by Greyson Mann
So now I’m just waiting. Which is like waiting for dye to dry or sheep’s wool to grow.
Did I mention Sock is hot pink now?
DAY 27: TUESDAY
So Sam told me at school last night that he and Willow are IN. I guess Willow Witch was kind of on to Connor all along. And she’s ready to take that creeper down a notch.
We met after school this morning and talked it all through. Willow will bring her potion of invisibility. Sam will bring his Cat Cam. Oh, and his cat.
I’ve got the worst job. See, I have to find a way to bring CONNOR to the scene. And we’re not exactly on speaking terms.
But I learned a thing or two from Connor while we were co-criminals. See, he’s a prankster. And the best way to deal with a prankster is to prank him right back. I have to make him THINK we’re doing one thing, and then do something completely different. Like he did with the fireworks on Mushroom Island.
So I wrote him a note and slid it onto his desk during Language Arts. It said something like this:
I didn’t know if he would go for it. I really didn’t. I mean, he’s a pretty smart creeper.
But I’ve figured out something else about Connor Creeper. See, I think he’s kind of lonely. Like Sock the Sheep. Or like I was until Sam forgave me.
He studied my note for a while. And then, sure enough, he looked at me and nodded—that nod that says “We’re ON.”
So I guess we’re doing this thing. And when it’s all over, I’ll have fixed the Connor problem. OR Mom will be dying Sock in black and white stripes so that she can knit me some sweaters to wear in prison.
DAY 29: THURSDAY
My heart is still racing. SERIOUSLY. It’s like I just ran a marathon.
Sam is here, too, and we’ve watched the whole prank back on Cat Cam. It looks something like this:
Connor showed up at the vending machine, right on time. But I wasn’t there. At least he didn’t KNOW I was there.
See, I’d taken a swig of invisibility potion. And so had Sam. And so had Willow. And so had Moo the Cat.
So Connor saw a note on the vending machine and read it. (I wrote that note, and I’m pretty proud of what I came up with.)
It said:
Dear Connor,
Sorry I had to bail.
Bad stomach ache.
I either ate too many pork chops
while I was waiting for you,
or Mad Mooshroom Disease strikes again.
G.
He kind of chuckled when he read it, which was a good sign—that meant he bought my excuse. And then he got right to work, just like I knew he would. He pulled that key out of his backpack and opened up the front of the vending machine. And all those emeralds poured out into his sack.
Sam caught the whole thing on Cat Cam. Connor didn’t even notice that camera floating in the air in the cafeteria. He was too busy stealing his loot.
But the best part came next. See, Moo has a thing for creepers. If she knows a creeper doesn’t like her (and let’s face it, most of us don’t), she’s ALL OVER that creeper. The more a creep dislikes her, the more she wants to love up on him. It’s a cat thing.
And Connor REALLY dislikes cats. So right away, Moo must have been rubbing up against his legs, because he jumped sky high. Then she meowed, and he spun around searching for her. His eyes were HUGE, as if he’d seen the ghost of Herobrine himself.
When the potion of invisibility wore off and Moo was suddenly standing RIGHT by Connor, he SCREAMED. Like a baby villager. And jumped up on the lunch table.
And did I mention Sam caught the whole thing on Cat Cam?
Course, I kind of forgot that if Moo wasn’t invisible anymore, WE weren’t either. And when Connor saw me, he was mad as a zombie pigman. He started hissing and shaking, and we all ran for cover—because I was sure that creeper was going to blow.
Well, he didn’t. I guess he has SOME self-control. Instead, he told me that I was going DOWN. That he was going to tell the WHOLE school how I stole emeralds with him. How it was MY idea to bring fireworks to Mushroom Island.
That’s when Sam waved the Cat Cam in the air and said he had Connor on video. Stealing emeralds. All by himself. Oh, and screaming like a baby villager at the sight of a cat.
Well, THAT shut Connor right up. I thought for a second he was going to charge Sam, but then he caught sight of Willow. She had a few bottles of potion in her hands, and by the look on her face, he could tell she wasn’t afraid to use them.
“So here’s how it’s going to work, creep,” I said, all gruff-like. (I’d been practicing that voice, just in case I DID end up I jail.) “You lay off me. You quit stealing emeralds. You give the zombie janitor back his key. You ditch the stash of fireworks you were planning to use to blow up the Strategic Exploding field. And you put the kibosh on any other criminal plan you’ve got in mind for Mob Middle School. If you DON’T, the video goes public. Got it?”
