At that, she frowned. “What is the man thinking, to put you off like that? You’re Wrotham. I will give him a strong word tomorrow when he comes.”
Ignoring her pique at the physician, he instead moved the conversation to the topic foremost on his mind. “Please tell me that you had no hand in what occurred tonight, Grandmama. Otherwise, I’m not sure our connection can continue.”
Her frown of irritation at the doctor turned into one of shock.
“What did you say to me?” she asked, clutching her walking stick until her knuckles turned white.
But Alex had no stomach for the kind of dramatic displays she enjoyed so much. “I asked because your answer will mean the difference between your being welcome in my house—mine and Merry’s—and spending the rest of your days cut off from this family. I dislike seeming cruel, but you must know that your previous behavior where Merry is concerned has given me a suspicion of you that may never be erased.”
Suddenly looking her age, Lady Wrotham moved slowly to the large chair nearest her and dropped into it.
“I now can see how low I’ve sunk in your estimation,” she said, her voice weary. “And I deserve it, I suppose. I’ve not precisely behaved with honor where the standing of this family is concerned. But on the grave of your father, and my late husband, Alexander, I am not so far gone that I’d risk the life of an infant simply to keep you away from that dowd you’re determined to marry.”
Alex, for once, didn’t doubt the sincerity of her response. Perhaps it was the defeat in the set of her shoulders. Or the lack of the defiant chin lift he’d seen as the harbinger of some withering scold or lecture on his own bad behavior. Whatever the sign, he knew she was, for once, being absolutely honest with him.
“I’ll let that slight against Merry go unremarked,” he said tightly. “You have made yourself clear for years now how much you dislike the idea that she will become the next Viscountess Wrotham. But your influence on that matter no longer exists.”
“Clearly,” she said with a twist of her lips.
“But,” he continued, “I am relieved to hear you so vociferously deny the charge that you were involved in tonight’s ordeal. And, as surprising as it might be, I believe you.”
Though his words weren’t particularly kind, she nevertheless relaxed upon hearing them. Perhaps there was some remaining shred of morality within her, he thought.
“I have done many things good and bad, Wrotham,” she said with a disappointed expression, “but I do not believe I’ve ever given you reason to think I would harm an innocent child.”
As if recognizing that he had once been just such a being, she amended her remark. “An infant, I mean.”
Not wanting to get back into the tangled web of her sins in his childhood, he merely nodded. “I know what you meant. And I thank you for telling me the truth.”
He turned to leave, and she made a sound of surprise. “That is all? No more recriminations? No more shaming?”
As he reached the door, he looked back. “Not tonight. Tonight you were innocent. Let us appreciate that for now.”
* * *
Merry was frozen. She couldn’t move her arms or legs. And despite her arms hanging at her sides, baby Lottie was curled against her chest, whimpering with the cold.
Though she knew it made no sense, she was no longer wearing her warm cloak, but was instead wearing a thin muslin morning gown, and the cold of the icehouse bit into her arms like so many sharp icicles.
“Merry,” said Katherine from where she lay shivering on the dirt floor, “wake up.”
She frowned. Why was Katherine telling her to . . .
“Wake up,” she said again, only this time, her voice sounded different . . . lower.
With relief she recognized it was Alex’s voice.
“Merry, my love.” She felt his breath against her ear. “Wake up.”
And she opened her eyes, recognizing that she was in her bedchamber at Wrotham Keep.
But she wasn’t alone.
An involuntary shiver ran through her at the fractured memory of her dream, and she felt Alex’s arms tighten around her.
He was, she realized, on top of the counterpane, while she was beneath the covers in her nightclothes.
“You’re in my bed,” she said, into his neck. Then immediately felt foolish for it. Surely, he knew that much.
“I am,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. He kissed the top of her head, then continued, “I will leave if you wish it.”
And he began to pull away from her, causing Merry to snake her arms around his neck.
“Of course I don’t,” she said, looking into his face, and seeing the relief in his eyes reflected by the light from the snow outside the window. “Though I don’t understand why you’re here.”
She watched as his mouth twitched into a rueful smile. “I needed to see you. To watch over you.”
Her heart gave a flip at this admission. His protective behavior earlier had, of course, made her feel safe, though she’d been too overwhelmed with cold and fatigue to say so. But it was clear from his every action—even from the day she’d arrived on his doorstep—that Alex cared for her.
And suddenly, all her resistance to falling for him again melted away. She’d been worried that once he learned why she’d jilted him he’d have no choice but to cut her off. But she realized now that her fears had been less about him rejecting her once he heard the truth, than about her own fear of what might happen if he didn’t.
She’d lost him thanks to her own naïveté and foolishness once before, and she now recognized that fear of losing him again had made her try to keep him at arm’s length.
“Do you love me, Alex?” she asked, feeling both terrified and exhilarated at what he might say.
He tilted his head and his frown gave way to a soft laugh. “My dear girl, I’ve been trying to prove that to you since you showed up at my door with an infant in your arms! I don’t know how much more I can do to prove it to you.”
And suddenly, Merry knew that no amount of interference from his grandmother, or schemes by jealous young ladies, could break them apart.
