by Wendy Owens
“I’m not sure who told you life is fair sweetheart, but you have got a rough road ahead of you,” I taunt. “Ahh, here it is,” I add, retrieving a camera body from one of the bags.
“Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a fun trip. Are we working?” she whines, hoping for a hint.
“I thought work was fun?” I toss back at her.
“It is—” she starts. “But I was thinking exotic festival, street fair, dancing.”
I laugh and raise an eyebrow, then reply, “Dancing?”
“Oh come on, with a body like that you have to be a good dancer.”
I flush red knowing she’s noticed my body as well.
“Where is that damn lens?” I mutter.
She huffs, sitting upright. “Which one are you hunting for?”
“The 70-300mm.” I answer sharply, frustrated the surprise is being ruined.
“You don’t use that one,” she corrects me then sighs, standing up and sorting through my open bags.
“I want that one,” I insist.
“Fine.” She moves a bag to one side, unzips another, and as if she knew exactly where it was all along, pulls it from its hiding spot. “Here you go.”
I sigh. “Damn it, are you serious?”
She shrugs. “What? I’m the one that cleans up after you, of course I know where everything is.”
Clicking the lens in place onto the Canon 7D camera body I look up at her. She’s watching me intensely now. “Here,” I say and immediately want to slap myself on the forehead.
She shakes her head, taking the camera from me, supporting it with both hands. “So we are working tonight?”
“Kenzie,” her name comes out as an exasperated sigh, and I wish I could eat it out of existence and try again. “It’s yours. I’m giving it to you.”
“What?” She questions before sarcasm taking over, “Yeah right, you’re just going to give me an expensive camera.”
I frown. “I am.”
Her mouth twists. “Why?”
I smile though I’m sure from her expression she can see I’m uncomfortable.
“Because I see something when I look at you,” I answer plainly.
“A booger hanging out of my nose? Because right now you must take me for a fool. Haha, so funny, you got me,” she quips, trying to shove the camera back in my direction.
I laugh, shaking my head. “I’m serious. You’re good. Really good. I wish it had come as naturally to me when I started as it seems to come to you.”
“Why would you do this?” She asks skeptically, now pulling the camera back into her chest.
“I want to help you matter.” The words eke out of my mouth in almost a whisper.
Her eyes glass over as she turns and places the camera on the bed. I stop breathing when she approaches me. My arms are hanging at my sides when she slams her head into my chest and forces her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” she says. I place my arms around her, and I can’t stop myself from thinking how right it feels. She pushes me back and scoops up the camera. Over her shoulder, I hear her say, “I should punch you for that.”
“Please don’t,” I laugh, sidestepping her.
Her face is red, and I can see she’s embarrassed. “Now where are we going?” She laughs through a snotty breath, and I can tell she’s trying not to cry.
“It’s a surprise!” I say again more forcefully.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kenzie
* * *
I can’t quit staring at the camera bag between us. Hidden inside is my camera. Mine. Not just some lame ass camera I would have gone and picked up at my local Walmart. This is a serious photographer’s camera. A camera that requires those who see me with it to recognize I’m to be taken seriously. A camera that screams I’m one bad ass photographer and you’d best recognize that fact.
A voice in the back of my mind nags at me. It’s too much. I can’t accept such an extravagant gift. Is there a hidden meaning behind it? What if there is? What if I want there to be? The thoughts race through my mind, causing my heartbeat to pick up.
“You okay?” Aiden breaks the silence just as he hits a bump in the road and my butt leaves the seat, flying up into the air, thanks to the complete lack of shocks on the SUV. I lunge for the camera bag as if it were an infant about to be devoured by a crocodile. Glancing up at Aiden, I catch him smiling back at me.
“I don’t think I can accept this,” I manage at last.
“You don’t think you can or you can’t?” he attempts to clarify in sarcasm.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want to. It’s amazing. But—” I pause, shaking my head, “—it’s too much.”
“It’s an extra camera, Kenzie. Stop making it such a big deal.”
“It is a big deal!” I exclaim. He has no idea how big a deal it is. “Then let me buy it from you.”
He laughs.
“Hey, why is that funny? I’m working.”
“But I pay you, so isn’t that kind of silly? It would be like me buying it off myself.”
“Screw you!” I huff. “I work hard for you. I earn the money you pay me.”
“I didn’t mean to say you didn’t,” he adds. “Please, will you let me do this for you?”
I shake my head, firm in my conviction. “How much would you sell it for?”
“This is silly,” he insists.
“How much?” I demand.
He sighs, obviously frustrated, “I don’t know, the entire set up, two grand.”
I pause, still processing the massive number. “Okay, that’s a little more than I expected. Can we do payments?”
“Kenzie, really?” Aiden chirps. “Will you please quit being so stubborn and just say thank you?”
“I’m not being stubborn,” I argue.
“Damn it woman, can we just enjoy tonight and talk about this later?”
“Did you just call me woman?” I ask, not hiding the disgust from my expression.
“Okay, upon reflection, that was a very poor choice of words.”
“Ya think?” I snarl.
