Kristen turned and walked away after giving Jaylin a sad smile.
Jaylin fought to clear her lust filled mind. She wanted to say more, but Kristen was gone.
*
“You won’t believe what I did, Railroad.” Jaylin sat on her back porch with her dog in her lap. “You’re kinda big for a lapdog, you know.” She smiled and made no move to push her off, and Railroad looked up at her as if hanging on every word. Jaylin took a sip of port wine and sighed, trying to push the heaviness from her chest. “I kissed Kristen. I mean I really kissed her.” She’d never lost control like that before. When she and Sally were first together there was passion, but with Kristen, it seemed beyond passion, as though she wanted to devour her. She couldn’t get enough. Kristen was tender and strong, yet gentle. She liked it a lot, and it scared her to death.
Jaylin had left the Gymkhana event after Kristen had walked away. She’d needed to find a way to get rid of the excess energy running through her, but the sip of wine warmed her in places that hadn’t cooled off yet, and her body still thrummed with sexual tension. She wanted Kristen. She had to figure out why. What would Maggie say? Am I making her into who I want her to be in my mind? She’s not Sally. She’s gentle. I don’t deserve her. Another sigh pushed its way through her constricted chest. She finished her glass of wine, guided Railroad off her lap, and headed to bed.
Jaylin tossed and turned as fragments of her dreams drifted through her memories. She’d come instantly when she’d snuggled under her down comforter and touched herself, with memories of Kristen’s warm lips and gentle touch flowing through her consciousness. She was in Kristen’s arms, their naked bodies sliding over each other. Her arms were pinned to the bed, and Kristen’s firm nipples were pushed against hers. Her hot tongue circled her clit and teased her opening before her fingers parted her warm folds and slid inside. Then Jaylin was rubbing her center against Kristen’s, combining their wetness. Another orgasm rocked her, completely beyond her control.
Jaylin woke to Railroad’s soft whines. She glanced at her clock radio. Eight thirty. She rarely slept past seven, even on Sunday. She padded barefoot to the dining room, noticing the slickness between her thighs, and opened the sliding door for Railroad, her thoughts filled with Kristen. Snippets of her dreams and memories of their kisses triggered yet another round of wetness. At this rate, she’d be unable to walk by Monday. What was Kristen doing today? She could be riding Zigzag or shooting skeet.
Kristen’s kiss was so tender, and her arms were warm, protective. She had to get herself under control. She’d be seeing Kristen tomorrow, and she had no idea what she would say to her. We can’t do this, Kristen had said. She was right, of course. She barely knew Kristen and had no idea what her past held. If it contained anything like Jaylin’s baggage, they were definitely better not going any further. Too bad. She let Railroad back inside and occupied herself with making breakfast. The ringing of her cell phone interrupted the serenity of the quiet backyard setting where she was sipping coffee and eating her oatmeal. Her emergency number. This was the first non-office hours call she’d gotten since she started working at the new clinic. She grabbed the phone, listened to the caller, and wrote down directions before heading out the door.
*
Zigzag nickered at the rough currycomb and turned his head to look at Kristen. She realized how hard she was brushing and threw the brush to the ground. “Sorry, Zig. I’ve got this woman on my mind.” Kristen laughed at the silly assumption that her horse knew what she was saying, but smoothed her hand over his back. “Ah well. It’s over. It never began, actually, but damn, that was some kiss. I know she felt it, too. I have to forget about it, though. It can’t go anywhere. I don’t have time for anything more than friendship.”
She reprimanded herself for her angry outburst. The memory of her father’s pain at the loss of his favorite mare had triggered the temper she worked hard to contain. Jaylin had come to apologize, not to be pushed against a post and kissed. Now she’d have to be the one apologizing.
She picked up a dandy brush and gentled her brushing. “It’s you and me, boy. Next week we practice for another stump race. I think you’ll do well.” Kristen alternated between a softer body brush and a grooming rag until Zigzag’s coat shone, then she loaded him into her horse trailer and pulled it toward the exit. She glanced around as she passed the bleachers, half-expecting Jaylin to be standing where she left her. She concentrated on merging her F250 into the traffic when she left the fairgrounds and thought about what she would say to Jaylin the next time she saw her. She quivered at the memory of the kiss.
