by Sara Orwig
It was simply something she would not do.
* * *
Friday afternoon in Dallas, Blake met Cade for lunch, sliding into a chair opposite his brother.
“Well, is the house finished?”
“Yes, and it looks great. I’ll have a party and you can come see. I was going to have a big party soon—you and the rest of the brothers, if Nathan and family are back, Sierra and her family, friends. I’ll have it, but it may be postponed for a time.”
“Are you leaving town?”
“Yes, but that isn’t why. The job is over, and I don’t know how much I’ll see of Sierra.”
Cade tilted his head. “Are you two dating each other?”
“Yes and no,” Blake said. “Yes, we were, but no, we’re not currently. But we’ll see each other some. We have some problems to work out.”
“House problems?”
Blake gazed at his half brother. He felt closer to Cade than anyone else he knew. He had to share his news. “Okay, this isn’t for public announcement, but maybe—oh, hell. She’s pregnant with my baby.”
“Kaboom,” Cade said, his eyes opening wide with a startled expression on his face. “Wow. Congratulations, I think. You don’t sound like a happy dad. I know you didn’t plan to marry this soon, but you said you expected to get hitched sometime. Just move it up.”
“That’s not the problem. The lady said no. We’re opposites in so many ways, and she doesn’t think we can ever truly make it work or fall in love. Her parents have this perfect union of like-minded individuals, and that’s what she wants. Plus, she is Miss Do-Good and wants me to be the same.”
Cade sputtered and tried to bite back a smile. “Sorry. You’re a nice guy, but not out to save the world.”
“No, I’m not, but I’m not an ogre. It’s this deal about my hotels and our dad that gets her.”
“Ah, the light dawns. She doesn’t know our dad. He’s no saint. His people will just dump the hotels and go on to something else, and he may never even know you were behind the loss in revenue.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m starting to realize.”
“If she won’t marry, maybe you’re better off. Look at our dad and all his marriages—all disasters. Sierra’s folks are an exception. You may be fortunate she turned you down. She’s not going to try to keep you from your baby, is she?”
“Oh, no. She would never do that.”
“Well, then. I’d think you’d be a lot happier without a wife. Stop and think about it. With your way with the ladies and your money and success—most women would be screaming for marriage. They would be running to get a preacher before the words were out of your mouth. Be glad, my brother. Besides, she could be right, you know. If the two of you are opposites, why tie your lives more closely together? You can still be a dad, and she’ll still be a mom, and each of you will find love with someone else.”
“Why did I tell you about this?” Blake asked, frowning at Cade.
“To get some sound advice. Seriously, think about what she’s telling you. You may be much better off without her in your life. She’s sharing your child, letting you be dad, and that’s good. An unhappy marriage isn’t great for a kid to grow up watching. I can promise you that because I was caught in one—a little kid doesn’t understand. I’d say you’ve got good advice, so go with it.”
“Well, I’ll think about what you and Sierra are telling me, but I think I came to the wrong person. You’re warped.”
“Yes, because of my father’s lousy marriages. Need I say more? That proves my point.”
“All right, I’ll think about it. I don’t have a choice. She seems to have her mind made up,” he said, looking at Cade and thinking about how cynical and hard he could be about some things in life. Usually he was easygoing, friendly and upbeat, but he had another side, too. Was it because of their dad? Was Sierra right that they could never make a marriage work?
Cade stared intently at him.
“What?” Blake asked. “Did you say something to me? Sorry, my mind wandered.”
“Watch out when you cross the street. If you’re that lost in thought about her, you’ll get run over.”
“I’m not going to get run over, and I’m not lost in thought about Sierra.”
“You were a minute ago. You haven’t fallen in love with her, have you?”
“No, I’m not in love, but that wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
“No, but if you’ve fallen in love, then you won’t be able to cope very well with her rejection. Otherwise, live your life, love your child and don’t look back. A lot of guys would trade with you in a flash.”
“You’re just Mr. Wisdom. I may go to a gypsy fortune-teller for advice next time.”
Cade grinned. “I’m more interesting, and I know you better. You didn’t even hear what I asked you, so maybe you’re in love and you don’t know it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d know it.”
“You’ve got the symptoms. You’re lost in a fog. You didn’t eat your lunch. You’re thinking constantly about her. If you’re in love, then that’s a whole different disease with different symptoms and a different cure.”
“Sometimes I wonder why I talk to you. Under the same circumstances, wouldn’t you think constantly about the woman you got pregnant?”
“Sure. Seriously, Blake, reconsider pushing that proposal. You’ll get time with your child, and you will be a lot happier.”
“You can’t rescind a proposal,” Blake remarked dryly. “I need to get back to work.”
“Okay, bro. Take it easy and come see me. I’ll drop by soon to see the new wing. Congratulations on the baby. That’s exciting news. Nate’s little girl is a doll. I’m scared to pick her up, but she’s a cutie. With your baby, I’m going to be a half uncle—how’s that?”
