Hemlock

by N. J. Layouni

  “You must be hungry.” Vadim sat beside her. She heard him foraging about inside his backpack. When she opened her eyes, she found he’d brought a picnic. Along with a small loaf of bread, he’d brought a slab of cheese, a bladder of ale, and a couple of withered-looking apples.

  Right on cue, her stomach grumbled.

  Vadim looked up and arched one dark eyebrow at her. “Little wonder your belly protests. A wise woman once told me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you barely touched yours.”

  “Do as I say, not as I do,” Martha replied with a grin. “I’ve always excelled at not taking my own advice.”

  When lunch was over, Vadim frisked his cloak with his hands again until she reminded him he’d left his pipe at home. “You’re a complete addict. It’s not good for you, you know. Smoking, I mean.”

  “Why not?” Vadim leaned back, his strong forearms braced against the rock, he closed his eyes, basking in the sun.

  “It’ll kill you.”

  He chuckled. “So may a good many other things in my life. I am a hunted man, after all.”

  She frowned. “You don’t even care, do you?”

  He shrugged, not bothering to open his eyes. “Why should I?” His long, sooty lashes flickered softly upon his cheek. “Death is a natural part of the cycle of life”

  “There’s nothing natural about having a sword run through your…” She cringed, mentally cursing herself for making such a thoughtless remark.

  “You are doing it again.” Vadim opened his eyes and fixed her with his intense dark gaze. “Feeling sorry for me.” He smiled. “There really is no need. The past is gone. It cannot harm me now.”

  “Oh?” She wasn’t so sure.

  “What happened earlier…up by the waterfall?” he asked, neatly changing the subject. “You said, ‘it is the nicest thing anyone…’ and then you became upset. Why?”

  “No reason.” Martha looked at her hands and began folding the material of her skirt into pleats. “It was a nice thing for you to do, that’s all.”

  “Nice!” He snorted, as if the word was an insult. “What about Tony, your intended? Are you upset when he is nice to you?”

  Tony. She ground her teeth. The last thing she needed was Vadim going on about him again. “Actually,” she said, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

  “Being nice?”

  “No.” She gave an irritated huff. “About Tony.” Vadim’s sudden scowl puzzled her. What was wrong with him? Perhaps the sun was in his eyes.

  “I hope you will forgive my bluntness,” he said with icy politeness, “but I have no wish to hear any more about your beloved.”

  “Me neither. But you mentioned him first.”

  Vadim tilted his head to one side. “I think I must have misheard you.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with your hearing,” she assured him. “You aren’t the only one with secrets. And as it seems today is the day for trading them, here’s mine.” She took a deep breath before speaking. “Tony broke up with me a month before I came to this world.”

  Vadim sat up, his scowl slipping into a frown. “Broke up with you?”

  “Ditched me. Gave me the old heave-ho—”

  “I understood you perfectly.” The crease between his eyes deepened. “What I want to know is, why he would do such a thing?”

  Martha laughed. “Oh yes. Because I’m such a catch, aren’t I?”

  As usual, her sarcasm was wasted on him.

  “You might be considered so—yes. Did he at least have the decency to offer a good reason for backing out of your agreement?”

  Good enough.

  How could she tell him that Tony had two-timed her for months with his boss? His very attractive and single male boss. The truth only came out because she’d caught the two of them snogging at a party. His betrayal had been a double whammy. Although having an affair with his pretty secretary was a cliché, somehow, that would’ve been easier to take.

  Reluctant to meet his eyes, she stared at the ground and made patterns in the snow with her boots. But all the time, she was aware of Vadim staring at her, waiting for an answer. Truth time. Taking another deep breath, she said, “Let’s just say that you’re more Tony’s type than I am.” With that, she began refolding the linen cloths that had contained their lunch.

  “Ah!” In that one syllable, she almost heard the penny drop. “He likes men.” There followed a brief silence. “So why did he embark on a relationship with you in the first place?”

  It was nice having someone so apparently annoyed on her behalf.