Chapter Ten
“I ain’t seen you so off since you started shootin’ as a kid.” Tim stroked the stubble on his chin. “You feelin’ all right?”
Kristen nestled her shotgun into her hard case before turning to him. “Yeah. I’m distracted today. I could use a cup of your Italian roast, if you have some made.”
“You know I always keep a fresh pot goin’. Especially when you’re around.”
Tim’s crooked grin and solid presence grounded Kristen. She’d tossed and turned most of the night, beset with thoughts and dreams. First, she was kissing Jaylin, holding her firmly against her body, then Lynda, then Jaylin again. By the time she threw off her covers at four o’clock, her mind was a jumble of confusion. Jaylin had felt so perfect in her arms, yielding and reciprocal. She was soft, warm, and passionate. Lynda had been once, too. No, it didn’t matter how good that kiss was. Jaylin was off-limits.
“Here you go.” Tim set her coffee on the round table and they sat across from each other. “So what’s got you so distracted? Is your dad okay?”
“Yeah, he’s doing all right. At least, he’s no worse. I’ll be fine. Thanks for asking. How’s the new member working out?” She’d known Tim for years, but she wasn’t about to talk to him about her love life.
Tim rested his calloused hand on Kristen’s. “You need to talk, you just let me know. And about the new guy…somethin’ seems off about him. I can’t put my finger on it, though.” Tim rubbed his chin as he spoke.
“Yeah? I only met him for a minute outside a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t introduce himself, but he talked as if he knew me somehow. Weird.”
“Huh. He’s real interested in the upcomin’ club shoot. I’m positionin’ you second, by the way. He’s been askin’ for that spot, but I told him he can’t have it. He got all huffy with me. Like he had some special rights or somethin’. I’m beginin’ to think he’s got somethin’ up his sleeve. Let me know what you think when you see him.” Tim shook his head and stood. “See you later.”
Kristen finished her coffee and headed to her car. It was time to see her father, and she hated the niggle of dread she felt at the prospect.
*
Kristen noticed the Volvo as soon as she pulled into the care facility’s parking lot. She looked closer at the XC70 on her way into the building. Why would Jaylin be here? Memories of their passionate kiss triggered fluttering in her stomach. She ignored the sensation. She was here to visit her father.
“Hey, Dad. How’re you feeling today?” Kristen found her dad in the same spot she’d found him in every week for a month. Today, however, he was reclined in his chair instead of sitting with his feet on the floor. A quick assessment discovered the reason. “I see your ankles are swollen.” She gave her father a kiss on his clean-shaven cheek and noted the scent of Old Spice. His favorite. He still hadn’t responded to her question, and she wondered if he’d heard her or if his dementia had taken him away. “Are your feet bothering you today?” She hoped for a response. Any response. Fear stabbed at her heart. Maybe he’d slipped away from her for good this time.
“Are you here for that dog, too?”
Kristen leaned on the side of his chair in relief. “What dog would that be, Dad?”
“That woman down the hall. She has that little fluffy dog that sits in my lap sometimes.” Kristen hadn’t seen her father smile in so long that she wa
s confused for a moment. The home allowed residents who were able to care for small dogs to have them, but she didn’t know her father ever saw one. “It’s been sick for a week. I’m a doctor, you know. I told that woman to call someone. The dog was throwing up and pooping all over. I think she finally called a…”
Kristen watched her father’s eyes glaze over as he struggled to find the elusive word. “Veterinarian? Is that who she called?” Maybe that’s why Jaylin is here.
“Yes, that’s it. I think the nurses called. That woman was crying and carrying the little dog up and down the hallway all night. I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t find my black bag. I don’t know where I put it. It had my stethoscope in it. Do you know where it is?”
“No. Sorry, Pop, I haven’t seen it.”