It had been five long years that she’d lived without him, and she still loved him as much as she’d ever done. And despite all her doubts, he loved her, too.
“Do you love me?” he asked her suddenly. “For I am suddenly reminded that neither of us has been particularly transparent about our true feelings. No matter how much our actions have spoken.”
And unable to stop herself, she kissed him.
It was impulsive, but it felt more right than anything she’d done in a long time. And soon, the soft meeting of lips had shifted into something more raw, her mouth opened at the soft touch of his tongue, and she gave herself over to the heady excitement of feeling him pressed against every inch of her.
When they were both breathless, he pulled away from her with a groan of what sounded like pain. “I cannot stay much longer without embarrassing myself. And I know you are still too fatigued after last night for . . .”
He left whatever it was she was too tired for to the air.
But Merry would have none of it. “I am not too tired,” she said with a slight frown. “And perhaps I want exactly what you want, Alex. I am a lady, but I am flesh and blood.”
He slid his hand over the soft curve of her breast, and closed his eyes at the feel of it. “I know that all too well, Merry. But I won’t stay here with you. Not unless you agree that you’ll be my wife. That is my condition. I know I said I’d give you time, that I’d court you. But too much has happened.” Alex kissed her softly. “Do you love me, Merry? Will you be my wife, at long last? No matter what anyone else might say or do to separate us?”
Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. “Yes. I will marry you, Alex. And I give you my word that whatever weakness there was in me five years ago is long gone. I think it disappeared the moment I left Wrotham Keep. Though it took me five years to realize it.”
<
br /> “Never let me hear you blame what happened on weakness,” he told her, even as he pulled her against him in triumph. “The blame for that goes on one person’s head. But we will speak of that later.
“Now,” he said, his voice going low and sending a chill born of desire down the ridges of her spine. “Now is for only us.”
* * *
Alex somehow managed to get both himself and Merry out of their clothes in minutes, and at the first sensation of her soft skin against his—from head to toe—he gave a groan of relief. As if he’d finally quenched a thirst he’d never known he had.
Flipping over from where they’d been lying side by side so that Merry was beneath him, he gazed down at her compact, curvy body and was struck by a moment of disbelief. Finally. She was naked in his bed—well, her bed in his house—and she would be his.
Merry flushed under his gaze. “I hope you are pleased,” she said softly, though her nose tipped up a little with pride. “And if you aren’t . . .”
He kissed her before she could finish the sentence. “You are beautiful, and perfect,” he said against her mouth. Then taking her hand from his bicep, he lowered it to where his erection jutted between them. “Feel how beautiful I think you are, Merry. Feel me.”
Her eyes widened as he closed her hand around him. And then Alex couldn’t observe her because he was too overwhelmed by her soft, exploring hand on him. He gave an involuntary thrust of his hips before gently stroking her hand up and off of him.
“No more of that,” he said in a strained voice, “or this will be over even sooner than I’d planned.”
“But I liked it,” she said, moving her hips beneath him to fit herself against him.
He gave a little curse, and took her mouth, determined to make it good for her. And to acquit himself better than a green lad with his first seduction.
Soon, she relaxed into him, and as she explored his chest with her hands, he lifted his own to stroke over her naked breasts. Thinking all the while, in some distant corner of his mind, This is Merry. My Merry. Mine.
* * *
Merry gave herself over to the building desire Alex’s every touch ignited in her. She closed her eyes, and gave a little gasp as he kissed his way from her mouth to the spot just below her ear that made her squirm, and then down, down to the tight bud of her breast.
When he took it in his mouth, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to slide her fingers into his soft hair and hold him to her as he sucked, licked, and lightly bit at her sensitive flesh.
This was what she had been waiting for. This, just the two of them, alone, together, with nothing between them but skin and heat.
“I love you,” she said as her body rose up to meet his stroking fingers .
She was wet there, where he touched her, but she was beyond embarrassment. This was Alex who touched her. The only man she’d ever loved. And as his breath roughened with every lift of her hips, she knew he was just as overcome by this sensation as she was.
“Love you,” he whispered over her skin as he moved his way down over her ribs, stopping to graze his tongue over the button of her navel, and then, so quickly she had no time to be shocked, over her aching center.
Once, twice, he stroked his tongue over her slickness, and then, dipped inside her. When he stroked a finger where his tongue had been, she gasped. Her body had long ago given in to the need to move, and the pull of his mouth on her as he added another finger sent her careening past the point of awareness. Only sensation and mindless pleasure filled her mind as her body moved without conscious thought.
And Merry fell.
When she came back to herself, Alex had moved his body up over her again, and his knees were between hers as he lifted her body to meet his erection.
He kissed her, and gave her a desperate smile. “I am sorry, my dear, but I cannot wait any longer.” He leaned his forehead to meet hers and said with regret, “There may be pain. I’ve heard there might be the first time. But I promise to give you the same sort of pleasure you just had before it’s over.”
Unable to speak, she nodded and pulled his mouth to hers for an open-mouthed kiss that she hoped would reassure him. She was ready to go anywhere with him. Even to the point of pain.
Then, finding her voice, Merry said against his mouth, “Make me yours, Alex.”
