by A. L Long
My eyes slowly opened, realizing that I hadn’t been dreaming at all. Sitting beside me, looking as though he lost his best friend, was Xavier. As I looked down, his hand was in mine. I quickly pulled it away, feeling that his touch would bring me closer to him. Standing to my feet, I had to do something. I couldn’t let him know the effect he was having on me.
Walking away, I tried my damnedest not to turn around when he said, “Tessa, please hear me out.”
Stopping, I took a deep breath and replied, “There is nothing to say, Xavier.”
When he pleaded, with remorse, “Tessa, please. I should have told you, but I was afraid you would never accept me for my mistakes and I would lose you forever,” my willingness to take another step was gone.
Turning to face him, I allowed him to say what he needed to say. “You can say what you need to say, but it won’t change the fact that you lied.”
Pacing back and forth, making a trail of his own in the soft dirt around the fire pit, I watched him struggle with how to begin. He had to know that it was just as hard for me as it was for him. Walking away from him would be the hardest thing I had ever done. He was the one man that I loved and cared about.
Taking a deep breath, he began his explanation. “It began about a year ago. My brother, Ryan and I worked together at Jagged Edge Security. He knew I was in trouble and he got me a job with the security company, hoping that I would see how much he cared about what happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, the guys that worked there were great, but I didn’t feel like part of the team. Anyway, we were on this job and it involved a lot of cash. I got involved with some shady characters and I saw an easy way out, so I took some of it.”
“What does this have to do with Mr. Colin and you?” I asked, trying to figure out if I wanted to listen to his explanation.
“Colin didn’t come into play until I moved to LA. I regret ever meeting him, but he was the only way that I could live,” he answered.
Pulling his shirt up, he revealed a scar on his abdomen that I had wondered about, but I’d never asked him what happened. Placing my hand on the scar, I looked at him and asked. “Did Mr. Colin do this to you?”
“In a way, yes, but not in the way that you think. Colin saved me. I needed a liver fast and the only way to get one was on the black market. I couldn’t wait for one to become available and instead of walking away, I made a trade. My life in exchange for whatever he needed.” Xavier’s comfort level began to decrease as he lowered his shirt. I still didn’t know what their connection was.
“I don’t understand, Xavier.”
“Colin owned me. He knew that I would never be able to pay the $125,000 for the liver so in exchange I did some things for him, only it was never enough. He knew about my past and whenever I told him I was done, he held it against me. I was trapped.”
“Why did you change your name?” Everything was beginning to make sense, but it didn’t explain why he changed his name.
“The people I took the money from found out, and in order to get out of the mess I made, I faked my own death. My biggest mistake was telling Ryan, but I couldn’t let him think I was dead. I begged him not to come after me. I guess I should have known that he would,” Xavier explained.
“So, that is why your brother showed up?” I questioned.
“I thought he was my brother, but I found out a year ago that I was adopted when I was young. My real mom rotted in prison. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”
There was silence between us, as I tried to digest what Xavier was telling me. I didn’t know whether to be angry or feel sorry for him. His life, in a way, was no different than mine. He was also deceived. The circumstances were different, but the outcome was the same. He had lost his real mom, not knowing her at all. He was lucky though, at least he was raised by a couple that loved him, and it was evident that there was love based on Ryan coming to see him.
“So, what are you going to do?” Even though things were done between us, I still cared for him and needed to know what he was going to do.
“With Colin out of the picture, I no longer have to worry about doing his dirty work. Ryan and I had a long talk. He finally realized that I can’t go back to New York. My life is here now, and with Direction 96, I can focus my efforts on making it the hottest spot in LA.” Pausing for a moment, he turned to me. “Nothing would make me happier than for you to be a part of it. I need you in my life, Tessa. Not even the club matters more than you.”
As sincere as he was, I didn’t know what to say. My heart had been torn in two and I knew that there was a chance that he would rip it completely from my chest if I let him in again. I needed to decide if it would be worth the love I had for him.
~Six~
When I got back to the house, after telling Xavier that it was better that he left, I couldn’t help but think about him and wonder if I had made the right decision by telling him that I needed time to think. At least I had enough will power to do that. It was the hardest thing to do, especially when he gently kissed me on the forehead and accepted my wish by letting me know that no matter how long it took, he would be waiting for me.
Seeking out my father, I needed someone to talk to that I could trust. Even though we had just begun to know each other, he was the one person I felt comfortable in confiding in. I knew that my father would be honest with me and guide me in doing the right thing. When I ran into Agnes and asked where he was, she thought that he might have been in the sitting room. Heading that way, I thanked her and proceeded to find him.
