“Now listen to me.” Her voice was firm, but her face was gentle. “I really like you Anna, and I really like that Julian likes you. I think he genuinely cares about you, and you seem to feel the same way.”
“I do—”
“But I don’t want my son to be a Kyser.”
My mouth dropped open. That was not what I expected. “But he is a Kyser.”
“Only by blood,” she said. “And even then only half. The other half’s mine, and I hope it’s stronger.”
Never in a million years would I have expected that response, and while I sort of understood where she was coming from, it was completely unfair and not a good enough excuse. She was obviously in love with a Kyser, and maybe their family had issues, but all of the issues could be traced back to one big thing—The Secret. And lying and sneaking around wasn’t helping anyone heal.
“I don’t know which half is stronger,” I said, “but I do know neither would want to be lied to.”
She stopped walking and stared out at the ocean. Then she took a deep breath and sat on the sand wrapping her arms around her knees. I sat down facing her.
“Julian is confident and happy,” she said. “He has no idea Bill’s his father, and I want it to stay that way.”
“But you love Mr. Kyser!” I bit my lip hoping I hadn’t gone too far.
Her eyes dropped, and for a moment she didn’t speak. Then with a little nod from her, I started to breathe again.
“I do love him,” she said quietly. “I love him very much. But Bill’s… he’s not the type of influence I want in my son’s life.”
I was amazed. Somehow we’d made it to a place we’d never been—a place more open. It gave me hope. I started to say more, but she cut me off.
“You know his children. You’ve seen how they are. I don’t want Julian becoming like that. I don’t want him growing ruthless. Or angry. Or depressed.”
“Have you ever considered that could change?” I said quietly, carefully. “The problems with Will and Jack and Lucy… well, it’s because of what happened to their mom.”
Ms. LaSalle shook her head. “It’s more than that.”
“Yes, it’s because their dad completely shut down. He blocked them all out and did nothing but blame himself and long for you.”
Ms. LaSalle looked at me strangely. “What do you know about it?”
“I… well, I…” Heck! She didn’t know I’d read the journals. “I just guessed that’s how it went. I mean, it seems that way—”
“Anna, you don’t know Bill like I do. Even when he was your age, he was so focused and determined. His personality is so strong.” She looked in the distance. “Meg was no match for him.”
“But he’s different when he’s with you. I’ve seen him. And it would be different if you were together.”
She didn’t reply, and we were quiet for several seconds just listening to the waves break on the shore. It really was a beautiful, chilly day.
“I’m sure losing their mom hurt Bill’s children,” she finally said. “But the money, the power, all of that plays a part in who they are. And a big part of who Julian is comes from his independence. He doesn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations.”
“But that’s what’s bothering him,” I said. “Not knowing who he is causes him to doubt what he can be.”
She shook her head. “I’ve already told you what I think about that. Right now he’s going through a huge transition. It’s scary, and he’s nervous. But Julian will be fine.”
I couldn’t argue with her anymore. Clearly, I wasn’t going to change her mind today.
“We’ve got to get back!” She jumped up and dusted off her skirt. Then she turned, and I followed her back in the direction we’d come.
“Yeah, I’ve got to get home anyway,” I said.
She paused a moment, and I could tell she was choosing her words. “Please trust me, Anna. I love Julian, and I only want what’s best for him.”
“But you’re wrong.” I said softly. “And I love him, too. And you’re asking me to lie to him. You of all people should know how that makes me feel. The position it puts me in.”
“I’m sorry you found out.” She shook her head. “But the truth would hurt him so much worse. You have to trust me.”
I frowned, and she gave me a brief hug. Then she turned and quickly went into the shop. I stood beside my car in the parking lot thinking about her son and wishing I could see him. Ms. LaSalle was the most frustrating person. Mr. Kyser had a strong personality? That was a joke coming from her. I’d never met anyone so stubborn. Finally, I gave up and drove home.
Chapter 19
Mom was balancing a large coffee cake and running out the door as I was running in. “Dinner’s in the microwave,” she called breathlessly and kissed my cheek.
“Where are you going?”
“Miranda called in sick, and I’ve got to run over to work the register at the association office.”
The art association was also a working gallery, and with the start of high season, they were as busy as everyone.
“Will you be late?” I asked.
“Shopping ends at seven, and then I’ll just have to close up the register and shut everything down.”
“Where’s dad?”
“He had to check on some problem at a job site.” She stood in the door looking frustrated by all my questions.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be fine.” I said, waving my hands. “Take off.”
“You sure?” She paused, the cake still balanced. “You could come and help. I know it’s tough being alone with the breakup and all.”
“Oh! I didn’t tell you! We got back together!”
Now she was coming back inside. “Did you do what I said? Tell him how you felt?”
“Yes! And it worked. He…” I couldn’t tell her he’d spent the night. “We decided we really wanted to be together.”
“That’s great, hon. I really like Julian. Now, I’ve got to run!” She turned and opened the door again, dashing out. “I’ll talk to you tonight!”
