of you. You’re all so pretty,” Cara said.
“Did you hear that Serge? I’m your girlfriend now.” They all laughed. “Come on Serge. Cara could be part of the Princesses. You don’t want to disappoint her do you, do you?”
“What are the Princesses?” I was unable to focus on anything other than Zelda having been alone with Danny for too long.
“You and Zelda don’t talk much do you? That’s what they call us up at our school. It’s supposed to be an insult but I like it.”
“Cara is my Princess,” Brendan said. “They’re back.”
Zelda ran out of the garage. Danny quickly came up behind her and held her close, kissing her neck. She leaned into him as if she liked it. I couldn’t move. She turned around to face him. His arms were still around her. She spoke to him, but we were too far away to hear what she was saying. Danny smiled in a way that looked painful with the way it stretched across his face. His eyes never left her.
“The wait was long, but he did it. Victory.” Brendan shouted out.
The DJs walked in front of us blocking our view for a moment. When they passed I saw Zelda, not Danny instigating their kiss, her arms around him holding him tightly. The crowded room turned to watch them. She pulled herself away, then back on him, really wrapping herself around him, and kissing him harder. Her head shifted to our direction and our eyes met for a moment. She pushed him away and ran to the front door.
“I saw that Serge. What are you, her dad?” Brendan asked.
I couldn’t breath. What had happened? I had a strong sense that I had lost something very important to me.
“They call her the Space Princess but I always think of her as the Purity Princess, not anymore. Happy birthday Zelda.” Veronica laughed, “I guess we’re leaving now. Are you going to miss me Serge?” I normally liked her flirtatious nature but not that night. She kissed me lightly on the lips. “Good-bye honorary Princess Cara. Bye Brendan.”
Danny was by the door with the pack of girls talking to Zelda. She seemed to have come to her senses and was ignoring him, but Danny was in full win mode. She walked out the door anyway.
He stood in the entryway after they left with a look on his face I had never seen before on anyone, a mixture of triumph and peace. His eyes were on fire and still the smile that was destined to cause a muscle ache in his face.
I tried to take an objective view. I may have thought of her as a child, but she wasn’t and hadn’t been for a while. Danny was a good guy, a bit too fast, but Zelda wasn’t a pushover. She could be obstinate if asked to do something she didn’t want to do. I had given her Simone De Beauvoir’s The Second Sex the Christmas before and for a few months after, everything she didn’t like was misogynistic. She could handle herself. She didn’t belong to me. She wasn’t a piece of property.
I felt okay, even happy for Danny. My friend had been pining away for her for half his life, that wasn’t even an exaggeration. I thought maybe when they were through, Zelda would be with me. I did not like that thought. I knew I had to get Celena immediately. My idea of just being friends with her left my mind.
“I’m okay with this,” I said to Brendan and Cara.
“That’s good because I don’t want to be a part of you and Danny going to war.” He laughed, “Why...”
“He’s going down.” I yelled out as I saw Isabella fly across the room and jump into Danny’s arms. “Zelda as a conquest? Not fucking happening.”
In my anger I couldn’t hear what Brendan and Cara were yelling out to me as I ran across the room. I was madder at myself for misreading Danny than for what he had done to Zelda. It was a sex-based obsession. There wasn’t any real feeling behind. I assumed he saw the sweetness inside of her as I did. I had been wrong. Who knew what he had done or said to her to make her behave in that lusty way?
“Was that Zelda?” I was so full of rage that I wasn’t making sense, of course it was Zelda, “What did you do to her?”
“I was getting to know her. What’s up Serge?” He disentangled himself from Isabella.
“You were all over her. Don’t you fucking touch her again,” I wanted to break his face, make him bleed.
“Technically from my vantage point, she was all over him.” Isabella laughed softly.
“Shut up, Isabella.” Never before in my life had I told a girl to shut-up. I forced myself to relax. “That girl is practically my sister. Don’t screw around with her. She’s not like you going from person to person.”
“What are you talking about? Person to person? She’s it for me.”
“You go through girls like athletic socks. No offense Isabella. If she’s “it for you” what are you doing with Isabella? I’ll take you down if you hurt her.”
“Relax dude. I would never hurt her.” He cleared his throat as if embarrassed. “I love her. Isabella is my friend, that’s it.”
“Athletic socks? No offense taken...”