“You’ll be a full uncle. Wait until I ask you to come help.”
“Call someone else. That’s not my field.”
“No kidding,” Blake remarked, shaking his head as they walked out together and parted outside. “The party may not happen until after I’m a dad,” he called over his shoulder.
He left Cade and drove back to his office on the fourth floor of a building he owned, away from downtown Dallas.
He needed to give some thought to several things. One was his true feelings for Sierra. He wasn’t in love. Were Sierra and Cade right—that the baby would be better off if he and Sierra didn’t marry? If that was true, then he should back off and drop his proposal.
After considering it for the next hour, he still thought marriage was the best solution. They could make it work without love. Why wouldn’t Sierra give it a chance? He didn’t want to examine why the idea of coming home to her as his wife appealed to him.
For the rest of the day, he thought about the baby, Sierra, Cade and the future—and he continued to debate with himself about his marriage proposal. Tomorrow, they would all look at his new wing, and if everything was satisfactory, Sierra, Lucinda and Eli would be done. As far as his relationship with Sierra went, when she left it wouldn’t be goodbye. Even if they didn’t marry, they would see each other and their lives would be intertwined for years to come.
It was difficult to see how it would be better without marriage, yet both Sierra and Cade thought so.
Anger persisted when he thought how stubborn she was over this issue. She told him to take his time and think about it, but she didn’t seem open to thinking about it herself.
This pregnancy was something neither of them had expected, and now they had to work it out some way. He just knew he would be there for his child.
The one thing he wouldn’t consider was the question Cade had asked: Was Blake in love with the mother of his child?
* * *
On Saturday morning, Sierra dressed in navy slacks and a white silk blouse. Brushing her hair, she let it fall loosely over her shoulders. Eli and Lucinda had flown into Dallas earlier and picked her up on the way to the ranch. She’d be going with the o
thers, the contractor and a photographer Eli was bringing, so she wouldn’t be alone with Blake, which suited her. She was certain he hadn’t changed his mind, and neither had she.
At his ranch, he opened the wide front door to welcome them all inside.
At the sight of him in jeans and a black knit shirt, she wished she didn’t have the same breathless reaction she’d always had. He stepped back. “Come in,” he said.
After greeting everyone, Blake stood talking to Eli and motioned to them. “We’ll go look at the new wing that all of you have worked on. It’s exactly what I hoped I would get—a fantastic addition to my house, and something I could never have come up with on my own. Let’s look at all your work.”
They entered the open living area with its ceiling that was two stories high. The remaining walls were off-white so the artwork would stand out. The painting over the mantle was an early David Hockney that Eli had managed to find. It was one of Blake’s favorites.
Sierra thought the room was beautiful—sleek lines in the furniture, minimal clutter and so different from the rest of the house. Blake sounded sincerely happy and enormously pleased with the finished wing.
As she looked at him, she felt another pang. She wouldn’t let herself think of possibilities, wishes that couldn’t happen. She wanted love in her marriage, and she didn’t think a union without love would benefit their baby, no matter what Blake said.
She missed him, and she wanted to finish this tour, tell him goodbye and start trying to get over him. She needed to get to the point where she could deal with him without it tearing her apart.
As she looked at him, he turned and his gaze locked with hers. Again, she experienced that sizzling current taking her breath. She didn’t want to feel it or be held in his mesmerizing gaze. But she was, this time like all the others.
She turned her back to him and moved with the group to the next room. Why, oh, why, did he hold such a volatile attraction for her? They were worlds apart, and a baby wasn’t going to pull them together. As far as she could see, marriage would just make things worse.
The last time she was home, she had talked with her mother first and then both parents, and they had agreed with her that marriage without love would be disastrous.
She would have felt better about her decision upon hearing their agreement, except she was certain they would support her in whatever she decided. If she had said she was marrying Blake even though they were not in love, she felt she would have had the same approval from them.
Her sisters were divided on the subject, and her brothers pushed her to marry Blake, but all of them would stand by whatever decision she made, and they would welcome her baby the same as they had all the other children in the family. She already had toys and baby clothes, presents from her family.
When they entered Blake’s bedroom, she spent time studying the art, avoiding looking at the king-size bed because it would stir memories of being with Blake, even though it had been in his other bedroom. She wanted out of his house, to get away from the ranch and back to her own world in Kansas, doing the work she loved—and beginning to get over her time with Blake Callahan.
Finally, the tour was over. Wendell served trays of delicious-looking food, and the dining room table held more trays and platters. Since she had come with Eli and Lucinda, she would have to stay until they left, so she drifted around, trying to keep away from Blake, wanting to avoid talking to him.
But then he appeared in front of her. “You don’t have anything to drink. We have orange juice, tomato juice, iced tea—all kinds of drinks. Can I get you something?”
“I’m fine, Blake.”
“If you’ll stay, I’ll get you home later and we can talk.”
She gazed into brown eyes that hid his feelings. “Thanks, but I have a plane to catch, and I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other at this point in time. I still feel the same as I did when we last talked.”