  “In denial, I suppose.” She shrugged. “And I could forgive him for that. But what I can’t forgive him for…” She picked up Vadim’s pack, stuffing the linen napkins into it with unnecessary force. “…is for having sex with someone else when he was supposed to be with me. He lied and cheated for weeks. And you know what the worst of it is?” A bitter laugh flew from her lips. “I never suspected a thing. How stupid am I?”

  “Martha. Stop.” Vadim stilled her violent hand, his fingers gently encircling her wrist. The kindness in his voice was almost too much to take. “Look at me.”

  She did. What she saw flipped her stomach. The tenderness in his eyes melted her.

  “Be angry,” he said. “You have every right to be. But do not think less of yourself. The fact that Tony prefers men does not mean you are less of a woman. The two things are quite separate. You do understand that?”

  And there he had it. Right on the nose. At that moment, she suddenly understood the true nature of the injury Tony had dealt her. He simply prefers men. There it was, plain and simple. It wasn’t her fault. There was no reason to feel ashamed. But she did, she realised. Losing your man to another woman was one thing. Losing him to a man was quite another.

  Despite herself, she smiled. “You’re the last person I expected to understand. How did you get to be so wise?”

  “I was bred from good stock,” Vadim answered with mock seriousness. As he let go of her wrist, she experienced a flash of regret. “So why did you lie about him? Why did you tell me you were betrothed?”

  “Oh, come on,” she said, her humor returning. “It’s not exactly rocket science, is it?”

  “Is it not? I have no idea. Rocket, what?”

  She tutted. “You’re incredible, Vadim. You manage to unpick the tangle of my hang ups in ten seconds flat, but you don’t know the answer to this one? I needed Tony as protection, of course.”

  “From me?” He raked back his hair with one hand, frowning again.

  “No. From the monster in the woods.” She laughed. “Of course from you. Look at it from my point of view. I arrived in a strange world with only a grumpy caveman for company. Wasn’t that reason enough to adopt a fake fiancé?”

  A slow smile curved Vadim’s lips. “I could have dishonored you anyway, with or without him.”

  “True.” She nodded, half wishing he had. The way he said ‘dishonored’ sent a delicious frisson tingling up her spine. “But I hoped you wouldn’t. And it seems I was right to trust you.”

  “Thank you for your honesty.” Vadim inclined his head. “It means more to me than you know.”

  The way he looked at her made hot blood prickle beneath her cheeks. “You’re welcome. It’s the least you deserve for taking care of me.” She pulled her cloak about her as a fat white cloud drifted over the sun. “You can’t keep me indefinitely, Vadim. You know that, right?” she asked, suddenly serious. “What about your own life? You must want a woman, and a family of your own. How can that happen with me hanging around like a bad smell?”

  His expression became as impenetrable as stone, impossible to read, but she ploughed on regardless. “If I can’t go home, then I must make another life here. Edgeway—”

  “No! I will never consent to it. Do not waste your breath.” He leaned forward, eyes flashing. “Whether you choose to leave me or not, everyone now acknowledges you as my wife. Lord Edgeway knows I survi
ved my wounds to become a man. If he ever heard his enemy had taken a wife…” His voice trailed away leaving her to absorb the unspoken peril.

  “Oh.” Vadim’s protection came with its own dangers, it seemed. “How does the Evil Earl know you’re still alive?”

  “Ah, that.” He moved his neck from side to side as if trying to ease tension in it. Forge ambled over and lay down heavily on Vadim’s feet with a loud grumble. “He knows I am alive because I challenged him just as soon as I reached manhood”

  “You what?”

  He shrugged. “I had some skill with the sword by then, for I had trained for years under Dareth, a master swordsman of his time. He was dour and strict but an excellent teacher. And I was his most eager pupil; a young lad with a heart set on revenge.”

  Her eyes widened. “You could’ve been killed.” Duh! What was she saying? Talk about stating the obvious.

  Fortunately, Vadim was too polite to mention it. “True. But as it turned out, luck was with me that day. I escaped without a scratch. Edgeway, however,” he gave a wry smile, “was not so fortunate. Fuelled by anger rather than much skill on my part, I managed to cut him badly before his guards interceded. The pity is I did not have time to finish him.”