Sitting in a leather chair, my father was having his usual glass of vodka while reading the LA Times. It was funny how normal he looked in his chair, without a care in the world, given what had happened over the past weeks. Matter of fact, it was the most relaxed that I had seen him since we first met.
As I took a seat on the couch beside his chair, he lowered the newspaper and moved his eyes towards me. Folding it in half, he placed it on the coffee table and said inquisitively, “You look like you have something on your mind.”
He couldn’t have been righter. Adjusting my position to make myself more comfortable, I said, “Papa, I need to ask you something. Well… more like I need your advice.
“Anything for you, myshka,” he responded fondly.
“I don’t know what to do. My heart is telling me to forgive Xavier for not telling me the truth about his past, but my head is telling me that he is going to end up hurting me again.”
There was a slight smile on my father’s face when he rose from his chair and took a seat beside me. Leaning over, he kissed the top of my head and said, “Only you will know what is best for you. I can only tell you what I think.”
“And what do you think?” I asked.
“I think that everyone makes mistakes, and God knows that even I have made more than my share. One thing that you have to decide is how much Xavier really means to you and whether you would be happier with him or without him. I see the way you two look at each other, even now. He loves you, Tessa, that is a given, and I think you love him too.”
My father knew me better than I knew myself. I did love Xavier, more than any man I have ever loved. Actually, he was the only man that I have ever loved. Kissing my father on the cheek, I gave him a hug and said gratefully, “Thank you, Papa.”
When I got to my room, I got ready for bed. I knew that it was going to be a long night, especially since there was so much that I needed to think about. Removing my clothes and slipping on a silky nightgown, I finished my nightly routine and made myself comfortable under the soft covers. Staring at my phone, I kept going back and forth, contemplating whether or not to call Xavier. I told him that I needed time. In order to stick to my word, I placed my phone face down on my nightstand.
As I shut my eyes, letting the darkness consume me, the sound of my phone vibrating one time let me know that a message had come in. Giving up my willpower, I picked it up and turned it over. Touching the red message box, I brought up
the messages to find the Xavier had messaged me. Only a few words came up, ‘Please don’t ever forget about me…’ I could never forget about him and because of that, I opened the message.
Please don’t ever forget about me and how much we have shared together. All I ever wanted was to protect you and love you. I hope and pray that you will come back to me.
My finger tapped the message box, but I was unable to respond. As much as I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, my heart still hurt. I remembered what my father said about everyone making mistakes. Even I had made a few of my own. Hovering over the message box, my fingers began going to work.
Xavier, I want you to know how much you hurt me. My heart broke into a million pieces when I found out you weren’t who you said you were…
Pausing for a moment, I thought really hard about what I was about to do. I did love him and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. Taking a deep breath, I continued.
I also believe that people deserve a second chance. I am going to take a leap and give you that second chance.
When he responded back, I slowly read his reply. Never again will I keep things from you. You are my world and mean everything to me. I promise you won’t regret your decision. I love you, Tessa.
I didn’t reply to his text only because his words left me speechless. Placing my phone on the nightstand, I laid back on the bed, grasping the pillow next to me and squeezing it against my chest. I wasn’t sure if my heart was filled with joy in giving him another chance or regret for letting him back in.
~*~*~*~
Never had I slept as well as I did. With everything that had happened over the past week, I felt like I could finally relax. Mr. Colin was in jail and things with Xavier and I would, with time, be back to what they had been.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I found the music app on my phone and turned up the volume. It had been a long time since I had any desire to listen to any kind of music, but last night changed all that. Moving my hips to sound of “The Weekend,” I danced my way over to the bathroom where I began brushing my teeth. Watching myself in the mirror, I saw something that I hadn’t seen for a while. Happiness. It was strange, wonderful feeling after having years of sadness with no will to do anything. It was all because of Xavier that I felt this way.
Turning on the water to the shower, I made a promise to myself. I was going to make this thing between us work. No regrets. Xavier would keep his word, I was sure of it. Since fair was fair, I thought that was only right that I tell him the truth about my life with Mr. Colin and the many things he made me do. I didn’t want to keep things from him either.
Showered and dressed, I was heading down the stairs when I heard voices coming from the sitting room. Needing to know what was going on, I entered the room to find that my father and Xavier were having a heated conversation. By the look on their faces, something was up, and it didn’t appear to be good. Taking a chance that they would tell me, I asked, “What is it? Both of you look way too serious for it to be anything good.”
Xavier walked over to where I was standing, taking my hands in his. “It might be better if you took a seat,” he expressed thoughtfully, as though it would make a difference in what he had to say.