“I probably left it at the office. I do that a lot. Maybe you could go check on the little dog. You used to work with a veterinarian, didn’t you? No. That was my daughter. She’ll be coming to visit me soon. I need to rest now.”
Her father closed his eyes, and Kristen fought back tears.
*
“I’ll be back tomorrow to check on Trixie, Mrs. James. I think she’ll be fine. She must have had too many treats from all her friends in the building.” Jaylin smiled at the tiny ball of fur curled up on her lamb’s wool bed. “Keep her in your room for a few days, and make sure all she eats is the lamb and rice I gave you. I want to make sure her diarrhea clears up. She doesn’t have a fever, but I’ll send the blood sample I took to the lab today to check for an infection. Make sure she gets plenty of water. I don’t want her dehydrated.”
“Please call me Doris. Thank you for coming, Dr. Meyers. She was so sick, I thought I’d lose her. She’s such a sweetheart. Everyone loves her.” She darted her eyes back and forth from her dog to Jaylin.
“I can see you’re anxious about her. If it makes you more comfortable I can take her to the clinic with me and keep an eye on her there.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t abandon her.” Doris clutched the front of her robe with both hands. “Please come back tomorrow and check on her. I promise I’ll keep her here. I have to let Dr. Eckert know. He loves Trixie so.”
Jaylin looked up from her task of repacking her emergency kit as Doris shuffled out the door. Dr. Eckert? She picked up her bag, took one more look at the little dog curled contentedly in her bed, and headed for the nurses’ station.
She heard her voice before she saw Kristen standing at the counter. She considered ducking back into Doris’s room but changed her mind. She was here for an emergency. Whatever, or whomever, Kristen was here for, was none of her business.
“Good afternoon.” Jaylin stood off to Kristen’s side, out of her personal space.
Kristen turned to focus on her, and Jaylin’s stomach flickered. Probably should have finished that bowl of oatmeal. She saw the misty look in Kristen’s eyes and her heart ached for her obvious pain.
“You have a way of showing up unexpectedly.” Kristen’s grin tempered her words, and Jaylin relaxed a little.
“The nurses called this morning. A dog in the building needed help.” She shot back a grin of her own and struggled not to squirm under Kristen’s scrutiny.
“Okay then. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Kristen didn’t move away, and Jaylin hesitated.
“I just need to talk to the nurses before I go.” She leaned against the wall next to the counter and waited.
“Go ahead,” Kristen said. “I’ll be back in a little while,” she said to the nurse on duty. She gave Jaylin a quick smile before heading off down the hall.
*
There was a sick dog in the building. Kristen hadn’t completely dismissed what her father had told her, but she’d learned to question pretty much everything he said these days. She was surprised to see a visitor with her dad when she got back to his room.
“Hello. I’m Kristen. Dr. Eckert’s daughter.” She held out her hand in greeting and tried not to flinch when Doris hugged her. She smelled of unwashed clothes and stale White Shoulders perfume.
“I’m Doris. I live down the hall. It’s nice to finally meet you. Your father talks about you all the time.”
“He does?”
“Oh, yes.” Doris lowered her voice to continue. “Well, when he’s lucid he does.”
“I see.” Kristen moved around Doris to her father’s side. “Hi, Dad. Did you have a good rest?”
“Kristen? Is that you? I knew you were coming today, but I thought later.”
“Nope, I’m here now, Dad.”
“Good. Did you meet Doris? She lives down the hall and has a little dog. She’s sick, but Doris said a nice young doctor came to take care of her.” Kristen hadn’t heard her father talk so much in months. This dog and neighbor must be good for him.
Doris took her father’s hand and squeezed before she spoke. “The doctor said her runs and throwing up were probably from too much junk food. She gave her some medicine, and Trixie’s settled down in her bed now. I’m going back to keep an eye on her. You have a nice visit with Kristen.”
Doris was leaving the room as Jaylin popped her head in. “I’m sorry to intrude, but the nurse told me you were in this unit. I wanted to give you some Imodium for your little girl. I left word with the nurses to call me if she gets worse.”