He stared at me hard. I like to think he was a LITTLE bit impressed. So maybe in the end, I DID show Connor Creeper how awesome I was. But I couldn’t have done it without my friends.
Once he’d agreed to our arrangement, we went our separate ways, Connor Creeper and me. He slipped out the back door. And I went out the front door with Sam, Willow, and Moo.
I won’t say that cat was growing on me. That would be a lie. But maybe I didn’t mind her so much if she kept her distance.
And now we’re all back at my house, where things are starting to feel normal again—I mean, except for the rainbow-colored sheep out back.
When Sam and Willow saw Sock, I just said, “Don’t even ask.”
But Mom and I are going to have to have a talk about that sheep—and this knitting thing. Once my heart stops pounding in my ears and I can breathe again.
DAY 30: FRIDAY
So Connor was pretty quiet at school last night.
He was nice to Chloe when she started telling him about Strategic Exploding class. He sat by Ziggy Zombie at lunch, and from the next table over, I didn’t hear him make a SINGLE comment about Ziggy’s rotten flesh sandwich.
And when a witch asked if he could loan her an emerald for the vending machine, he said, “Sorry, but I’m fresh out of emeralds.”
I knew THAT was true, because we’d made him put them all back into the machine yesterday morning.
So maybe there’s hope for Connor yet. Or maybe he’s just being nice because he thinks I have dirt on him. Between you and me, Sam and I got rid of that video right away. Having “dirt” on other mobs just makes me feel, well, dirty.
Connor can worry about that video all he wants, and he probably will. But no one’s ever going to see him screaming like a baby villager over that cat. And he’s not going to get locked up for emerald theft—at least not if he decides to creep a straight line from here on out.
So things are better now, but everything is NOT back to normal. I mean, there are still mobs at school that are mad at me about the whole rap song thing. So I’m still working on that.
Oh, and when I got home from school this morning, I saw that Sock the Sheep had made a new friend—a very NOT normal friend. Want to know who?
SIR COUGHS-A-LOT.
Yup, that old neighbor cat was rubbing up against Sock’s legs like a baby Mooshroom loving up its momma.
At first, I was horrified. Then I saw that Sock was kind of enjoying the attention. At least he wasn’t running away or trying to jump the fence anymore.
So I guess Sir Coughs-a-Lot doesn’t mind that Sock is a multi-colored sheep. And I guess Sock doesn’t mind that Sir Coughs-a-Lot is like NOT a sheep at all.
Maybe those two are like Sam and me. I’m not a slime, and he’s not a creeper. But we get along pretty well. REALLY well actually. Every mob needs someone to hang out with, no matter what color you are or whether you have two legs or four.
So, I was heading for bed, because it’s been a l-o-n-g 30 days. But then I heard Mom’s knitting needles clacking away in the living room. And I de
cided it was time to stage an intervention. That’s like when you get a bunch of people together, and you sit down someone you love and say THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. The knitting thing, I mean.
I found Dad in the garage, burning a few sweaters in the fire pit. So I knew he’d be on board with my plan.
And Cate’s closet has been bulging with lumpy sweaters and infinity scarves that everyone knows she is NEVER going to wear. (She’s way too fashionable for that.)
So as soon as Chloe got home, all of us went into the living room. Mom was like, “What’s up?”
And everyone turned to ME to do the talking. Except I hadn’t really planned what I was going to say.
So I did what I sometimes do in uncomfortable situations. I started to rap.
And when I finished my rap, Mom burst into tears. And threw down her knitting needles.
“No!” she said. “I’m not happy. I HATE knitting.”
Well, we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. I saw Dad kind of crawl up out of his turtleneck, like the coast was finally clear and he could come out now.
“So why are you DOING it?” asked Chloe. “If you don’t like it, I mean.”
Mom shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “Because Aunt Constance said I should. And she’s so GOOD at it!”
I went all Eddy Enderman and said, “Mom, you gotta be your own creeper. Stay cool.”
She looked at me like I was super wise. (I’ll bet Eddy gets that a lot.)
But then I had a panicky thought. “Do we still get to keep Sock?” I asked. “Because, I mean, CAMMY is kind of attached to him.” I didn’t mention that the sheep was growing on me, too.
“Of course,” said Mom. “In fact, I’m thinking that once I quit knitting, I might get some chickens.”
Say WHAT?
Looks like Mom is off and running on a new plan. And I probably will be too one of these days.
But for now, I’m just going to focus on being my own kind of creeper. The kind that draws. And raps. And has Kid Z posters on his bedroom walls. Every. Single. One.