“We still might try to work things out.”
“We have months to figure things out. I’m not staying.”
She could feel the clash between them. Nothing showed in his expression, but she was certain he wasn’t pleased. She turned and walked away, stepping into the kitchen to see if Etta was there. Sierra wanted to say hello and compliment her on the food.
“We’ll miss you here,” Etta said. “You come back.” She patted Sierra’s arm. “His rooms are wonderful.”
“Thank you. A lot of people worked on them.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“Thanks, Etta,” she said, surprised by the last. She couldn’t imagine Blake had said anything to Wendell or Etta about the baby, but she couldn’t recall Etta saying that to her before.
Finally, Lucinda asked if she was ready to leave, and fifteen minutes later she stepped to the door and turned to Blake.
“I’m sure we’ll be in touch.”
“Sierra, the new wing surpassed all my hopes and expectations. Eli and Lucinda are very talented. You’ve got a wonderful eye. Everything in the new wing is perfect. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, thinking how polite they were being with each other. She was aware that Lucinda and a few others standing around could hear their conversation.
“Lucinda and Eli have done a fantastic job. I’m glad you like everything. I have to say thank you, too, Blake. Your generosity will help Dad’s church and the agency immeasurably. We’ll keep in touch to let you know where the money goes. It will do so much to help so many.”
“That’s good. I’ll see you soon,” he said, holding out his hand. She had to take it, and the minute they touched she felt an electric current, a deeper awareness of him.
“I’ll call,” he said quietly, and released her. She joined Lucinda and Eli, who stood beside the rental car. Her back tingled, and she didn’t want to turn around and look to see if Blake still stood at the door watching them.
She didn’t expect to see Blake again for a long time. Would he come around to her way of thinking about marriage?
She hurt. And she knew why. She had fallen in love with Blake. Maybe with time it would diminish.
She fought back tears, thankful that Lucinda and Eli were discussing their art purchases.
Once Sierra got her emotions under control, she joined in the conversation, thanking them for all their hard work and complimenting them on so many excellent choices in art and furniture.
Sierra kept her emotions bottled up until she reached home, a house she had rented near her parents. She finally sank into a chair, put her head in her hands and cried. She missed Blake.
She had to admit to herself that she had fallen in love with a man bent on revenge. She couldn’t marry a man like that. Even more of a stumbling block was the fact that Blake wasn’t in love with her. She never wanted to be in a loveless marriage.
She had gotten pregnant, and she couldn’t change that. She would have Blake’s baby and they would share their child. She’d have to figure out a way to heal her broken heart.
EIGHT
Blake sat staring at the phone. Sierra still didn’t want to take his calls. They had talked a few times, but they always had the same argument, then she would hang up. He missed her, and it shocked him. There seemed to be a big, empty hole in his life. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, wanting to see her, even just to talk to her. He wanted to be with her again.
He still thought marriage was a good idea. Even with their differences, marriage seemed the best solution. Surprisingly, it was something he wanted.
Mostly he just wanted to see her. Why wouldn’t she take his calls? They had to talk again.
What would he have to do to get her back into his life? Promise to not mention marriage? He remembered Sierra urging him to call his dad—would that get her to talk to him again?
If he hoped to ever get Sierra back in his life, he suspected he would have to change his attitude toward his father. He remembered her asking if he had ever tried to call his father
and find out more about the man.
Blake hadn’t ever gotten past his hurt and anger enough to do so before, but he began rethinking things. A phone call was a simple matter. He had nothing to lose. Having lunch together wouldn’t be a big deal, and if his father said no, at least he would have tried. If he called—even if his father wouldn’t talk to him—maybe that would soften Sierra’s attitude.
He suspected his father wouldn’t be one bit more eager to talk to Blake than Blake was to talk to him, but then Blake could tell Sierra he had called his father.
Cade knew how to get hold of the man, so Blake sent Cade a text asking for the number to talk to their dad. He received a prompt reply: Do I need to get an ambulance for you?
He fired back, Not yet.
Staring at the number, he sat a long time, still debating with himself. “So, what the hell?” he finally asked aloud. If his dad wouldn’t take the call, so what? That wouldn’t be a change from their relationship all of Blake’s life. He dialed, and in seconds he heard a voice he didn’t even recognize. Taking a deep breath, expecting the connection to be broken within a minute, he knew he had nothing to lose.
“This is Blake Callahan,” he said, wondering if the man would even acknowledge him. “I feel that I should address you as Mr. Callahan. I don’t know you well enough to call you anything else.”
“This is a surprise,” said a deep voice.
Through the years, Blake had seen pictures of his father, but none recently. Would he even recognize him? He used to see a family resemblance sometimes.
“I called to see if we can have lunch soon. I think it’s time I met you.”
The silence stretched between them. “I live in California now.”
“I’m working out there, so that’s fine. I can meet you wherever you want,” Blake said, amazed he was asking his father to have lunch.