“You love her? You’ve never even spoken to her before tonight. Did you get her drunk?” He never liked girls who drank a lot, but it was possible his obsession had gotten the better of him. That could be the only possible explanation for what had happened.
“Fuck off Serge. No I didn’t get her drunk.” He was ready to fight. I was ready to fight. I looked forward to it. I would tear him apart.
“Calm down testosterone boys. Serge, he’s always had a thing for her. I promise he would never do anything to hurt your surrogate sister. I would be more worried about him if I were you.” Isabella was right. I reminded myself that Danny was my friend, and I had never seen him treat anyone in a disrespectful way. Besides I had never in my life been violent off the field. My thoughts of beating him and ripping his face off were crazy.
“Danny, know that I’m watching.” I didn’t even know what I meant by that.
Dinner had been hours before and felt like another lifetime ago. I went into Danny’s kitchen looking for pizza or chips, anything. I was hungry. The countertop was covered in cupcakes, not plain cupcakes, cupcakes decorated in pinks and reds, all with heart designs, chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of Kahlua. Danny had laid a Zelda trap I realized as I heard the first sound of music from the DJ, disco music.
I grabbed two cupcakes and ran to Celena's house. I did not stop at mine to pick up my guitar. Who was I kidding? I loved her. I didn’t just want to be her friend. I wanted her to be with me as a rational person. How hard could that be?
“This is how we’re doing this Celena, hand m
e your phone and computer and then you’re going to take off your clothes.” I opened the door to her room to find her sitting on the bed of her immaculate room, “Have a cupcake.”
“Okay” She looked a little tired but laughed at my orders, “You love me again, Serge?” She handed over her phone and computer and took the cupcake from my outstretched hand.
“Yes Celena. Did you hear what I said about the clothes?” I sat down on her floor and began deleting the phone numbers, contact information and social media connections of all of my friends. I knew she might try to rebuild what I removed, but I didn’t think she would get much help from anyone in her efforts.
“I like you like this, but you forgot your guitar.” I looked up at her as she took off her dress and sat on her bed.
“I’ll play you like a guitar. All of your clothes Celena not just the dress. Do it now.” I had never spoken to her like this before. She laughed, but I noticed her eyes looked a little flat. “Are you okay? You look a little tired.”
“I am a little sleepy. What time is it? Hurry up with deleting everybody. I assume that’s what you’re doing, am I right?” She lay down on her bed.
“It’s not too late.” I looked at the time, “10:30. You are correct as usual, I am deleting everybody, and my beautiful Celena, you will not be adding them back. You will talk to me if you have odd thoughts. We’ll work it out together, okay? No more fits.”
“I love you, Serge.”
“And I love you.” I put down her electronic devices, took off my clothes and jumped on the bed and pulled her legs apart, “I’m going to go down on you until you’re numb.”
“I would love that, but I’m so tired. Let’s just have sex.”
“It’s what you like best. I want to do it. Lay back, I’ll wake you up.”
“I’m so lucky to have you.” She took my arm pulling me up beside her. “I cleaned and organized all day... All right, wake me up.” She laughed.
“That’s all I want. I have to be home by 2:00. I have a lot of papers to finish in the morning. I’ll be back tomorrow at 4:00 with my guitar okay?” I didn’t wait for an answer.
…
I slept in and woke with a fury to get my work done so I could get back to her. I was taking five AP classes and had commitments to the physics club, Isaac Asimov club, tutoring low-performing students for my community service hours, and my job overseeing Zelda’s almost hyperactive little brother Anthony. The schedule was hectic but more time consuming than difficult. I needed to get ahead of the work so I could have more time with Celena.
Finished with all my assignments for the following two weeks, I jumped in the shower, quickly got dressed and grabbed my guitar to head up to her house. In the hallway, I heard Zelda’s voice from Carolina’s room.
I felt like I needed to say something to her, but what I didn’t know. I knew the night before had been a big change in her life. Big change would be underplaying it.
“Hey Zelda. Did you have a good birthday?” I asked while trying to think of what I wanted to say to her. She wore jeans and a sweatshirt. Never before had I seen her dressed that way. I knew that she must have spent the day with Danny and her outfit was his influence. What I couldn’t understand was why he would want to take away her self-expression, or why she would want to make him happy by denying herself who she had always been.
“Yes. Thank you.” She made a move to go down the stairs. I took her hand. She looked at me as if she were guilty of something.
