by Wendy Owens
Quickly I shove my phone into my handbag and force a smile.
“Right this way,” the hostess offers with a wave of her well-manicured hand. I envy her ability to enjoy her job. I smile and walk next to Aiden as we follow the petite and cheery brunette.
“Everything okay?” Aiden whispers. My back stiffens as I feel his warm breath on my neck, just below my ear.
I smile through my lie. “Fine.”
We sit. I glance at the single page menu, trying not to think about the multiple vibrations in my purse, indicating additional messages from Ben.
My mouth begins to water as I read the description of the roasted half chicken on top of mashed butternut squash and potatoes. I look up at Aiden. He runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes intensely narrowed at the page of delectable yumminess in front of him.
I bite my lip, apprehensively pulling my phone out into my lap, even though I know I shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself not to look at that damn screen. I can’t help it, I have to look.
* * *
Ben: I guess I’ll just start telling myself I’m over you and the way you look in that little black dress.
* * *
Damn him and damn this dress. Why didn’t I go with the torn jeans? Why did I have to switch to Ben’s favorite right before I left?
* * *
Ben: I’m not sure if it’s the way you felt in my arms or the way you always laughed at my jokes that’s making this so hard. Perhaps it’s the man you make me want to be. I can’t quit thinking about that crinkle in your nose when you smile, but if it’s what you truly want, I’ll try. I’ll keep telling myself I’m over you and hope I might start to believe it. I doubt that’s possible.
* * *
My head is spinning, and all of the air is leaving my chest as if I’ve been punched in the gut. Years together and he has never managed to put two romantic words together, let alone something so eloquent. I glance down at my black dress— the black dress. A tear escapes. Damn it Ben. My thoughts are swimming in a whirlpool of confusion.
“Kenzie,” Aiden begins. He can see me, through the smoke and the cloudy exterior I try to put up. He sees the pain, everyone can see it. I hate I can’t hide it. “What’s wrong?”
I gasp, shaking my head. My heart feels as if it’s shrinking into a pile of dead ash by the moment. “I’m so sorry. Just ignore me,” I force a laugh through my watery gaze and tight throat.
He reaches across the table, placing a hand just short of mine. I wonder if his skin is warm, if his flesh would be comforting to me or alarming. “I’m a pretty good listener,” he offers in a tender tone.
His sincerity surprises me. The concerned eyes and empathetic smile seem different from the man I worked alongside all day.
I laugh again, hoping it diminishes the perceived drama that I’m sure it must sound like I’m spewing. “Just guy trouble.”
“Ah, I see.” He sits back and smiles in a way that makes me think he has jumped to the wrong conclusion.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think you do.” I’m not one of those pathetic girls that desperately chases after a man who doesn’t want her, and from his glare, I can see he thinks I am exactly that pathetic.
He presses his lips together, crossing his arms. “Let me guess...” He taps his chin with a single finger as he studies me.
I lift my eyebrows. “This should be interesting,” I snark.
“No, come on now, give me a chance,” he continues. “I’m good at this stuff.”
“What stuff is that?”
“Reading people,” he answers.
“Is that right?”
He lifts his shoulders casually and shrugs, and I catch a quick flutter of his eyes. “I can’t help it. It’s a talent I was born with.”
I go to bite the inside of my jaw, trying to stop myself from throwing down the gauntlet, but it’s too late, my tongue is quicker than my teeth and the words leap from my mouth. “Okay then, let’s hear it. What is it you think my guy trouble is?”
“You don’t need me to tell you, you already know.”
I smirk though inside I’m relieved. “Exactly. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He’s no longer looking at me with humor in his eyes. There’s a seriousness to them now. Like the one he got when he was in work mode at the studio. “No Kenzie, I know exactly what I’m talking about.”
He leans forward, eyeing me from side to side. I swallow hard. He continues, folding his hands in front of him, “You thought you had met Mr. Right. Everything was headed toward that big final happily ever after and wedding bells. But something wasn’t right.”
He pauses. He doesn’t take his eyes off of me as I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I want to tell him he’s wrong, but so far he has hit the proverbial nail on the head.
“Something changed, though. Maybe him ... maybe you. Or maybe the problem was nothing ever changed. Regardless, you realized you wanted more, but he’s having a hard time letting go.” He shakes his head. “But what do I know, right?”
“How did you—” I stop myself, balling my trembling hand into a fist in my lap.
“I told you, it’s a skill,” he adds, offering a crooked smile.
“Actually, it sounds like a borderline stalkerish skill.” I taunt, attempting to redirect the attention away from the uncomfortable topic.
He shrugs, lifting one eye mischievously in my direction.
“Oh, I’m feeling much better now,” I laugh.
“Look, Kitten, you’re going—”
I interrupt. “Did you just call me kitten?”
“Wow,” he laughs shaking his head before burying his flushed face into his hands. “I must sound like a total jackass.”
“You could say that,” I agree.
“My girlfriend was Kitten.”
“Ugh, I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that you just accidentally called me by your girlfriend’s pet name or the fact that you had the pet name kitten for her,” I proclaim.