“Please, I’m begging you. Let’s just have fun tonight. We can talk about all of this tomorrow.”
Fine.” I grimace, crossing my arms. “But I’m not going to forget this.” I look around, realizing we’re driving out toward the nature preserve the Bushmen live on. “Where exactly are we going again?”
“You can’t tell?”
“Well, either we’re going to visit Jumanda or the camera was just a ruse to get me to come out to the desert where you planned to kill me.”
“And we’re back to the stabby comments,” Aiden replies.
I nod.
“And here I thought I was the perceptive one,” he teases.
“It’s getting dark,” I advise him as if he weren’t already aware of this fact.
“I know you were hoping I was taking you out to chop you up, but I’m taking you out for some night shooting.”
“Shooting what? I mean, what is out at night in Africa? Pardon me if I think this sounds just a wee bit terrifying.” I realize I’m rambling.
He’s laughing now. I love the lines that gather around his eyes and mouth when he laughs. A thought pops into my mind, and I flush red. I wonder if those same lines appear when he has an orgasm. He’s your boss. I remind myself. I seem to be reminding myself of this fact a lot. A boss who believes in you so much he is trying to gift you a camera worth thousands of dollars. A boss that looks incredibly good in a towel.
“If we’re lucky, we can get some shots of a few leopards. But who knows, last time I was out here at night all I got were aardvarks and honey badgers,” Aiden answers.
I immediately start laughing.
“Did I say something funny?” he asks with a puzzled glance.
“Honey badgers don’t care,” I gasp.
He looks at me from the corner of his eye, then back at the road, as if I were a mad
woman wearing my dress over my head. “So do you just sit around all day looking at internet memes.”
I purse my lips. “What does it say about you that you know exactly what I’m talking about?”
He shakes his head. “That my life is very, very sad indeed.”
“Don’t worry,” I chime in a gleeful tone, scooting a little closer and placing my hand on his arm for a brief moment. “We’ll have sad lives together.”
“Perfect.”
It is perfect. Too damn perfect. This is rebound brain Kenzie talking. He’s your boss and a friend. Don’t screw it up. Damn it, why do I want to screw it up so freaking bad?
Chapter Thirty
Kenzie
* * *
“Should we head back?” he asks looking at me.
“Do we have to?” I ask, only half joking.
I catch a glimpse of his glare and something tells me he doesn’t want this night to end either. “I’m actually pretty tired. Would you be alright if we stay the night in the truck and then head back in the morning?”
“I’m game if you are,” I agree, worried I may have sounded too eager. As we make our way back to the truck, the excitement of the night causes a flutter in my stomach. Nobody has ever done something so thoughtful for me. Ben would remember anniversaries with flowers, and never forgot a birthday, but a gesture like tonight, it is enough to make me want to …
I’m not sure what it makes me want to do, but I am certain it would lead to a lot of complications. As we prepare the back of the truck to sleep, I start wondering if Aiden is feeling the same way as me. Is he curious what my lips might taste like? Is that why he suggested we stay in the bush?
“I need a potty break,” I confess sheepishly and smile.
“Oh,” he says. “Umm… do you need me to go with you?”
“I think I can handle it,” I reply and try not to laugh.
“Okay,” he shrugs, climbing into the back of the SUV and lying down. “If you want to stick close to the truck, I promise I won’t peek. Much.”
He flashes me a devilish grin and I am overwhelmed with satisfaction at his flirtation.
“Yeah right,” I huff.
“Have it your way,” he rolls over onto his side. “But watch out for scorpions.”
I freeze, flipping the flashlight on my phone on and shining it frantically around my feet, nearly dropping my baggie holding wipes. “Not helping!” I exclaim. I can hear a low, growling laugh from inside the SUV.
As soon as I find a suitable location to relieve my bladder, then ensure it’s clear of small pinch and biting critters and actually pee, I finish then make my way back to the truck and my mind has thought of about a million scenarios of how tonight will go down.
Perhaps Aiden will be waiting for me naked. There would be no mistaking his intentions at that point. Maybe he will be subtler and try to kiss me or flirt with me more. What if he waits for me to make the first move? Could I? Would I?
Rounding the open hatch door of the SUV, I can’t help but smile when I catch a glimpse of Aiden inside, fast asleep. Sliding in and securing the rear door to the truck I settle in for the night, a smile permanently plastered on my face.
Chapter Thirty-One
Aiden
* * *
I’m entranced by the rise and fall of her back as she sleeps. My eyes trace the line that travels down her waist and curves up into her full hip. She’s beautiful. I hold my breath as she shifts and turns over on her other side. She’s still asleep. I exhale, relieved. The tranquility on her face is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The Amazon River at dawn, the Mamanuca Islands in Fiji at dusk, the coastline of Greece, they all pale in comparison to this creature in front of me.
With the memories of my mother long ago faded, I’m left with only a handful of pictures to remind me of her. She’s only smiling in one, but it’s how I like to remember her. It’s haunting how much Kenzie’s smile reminds me of hers. I can’t help wondering if it’s real, or simply the way the image captured Mom that day.