  “But I thought you’d promised your sister—”

  “This encounter was before I made my foolish vow.” He scowled at the distant mountains. “Over the years, I had managed to meet with Lissy in secret. Edgeway had made her his wife, omitting to mention he had slaughtered our family before she bound herself to him. When she learned the truth, the shock of it made her lose the child within her womb.” He shuddered. “She never bore him another. As you can imagine, theirs was not a happy marriage.”

  “Why didn’t she leave him?” How could any woman remain with such a man?

  Vadim sighed. “She had her reasons. I cannot pretend I understand them. In spite of everything, she loved her husband, just as much as she loathed him. Edgeway Castle was her home. She had no living family in the outside world, save a hot-headed brother with a price on his head.” He turned, fixing her with a cold, black stare. “I do not know what it is like in your world, Martha, but here a woman needs her family, especially if she does not have the protection of a man. I was angry with Lissy for a long time, but I finally came to accept her choices, even though I did not agree with them.

  “After I had wounded him, Lissy sent word she wanted to meet me. It was to be the last time I saw her.” He swallowed hard. “She looked so ill. It shocked me to see the changes a few short months had wrought upon her. Lissy had always been of slight build, but when I saw her next she resembled a walking corpse. Her fine clothes hung from her body, and her bones jutted from beneath them. Her cheeks were no longer pink but yellow, and her lovely eyes seemed too large for her face. Of course, she insisted she was well, that she had recently recovered from a fever. And because I could not face the reality, I accepted her words.”

  He shook his head. “How blind and foolish I was! I should have taken her away with me, but I did not. Even then, her thoughts were all for Edgeway—though he had several mistresses by this time and rarely sought her bed or company. She begged me never to harm him again on my oath as her brother. And because I loved her so well, I gave her my vow.” His jaw tightened perceptibly. “She died three days later.”

  Martha’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, Vadim!”

  “I did not attend her interment.” He picked up a small stone and threw it hard over the edge of the ridge. “She had been in the ground for two months before I learned of her passing. And with her death, all that remained of my blood family was gone.”

  “Have you visited her grave?” Martha asked in a gentle voice.

  “Once. Though it took me some time to find it. Edgeway guarded Lissy as jealously in death as in life. The sad thing is, in his own twisted way, I believe he loved her.”

  She looked at him, as though seeing him for the first time. “Just who are you, Vadim? Are you from a noble family?”

  He gave a heavy sigh. “Does it matter?” He stood up. “Yesterday is gone. Today, I am exactly what you see.”

  And back into cryptic mode again. But she didn’t push it. He’d re-lived a lot of awful stuff today. Did it really matter? Neither of them were who they’d once been.

  “Let us head back.” He glanced at Martha, who sat shivering beside him. “We have lingered here too long.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  They didn’t speak much on the way back down the mountain. After a day of so many revelations, there wasn’t much else to say.

  For once, Martha wasn’t troubled by Vadim’s silence. His thoughts, she knew, were in the far away and long ago. Everyone had a past, or carried some form of emotional luggage, but Vadim was hauling an entire baggage train around with him. No wonder he was sometimes so…withdrawn.

  She shivered, glad to be on the move again. It was turning colder. A bank of thick clouds had moved in and swallowed up the sun.

  When they reached the village, the light was already fading from the sky. The days of winter were still all too brief.

  Seth saw them returning, and he strolled over to speak to Vadim. As the men talked, Martha stared at the red-haired Chief, seeing him with new eyes. His bravery had saved Vadim’s life. Her heart glowed with gratitude.

  “You will be dining with us this evening, I hope?” Seth turned his head, addressing the question to her as well.

  “We’d love to.” Martha gave him a warm smile. “That is,” she glanced at Vadim, “if you don’t have other plans?”

  “Nothing that will not keep.” Her sudden consideration of his wishes seemed to amuse him.