“No, that was her name,” he corrects me.
I gasp, nearly choking on my own spit. “Please tell me you’re pulling my leg,” I plead with him.
He lifts his hands in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t name her.”
“No, you actually chose to date someone with the name of a cute, cuddly animal.”
“So you’re into judging books by their covers?” he asks, his face suddenly serious again and I wonder if it’s too soon in our relationship to mock the name of his ex-girlfriend.
I stiffen, “I’m sorry, I just—”
He busts out laughing.
I toss my napkin at him. “Jerk.”
He shakes his head and continues, “No, she was pretty much a vapid person who only took interest in how a situation could benefit her.”
I smile. “So what you’re telling me is you have terrible taste in women.”
“No worse than yours in men,” he says smiling back.
I feel the need to defend Ben, but I remain silent. I should tell him that he isn’t a bad guy. He didn’t yell at me. He never would have thought of cheating on me. And in his way, he loves me. I say nothing.
“Hi, my name’s Mercedes, and I’ll be your waitress tonight.” I pull my lips together as the young and slender blonde stares at the ceiling as she tries to remember the specials she memorized only hours before. It was clearly a challenge.
She takes our drink orders while we think about our dinner choices. I keep my eyes focused on the menu until she scurries away to the bar. Exhaling wildly, I begin to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Aiden asks, but I can tell by the glint in his eyes he already knows why I’m laughing.
“Maybe she’s friends with Kitten,” I suggest.
He stiffens, a frown tickling the corners of his mouth.
I nibble at my bottom lip. “Too soon?” I ask, fighting back the laughter.
“That’s her best friend actually,” he says pointedly. �
��Well, they were friends, before Kitten decided she had deeper feelings for her.”
“Oh—” I lift a hand to my chest, my chin falling open. “I—I’m ...” What do you say to that?
Aiden’s eyes shift down to the floor, his shoulders drooping.
“I’m so sorry. Should we go somewhere else?” My words are interrupted when I hear a low snickering and his shoulders convulsing.
“God you’re easy,” he chuckles.
My eyes brighten when I see his smile. “And you’re an asshole,” I inform him.
“I can’t help it. You really are gullible.”
“Shut up and tell me what’s good here,” I demand.
“Depends, are you one of those girls who watches her carbs or are you more of a calorie counter?”
“Really? I thought you could read people,” I grin.
He tilts his head, obviously excited by the conquest I just threw at him. “Honestly, I get the vibe that you’re neither.”
“Go on.”
“You like what you like.”
“Seems like a fair analysis. So, what does a girl like me like on this menu?”
“Poutine.”
“Poo-whatie?” I laugh.
“Poutine. It’s french fries with cheese curds and gravy. It’s amazing with the braised short ribs and an egg on top.” My mouth waters as he explains the dish.
The waitress approaches with our drinks, and without hesitation I order the rich and delicious sounding option suggested by Aiden. This makes him smile. I don’t know why but it creates a warm feeling in my stomach. Or perhaps it’s the Moscow Mule I ordered burning the lining of my stomach.
He orders. We talk. We talk more. And there’s a part of me that desperately hopes this night won’t end. The effortless words of our conversation pour over me like soft snowflakes, covering the dead ground of my life, blinding me temporarily to the pain that’s hidden just below the surface.
I inhale. Then another breath.
The bill arrives, but we order another drink, and it makes me think he’s having a good time escaping too. Two people, both navigating life after a breakup, enjoying a laugh and a few drinks. It feels easy. It feels natural. I wish we could—
“I can’t believe we’ve talked about everything tonight except for the actual reason I invited you,” he interjects, breaking through my thoughts.
“What? You didn’t just invite me to dinner to enjoy an evening of my witty humor?”
“While it has been a delight being entertained by you, my reasons were much more deliberate and calculated.”
“It sounds so sinister when you say it that way,” I remark, immediately regretting the flirtatious tone coloring my words thanks to the most recent Moscow Mule.
He scans my face, and I can see that he senses it as well. Damn it. “I really am glad you invited me. The food was incredible.” I begin to ramble, a common technique I like to use to cover up my discomfort.
“I can’t believe you’ve never been here,” he notes, with surprise.
“I can’t believe you think I could ever afford a place like this,” I tease.
“I’m so sorry,” he nearly whispers. “I never thought about it.”
I wave a hand, rolling my eyes. “Why are we here?”
“Africa,” he says.
I look at his face, my head tilting. He stares back at me as if he has just revealed the most amazing word ever uttered in the human language.
“Switzerland,” I nearly shout.
A stitch of confusion sets across his strong brow. “What?”
“Oh, I thought that’s what we were doing,” I grin. “Shouting out random places.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m so glad I met you Kenzie,” he laughs again, and I believe his statement. “No, I’m going to Africa.”
“Congrats,” I state apprehensively, his declaration creating a twist in my stomach. I admit to myself, somewhere in the back of my mind I was hoping that we would be able to hang out again. He makes me laugh. Very little makes me laugh these days.
“Well, I mean, we’re going to Africa,” he clarifies.