“You have a very clear voice. You can use it to say “no." Don’t let anyone push you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
“Okay,” she replied still with that look on her face.
“I don’t think we have to worry about that,” Carolina laughed. I almost hated my sister in that moment.
“We’re ordering food back at my house. Do you want to come over?” Zelda's eyes were wide and her face so vulnerable. I lost myself in her for a moment.
“Sorry, no. I have a guitar lesson.” I walked down the stairs. I couldn’t understand why I felt so connected to her in so many ways.
“Since when does he play the guitar?” Zelda asked Carolina.
“Some girl up the road is teaching him,” Carolina replied as I shut the door.
I ran guitar in hand up to Celena’s house. The front door was locked which was unusual. I rang the bell, and her mother came to open it. Being well-mannered I knew I would have to speak to her. I had always enjoyed talking to Mrs. Williams before, but that day she was an obstruction in my path to her daughter.
“How are you Mrs. Williams? Celena’s teaching me to the play the guitar.” I held it up as if she had never seen one before.
“I’m very good, Serge. I don’t know if she’s up to it today... I didn’t know you two were seeing each other again.” She turned away from me.
“Is she sick?” I didn't know how to respond to her question of our relationship status.
“No... I don’t know how to say this. I thought you two had broken up for good.” She looked back at me, “Celena has problems as I know you know. It’s gotten particularly bad in the past few months. Her doctor prescribed medication... We didn’t have a choice... We’ve put this off for years.” She looked off again.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I panicked, “Is she okay? Is she here?”
“She’s fine. She is upstairs in her room. She’s a little flat. That would be the best way to put it. We’ve put a call into her doctor, and he’ll be adjusting her medication when we take her in for her appointment on Monday."
“Excuse me, Mrs. Williams.” I ran past her to Celena’s room.
I opened the door to see her sitting on her bed staring out the window in the same dress she had been wearing the day before. She didn’t look up to the sound of the door opening, and her profile looked slack. I put the guitar on the floor and sat down beside her.
“Celena, are you ready for my lesson?” She looked at me, but her eyes were glassy and unfocused.
“Hi Serge.” Her voice was spiritless. Flat as her mother had called it would have been fine compared to the condition Celena was in.
“You look a little tired, Celena. It's a beautiful day.” It was gray and a little cold. “Let’s go for a walk.” I lifted her off the bed.
“Okay.”
“Let me get you a jacket.” I went to her closet and took out a long black wool cardigan, “Even better a sweater for you sweet, Celena.” I handed it to her. She stared at it instead of taking it from me.
“Let me help you get it on. Sweaters can be difficult.” I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I lifted her arms up to put the cardigan on her.
“You need shoes, Celena. I don’t want the road to hurt your delicate feet.” By this point I was speaking to her in an artificially high singsong voice. I looked in her closet for slip-ons. I didn't want to have to tie laces or zip up boots. Ballet flats, perfect.
“Can you put these on yourself?” I knew she couldn’t as I asked the question. I lowered her back to her bed and put them on her long pale feet. “Are you ready to go?”
“Hi Serge.”
“Hi Celena. Okay let’s go.” I lifted her off the bed and wrapped my arm around her and led her out of her room.
“Serge that’s not a good idea.” Mrs. Williams said as I walked Celena out the door.
“We’re going to walk it off Mrs. Williams. The coach has us do this all the time in Lacrosse.”
“This isn’t a physical injury...”
“I know that Mrs. Williams. We’ll be back in an hour.”
I talked to Celena about the clouds as we walked very slowly down the road. I explained the differences in the classifications. I knew she knew them as well as I did, but I kept talking anyway. She didn’t respond, instead she stared up at the sky making it harder to walk. The clouds that day were cirri form and sparse, a bore to view.
“Are you feeling any better now Celena?” I asked somewhere between Zelda and Danny’s hou
ses.
“I’m thirsty.”
“Let’s turn around, and I’ll take you home.”
After the long walk home in which Celena had taken an interest in every garden we passed, I got her a glass of water. I looked at her prescription bottles that sat by their coffee maker. I had never researched her condition. I knew my skills as a diagnostician were weak after my experience with the girls all those years before.
I did remember from reading about their respective mental illnesses that Celena probably had Borderline Personality Disorder or a Bipolar Disorder. I leaned towards Borderline Personality because Celena didn’t have the highs and lows typical of Bipolar disorders, but I didn’t assume anything one way or another. I didn’t like to think about it.