  “Then, thank you. We will.” To the surprise of both men, she planted a kiss on Seth’s hairy cheek.

  The Chief flushed crimson and raised his hand, touching the place she’d kissed. “What did I do to earn that?”

  “You’re a lovely man, Seth,” she said. “You’ve been very good to…me.” She caught a glimpse of the frown forming in Vadim’s eyes. “I think I’ll go and see if I can help Sylvie and Ma with anything.” With that, she hurried away to the Great Hall with Forge at her heels.

  Supper was a cheerful occasion. Sylvie and Vadim had apparently buried their differences, and the two of them chatted easily together, with none of the hostility of the previous day.

  “You seem happier tonight, lass,” Ma commented later as the two of them washed the supper things. Her rheumy blue eyes twinkled. “I take it you and Vadim have found an accord between you?” A wet-sounding chuckle escaped her throat. “You have seldom looked away from him all evening.”

  Martha flushed. If that was the case, she’d better take care Vadim didn’t notice it too. “We’ve had a talk—yes.” She returned her attention to the cauldron she was scrubbing, avoiding Ma’s shrewd gaze.

  “He loves you a good deal, you know,” Ma continued, oblivious of the impact of her words. “I never thought I’d live to see him settled and content.”

  “Settled?” Now she did look up, blaming the heat of the water for her burning cheeks. If this is settled and content, what the hell was he like before? “He’s rarely here,” she said. “Why? What makes you think so?”

  Ma shrugged her thin shoulders. “‘Tis in his eyes every time he looks at you, girl.”

  Martha opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. What could she say without giving the game away? The old lady must be mistaken. But that didn’t quieten her dancing heart.

  “Surely you cannot doubt his feelings?” Ma asked. “I know the early days of a union can be difficult, but even so…”

  Martha said nothing and scrubbed the cauldron with enthusiasm.

  “Let me see your hand.” Ma extended her thin, liver-spotted hand towards Martha.

  “What for?”

  Ma tutted. “So I may read what lies there, of course.” She gave a gappy grin. “I have the gift of The Sight. It seldom leads me false.”

  “Oh, very well.�
�� Martha wiped her damp hands against her apron then proffered her right one to the old woman. “Not that I believe in this kind of thing. Do I have to cross your palm with silver first?”

  “Do not be flippant, child,” Ma scolded, gripping Martha’s hand with a strength that belied her years. “The old wisdom should never be mocked. Not even in fun. Now…” She held Martha’s hand close to her face, almost pulling her off the little stool she sat upon. “What have we here?” Squinting at her palm, she traced its lines with a hooked finger. “Oh!” She glanced up. “You have indeed traveled far.” Then she returned her stare to Martha’s hand. “I see a man, a pale man with golden hair…”

  That must be Tony.

  “And another man; a dark man. Wait, he is turning to me now. Ah, yes!” Ma smiled her approval. “‘Tis your husband.”

  “Really?” Martha leaned forward, suddenly very interested indeed. “What’s he doing?”

  Ma’s smile faded. “He is…bleeding.” She peered closer. “His sword lies…broken at his feet.”

  “What?” Martha’s heart lurched. The thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach. “When? How?”

  “I cannot know that, child.” Ma lowered Martha’s hand, her wrinkled face twisted in pain and sympathy. “Time cannot be seen.”

  “Look again!” She thrust her hand back in Ma’s face. “Am I there? What am I doing?”

  “No.” Ma shook her head, refusing to look. “You are gone. I cannot see you.”

  “What does that mean?” Martha was aware of how shrill her voice had become, but she couldn’t help herself. “Am I dead?” Or transported home again? “Who did this to him? You must know something.” Please, God, don’t let him die.

  “Listen to me.” Ma gripped Martha’s hands, darting a quick glance towards Vadim, who was heading towards them on an intercept course. “Trust no one,” she hissed. “You will be betrayed by someone close, someone you consider a friend. If you love your man as I know you do, you must protect him and all of his secrets. Just as he protects you and yours. Do you understand—do you?” Ma’s grip increased when Martha didn’t answer swiftly enough.