I lean my head back, “I don’t understand, is Africa the name of some crazy new restaurant in town. Oh—wait, a club?”
“I have a photography job there. It’s going to last a few weeks, if not longer, and I need someone I can trust to come and assist me.”
“So you said hey, I know, I’ll ask this crazy chick that digs playing with dogs and has no clue what she’s doing with photography.” It takes me a moment to realize my tone is a bit harsher than I intend.
He nods enthusiastically. “It’s you or Kitten,” he laughs.
“Glad to know you wanted me over kitty-cat girl,” I huff, realizing the last drink had me cross the threshold from sweet, giggly and flirtatious, to downright bitchy drunk.
“Wow, okay,” he hesitates, unsure how to react.
“I’m sorry,” I attempt damage control. “It sounds like an unbelievable opportunity, but I’m not at all qualified. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I were.”
Aiden exhales a pained breath of air. “Kenzie, I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t think you could do it. Honestly, I know I’m desperate because the flight leaves in a couple of days, but I really wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t think you could do it. I take a lot of pride in the work I do.”
“O—Oh—I know ...” I stammer. “I ...”
“Look, I get it if something is keeping you here… I’ll be fine,” he offers.
Keeping me here. His words feel like they’re loaded. What is keeping me here? I told Ben we’re over. I don’t have a job. I wanted an adventure. What are you so scared of?
He continues, “I can find someone local once I get there. It’s—”
I shake my head, "That's not it."
“Do you have your shots?" he asks, looking pointedly at me.
"Umm..." I start. "Not really sure what you mean, but I am suddenly very worried one of the puppies had something I should be worried about."
He snickers. "Not those shots. Immunizations to travel."
I shake my head. "Like what?”
“For where we're going, you'll need Hep A and Typhoid.”
"First off, this is the weirdest conversation I've had in a while," I start.
"Noted." He grins and nods.
"Second, I helped in my mom's bakery, and she's a complete germ freak and made the family get the Hep A vaccine, but I'm quite certain I have never had a need arise to get vaccinated for Typhoid," I continue.
"Okay, not a problem, I can get you into the guy I use for all mine," Aiden offers.
"You have a shot guy?" I ask, trying not to laugh.
"Doesn't everyone?" he jokes, seeing the insanity in what he's saying.
"Does he administer them in some dirty alley behind a dumpster?"
"I'm sure he would if you asked him to," Aiden replies quickly. "But normally he works out of the Southside Clinic. I did some work for them a few years back."
"I don't know," I say not masking my hesitation.
"What don't you know?" Aiden seems puzzled by my response. "You have a passport, right?"
I nod. "Yeah, I just got back from England, but this is so fast."
"Look, don't worry about it, I completely understand. We worked really well together today so I just thought—"
“I’ll do it!” I exclaim, lifting my hands to cover my mouth immediately, in complete shock, unsure what in the hell just came over me.
“You don’t want to know what it pays first?” He laughs. I think to tell him that it doesn’t matter what it pays because anything would be a pay increase from nothing.
Instead, I gleefully say, “Yes, please! How much does it pay?”
We discuss the details of the trip, the job, and the pay. I do my best not to reveal how excited I am that it pays more than the minimum wage jobs I’m used to. In all honesty, though, none of that matters. I wanted a change. I wanted an ad
venture. And here it is. I’m going to Africa. I smile, resisting the urge to scream and wrap my arms around Aiden’s neck and squeeze him close to me. Doubt and fear will certainly come crashing in on me soon enough, but for now, at this moment, I'm so excited that it takes all of my energy to stop me from vibrating.
Chapter Twelve
Aiden
* * *
“I just think you could have handled things better with Kitten,” the man doesn’t surprise me often, but he has succeeded in doing so when I hear the words leave my father’s mouth. He was a villain to my mother, so lecturing me on relationships was laughable, to say the least. “You know I’m the one that has to see her father at the club.”
“Ahh,” I breathe into the phone. “And there it is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Father asks defensively.
“For a second, I thought Walter William Calloway might be concerned about his son’s well-being. Leave it to you to always prove that the only person you will ever give a damn about is yourself. Thank goodness you quickly put that thought to rest,” I quip.
“That’s not fair.”
“No!” I exclaim. “What’s not fair is that you think you get a say in my life.” I hear a growl of frustration on the other end of the phone, and I can’t stop myself from smiling.
“I know it ...” he begins before trailing off in silence. This man is not one to bite his tongue. Kitten’s father must really have something he wants. Usually, with him, that would be money. I’m not sure how that could be since my father has more money than anyone else I have ever met. That being said, he’s always been interested in having more of it.
“Look, I have a lot of things to get ready before my trip. Did you need something else?” I say, my patience growing thin.
I hear him take a deep breath in an attempt to cool his nerves. My father is normally a cool and calculating man. I am blessed with the talent of pushing his buttons, a trait I inherited from my mother. “I just wanted to see if you would reconsider taking Kitten with you. I’m not asking you to get back together with her, just let her work this last job with you. It would go a long way with her father if—”