The house was silent, so I walked over to the couch, picking up my phone. I touched his profile, expecting voicemail. My heart jumped when he answered. I could hear his smile, which made me smile, too.
“Are you calling to say you love me again?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “And I’m home alone. And I miss you.”
“Where’s your hot mom?” His voice strained in a way that sounded like he was lifting something.
“She has to work til seven and then shut down.”
“And Dad?”
“Some problem on a job site.”
“I’m still at Blake’s, but I could be over in a half hour.”
“Sounds great.” I hung up the phone and ran upstairs to shower. I had just enough time to pick out a cute dress and freshen my makeup when I heard his car outside. I ran downstairs as he tapped on the door.
“Different perspective coming through the door,” he smiled pulling me into his arms. I slid my hands up his shoulders and he leaned down to kiss me. His soft lips touching mine made every part of me feel electric.
“Julian?” I whispered.
“Hm?” he kissed my cheek, my forehead.
“Mom’s idea of dinner was a hot pocket.”
He chuckled and raised his head to look at me. “I love those!”
I shook my head. “We are not splitting a hot pocket.”
“C’mon. I’ll buy you dinner.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to.” He smiled, pulling me out the door to his car, and we jumped in and drove to ZaZa’s at the Intercoastal marina. It wasn’t as packed as it was going to be when tourist season got going, and we were able to find a table quickly. I ordered a jerk chicken sandwich while Julian just had a Coke.
My brows pulled together. “You’re not hungry?”
“I’ll eat your fries.”
That made me smile. “Deal. You can have them all.�
��
“So did you drive over to Mom’s?” He sipped his drink and grabbed a handful off my plate.
“Yep.” I nodded, finishing my bite.
“See anything you liked?”
Shaking my head as I swallowed, I managed to speak. “She didn’t have anything of yours on sale.”
He smiled. “You know, Mom’s pretty good at making jewelry, too.”
A few families shared the restaurant with us, and I noticed a dad walking two little boys down to the sandy playground just off the dining area. A live band was playing acoustic classics at the other end of the room, and the lapping of the water against the wall formed a constant backdrop. I watched Julian’s eyes follow the man with his sons.
“How’d it go with Blake?” I interrupted his thoughts.
“I’m thinking about buying that truck from him.”
“What?” I frowned.
“It makes more sense for moving stuff and taking pieces to galleries, and my car’s about had it.” He tossed a fry at me. “You don’t want to date me without the convertible?”
“Please. I don’t care what you drive.” But I was thinking about my BMW ruse. “Have you made a deal with him?”
“Nah, it’s just something I’m thinking about. He wants to fix it up to sell. Get some extra cash. I might not be able to give him what he wants for it.”
Julian was still watching the father with his sons. I looked over at them. They were a cute family, and it was obvious the little boys adored their dad. I was worried about what he might be thinking.
“You ready?” I said.
“You done?” He inspected my half-eaten sandwich.
I laughed. “I don’t want to eat up all our time together.”
“Good one.” He grabbed a big bite of my dinner.
“I thought you weren’t hungry!”
He shrugged. “ZaZa’s is expensive.”
My heart sank. “We didn’t have to come here.”
“I figured you’re used to going out to nice places.”
“Julian…” I reached across the table for his hand.
“What?”
“Jack and I only went out to dinner once.”
He didn’t meet my eyes. “I wasn’t thinking about him.”
“No? Who else have I dated?”
He shrugged, standing and holding the back of my chair. “You did other stuff.”
I stood and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”
“Let’s get out of here.” He put cash on the table, and we left the restaurant.
Driving home, I slid across the seat and put my head on his shoulder.
“You really should be safer,” he said.
“I know. I was just thinking about how restrictive seatbelts are.” I kissed the side of his neck, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It was the greatest ride home ever, but sadly, when we pulled into my driveway, my dad’s truck was there.
“Great,” I exhaled.
Julian laughed. “Poor dad. Want me to come in or just come back later?”
I shrugged. “It’s up to you.”
“Let me head on home. I need to check in with Mom.”
I slipped my hand up to his cheek and kissed him softly. Our lips parted, and when his tongue touched mine, every part of me heated up. He gently pulled back, and our eyes met, his that cool Kyser blue. I’d thought I loved Jack, but I had never felt this way about anyone before. Julian knew me so well, and even though he made my stomach tighten into knots every time he smiled at me, they were thrilling knots. Yet somehow, at the same time, I was completely at ease with him.
“Back soon,” he whispered.
I walked into the house and Dad was at the bar eating the hot pocket Mom had left in the microwave. “Where have you been?” he asked.
“Julian took me to ZaZa’s.”
Dad frowned. “I thought Mom said you two broke up.”
“We did, but we got back together.”
He nodded. “He’s a good kid.”
“I think so.” I watched him take another big bite of the sandwich. “Hey, Dad? What would you do if…” I wasn’t sure how to phrase it without giving away too much information.