And with a sigh of relief, he brought her knees over his hips and pressed slowly, inexorably into her.
Her initial sensation was one of discomfort, and fullness. But it wasn’t unpleasant. Indeed, she thought as she gave a gasp at the clench of her body around his, it felt good. It felt right.
And then with one last thrust, he was fully seated inside her. And unable to stop herself, Merry lifted her hips in a decadent press for more.
At that one motion, Alex gave a soft curse and began to move within her, and to her surprise, she felt the same sort of building within her as before, and together, they climbed higher and higher until she crested the peak again. Through the haze of pleasure she heard him cry out.
And then she was lost to anything but sensation.
* * *
After making love to Merry once more—how he could have resisted the hesitant touch of her hand on his body while they were both drowsy with sleep, he didn’t know—Alex slipped quietly from her rooms with a promise to see her at breakfast.
Once he’d bathed and dressed for the day, he headed for his study.
To his surprise, he found his cousin was already there, staring out the mullioned windows behind his desk at the parkland beyond the Keep.
“Will?” he asked, his joy from last night tarnishing a little with worry for his cousin. “Is aught amiss?”
But the moment his cousin turned, he could see that for the first time in a long while, Will looked . . . happy.
“You may well ask that,” William said with a grin. “But, no. I came here hoping to find you and then was taken in by the view. I’d forgot how beautiful the park can be in winter.”
Relieved, Alex shut the door behind him and, as he’d intended before finding the room occupied, he walked to the Constable landscape hanging on the far wall and removed it, revealing a safe, hidden in the wall behind it.
“What did you need me for?” Alex asked, then turned the dial with the correct combination. A click sounded and he pulled open the door.
Instead of answering, Will waited while Alex removed a large flat jewelry case from the interior and carried it to the desk.
“She left this behind when she fled five years ago,” Alex said, almost to himself, as he lifted a sapphire ring from the case.
Will said nothing. But Alex saw him wince at the admission.
“It’s a hell of a thing to have the woman you love return your ring,” Alex said, closing the case. “But I’m confident this time she’ll keep it.”
“Because she’s snowed in?” asked his cousin with a raised brow. “That will only account for a week or so.”
“Ha-ha,” Alex said with a roll of his eyes.
Then, his visage turned gravely serious. “No, because I’m confident Grandmama knows better now than to try to turn her against me again.”
“What do you mean, again?” Will demanded.
“I don’t know how exactly, but I’m now almost certain that the dowager did something—maybe threatened or coerced—to make Merry leave me five years ago.”
“I knew she could be a bully,” Will said with a shake of his head, “but I never thought she’d risk your happiness. And it was clear to anyone that you were happy with Miss Parks.” but I.”
Alex knew, however, that Lady Wrotham was capable of anything when the family’s reputation was concerned. But his mother’s story was best left in the past. Unless she chose to come to England. He’d already invited her, but she’d demurred. His wedding, however, might be enough to tempt her.
“She is ruthless,” Alex said aloud. “Grandmama has, for too long, considered Wrotham Keep her own personal demesne. That
is about to stop.”
“Better you than me,” Will said with a shudder.
Taking the jewelry box back to the safe, Alex asked over his shoulder, “What did you want to ask me?”
When he turned, Will still hadn’t answered. Alex waited.
“I was wondering if you’d be willing to act as Lottie’s godfather,” his cousin said in a rush, as if he’d been nervous about asking. “I know firsthand that you’re quite good at guidance when one needs it, and if anything should happen to me . . .”
But Alex cut him off with a hug. “Of course, you cloth head. I would be honored to be your daughter’s godfather.”
When Will pulled away, he was smiling. “Good. Now that’s settled, I need only ask Miss Parks. I think she’d appreciate it because of her friendship with Charlotte.” Will’s expression turn remorseful at the mention of his wife. “I know I cannot undo the harm I did to Charlotte, or to Lottie. But I intend to do my best to ensure that Lottie has every protection owed to her as my daughter. And that means a proper home, and a proper family.”
“Of course,” Alex said with a nod. “She will always be welcome here. She is a Ponsonby and will be treated as such.”
Will reddened a little. “I do mean this family, of course. But I meant with me, and perhaps if I’m lucky, a mother as well.”
That made Alex’s eyes widen. “Lady Katherine?”
“If she’ll have me,” Will said with a grin. “Or rather, if her father will have me. I’m quite sure they were set on having a viscount in the family. I’m not sure the tarnished grandson of a viscount will be looked on quite as favorably.”
But Christmas was a time for hope, and Alex, who had managed to win back the love he thought was gone forever, was brimming with it.
“I have faith in you, old fellow,” he told his cousin with a clap on the shoulder. “If I can win back Merry, then anything is possible.”
Chapter Eleven
Despite her protests that she felt quite well—especially given how she’d spent the hours of the early morning—Merry allowed the physician Alex had called for to examine her. Once he’d proclaimed her to be in excellent health considering the time she’d spent in the icehouse, she dressed and went downstairs. She’d already had toast and tea in her room, and when she entered the drawing room, it was to find the party assembled with a few exceptions: Miss Delaford and her parents among them.
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