“Please, just tell me what it is,” I demanded, looking between Xavier and my father.
When there was only silence, a lot longer than I wanted, my words were even more commanding, “Dammit, tell me what is going on. I am not a child. I can take whatever you have to say.”
“Sweetheart, please calm down. There is no easy way to say this, but Colin Gates has been released,” my father stated hesitantly.
“What do you mean ‘released?’” I questioned loudly, emphasizing ‘released’ as I held up the hand using the sign for quotation marks.
“There was some technicality in the arrest and he was released, and the charges were dropped,” he explained.
Looking at Xavier, I asked nervously, “Is this true, Xavier?”
“I’m afraid so. Colin told the DA that he had been set up and felt that his life was in danger. There was testimony from some of his guests stating that Colin was in fear for his life and he felt additional security was necessary. He lied and said that even some of his team turned on him.” As Xavier explained, I could tell that he was sickened by the news more than I.
“This can’t be happening,” I stated, pacing back and forth, searching for a reason why.
Xavier walked up to me, gathering me in his arms to stop my erratic movements. “Tessa, there is no way I will let anything happen to you. He will never lay another hand on you again.”
~Seven~
I believed everything Xavier said about doing everything he could to protect me from Mr. Colin, but I also knew that Mr. Colin was a very powerful man and he would never let any other man have me. According to him, I was not only his property, but an investment. His pot of gold, to be exact. If there was money to be made, he would never let go of me.
No matter how tightly Xavier held on to me, Mr. Colin wouldn’t just go away and forget about me. What was even more concerning was that he would do whatever he had to in order to get me back, and that included removing every obstacle in his way.
While my father and Xavier figured out a way to keep me out of harm’s way, I listened to what they had planned. As much as it should have been my choice where to stay, I knew they both loved me and would come up with an acceptable place that we could all agree on. Heading to the kitchen, I needed to sort some things out myself.
When I pushed open the door, Agnes was preparing breakfast. There was so much about her that I loved. Not only was she the sweetest person I had ever met, but her cooking was beyond amazing. Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I took a seat at the counter and watched her mix together the batter she would use to make her signature crêpes. Maybe one day I would be able to be a fantastic cook like her.
Looking over at me with a smile, she said curiously, “You look like something has you upset, sweetheart. Does this have to do with Colin Gates? I couldn’t help but over hear Mr. Evans and Mr. London talking this morning.”
“I don’t know what to do, Agnes,” I replied frantically.
“Whatever happens, Tessa, your father and Mr. London will see that nothing happens to you. I bet my strawberry crêpes on it.” Looking at each other, we began to laugh. Agnes always had a way of making me feel better. “Now come. No more fretting. Help me make breakfast.”
Standing up, I took the apron that she was holding out and wrapped it around my waist. Learning the art of cooking would definitely take my mind off Mr. Colin and being taught by the best was an added bonus.
Listening to Agnes’s instruction, I began rolling out the dough, making sure it was as close to paper thin as possible. When I had finished rolling out the dough, she began filling them with a cream filling. I placed the filled crêpes in a glass pan where they would be covered with a succulent strawberry sauce and eventually topped with homemade whipped cream.
With everything finished, we began taking the items to the dining room table, which Agnes had already set. It amazed me how much effort she had put into everything she did. Everything was precise and looked so beautiful, like it was prepared for royalty. Looking at the display in front of us, we left the room to tell the men that breakfast was ready.
Before we left the room, the aroma of breakfast must have reached the sitting room because Xavier entered the dining room with my father close behind. My father took a deep breath and said, “Something smells delicious.”
“I would have to agree,” I heard Xavier chime in.
Looking over at Agnes, a hint of red appeared on her cheeks as she smiled at them. “Now, now. Just eat and enjoy. I would prefer to have no leftovers.”
I wasn’t sure what Agnes was thinking, but as usual she made enough crêpes for an army. There was no way that we could finish all of them. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, but I said, “Agnes, please join us. There is
so much food here.”
“I would love to, but I have already eaten and there are dirty dishes in the kitchen calling my name,” she responded, bowing her head in respect and leaving the dining room through the door that led back to the kitchen.
As we sat and ate, there was little to no conversation between us after Agnes had left. I knew that I said I would allow the guys to come up with a plan to protect me from Mr. Colin, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have the right to know. Finishing the last of my bite, I swallowed and asked straight out, “So, what is the plan?” The way they jerked their heads upward, I knew they hadn’t expected me to be so forward.
Xavier placed his napkin on the table and crossed his silverware over his plate before he said, “Will you excuse us, Johnathan? I need to speak with Tessa.”