His brow creased. He put down the hot pocket and faced me. “If what?”
“Well,” I hesitated, “say you knew somebody who was keeping a secret from somebody else. And you really wanted them to tell the other person, but they wouldn’t.”
“Not much you can do about that. Who’s keeping a secret?”
I shrugged. “Just one of my girlfriends. And I think the person needs to know the truth, but I can’t convince her to tell him.”
He pressed his lips together briefly. “Is it something dangerous?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Is someone going to get hurt?”
“Not physically.”
“Then you’re just going to have to let it play out.”
I frowned. “But it’s the wrong decision.”
“Then she’ll have to deal with the consequences.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. I hugged Dad and made an excuse to go upstairs. After a while, Mom stuck her head in my room to say goodnight, and a little while later the entire house was quiet. I glanced at the clock and realized Julian would be here before long.
Running over to my dresser, I dug out the cutest sleep set I owned then I smoothed my hair and touched a little perfume on my neck. I smiled, feeling self-conscious. I’d never done any of these things for him before.
Still, I turned on my music player and adjusted the volume to low then I slid into bed and picked up a book. I had fallen asleep when I felt him slide in behind me, but my heart jumped. I quickly moved into his arms.
“Hey,” he whispered. I didn’t speak, but rather scooted up to kiss him. He rolled me onto my back and kissed me slowly. Our lips moved against each others’, and my whole body felt tingly and warm. A small noise came from my throat as his hands slid under my shirt. Chills followed his fingers across my stomach, traveling higher, until he discovered I wasn’t wearing a bra. He made a pleased sound, and my arms tightened around his neck.
Pressure was building inside me with every touch, and I pulled desperately at the thin sweater he wore. He quickly took it off and returned to me, but my hands weren’t satisfied. They went under the tee he was wearing, I wanted his skin. But as soon as I touched him, he let out a frustrated groan. He kissed my mouth one more time before sitting up and shoving his fingers into the sides of his hair, propping his elbows on his bent knees. I frowned and pulled up beside him, straightening my top.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
He shook his head but didn’t speak.
“What is it?” My whisper grew more urgent. I wanted him back. I wanted to keep doing what we were doing.
“I can’t do this,” he said, jaw clenched. I watched as he slid to the floor and leaned back against my bed.
I dropped down beside him, my body still throbbing. “I don’t understand. We’ve been doing this for months.”
“Yeah, but it’s different now.”
My lips tightened, and I reached for his shoulder. I wouldn’t let him pull away like this. I wanted him to kiss me again.
He looked at me. “I want it be special for you. Not like this, here, with your parents right across the hall.”
“Julian…” I moved to my knees and put my hands on his cheeks to kiss him. He lowered his knees and pulled me into his chest, but after a few more kisses, he moved me beside him and stood.
“I’d better go,” he said.
“Why?” I jumped up to follow him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt.
“Listen,” he said, stopping at the window. “The first time’s different. You’re going to remember it. I want you to remember it. You’re my angel, and I want it to be the best thing we share.”
My hand dropped. “I do, too, but… well, it’ll be memorable no matter what.”
“Nope.” He smoothed a curl beh
ind my ear. “I want it to be better than that.”
“Julian. Stay with me.” I pleaded. “I don’t want you to go.”
He pulled me into a hug and kissed my head. “I know. I’ll figure something out soon.”
He let me go and was out the window before I could stop him. I watched him descend, and at the bottom he looked up and smiled. For some reason, the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet was in my head. What had they said about parting being sweet sorrow? I always thought that was a dumb line. Not anymore. I knew exactly what they meant. Except I’d ditch the sweet part altogether. It was only sorrow.
I gazed after him jogging down the road as long as I could until he disappeared from sight. Then I walked back to my bed, kicking a shoe across the room on my way. His sweater was on my floor, so I picked it up and pulled it over my head. It smelled like him. I carried Mr. Bear to the bed to lay behind me, and this time his huge paw around my waist combined with the warm scent of Julian’s sweater almost made me feel better. After about ten minutes, I grabbed my phone and punched up his number.
“Hey,” Julian said. “It’s really cold tonight.”
“You left your sweater.” I closed my eyes, imagining my cheek pressed against his chest.
“I realized it when I hit the ground.”
“You could’ve come back for it.”
“I might not’ve left.”
“That would’ve been okay.”
“Anna…” He exhaled a sigh, and for a moment we didn’t speak.
I broke the silence with a sad little whisper. “I miss you. We’ve been apart two weeks. We got one night, and now this.”
“I know,” he chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lost it. I’m about to turn the car around and come back.”
I sat up quick, my voice excited. “Do it!”
He laughed again. “Next night Mom’s away, can you make up an excuse and come to my house?”
“Like what?” I asked, thinking.
“I don’t know. Spend the night with Rachel or something?”
My mind raced through all our options. “We’re out of school all week. Maybe I could come over one afternoon?”
“I told Mom I’d help her at the store every day til school starts back.”
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