Kristen stepped out from behind Doris. “Hello again, Dr. Meyers.”
“Kristen? Sorry to interrupt, but I needed to give this to Doris.”
Doris looked from one woman to the other. “Do you two know each other?”
“Yes.” Jaylin spoke first. “Kristen and I work together. Here’s Trixie’s Imodium. I wrote down how much to give her on the bottle. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait. Please.” Kristen refrained from grabbing Jaylin’s wrist. She remembered where that led. “Could I talk to you for a minute in the hallway?”
“I’m heading home. Thank you again, Dr. Meyers,” Doris said. Then she shuffled past them out the door.
“What did you want to talk about?” Jaylin asked when she and Kristen were alone in the hall.
“It’s about Trixie. I think I know what made her sick. It may not be the only thing, but I believe my father might have given her Rolos.”
“Rolos? That’s a chocolate candy isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Chocolate and caramel.”
Jaylin ran her hand through her hair. “That would explain her symptoms. I suspected she got into something toxic. Chocolate would do it.”
Kristen bent her head and massaged her forehead. “I’m sorry. If he did give her Rolos, he didn’t know any better.”
Jaylin rested her hand on Kristen’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I do believe the dog will be fine. I think she probably threw it all up. Doris panicked and asked the nurses to call. I was here within an hour of them calling.”
Kristen raised her head and straightened, but didn’t pull away from Jaylin’s touch. “But Dad said she’d been sick for a week.” She should have known that her father’s week could easily have been a day or a few hours. She hesitated for a moment, trying to decide how far to let Jaylin into her life. “Yeah. Okay. Good. Do you want to meet him?”
“Your dad? I’d love to.”
Kristen shivered as cold replaced the warmth of Jaylin’s hand when she removed it. She took Jaylin’s hand and led her into her father’s room.
“Dad? Are you awake? I brought someone to meet you.” Her father had moved from his chair and now lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. “Dad?” Kristen gently touched his shoulder and got no response. She turned to Jaylin. “Sorry. It appears he’s in one of his stupors.” She kissed his forehead and covered him with his comforter.
“How long has your dad been here?”
Kristen walked Jaylin out to her car, held open the door for her, and paused a moment before answering. “Two years. I tried to keep him at home and take care of him myself, but it got too hard. He began wandering away from the house. I hid the keys to his car, so he started hot-wiring
it. Of all the things to remember how to do, right?” Kristen smiled at the memory. She’d admired his ingenuity. “When my mother died of cancer six years ago, Dad kind of gave up. It’s like he couldn’t bear to have memories of her dead, so his mind gave them all up.” Kristen stroked the warm car window absently. “I hired a few homecare workers, but he was more than they could handle, too. I found this place and moved him as soon as there was an opening. Anyway, you don’t need to sit here and listen to me lament my father’s fate. I’m sure you have a better way to spend your Sunday.” Kristen turned to head for her car. “Have a good one.”
“Kristen? Thank you for telling me about the chocolate and for sharing about your father. I missed most of my breakfast, and I need to get something to eat. I passed a Big Boy on my way here. Would you like to grab a bite to eat?”
Kristen watched Jaylin’s hazel eyes turn a shade darker before she stepped back and shook her head. “I have my gun in my car. I don’t usually carry it around, and my Boxter would be too easy to break into. I have to take it home.”
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Jaylin hesitated a moment, and then got into her car and closed the door.
Before she could start it, Kristen was knocking on her driver’s door window.
“Can I change my mind?” Kristen spoke loudly enough for Jaylin to hear through the closed window.
Jaylin rolled down the window. “Of course you can. I’ll meet you there.”
Chapter Eleven
Jaylin pulled into the parking lot and got out of her car to wait for Kristen.
“Do you mind if we sit by the window? I’d like to keep an eye on my car,” Kristen said.
“Not at all.” Now that they were in the restaurant, Jaylin’s nerves threatened her power of speech. Should she bring up their kiss? She was about to tell Kristen this was a bad idea when Kristen’s warm hand on her lower back grounded her.
The Courage to Try Page 7