I lean back and close my eyes, but my heart starts to race. Kenzie reminding me of my mother isn’t what scares me. I’m terrified hiding deep in the recesses of my psyche there’s a monster lurking. I am my father’s son after all. Could I be like him? I’ve never been a good partner to anyone. Love has never made sense. I’ve seen the way it can twist and pervert people. I avoid looking in the mirror most days, but that doesn’t change the fact I see parts of him reflecting back at me when I do manage to catch a glimpse. Did he give me more than my strong jaw and nose shape? I have my mother’s eyes. At least there’s that. Is that all I have of her, though?
Kenzie’s socks rarely match, but I don’t think she even notices. I’ve only known her for a short time, but I can already finish her thoughts. And just when I think I’ve figured her out, she will say something so completely off the wall I know it will never matter how well I know her, she will always keep me guessing.
I see her everywhere, even when I close my eyes. It makes no sense how she can affect me so deeply in such a short amount of time. I’m not the kind of man that gets twisted up by a woman, but here I am, looking at a creature that I’m pretty certain I would do anything she asked. The more I push her away, the more she has me in the palm of her hands.
She has the ability that no matter who is in the room with us, my attention always returns and settles on her. The things she says are always the most interesting to me. Her smile, the brightest. She’s confident but doesn’t seem to fully understand just how beautiful she is. I never imagined anything could feel as right as my life does when she’s with me.
My chest aches as I think about the scary truth that could exist and I’m too afraid to ask. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Wouldn’t working alongside her be better than losing her altogether? She’s coming off the biggest relationship of her life, the last thing she’s thinking about is who is going to be the next man to warm her bed.
My heart skitters as she opens her eyes, peering at me as I loom above her. Move away. I think to myself. My body doesn’t respond to the command. Last night was perfect. I gave her an evening of perfect fun. I don’t want to ruin it now. Panic floods over me in an uncertain wave.
I swallow hard, wishing she would say something.
“Morning,” she moans.
I smile at her. There’s less than a foot between us and I wonder if I’m the only one who notices. She shifts up onto one of her hips, propping up on an elbow, and resting her head on an open palm. We’re even closer now. My flesh is on fire, but I try not to let it show.
“Good morning,” I reply with a casual sigh. I waited too long to reply to her, I think. She’s going to think that’s weird. Her brow furrows. Damn it, she noticed.
“You must have been tired last night,” she says, with a tender smile. God, what was I thinking? How could I ever have thought I could keep this relationship strictly business? She’s breathtaking.
I nod, shifting my hips in hopes she can’t see the morning wood that has seemed to linger a little too long with her next to me. “Yeah, I’ve always been that way. Once I’m ready to crash, I’m pretty much out. Did you have trouble falling asleep?”
She lifts her eyebrows as though she’s surprised. “Actually, no. It didn’t take me long at all, which is amazing because I tend to toss and turn.”
“Maybe it’s because I was next to you,” I joke and then wish more than anything that I could take it back, certain I sounded like a fool.
She tilts her head. She’s still smiling, that’s a good sign. She falls back onto her back, folding her hands over her stomach.
“Maybe,” she says at last. “This place is pretty magical, isn’t it?”
I wasn’t sure she would enjoy night photographing at the reserve, but after seeing her last night, leaping around, excited as a child on Christmas morning, I was certain I hadn’t misjudged her. “Yeah, it is amazing. Every time I come it’s even harder to go back to my life,
” I answer.
She’s looking at me. I have never felt mightier than I do when her eyes are locked on me. I think I see something there. A glimmer, a spark that is saying she feels the same as I do. But what if I’m wrong? The fear still looming.
I lean in closer; I’m nearly hovering above her. She doesn’t speak. Damn it, I wish she would say something. I wish I could think of something to say. Why did I lean in? This is so awkward. I should say something. Her eyes are still fixed on me. In an instant, she removes all question, all doubt, when her back arches and she lifts herself until her lips meet mine.
Without breaking our kiss, and before she changes her mind, my hand slides around and beneath her to offer her frame additional support. Shifting, I move in, she wraps her outside leg around my waist, using her calf to pull me closer into her body. Adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
There’s no longer any mistaking her intentions. It’s clear by the way she kisses me that she wants this as much as I do. I don’t waste another second, pulling up on her t-shirt, huffing in frustration when I realize it’s wedged between us. In a flustered groan, she pushes me up enough to prop herself up and tear away the shirt. When I see her tugging at the button of her pants, I don’t hesitate to join her in her undressed state.
The moments move quickly. I worry if either of us stop long enough to actually think about what we’re doing, we may stop ourselves.
It takes only seconds before her legs are bent and wrapped around me. Our lips press against one another again, and it’s as if we’ve been in the desert for a thousand years and only the other’s lips can quench this thirst. Peering down into her oversized, almond-shaped eyes, I’m lost for a moment. Is this only momentary lust or does she feel the same connection I do? I have a thousand questions I dare not ask for fear of what the answer may be.
She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling on it. She’s driving me crazy. All I can think about is being inside her.